BMEWS
 
Sarah Palin will pry your Klondike bar from your cold dead fingers.

calendar   Tuesday - August 31, 2004

God Bless You All

Ahem ..... (wiping small tear from my eye) ....

The BMEWS Secretary Of War (also unofficial Secretary Of The Treasury) is proud to report that in just twenty-four hours we have managed to convince all you righteous, loving, caring, honest, wonderful, good-looking, highly intelligent people to donate ...... (drum roll) ......

$280.11


I think I'm gonna cry. I apologize for shaming you wonderful folks into stealing the kid's lunch money, prying the gold out of your teeth and taking Granny's life savings (just a few of the stories I heard today). The final figure is an odd number because Amazon and PayPal have to take their 1.4% cut. Sheesh! We now have more than enough to install the new blog software (which I will be working on over the next 4-5 days). As for the "overage", what say you? Should we keep it and apply it to the blog or should we send something to the troops overseas? We'll let you decide next week when we get the new software up and running .... we'll have a poll (what a surprise). Does that sound like a plan to everyone?

Here is our list of Honorary Barking Moonbat Warriors:

Barbara
Anthony
Chris
Christopher
Eric
Robert
Frank
Patrick
James
Donald
Ferdinand
Douglas
Ric
Paul

(I tried to get a complete list from Amazon and Paypal so I could thank you all but I may have missed some - I apologize if I slipped up and missed your name, please let me know and I'll add it to the list)

Again, Thank You All! We will work 200% harder to give you all the best damned blog in the Blogosphere.
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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 08/31/2004 at 11:46 PM   
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The “F” Word

What is it with Liberal Moonbats like Michael Moore and the "F" word. Could it be because they are backing ....

SENATOR FUCKFACE!

(who is a fucking useless, two-faced fucktard)

(see, Republicans can cuss too)


Tuesday, Aug. 31, 2004 9:50 a.m. EDT

Michael Moore Tells Republican 'F-You'

NewsMax's Wes Vernon spoke with Morton Blackwell, the GOP National Committeeman from Virginia and head of the Leadership Institute.

Reports that Michael Moore was gracious and friendly to convention goers may be unfounded.

Here's what Blackwell observed:

"In this hallway here [just outside the convention arena] roughly a half-hour before [McCain refered to Moore as a 'disingenuous filmmaker'], a conservative lady from a Midwestern state, whom I happen to know, went up to him [Moore] as he was walking and said something like 'May God save you' – in essence, in a very nice Christian way, calling on him to mend his ways.

"Moore's response was 'F--- you.' These were people who were guarding him [who accompanied him out of Madison Square Garden].

"They were afraid that somehow these Republican ladies and gentlemen would become a menace to him, which was rather preposterous."

Menace? Those nice folks in Madison Square Garden? Not a chance. However if he ever comes down South anywhere close to me, it's going to take a LOT of bodyguards. We have the tar and feathers all ready (actually we had to strip the Mississippi Highway Department of ALL their road tar and pluck every chicken in Arkansas to make sure we had enough material to cover this fat, arrogant, useless piece of shit!)

Memo to Michael Moore: FUCK YOU, ASSHOLE! AND THE FUCKING HORSE YOU FUCKING RODE UP ON!
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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 08/31/2004 at 11:09 PM   
Filed Under: • Democrats-Liberals-Moonbat Leftists •  
Comments (5) Trackbacks(1)  Permalink •  

A Bunch Of Skinflint Tightwads Out There

Yes, YOU! I'm talking about YOU!

Here we are asking politely for a few measley bucks from all of you to help us upgrade our blogging software and only two of you ponied up.

Frank and Bob will be on our team when the revolution comes. The rest of you ....? Well, you may have to pay us major bucks in order to be allowed into the BMEWS Fortress when the fighting starts.

And here I thought only Liberal Loonies were this tight with their money. Sheesh! It's not like we're asking you to throw your money away to the UN or the Screen Actors' Guild. This is for a good cause, dammit!

Click the PayPal button over there on the right or Vilmar is going to be EXTREMELY PISSED when he gets back in tonight.

You have been warned!

Update: OK, we'll add Paul, Eric, Ric, Stephen, Douglas & Don to the list of good guys. That's eight ....

Where are all those ladies who have been rooting for the sometimes wrong and sometimes right baseball teams and who slobber over our Sunday male pinups (that we provide just for them)??????? Hmmmmmm ....?

We've almost reached our goal of $149 to pay for the software.

I say, "JESUS is calling on you today, brethren and sistren, reach deep and scrape out those savings .. we only need a few thousand dollars more to continue His work and ...."

Oops! Sorry about that. For a minute there I had a flashback to 1982 and thought I was Jim Baker and this was the old PTL Club. "Tammy Faye, why ya wanna do me this way?"

Seriously, I want to thank all of you fine folks. As Vilmar said, we hate to ask for donations but we've steadfastly refused to get into the popup ads, banner ads and other distracting shit that a lot of bloggers use to defray costs. We'd rather just talk to you and have fun with Liberal Moonbats. He wasn't kidding about the $1800 we've spent already this year either. We'll have to renew our service contract with Hosting Matters in January, so we'll be back then to hit you up again. Until then, save your pennies and we'll leave you alone.

Sometime over the next week we will go through the process of installing the new blog software. I will probably do the switchover this weekend. There may be a period when the site looks a little ragged as I configure and setup the style sheets and all the configuration settings. You will all have to create a user login before you can comment, once we get the software installed. It is a short process where you submit a valid e-mail address and any (optional) information about yourself in a simple on-line form. Then the system checks your e-mail by sending you an e-mail which you have to reply to for validation. It only takes about ten minutes.

There are lots of other nice features in Expression Engine and I'll be telling you about them all in the next week or so. You can see a little about this blog software at pMachine's Home Page.

Again, I thank you all. Now, if I can survive training that madman (Vilmar) on how to use the new software, I'll consider myself lucky. That douchebag couldn't operate a computer with a roadmap and a shoehorn, and you already know about his temper. Damn! This is going to be a rough few weeks ahead for the ol' Secretary Of War here ....

Shhhhhh .... don't tell him I said that last part ....
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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 08/31/2004 at 05:12 PM   
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Demands From The Benevolent Dictator

Memo From The Desk Of The Benovelent Dictator Of BMEWS:

We really are not too keen on doing this but hope, when we are done explaining, that you will understand why.

Lately we've experienced some serious attacks by trolls who go around hiding behind electronic walls and posting massive commentaries that make little sense.

We are also subject to "mining" of email addresses and spam junk mail by other just-as-malignant trolls.

To that end, Allan wants us to migrate to and upgrade from our current Movable Type to pMachine's Expression Engine for our blog site. It is used by Kim duToit. It requires registration before commenting and has more features to make this blog site better.

The bad news? pMachine's Expression Engine costs $149. Given the cost of this software plus site registration, hosting, storage costs, etc. our out of pocket expenses are adding up (over $1800 this year so far).

Yep, you can go elsewhere if we fold but we figure we are averaging close to 1000 hits a day on the site. Discounting multiple entries by the same people, we probably have 250 -350 unique visitor a day. Fifty cents each would keep us going plus eliminate much of our headaches allowing us to attempt even better things on our blog to keep you coming back and interested.

With that said, will you please put a few coins in our begging cup? Just click on the PayPal or Amazon link on the right hand side.

As an added incentive we will offer the person who donates the most (and in the event of a tie we will draw names from a hat) a picture of Vilmar wearing a Cubcakes' cap holding a sign saying "Cubs Rule! Yanks Suck!"or Alan wearing a Yankee's cap (saying the opposite).

Hey, depending on the size of the amount, if it's a lady (or a man so inclined, nudge, nudge, wink, wink, you know what I mean?) you might even convince us (your choice) to do a Burt Reynolds pose for you ladies. ((AAARGH!!!! MY EYES!!!!))

{runs screaming into the wall, knocks self unconscious.}

SO GIVE IT UP! RIGHT NOW! $5, $10, $20, $50, $100, WHATEVER YOU CAN SPARE! DON'T MAKE US SEND MICHAEL MOORE TO YOUR HOUSE!
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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 08/31/2004 at 05:25 AM   
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calendar   Monday - August 30, 2004

PHOTOSHOP CONTEST!!!!

YAY! FUN TIME WITH MICHAEL MOORE, JESSE JACKSON AND DANNY GLOVER! YAY!

Take the first picture below and photoshop it to your heart's content. Submit it to us (e-mail to either Vilmar or Allan) and we'll post it here. We'll let readers vote on the best one by casting votes in the comments. The winner will receive an autographed picture of President George W. Bush!






From Ben ....


From Macker ....


From Brian ....


From Kent ....


From OldCatMan (Boo! Hiss! Leftie!) ....


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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 08/30/2004 at 11:25 PM   
Filed Under: • Democrats-Liberals-Moonbat Leftists •  
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Oliver North: Bring It On, John

If you read no other article during this election year, you absolutely must read this one. Oliver North takes on John Kerry and the result is a major smackdown .... and I DO mean major .... go get him, Ollie! OOH-RAH ....

GO READ IT!

NOW!
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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 08/30/2004 at 03:33 PM   
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Clinton and the 10 Commandments

I first heard about this on the Glenn Beck program so did some digging and found the article he was talking about.

Like Glenn, I advise all readers to break out the duct tape and wrap your head tightly with LOTS of it. That way, while you're reading the article and your head explodes from the sheer hypocrisy of what Clinton said, paramedics will be able to gather those little pieces that break free and re-construct your skull.

Here's what Fuckwad said:
"Sometimes I think our friends on the other side have become the people of the nine commandments,"

Yep! Bill Clinton, the guy who twisted the word "is" into such a pretzel shape we are still trying to straighten it out 6 years later. The guy who was convicted and fined for perjury. The guy who was impeached and subsequently lost his license to practice law for lying to a grand jury.

Yep! He accuses President Bush and the Republicans of lying!

So, in a paraphrase of what Glenn said coupled with some additional commentary by me, let's review the 10 commandments and see where Bil and his party, the Dummycraps, rank in the "TOP 10"


1. I am the Lord thy God, which have brought thee out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. Thou shalt have no other gods before me. (I will give Clinton and his party credit for this. At no time has anyone ever heard any of them pray to Satan. They may be in cahoots with or have asked for advice from Satan but they don't start their prayers with "Our satan. who art in hell.....)

2. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain. (Nope, can't give it to them. Too many accounts of the GD word. And let's not mention what Clinton may have uttered in his momments of pleasure while getting a "monica")

3. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them. (OK, Clinton gets this one. No one has ever seen him with graven images of golden cows.....................hey! wait a minute!! Wasn't there a cow in a blue dress in the Oval Office? Oh, yeah! Never mind. SHE was the one on her knees, not him.)

4. Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy. (I'll give him the benefit of the doubt on this. Glenn didn't but lots of times Clinton could be found in Black churches in the D.C. area. )

5. Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long. (Nope. Just considering all the shame Clinton and his party brought to the country should be enough to prove he DISHONORED his mother and father.)

6. Thou shalt not kill. (OK, grudgingly. I know, I know, Vince Foster? Ron Brown? But I have to give him the benefit of the doubt.)

7. Thou shalt not commit adultery. (Nope. HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!)

8. Thou shalt not steal. (Nope. Remember January 2001 when Bush walked into the White House and all that stuff was missing?)

9. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour. (Nope. Remember the Grand Jury testimoney found to be false?)

10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor anything that is thy neighbor's. (Nope. HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!! Tell that to all those women!)

Final score:

Bush--party of 9 Commandments
Clinton---party of 4 Commandments

Any questions?
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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 08/30/2004 at 02:23 PM   
Filed Under: • Democrats-Liberals-Moonbat Leftists •  
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Surprised?  I Sure The Hell Was!

I thought it was a mis-print in the headlines so I clicked to the article and apparently it is true: Kerry's daughters got booed..................at an MTV function!

What the fuck?!?!?!? MTV? Booing not just a democrat or two democrats but the Democratic candidate for President?!?!

The earth's magnetic poles must be flip-flopping (hmmmm.......wait a minute. Flip flopping?) Let me re-phrase that.......the magnetic poles must be doing a Kerry!
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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 08/30/2004 at 01:53 PM   
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A Senior Citizen’s Vote For Kerry

I often do not post anything pro-Kerry on this blog but I got this from a friend and felt it worthwhile to share with you. The individual is not only legitimate but passionate about his beliefs.



I am a senior citizen and during the Clinton administration I had an extremely good and well-paying job. I was able to take vacations and even had some vacation homes.

Since President Bush took office, my entire life has changed for the worse.

I lost my job.

I lost relatives in the terrible Iraqi war.

I lost my homes.

I lost my health insurance.

As a matter of fact, I lost virtually everything and became homeless.

Adding insult to injury, the authorities found me living like an animal, but instead of giving me aid, they arrested me.

I will do anything that Sen. Kerry wants to insure that a Democrat is back in the White House come next year. Bush must go!

I just thought you and your readers would like to know how one senior citizen views the Bush administration.

Thank you for taking time to read my message.

Sincerely,

Saddam Hussein
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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 08/30/2004 at 01:36 PM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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A Cure for the Monday Morning Blues

Are you depressed?

Feeling left out and run-over?

Does your job "suck"?

Are you unappreciated and over-worked?

Family got you down, money worries too?

Well here's the medication for you........!


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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 08/30/2004 at 01:33 PM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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Daily Dose

Quote Of The Day

"It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them. "
-- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)


On This Day In History

August 30, - 1963 The U.S.-Soviet "Hot Line" Goes Into Operation
Two months after signing an agreement to establish a 24-hour-a-day "hot line" between Moscow and Washington, the system goes into effect. The hot line was supposed to help speed communication between the governments of the United States and the Soviet Union and help prevent the possibility of an accidental war. In June 1963, American and Russian representatives agreed to establish a so-called "hot line" between Moscow and Washington. The agreement came just months after the October 1962 Cuban missile crisis, in which the United States and Soviet Union came to the brink of nuclear conflict. It was hoped that speedier and more secure communications between the two nuclear superpowers would forestall such crises in the future. In August 1963, the system was ready to be tested. American teletype machines had been installed in the Kremlin to receive messages from Washington; Soviet teletypes were installed in the Pentagon. (Contrary to popular belief, the hot line in the United States is in the Pentagon, not the White House.) Both nations also exchanged encoding devices in order to decipher the messages. Messages from one nation to another would take just a matter of minutes, although the messages would then have to be translated. The messages would be carried by a 10,000-mile long cable connection, with "scramblers" along the way to insure that the messages could not be intercepted and read by unauthorized personnel. On August 30, the United States sent its first message to the Soviet Union over the hot line: "The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog's back 1234567890." The message used every letter and number key on the teletype machine in order to see that each was in working order. The return message from Moscow was in Russian, but it indicated that all of the keys on the Soviet teletype were also functioning. The hot line was never really necessary to prevent war between the Soviet Union and the United States, but it did provide a useful prop for movies about nuclear disaster, such as Fail Safe and Dr. Strangelove. Its significance at the time was largely symbolic. The two superpowers, who had been so close to mutual nuclear destruction in October 1962, clearly recognized the dangers of miscommunication or no communication in the modern world. Though the Cold War is over, the hot line continues in operation between the United States and Russia. It was supplemented in 1999 by a direct secure telephone connection between the two governments.


Today's Birthdays

Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley, (1797–1851), English author of "Frankenstein"
Huey P. Long, (1893–1935), American political leader, Governor of Louisiana, the "Kingfish"


Thanks to The Quotations Page - The History Channel - The Biography Channel.
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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 08/30/2004 at 11:38 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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The Best Poker Player Is …. Bush?

Mark Steyn has an interesting observation on the Presidential race so far. As usual, Mark is way out in front of the rest of us on figuring out where this election is going. Good reading .... and Mark gives several good reasons why no one should ever "misunderestimate" a certain laid-back old poker player from Texas. I fold ....
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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 08/30/2004 at 01:08 AM   
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Twas The Night Before Christmas (Cambodian Version)

Twas the night before Christmas and we were afloat
Somewhere in Cambodia in our little boat.
While the river was lightened by rockets red glare
No one but the President knew we were there.

The crew was all nestled deep down in their bunks,
While the Spook and I watched the sampans and junks.
Our mission was secret, so secret in fact,
No one else would remember it when we got back.

When out on the water there arose such a clatter
I leaped down from the bridge to see what was the matter.
The incoming friendly was starting to flash
And I knew that the ARVN's were having a bash.

The snap of friendly fire on the warm tropic air
Convinced me for sure no one knew we were there,
On a clandestine mission so secret it's true
That I'm still convinced only Tricky Dick knew.

While I huddled for safety in the tub on the bow,
I thought of a title, "Apocalypse Now."
To give to the films I was I making each day
To show all the voters when I made my big play.

As I sat there sweating in my lucky flight jacket,
Spook said, "Merry Christmas!" and tossed me a packet.
And what to my wondering eyes did appear,
But a new lucky cap, which I still have right here.

I keep it tucked here, in this leather brief case,
Just sharing with the press its secretive place
As I regale them again with my senate refrain,
That Christmas in Cambodia is seared into my brain.

Don't bother to quibble with history my friend,
By pointing out Johnson was President then.
Don't listen to Swiftees who try to explain,
For I tell you that night is seared into my brain.

Down Hibbard, down Lonsdale, and you too O'Neill,
So you don't remember? Well it's something I feel.
I don't need all you Swiftvets to support my campaign,
Cause Christmas in Cambodia is seared into my brain,

Into my brain, into my brain, into my brain...

Submitted by Russ Vaughn, 2d Bn,
327th Parachute Infantry Regiment,
101st Airborne Division -- Vietnam 65-66


(--thanks to Ferdinand A. for tipping me off on this)
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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 08/30/2004 at 12:58 AM   
Filed Under: • Democrats-Liberals-Moonbat Leftists •  
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calendar   Sunday - August 29, 2004

What Do You Think?

Earlier today I posted about the French and the fact that terrorists had taken two French journalists.

Wellm the Frog King has sent his Foreign Minister to "negotiate" the release of those two distorters of news (my term for present day journalists.).

My question to readers is this:

What would happen if those news-distorters had their heads hacked off?

1.) The French would "see the light vis-a-vis terrorists
2.) The French would blame the US.
3.) Would Americans say "it serves them right?"
4.) (Something else. Insert your own thoughts)
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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 08/29/2004 at 10:30 PM   
Filed Under: • Miscellaneous •  
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DISCLAIMER
Allanspacer

THE SERVICES AND MATERIALS ON THIS WEBSITE ARE PROVIDED "AS IS" AND THE HOSTS OF THIS SITE EXPRESSLY DISCLAIMS ANY AND ALL WARRANTIES, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, TO THE EXTENT PERMITTED BY LAW INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO WARRANTIES OF SATISFACTORY QUALITY, MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE, WITH RESPECT TO THE SERVICE OR ANY MATERIALS.

Not that very many people ever read this far down, but this blog was the creation of Allan Kelly and his friend Vilmar. Vilmar moved on to his own blog some time ago, and Allan ran this place alone until his sudden and unexpected death partway through 2006. We all miss him. A lot. Even though he is gone this site will always still be more than a little bit his. We who are left to carry on the BMEWS tradition owe him a great debt of gratitude, and we hope to be able to pay that back by following his last advice to us all:
  1. Keep a firm grasp of Right and Wrong
  2. Stay involved with government on every level and don't let those bastards get away with a thing
  3. Use every legal means to defend yourself in the event of real internal trouble, and, most importantly:
  4. Keep talking to each other, whether here or elsewhere
It's been a long strange trip without you Skipper, but thanks for pointing us in the right direction and giving us a swift kick in the behind to get us going. Keep lookin' down on us, will ya? Thanks.

THE INFORMATION AND OTHER CONTENTS OF THIS WEBSITE ARE DESIGNED TO COMPLY WITH THE LAWS OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. THIS WEBSITE SHALL BE GOVERNED BY AND CONSTRUED IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE LAWS OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA AND ALL PARTIES IRREVOCABLY SUBMIT TO THE JURISDICTION OF THE AMERICAN COURTS. IF ANYTHING ON THIS WEBSITE IS CONSTRUED AS BEING CONTRARY TO THE LAWS APPLICABLE IN ANY OTHER COUNTRY, THEN THIS WEBSITE IS NOT INTENDED TO BE ACCESSED BY PERSONS FROM THAT COUNTRY AND ANY PERSONS WHO ARE SUBJECT TO SUCH LAWS SHALL NOT BE ENTITLED TO USE OUR SERVICES UNLESS THEY CAN SATISFY US THAT SUCH USE WOULD BE LAWFUL.


Copyright © 2004-2015 Domain Owner



GNU Terry Pratchett


Oh, and here's some kind of visitor flag counter thingy. Hey, all the cool blogs have one, so I should too. The Visitors Online thingy up at the top doesn't count anything, but it looks neat. It had better, since I paid actual money for it.
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