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When Sarah Palin booked a flight to Europe, the French immediately surrendered.

calendar   Saturday - April 30, 2005

Speakin’ To My Soul.

This is the song playing on my CD player right now.

(Fingerprints of God)
By STEVEN CURTIS CHAPMAN
off the CD “SPEECHLESS”

I can see the tears filling your eyes
And I know where they’re coming from
They’re coming from a heart that’s broken in two
By what you don’t see
The person in the mirror
Doesn’t look like the magazine
Oh, but when i look at you it’s clear to me that…

I can see the fingerprints of God
When I look at you
I can see the fingerprints of God
And I know it’s true
You’re a masterpiece
That all creation quitely applauds
And you’re covered with the fingerprints of God

Never has there been and never again
Will there be another you
Fashioned by God’s hand
And perfectly planned
To be just who you are
And what He’s been creating
Since the first beat of your heart
Is a living breathing priceless work of art

(Chorus)

Just look at you
You’re a wonder in the making
Oh, and God’s not through, no
In fact, He’s just getting started and…

(Chorus)




Posted by Annoying Little Twerp   United States  on 04/30/2005 at 11:27 PM   
Filed Under: • Miscellaneous •  
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Warning For BMEWS Members

To All Members:

There has recently been a rash of virus, trojan and worm attacks on certain blogs through nefarious e-mails purporting to be from the blog. Unfortunately, we are one of the targets of these asshats. Please remember the following:

This has been a public service announcement of the Barking Moonbat Early Warning System. We now return you to your regularly scheduled program, already in progress.


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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 04/30/2005 at 09:13 PM   
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Barking Moonbat Of The Week

imageYes, the weekly trophy and award are back after a brief absence. As is usually the case, we had quite a large number of candidates for this prestigious award, given out each Saturday to the previous week’s most magnificent, memorable act of Moonbattery. After hashing over the candidates in our smoke-filled conference room the judges have come up with this week’s winner ....
imageAnna Ayala

The Las Vegas woman was arrested last week and hit with felony theft charges in connection with her claim to have found a severed finger in a bowl of chili served to her last month at a Wendy’s restaurant in San Jose, California. At a press conference later, cops provided few details about the 39-year-old Ayala’s alleged Wendy’s plot, for which she was charged with attempted grand theft. However, the county coroner did make a statement that after examining the “finger” he was able to determine the finger had definitely not been cooked in the same 170 degree heat that the chili was prepared in.

Ayala was also slapped with a second, unrelated theft charge in connection with an alleged fraudulent mobile home sale. She is being held in Las Vegas’s Clark County Detention Center, where this mug shot was snapped. Ayala filed a legal claim against the food chain after she allegedly found the 1-1/2-inch finger on March 22. But she withdrew the claim after police raided her Vegas home earlier this month.

We normally give each week’s winner “the finger” as a salute for a job well done of proving to be an asinine asshat but we are withholding “the finger” this week for obvious reasons. 


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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 04/30/2005 at 06:42 PM   
Filed Under: • AwardsStoopid-People •  
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LIVE!!! … from RENO … it’s ANIMAL FARM!!!

.From Drudge

On a farm about six miles outside this gambling town, Jason Chamberlain looks over a flock of about 50 smelly sheep, many of them possessing partially human livers, hearts, brains and other organs.

The University of Nevada-Reno researcher talks matter-of-factly about his plans to euthanize one of the pregnant sheep in a nearby lab. He can’t wait to examine the effects of the human cells he had injected into the fetus’ brain about two months ago.

“It’s mice on a large scale,” Chamberlain says with a shrug…

See More Below The Fold

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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 04/30/2005 at 06:33 PM   
Filed Under: • Miscellaneous •  
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Word & Phrase Origins

In George Washington’s days, there were no cameras. One’s image was either sculpted or painted. Some paintings of George Washington showed him standing behind a desk with one arm behind his back while others showed both legs and both arms. Prices charged by painters were not based on how many people were to be painted, but by how many limbs were to be painted. Arms and legs are “limbs,” therefore painting them would cost the buyer more. Hence the expression. “Okay, but it’ll cost you an arm and a leg.”



As incredible as it sounds, men and women took baths only twice a year! (May and October) Women kept their hair covered, while men shaved their heads (because of lice and bugs) and wore wigs. Wealthy men could afford good wigs made from wool. The wigs couldn’t be washed, so to clean them they could carve out a loaf of bread, put the wig in the shell, and bake it for 30 minutes. The heat would make the wig big and fluffy, hence the term ”big wig.” Today we often use the term “here comes the Big Wig” because someone appears to be or is powerful and wealthy.


In the late 1700s, many houses consisted of a large room with only one chair. Commonly, a long wide board was folded down from the wall and used for dining. The “head of the household” always sat in the chair while everyone else ate sitting on the floor. Once in a while, a guest (who was almost always a man) would be invited to sit in this chair during a meal. To sit in the chair meant you were important and in charge. Sitting in the chair, one was called the “chair man.” Today in business we use the expression or title ”Chairman or Chairman of the Board”.


Needless to say, personal hygiene left much room for improvement. As a result, many women and men had developed acne scars by adulthood. The women would spread bee’s wax over their facial skin to smooth out their complexions. When they were speaking to each other, if a woman began to stare at another woman’s face she was told ”mind your own bee’s wax.” Should the woman smile, the wax would crack, hence the term ”crack a smile.” Also, when they sat too close to the fire, the wax would melt and therefore the expression ”losing face”.


Ladies wore corsets which would lace up in the front. A tightly tied lace was worn by a proper and dignified lady as in ”straight laced”.


Common entertainment included playing cards. However, there was a tax levied when purchasing playing cards but only applicable to the “ace of Spades.” To avoid paying the tax, people would purchase 51 cards instead. Yet, since most games require 52 cards, these people were thought to be stupid or dumb because they weren’t ”playing with a full deck”.


Early politicians required feedback from the public to determine what was considered important to the people. Since there were no telephones, TV’s or radios, the politicians sent their assistants to local taverns, pubs, and bars who were told to “go sip some ale” and listen to people’s conversations and political concerns. Many assistants were dispatched at different times. “You go sip here” and “You go sip there.” The two words “go sip” were eventually combined when referring to the local opinion and, thus we have the term ”gossip”.


At local taverns, pubs, and bars, people drank from pint-and quart-sized containers. A bar maid’s job was to keep an eye on the customers and keep the drinks coming. She had to pay close attention and remember who was drinking in “pints” and who was drinking in “quarts,” hence the term ”minding your ‘P’s and Q’s”.


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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 04/30/2005 at 06:19 PM   
Filed Under: • Miscellaneous •  
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Saturday News Bytes

Republicans broaden strategies for overhauling Social Security.

Washington—House Republican leaders vowed Friday to push through Congress an overhaul not just of Social Security but “retirement security,” grabbing the baton President Bush handed them at his prime-time news conference and promising to run with it.

“The House of Representatives will respond to the president’s challenge of addressing a fundamental safety net that is in trouble,” said House Ways and Means Committee Chairman Bill Thomas of Bakersfield.



FIGHT the LIES of the Liberal Media: Tell the Media to report the REAL polls on Judicial Filibusters!

This week, the Washington Post and ABC News released a new “poll” claiming that “by a 2 to 1 ratio, the public rejected easing Senate rules in a way that would make it harder for Democratic senators to prevent final action on Bush’s nominees.” The headline read, “Filibuster Rule Change Opposed”!

Well, that sure sounds convincing… until you look at WHO they polled, and WHAT they asked!

Because, as it turns out, their “polling sample” of 1,007 “randomly selected adults” consisted of 47% identifying with the Democrat Party, and only 38% identifying with the Republican Party! And the question asked? “Would you support or oppose changing Senate rules to make it easier for the Republicans to confirm Bush’s judicial nominees?”



New Organization wants to Downsize Washington, DC.

We believe the federal government has grown too large, too intrusive, and too expensive. We believe in constitutional limits, small government, civil liberties, federalism, and low taxes.

We want to end laws and programs that don’t work, cause harm, and violate the Constitution. We want to restore the full force of the 9th and 10th amendments, which reserve most social functions to the people and the states.

Our goal is to reduce the federal government to a tiny fraction of its current size, decentralize power, end deficits, federal borrowing, and monetary inflation, and eliminate most federal taxation and the IRS.


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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 04/30/2005 at 11:53 AM   
Filed Under: • Miscellaneous •  
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Saturday Contest

What do the two stories below have in common? E-mail your answers to “bullshit@microsoft.com”.

Out-of-work man gets the scoop on poop: Former programmer makes living cleaning up after dogs.

DELMAR, N.Y. - Computer programmer Steve Relles has the poop on what to do when your job is outsourced to India.

Relles, one of a rising number of Americans seeking new opportunities as their work shifts to countries with cheaper labor, has spent the past year making his living scooping up dog droppings as the “Delmar Dog Butler.”

“My parents paid for me to get a (degree) in math and now I am a pooper scooper,” Relles, a 42-year-old married father of two told Reuters. “I can clean four to five yards in a hour if they are close together.”

Gates Cites Hiring Woes, Criticizes Visa Restrictions.

Microsoft Corp. Chairman Bill Gates said yesterday the software giant is having enormous difficulty filling computer jobs in the United States as a result of tight visa restrictions on foreign workers and a declining interest among U.S. students in computer science.

Speaking on a technology panel at the Library of Congress, Gates said a decline in the number of U.S. students pursuing careers in science and technology is hurting Microsoft in the short run, and could have serious long-term consequences for the U.S. economy if the problem is not addressed.


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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 04/30/2005 at 11:40 AM   
Filed Under: • Economics •  
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As The World Turns

The bride-to-be in Duluth, GA who went jogging, was kidnapped, later released by her kidnappers in Albuquerque, NM and who finally was found by police after she called her fiance .... now says she made the whole story up because she got cold feet about marrying the guy.

Got all that? Me neither. Women .... can’t live with them, can’t shoot them! I guess this woman watched all those Bugs Bunny cartoons and was determined not to “take the wrong turn at Albuquerque”.

ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. (AP) - A Georgia bride-to-be who vanished just days before her wedding turned up in New Mexico and fabricated a tale of abduction before admitting Saturday that she got cold feet and “needed some time alone,” police said.

Jennifer Wilbanks, 32, had called her fiance from a pay phone late Friday and told him that she was kidnapped three days earlier while she was jogging, authorities said. But she soon recanted, according to police.

“It turns out that Miss Wilbanks basically felt the pressure of this large wedding and could not handle it,” said Randy Belcher, the police chief in Duluth, Ga., the Atlanta suburb where Wilbanks lives. He said there would be no criminal charges.

Maybe she should have just eloped .... to Albuquerque. Then she and her dumbass husband could have joined the MinuteMen and helped save America from invasion instead of just providing material for another Jerry Springer episode .... and giving me a chance to use the word “Albuquerque” five times in a single post.

Is it just me or does the bride (below left) resemble Olive Oyl and the groom (below right) resemble Bluto? Where does Popeye fit into this picture? Inquiring minds want to know ....

image image


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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 04/30/2005 at 11:15 AM   
Filed Under: • CrimeStoopid-People •  
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Media Maroons

Who says the media is based? Oh .... right. Everyone. Sorry, I forgot you folks already knew that. Well, if you didn’t all you had to do was listen to the questions at President Bush’s press conference last night ....

The most obnoxious questions at President Bush’s Thursday night news conference: In asking about how Bush’s energy bill would lower energy prices, CBS’s John Roberts falsely cited “the current record price of oil,” when the current $51 a barrel price would need to rise substantially to $90 to set an inflation-adjusted record high; ABC’s Terry Moran demanded to know: “If we’re winning the war on terrorism, as you say, how do you explain that more people are dying in terrorist attacks on your watch than ever before?”; Ed Chen of the Los Angeles Times referred to the “poisonous partisan atmosphere” and pressed Bush: “Do you personally bear any responsibility in having contributed to this atmosphere?”; and CBS’s Mark Knoller raised the media’s favorite obsession and made it personal: “How would you justify the practice of renditioning, where U.S. agents who brought terror suspects abroad, taking them to a third country for interrogation? And would you stand for it if foreign agents did that to an American here?”

Renditioning? Is that even a word? Hmmmm .... let’s see what Wikipedia has to say about the word ....

Rendition is a term coined by the United States Central Intelligence Agency referring to the practice of clandestinely shuttling captured individuals, thought to be enemies of the state of the United States (most often called “terrorists") from one country to another for the purposes of detention, torture, or interrogation. The practice has grown significantly since the 9/11 terrorist attacks.

The CIA was granted permission to use rendition in a presidential directive dating to the Clinton administration, although very few uses were documented during that time.

OK, now I get it. The media is upset at President Bush for something the CIA came up with as a result of a Presidential directive from President Clinton and which they don’t seem to want to blame Clinton for. Now I understand .... I think.


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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 04/30/2005 at 03:05 AM   
Filed Under: • Media-Bias •  
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License To Carry .. Burritos?

What have we come to in modern American society when an entire school goes into lockdown, snipers take to the roofs surrounding the school and parents pull their children from classes, all because of .... a giant burrito ....??

CLOVIS, N.M. - A call about a possible weapon at a middle school prompted police to put armed officers on rooftops, close nearby streets and lock down the school. All over a giant burrito.

Someone called authorities Thursday after seeing a boy carrying something long and wrapped into Marshall Junior High.

The drama ended two hours later when the suspicious item was identified as a 30-inch burrito filled with steak, guacamole, lettuce, salsa and jalapenos and wrapped inside tin foil and a white T-shirt.

I simply cannot add anything to this asshat activity. I am awestruck at the lunacy of most people anyway. This “incident” only serves as an example. After we secure our borders, run all the illegal Mexicans out, remove all those “dial dos for Espanol” phone menus .... we need to burn down all the Taco Bells and teach our kids to eat more hamburgers again. No one ever mistook a Double Whopper for an AK-47, have they? I rest my case.


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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 04/30/2005 at 02:45 AM   
Filed Under: • EducationStoopid-People •  
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calendar   Friday - April 29, 2005

Deadbeat Cookie Monsters

The Girl Scouts have had to resort to filing lawsuits to get deadbeat cookie buyers to pay up.

WAUKESHA, Wis. Apr 29, 2005 — Girl Scout cookies aren’t free, as a few alleged deadbeats are about to find out. One scout group has filed small-claims lawsuits against people who failed to pay up.

Christine Slowinski, communications director for the Girl Scouts’ Great Blue Heron Council, said the legal action Thursday came only after several efforts to collect the money from sales of cookies in the annual fund-raising campaign over the past two years.

The amounts owed by two couples and three other women ranged from $301.42 to $1,485.68.

C’mon, folks! Deadbeat dads are bad enough .. but failing to pay for the Girl Scout cookies you promised to buy? How low can people go? These poor little gals (and their parents) bust their buns to finance their organization with these marvelous (and fattening) cookies. Now, admittedly some parents of girl scouts are obnoxious enough to bring their buy lists to the office and blackmail their co-workers into guying these cookies (you know who you are), but agreeing to buy them and then not paying up is extremely naughty.

On a side not, the Girl Scouts have now added a new merit badge: lawyer.


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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 04/29/2005 at 08:50 PM   
Filed Under: • CrimeStoopid-People •  
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Where’s Osama?

.  Since it’s beer thirty here in my time zone. And since I am feeling VERY lazy today. And since you people have not stopped by today. I thought I’d give ya heads up on a game I found.

.  Everybody has seen the ‘Where’s Waldo’ game.

.  Let’s play Where’s Osama?


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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 04/29/2005 at 08:16 PM   
Filed Under: • Miscellaneous •  
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Beers To You

Ahhhhh, good news at last. Just in time for the weekend. It turns out that alcohol makes you smarter. At least that’s what Swedish Scientists have recently discovered ....

It’s the news drinkers have waited years to hear - alcohol consumption is good for your brain.

Apint of beer or a glass of wine triggers the growth of new brain cells and boosts memory, scientists say.

However, while moderate drinking can improve the mind, binge-drinking has the opposite effect.

Laboratory tests on adult mice showed that moderate tippling over a long period led to the formation of new nerve cells in the brain, known as neurons.

The growth of new neurons could improve memory and learning, said Prof Stefan Brene, who carried out the research at the Karolinska Institute in Stockholm.

Last night, talk radio presenter Jono Coleman claimed he was living proof of the Swedish academic’s findings. ‘It seems to be working on me,’ said Coleman, who admits to enjoying the odd glass of red wine.

‘Sometimes I’ve had a drink before a show. I think I’ve done some of my best work under the influence or hung over.’

OK, everyone. In an hour or so it will officially be the weekend. You have two days to go get smarter. So go make your brain healthy. I propose a large bottle of Johnny Walker Black scotch. That should increase your IQ by several points. Look what it did for me over the years .............. OK, scratch that. If you need help getting “smarter”, try this blog site.

image


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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 04/29/2005 at 07:37 PM   
Filed Under: • Miscellaneous •  
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Caption This!

What is the Borg Leader below (Bill “Resistance Is Futile” Gates) trying to tell us? What’s up with the waving hands? Inquiring minds want to know when we will be “assimilated”. Or has it already happened? Dang! Windows just crashed again ....

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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 04/29/2005 at 10:35 AM   
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Allanspacer

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Not that very many people ever read this far down, but this blog was the creation of Allan Kelly and his friend Vilmar. Vilmar moved on to his own blog some time ago, and Allan ran this place alone until his sudden and unexpected death partway through 2006. We all miss him. A lot. Even though he is gone this site will always still be more than a little bit his. We who are left to carry on the BMEWS tradition owe him a great debt of gratitude, and we hope to be able to pay that back by following his last advice to us all:
  1. Keep a firm grasp of Right and Wrong
  2. Stay involved with government on every level and don't let those bastards get away with a thing
  3. Use every legal means to defend yourself in the event of real internal trouble, and, most importantly:
  4. Keep talking to each other, whether here or elsewhere
It's been a long strange trip without you Skipper, but thanks for pointing us in the right direction and giving us a swift kick in the behind to get us going. Keep lookin' down on us, will ya? Thanks.

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Oh, and here's some kind of visitor flag counter thingy. Hey, all the cool blogs have one, so I should too. The Visitors Online thingy up at the top doesn't count anything, but it looks neat. It had better, since I paid actual money for it.
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