Thursday - September 14, 2006

As The World Turns

A jealous nun. Having a four-year-long affair with a priest. Catches him in bed with another woman. A married woman. Nun attacks priest with machete and sets fire to his house. Nun has had two abortions during four-year affair with priest. Nun is 39, priest is 70. Did I miss anything?

You just can’t make this s**t up ....

Nun Tried To Kill Priest After
Finding Him In Bed With Another Woman
_{(DAILY MAIL-UK) - 13th September 2006 3:55PM GMT}

A jealous nun appeared in court charged with threats to kill and an arson attack on a priest’s house - after she caught him in bed with a married woman. Sister Silvia Gomes De Sousa, 39, saw red and set fire to Father Carmelo Mantarro’s house after she nabbed him ‘in flagrante.’

The furious nun - who was also Father Carmelo’s cleaner - was also armed with a machete and threatened to kill the priest before being restrained by passers by. Police and fire officials were quickly on the scene and managed to put out the flames which had been started by sister De Sousa using matches and candles on curtains and furniture.

The drama happened in the sleepy Italian village of Roccalumera near Messina on the island of Sicily and was the talk of the nation as it dominated TV and radio news programmes.

The saucy goings on were made even more interesting by father Carmelo’s age - he is 70 years old - and is said to have been sleeping with both sister De Sousa and the other woman for several months.

At the court hearing Sister De Sousa also claimed to have had two abortions as a result of having unprotected sex with Father Carmelo and also showed several love letters from him. She told the hearing: “I just flipped when I came to the house and caught him in bed with another woman who is married.

“We had been together four years and I had even had two abortions because of him.” Judge Antonino Giacobello freed sister De Sousa - who is accused of threats to kill and arson - on bail and adjourned the case until next month.

Posted by The Skipper     on 09/14/2006 at 10:11 AM   
Filed Under: • Crime • Odd-Strange • Religion •  
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   Wednesday - September 13, 2006

Catfish News

Let’s let bygones be bygones. What’s a little holocaust between friends?

• Germany Ordaining 1st Rabbis Since 1942

Maybe he needs his eyes checked? Or maybe the vision he refers to is drug induced?

• Khatami Offers Moderate Vision of Iran

This would sure explain a lot. I’ve always wondered about the Iranians and South Koreans.

• Neanderthals Around Longer, Study Says

There can be only one, McCloud!

• Scotsman Prevails in Long Clan Fight

You just have to know they’re in deep kimchee if they have to encourage rabbits to breed!

• North Korea Pushes Rabbit Breeding for Food

And finally, just when you thought it couldn’t get any weirder ....

Posted by The Skipper     on 09/13/2006 at 02:54 PM   
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   Tuesday - September 12, 2006

Be Prepared!

Are you a road warrior, logging millions of miles each year? Travelling all over the world chasing contracts or sales? Constantly flying from one stop to another but constantly worried about how to stay alive in the dangerous world we live in? Have no fear, boopsie! A company called Stephenson Strategies is looking out for you. If you own a SmartPhone, Palm PC, Pocket PC (and who doesn’t have a cell phone or PDA nowadays - besides Osama Bin Laden, that is?), then we’re here to help soothe your troubled mind.

Order your copy of “2004 Terrorism Travel Guide” ($9.95) today if you’re afraid you might get crammed into coach classs next to a sweaty Arab, muttering under his breath while trying to set fire to his shoe. Or if you’re concerned about that wizened old Indonesian man across the aisle with the miserable cough and the odd purple-green skin color, order “The Pandemic Flu Survival Guide” ($9.95). Why? ‘cause we’re looking out fer you ....

        

Posted by The Skipper     on 09/12/2006 at 04:14 PM   
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   Sunday - September 10, 2006

Really Cool Stuff

  

---

No steering wheel and no floor pedals!

GET ME OUT OF HERE ...

Posted by Officer Pupp     on 09/10/2006 at 02:39 AM   
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   Thursday - September 07, 2006

Lamest Excuse Of All Time

Those wacky Euro-Peons! What will they think of next? They come over here, get crazy and then come up with some of the lamest excuses ever invented. This cat went way beyond the “dog ate my homework” category and all the way out to the ”I just wanted a hamburger” excuse which was used today by Paris Hilton (who?) after she was arrested for DUI. Which do you think is more entertaining: the goat excuse or the hamburger excuse?

Speeding Driver Blames Lack Of Goats
_{OTTAWA (Reuters) - Wed Sep 6, 2006 12:17pm ET}

A Swiss driver caught speeding in Canada explained that he had been taking advantage of the ability to drive fast without hitting a goat, police said on Wednesday.

The driver was caught traveling 161 km/hr (100 mph) in a 100 km/hr zone in eastern Ontario Sunday.

“A motorist from Switzerland, used to driving around hills and mountains, takes advantage of the ability to go faster without risking hitting a goat,” read the traffic officer’s notes of the incident. Local police said it was the first time they had ever heard of such an excuse.

“I’ve never been to Switzerland but obviously they must have a problem with that there,” said police spokesman Joel Doiron, adding that in his 20 years of service he had never found a goat on the highways of eastern Ontario. The Swiss driver’s imaginative excuse did him little good. Police issued him a C$360 ($330) speeding ticket.

Posted by The Skipper     on 09/07/2006 at 01:18 PM   
Filed Under: • Odd-Strange • Stoopid-People •  
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   Monday - September 04, 2006

Way Too Much Money?

World’s Most Expensive LCD TV

Do you have way too much money and far too few brains? Are you looking for the next big must-have “toy” for the loaded loons? Then we have a deal for you! Now you too can throw away money like Paris Hilton and half the princes in Saudi Arabia do. Without all the angst of actually having anything worthwhile to show for it.

This television set on display at the Berlin consumer- electronics fair IFA costs a cool 100,000 euros (130,000 dollars), organizers said Monday after surveying the expo for the most expensive TV. The LCD panel from Italian maker Keymat Industrie is plated with white gold and studded with 4 grams of diamonds.

Keymat Industries, which said IFA was the first non-Italian fair where the model from its Yalos range was shown, added that US and Saudi buyers had already shown interest. IFA runs until Wednesday so hop on your private jet and get to Berlin to place your order for this “gem”. Supplies are limited. Get yours and be ready when Robin Leach calls to interview you for the next episode of ”Lifestyles Of The Rich And Stupid”.

Posted by The Skipper     on 09/04/2006 at 02:18 PM   
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   Monday - August 28, 2006

Most Ridiculous Headline Of The Day (so far)

There are a million punchlines for this story. Choose one and run with it. Woof!

Woman Crashes When Teaching Dog to Drive
_{BEIJING (ABC NEWS) - Aug 28, 2006}

A woman in Hohhot, the capital of north China’s Inner Mongolia region, crashed her car while giving her dog a driving lesson, the official Xinhua News Agency said Monday.

No injuries were reported although both vehicles were slightly damaged, it said. The woman, identified only be her surname, Li, said her dog “was fond of crouching on the steering wheel and often watched her drive,” according to Xinhua.

“She thought she would let the dog ‘have a try’ while she operated the accelerator and brake,” the report said. “They did not make it far before crashing into an oncoming car.”

Xinhua did not say what kind of dog or vehicles were involved but Li paid for repairs.

Posted by The Skipper     on 08/28/2006 at 07:49 AM   
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   Friday - August 04, 2006

Talk about a Miracle

I think this qualifies.  A man on a fishing boat gets speared in the chest (straight through to the other side) with a marlin’s bill, knocked into the water and dragged under, still impaled by the fish.

He survived!

Angler speared by a giant fish
When he saw a companion on his boat hook a giant fish during a sea angling contest, Ian Card was delighted.

Next second, the scene of triumph turned to horror - as the 14ft blue marlin leapt out of the water across the vessel and speared Mr Card through the chest with its spiked bill.

The impact of the 800lb fish knocked him overboard into the Atlantic off Bermuda.

Then, with a thrash of its tail and with the 32-year-old still impaled and bleeding profusely, it dragged him underwater.

Terribly injured, he somehow stayed conscious as he struggled to pull himself free of the marlin’s 3ft razor-sharp spike before he drowned.

Finally, he wrenched himself away and was rescued by his companions on the boat - who included his 58-year-old father Alan.

Good grief. 

Yesterday, he told how his son surfaced with blood pumping from his wound. ‘He put his hand up to his chest and his fingers disappeared,’ he said. ‘He had a wound about as big as your fist.’ Mr Card was rushed to hospital, where sur- geons carried out an emergency operation and yesterday he was in a stable condition.

But doctors told him that if the marlin’s spike had struck a fraction of an inch higher, it would have severed an artery and killed him.

Missed it by that much.

Mr Card, I think there may be a purpose to your life that you have yet to fulfill.

Posted by Drew458     on 08/04/2006 at 10:50 AM   
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   Wednesday - August 02, 2006

Material Girls

So what do you say, ladies? A diamond ring or a 50” plasma TV? What says love and devotion to you? Hmmmm? Tell us guys what floats your boat ...

Apparently “Forever” Has Been Over-Rated
Wed Aug 2, 2006 9:55am

Diamonds are no longer a girl’s best friend, according to a new U.S. study that found three of four women would prefer a new plasma TV to a diamond necklace. The survey, commissioned by U.S. cable television’s Oxygen Network that is owned and operated by women, found the technology gender gap has virtually closed with the majority of women snapping up new technology and using it easily.

Women were found on average to own 6.6 technology devices while men own 6.9, and four out of every five women felt comfortable using technology with 46 percent doing their own computer trouble-shooting. “People make the assumption that women are not as advanced as men when it comes to technology and I was surprised at the parity men and women now have in terms of technology,” Geraldine Laybourne, chairman and chief executive of Oxygen Network, told Reuters.

The Girls Gone Wired survey of 1,400 women and 700 men aged 15 to 49, which was conducted by market researcher TRU, found that given the choice, women would opt for tech items rather than luxury items like jewelry or vacations. The study found 77 percent of women surveyed would prefer a new plasma television to a diamond solitaire necklace and 56 percent would opt for a new plasma TV over a weekend vacation in Florida.

Even shoes lost out. The study found 86 percent would prefer a new digital video camera to a pair of designer shoes. The study found over the next five years women see themselves increasing their activities in six tech areas: digital cameras, cell phones, e-mail, camera phones, text messaging and instant messaging.

Laybourne said this increasing use of technology among women was expected to continue—with advertisers needing to ensure they addressed women’s increased usage and knowledge. “Women don’t feel like they have been given credit for what they know and they are condescended to,” Laybourne said.

Posted by The Skipper     on 08/02/2006 at 10:57 AM   
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   Tuesday - August 01, 2006

The Llamas Of War

“You go to war with the llamas you have, not the llamas you might want or wish to have ...”

Llamas Help Israeli Troops
Bear Lebanon Offensive
JERUSALEM (Reuters) - Mon Jul 31, 11:56 AM ET

It may have one of the world’s mightiest militaries, but Israel has turned to imported beasts of burden to help troops wage a 20-day-old offensive against Hizbollah guerrillas in Lebanon.

Israeli newspapers carried pictures of South American llamas accompanying commandos out of southern Lebanon, their saddlebags full of fighting gear.

Yedioth Ahronoth daily quoted a senior Israeli military commander as saying the white-furred pack animals could carry up to 60 pounds each over rough terrain, were quiet and required feeding only once every two days.

Posted by The Skipper     on 08/01/2006 at 12:23 AM   
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   Sunday - July 30, 2006

Light My Fire

There must be fifty ways to leave your lover. C’mon baby, light my fire. Hunka-hunka burning love. Fire! (Hendrix) Fire on the mountain. Fire down below.

Help me out here, people. Which song goes with this lunatic story?

Man Charged With Setting Girlfriend Aflame
HYATTSVILLE, Md. (AP) - July 30, 2006, 8:11 AM EDT

A man was charged early Saturday with an attack on his girlfriend that left her with second- and third-degree burns on her upper body. Anthony Willoughby, 40, of Hyattsville, was taken into custody at the home of a friend, less than two miles away from his home after he contacted police to arrange his surrender.

Willoughby was charged with attempted murder, assault and malicious burning in connection with injuries suffered by his 39-year-old girlfriend.

Prince George’s County police said the couple was at Willoughby’s home early Saturday when they apparently had an argument. Police said that around 2 a.m., the dispute escalated and the woman was burned.

“Once she was doused with the gasoline and set on fire, she ran from that location to her home,” less than a half mile away, said Cpl. Clinton Copeland, a police spokesman. Police and emergency medical technicians responded to a 911 call placed from the woman’s home. She was taken to Washington Hospital Center in the District of Columbia for treatment of her injuries.

Police first went to Willoughby’s home before they were notified of his whereabouts. “We were called to the friend’s house,” Copeland said. The woman has not been identified because she is an alleged crime victim. Willoughby was being held at the Prince George’s County Detention Center.

Posted by The Skipper     on 07/30/2006 at 01:47 PM   
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   Monday - July 24, 2006

Sign Of The Times?

I first saw this on MSNBC a few nights ago and wondered what would cause someone to put up a sign like that. I didn’t have time to investigate further then so I just mentally filed it away. This morning it popped up on my radar again so I had to go get the whole story.

On one side we have all kinds of outrage coming from various diasbled groups and the media. The problem is there are always more than one side to every story. It turns out the boy referred to in the sign has been physically harassing other neighborhood children and wandering around all over the place.

The sign was probably not the best solution but it appears the neighbors have not been able to convince the parents of the boy to get him under control or get the police to handle it so what recourse do they have? You tell me ...

Family Upset About Sign
In Neighbor’s Yard
_{NEPHI, Utah (KSL-TV) - July 21st, 2006 @ 10:00pm}

A cardboard sign is hanging in a tree, directed at a boy with developmental disabilities, and the boy’s mother isn’t happy. Neighbor: “I’m not taking the sign down, last night was the first night of peace we’ve got in a long ----- time.”

Carrie Heaton, Colton’s Mother: “They’ve put up this sign now, that we feel is very discriminatory against my son.” The cardboard sign is hanging in a tree in the Central Utah town of Nephi.

It is also being denounced tonight by advocates for the disabled. The boy’s family noticed the sign pointed at their home on Wednesday night, and tonight it is still there. That’s despite our visit to the neighbors who put it up.

Advocates for the disabled are outraged, calling it insensitive and in the same category as a racial slur. His mother says he is more like a three year old. Carrie Heaton, Nephi Resident: “He looks normal but once you start talking to him, you can see he has these problems and he’s just a loving little guy, he thinks we’re just a great big family.”

But now a cardboard sign is hanging in their neighbor’s tree—spray painted with the words: “Caution-- Retards in Area.” His mother says it is fortunate Colton can’t read the words. As we were filming the sign, we could see the neighbors who put it up were outside, so we approached them for their side of the story.

Sam Penrod, Eyewitness News: “Why did you put that sign up?

Neighbor: “I’ve been harassed for six months, my daughter has been assaulted.”

Sam Penrod, Eyewitness News “By who?”

Neighbor: “The young boy, we got pictures and everything and they would not press charges because he is handicapped.”

The neighbor claims Colton threw a rock at his young daughter. Other neighbors told us they have frequently found Colton wandering onto their property. Fraser Nelson, Executive Director, Disability Law Center: “Regardless of cognitive disability I may have, I’m a person and people do not deserve to have signs pointed at them, making fun of them, scaring them, harassing them.”

We contacted Nephi Police and they are working with the Juab County Attorney—who told me tonight—he finds it distasteful and derogatory and is researching what legal options may be available, since the neighbors still refuse to take the sign down. The Disability Law Center is planning to meet with local officials to offer sensitivity training there in Nephi.

Posted by The Skipper     on 07/24/2006 at 06:50 AM   
Filed Under: • Odd-Strange •  
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   Saturday - July 22, 2006

Foul Play

Man in Chicken Suit Cries Foul Over Abuse
_{SEARCY, ARK (AP) - July 22, 2006, 7:10 AM EDT}

To Steven Turnage, it was bad enough to dress up in a chicken suit and stand along a city street in 105-degree heat. Having passers-by shoot bottle rockets at him has him crying foul.

“People don’t take this costume seriously,” said Turnage, who wears the suit to promote a fast-food restaurant. “They need to understand that there’s a human underneath that suit. It’s getting to the point where this is really a dangerous situation.”

One rocket nearly hit him in the eye and another burned part of his suit. Police have heard Turnage’s complaints but haven’t issued any citations. “Obviously it is against city ordinance to shoot fireworks inside the city limits,” police spokeswoman Amber Dillon said.

Turnage said that during the two weeks he has worn the chicken suit people have thrown smokeless tobacco cans at him and tossed frozen drinks. After a bottle rocket attack, he called police.

“It’s challenging,” Turnage said. “You’ve got to be very dedicated and have a high tolerance for heat. You almost have to have a calling from the Lord to do this type of work.”

Posted by The Skipper     on 07/22/2006 at 08:35 AM   
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   Friday - July 21, 2006

Most Ridiculous Item Of The Day

Get real! You have to be kidding me!

Jerusalem Gay Parade Called Off Due To War
_{(Y-Net News) - July 21, 2006}

Open House announces cancellation of parade, which was scheduled for August 10, but says other gay pride events will take place as planned. ‘We are determined to fight for our right to march in Jerusalem this year,’ organization’s director says

The Open House Organization announced Friday that the World Pride parade, which was scheduled to take place on August 10 in Jerusalem, has been called off due to the war in Lebanon.

However, the other gay pride events will take place as scheduled, the group said in a statement. “This is not the time for celebrations,” Open House said. “The parade, which requires extensive security, will not take place due to the situation.” The organization said the parade will be held with the improvement of the security situation in the country.

“The gay pride events will take place as scheduled in a format that is sensitive to the situation and as part of the continued democratic struggle for a free Jerusalem,” the statement said. “These events, along with the conventions, exhibits, performances and film festival will all take place as planned.”

Open House Director Hagai Elad said, “we are determined to fight for our right to march in Jerusalem this year; we will not succumb to the violent incitement against our community and against all the proponents of democracy in Jerusalem.”

Posted by The Skipper     on 07/21/2006 at 11:33 PM   
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Not that very many people ever read this far down, but this blog was the creation of Allan Kelly and his friend Vilmar. Vilmar moved on to his own blog some time ago, and Allan ran this place alone until his sudden and unexpected death partway through 2006. We all miss him. A lot. Even though he is gone this site will always still be more than a little bit his. We who are left to carry on the BMEWS tradition owe him a great debt of gratitude, and we hope to be able to pay that back by following his last advice to us all:

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It's been a long strange trip without you Skipper, but thanks for pointing us in the right direction and giving us a swift kick in the behind to get us going. Keep lookin' down on us, will ya? Thanks.

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