BMEWS
 
Death once had a near-Sarah Palin experience.

calendar   Saturday - April 04, 2020

One Way To Stop Corona At The Source

Production Halt On Corona Beer

Grupo Modelo announced on Thursday that it will suspend production of Corona beer as it scales down production under orders from the Mexican government.

The brewer, which also manufactures Pacifico and Modelo brand beers, is reducing production work down to the minimum necessary to resume production when restrictions are lifted. They also released a statement explaining that production could resume “if the government considers it appropriate to issue some clarification confirming beer as an agro-industrial product.”

In either case, the company is “ready to execute a plan with more than 75 per cent of our staff working from home and at the same time guaranteeing the supply of beer,” the statement said. As it stands, production will officially cease on Sunday.


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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 04/04/2020 at 08:28 AM   
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calendar   Wednesday - March 25, 2020

happy tails

UK Dog Sprains Tail From Too Much Wagging: His People Are Home All Day Now Because Quarantine

Rolo, a 7-year-old dachshund in the United Kingdom, is so happy his owner is staying home during the coronavirus pandemic that he sprained his tail from wagging it so much.

On Friday, Emma Smith of Essex posted on Twitter that her happy-go-lucky wiener dog — who loves a good belly rub and has a predisposition for tail-wagging — couldn’t contain his excitement about the sudden constant companionship.

Unfortunately, Rolo’s rudder quickly went from wagging to sagging.

“So my dog has been so happy that everyone is home for quarantine, that his tail has stopped working,” she writes of her perky pup, adding, “so we went to the vet and the vet said ‘he had sprained his tail from excessively wagging it.’ ” She included a string of laughing and broken heart emojis in the post, which was shared more than 140,000 times and liked by more than 1 million people, including “The Morning Show” and “Friends” star Jennifer Aniston.

“For those asking, he is currently on pain relief and the vet said he should be healed within a week,” she noted in a second-day post, which included a video showing Rolo’s appendage in the downward dog-tail position. “He is super happy and there is now movement from side to side but he is struggling to lift it up in the air.”

On Saturday, Smith followed up with thanks to Twitter well-wishers for their concern, saying, “I’m sure he will be back wagging like this in no time” and included a prior, undated clip of Rolo’s tail-wagging self as he ran and frolicked outside in the grass.

Smith also set up Rolo with his own Instagram account — rolo.thehotdog — so that interested pup lovers can “follow my journey getting my wag back.”



Our two kittehs are in a similar situation. With us both home now, they’re not getting their usual 17 hours of sleep. However they are getting much more attention and mommy lap time. Stuck to her like Velcro. And thank God both of them are no longer in heat. 


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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 03/25/2020 at 09:32 AM   
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calendar   Tuesday - March 24, 2020

Ringer Golf Is The New Thing.

Hey, some good news for a change.

Golf: The Allowed Activity

USGA temp rule: no more lip-outs; cups lifted 2” to eliminate contamination contact

Well, until all the courses shut down, obviously

As recently as a week ago, recreational golfers flocked to the fairways of public and private golf courses as a respite from stay-at-home guidelines and lifestyle prohibitions caused by the coronavirus pandemic. Golf, with its wide open spaces, still seemed safe.

In New Jersey’s Somerset County, the five municipal golf courses recorded 6,501 golf rounds in the first 19 days this month, a 300 percent increase over the number of rounds played in all of March last year. A similar surge in play, with players observing social distancing and other limits on close interactions, was happening all over the United States.

“The turnout almost overwhelmed us,” said Matt Kammeyer, the director of golf for Salt Lake City’s seven courses. “Just a lot of happy, grateful people enjoying a round.”

This week, it increasingly appears that golf’s reprieve was short-lived. With stricter measures on public gatherings, our games, like everything else, live in realms of past and present.

Over the weekend, dozens of cities and counties overseeing hundreds of golf facilities closed or indefinitely suspended play on their courses, usually at the direction of government agencies. That included the courses in Somerset County and in Salt Lake City and at some Trump resort properties. Scores of courses remain open, but every day the roll call of shuttered golf complexes mushrooms.

For a while last week, the pandemic had spurred a few notable changes in the recreational golf world that would have been unimaginable a month ago. For example, golfers seemed less prone to grumpily bemoan their poor shots, cruel bogeys and heartless bounces.

“Complaints are way down,” Bob Ransone, the deputy director of the Somerset park commission’s golf division, said Saturday before his operations were closed. “People are just too appreciative to be out in a beautiful environment.”

Walking the course instead of driving a golf cart had become a new norm, something many in golf have advocated — to no avail — for decades because of the health benefits.

And the customarily rigid United States Golf Association, warden of golf’s laborious rule book, even went out of its way last week to make the game, and its rules, easier.

To minimize contact between golfers, most courses had closed clubhouses and snack bars, removed bunker rakes and ball washers, gone caddie-less and encouraged the use of online payment options. But one unsanitary condition of play remained: After putting out, golfers had to stick their hands into golf holes to retrieve their ball, after dozens of golfers had done so before them.

Solutions proposed by golf superintendents soon abounded, including foam hole inserts that kept the ball near the top of the hole. Many golf courses even began raising the white liner cup, which is normally inserted into a hole, to about two inches above the ground. That way, an approaching ball could not fall into the hole but would instead bounce off the cup.

On Friday, the U.S.G.A. temporarily amended its rules to say that a ball bouncing off a cup in such a manner would count as a sunk putt for official scorekeeping.

Golf without close putts that pitilessly lip out? For a week, golfers had a new reason to smile.

So I guess ringers now count in golf, just like in horseshoes. What else could they do? Um, how about one of those grabber sticks on a pole? Some kind of thing with 3 spring steel graspers, like the small parts picker tools only longer? Or a plastic claw that attaches to your putter?


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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 03/24/2020 at 08:48 AM   
Filed Under: • Fun-StuffSports •  
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calendar   Tuesday - March 10, 2020

cute but disfunctional

big_uk_flag

I don’t see many of the Mini Cooper cars around. I was behind one driving in town earlier. I think it was a 2018 Cooper S? Whatever, before the driver ever hit the brakes I noticed that the tail lights together make the Union Jack. When he did hit the brakes, only the cross of St. George lit up. Maybe the cross of St. Andrew is for the turn indicators? I dunno. But I thought it was pretty cool, and it’s something to post about other than the Kung Flu.

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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 03/10/2020 at 01:24 PM   
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calendar   Friday - March 06, 2020

Come Again Captain Kirk?

Bill Shatner, 88, Now Divorced For 4th Time. Gets Custody Of All The Horse Semen

Hollyweird or just tabloid journalism? Both!

William Shatner and his ex-wife Elizabeth Martin have divvied up their assets and it looks like the award-winning actor is walking away with the former couple’s supply of horse semen.

The “Star Trek” actor, 88, filed for divorce from Martin in December after 18 years of marriage. Court records show the exes reached a divorce settlement this week and their takeaways from the belongings they shared are unique, to say the least.

According to reports, Shatner and Martin split up their four horses, with the actor scoring Renaissance Man’s Medici and Powder River Shirley, while Martin will get Belle Reve’s So Photogenic and Pebbles.

Poor writing. Either they split up ownership of their horses, or else they borrowed a really large chainsaw.

It would be fun watching Shatner walking away with a few 5 gallon buckets of pony in a bottle and trying to claim it as his carry-on to TSA at the airport.


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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 03/06/2020 at 09:18 AM   
Filed Under: • Fun-StuffHollywood •  
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calendar   Monday - March 02, 2020

Modeling Can Be Such Hard Work

It’s a tough job, but someone has to do it

For the Valentine’s Day issue of New York magazine in 2002, they hired a model to kiss a NYC fireman who was also a model on the side. The idea was to pay homage to the famous iconic VJ Day picture of a sailor kissing a woman in Times Square. To get the picture just right, they had to do several hundred takes. In the wake of 9/11, NYC firefighters were the apogee of heroism.

So, tough job for a pretty model, right? Having to kiss a hunky fireman for half the afternoon. Oh, such a trial.

The model was some Slovenian named Melania Krauss. Off camera, she happened to be having an on-and-off relationship with NYC real estate mogul Donald Trump. We don’t know her as Melania Krauss these days, and her hair seems to be many shades lighter.

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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 03/02/2020 at 09:12 PM   
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calendar   Monday - February 17, 2020

Trump Wows Crowd At Daytona

Like red meat to the starving

747 Buzzes Track, Trump Takes A Lap In The Beast, “Start Your Engines”


President Trump, accompanied by first lady Melania Trump, giving the instructions “gentlemen, start your engines,” before the start of the Daytona 500.


President Trump revved up NASCAR’s Daytona 500 on Sunday, becoming the second-ever president to deliver the Great American Race’s iconic command, “Gentlemen, start your engines!” and the first of any president to take a lap in the armored presidential limo, dubbed “The Beast.”

Trump, who was tapped to act as the race’s grand marshal, and first lady Melania Trump addressed the 100,000-seat racetrack at Florida’s Daytona International Speedway ahead of the race he called “pure American glory.”

The race encountered rain delays soon after it got underway; officials ultimately postponed it to Monday.

“The Daytona 500 is the legendary display of roaring engines, soaring spirits and the American skill, speed and power that we’ve been hearing about for so many years,” Trump told the crowd before the race began.
Trump and first lady Melania Trump were met with chants of “four more years” ahead of the National Anthem.

He called the tens of thousands of fans present at the racetrack “patriots,” adding that “NASCAR fans never forget that no matter who wins the race, what matters most is God, family and country.”

Here’s a clip of the flyby.

NASCAR officials postponed the Daytona 500 to Monday afternoon, following a series of rain delays shortly after President Trump appeared at the race, told drivers to start their engines and rode a ceremonial parade lap in his presidential limousine, “The Beast,” on Sunday.

The race will resume Monday at 4 p.m. ET, officials said.
...
The delay undoubtedly dampened the excitement prompted by Trump’s dramatic entrance on Air Force One, which performed a flyover and landed just a few hundred yards behind the track. The president’s motorcade arrived minutes later to loud cheers. Both entrances were broadcast on giant video boards around the superspeedway.

Trump, serving as the grand marshal for the Daytona 500, became the second-ever president to deliver the Great American Race’s iconic command, “Gentlemen, start your engines!”
President Trump, accompanied by first lady Melania Trump, giving the instructions “gentlemen, start your engines,” before the start of the Daytona 500.
...
With first lady Melania Trump by his side, Trump addressed the crowd, calling the opener “a legendary display of roaring engines, soaring spirits, and American skills, speed and power that we’ve been hearing about for so many years.”

“For 500 heart-pounding miles, these fierce competitors will chase the checkered flag, fight for the Harley J. Earl trophy and make their play for pure American glory,” Trump continued. “That’s what it is: pure, American glory.”


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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 02/17/2020 at 11:13 AM   
Filed Under: • Fun-StuffPatriotism •  
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calendar   Thursday - February 13, 2020

The Law Applies

Weinberg’s Second Law: “If builders built buildings the way that programmers wrote programs, the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.”


case in point


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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 02/13/2020 at 11:21 AM   
Filed Under: • Fun-StuffHigh Tech •  
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calendar   Tuesday - February 04, 2020

alternate reality

I love how country music so often speaks to real life. The life you get, not necessarily the one you dreamed of


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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 02/04/2020 at 03:49 PM   
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calendar   Tuesday - January 28, 2020

Nobody noticed the smell?

30 years of turtle poop in the house and nobody noticed the smell. Nor did anybody clean the place up at all in all that time? Seriously???

I Guess I’m Not Such A Bad Housekeeper After All

A family in Realengo, Brazil, found their long lost pet tortoise after they decided to finally clean out the house. Back in 1982, the Almeida Family was saddened to learn that their red-footed tortoise, Manuela, had gone missing.

Their house was being renovated at the time, so the family assumed that the tortoise had slipped out through a door left open by the construction crew—disappearing into the forest near their home.

But they couldn’t have been more wrong. The true fate of their lost pet remained a mystery for the next 30 years, until the father passed away and the Almeida children returned to help clean out his cluttered storage room.

It turns out, the father was somewhat of a hoarder, so the room was jam-packed with things.

While cleaning out the house, a neighbor asked son Leandro if he was intending to get rid of the tortoise, too.

“I put the trash bag on the floor and the neighbor just warned me ‘are you going to throw the turtle away too?’ At that moment, I went white and didn’t believe it,” Leandro told Globo TV.

That’s when the Almeidas learned that Manuela had managed to survive for three decades on her own.

The family suspects she survived on termites which, thanks to all that unwanted furniture, were likely in abundance.

Aye Yai Yaaiii, we found Mr. Turtle!! He was in the living room this whole time, since we were little kids!!!

Are termites juicy? Don’t turtles need a drink of water now and again?

PS - Think this one through a bit. Since the turtle was there the whole time, the implication is that as soon as the renovation was complete the house was hoardered up with junk immediately. Otherwise, wouldn’t the turtle be noticed in the nice new rooms?


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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 01/28/2020 at 08:20 AM   
Filed Under: • AnimalsFun-StuffStoopid-People •  
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calendar   Tuesday - December 31, 2019

Happy 2020

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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 12/31/2019 at 10:59 AM   
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calendar   Saturday - December 21, 2019

Free Copy Still Available

Stilton Jarlsberg, that totally cheesy comic writer, has put together a few hundred of the early Johnny Optimism strips in a little book. You can buy the paper edition on Amazon for real cheap, something like $5.99, or - for a limited time only - you can get the Kindle version for free.

Johnny has a tough life, a 12 year old kid suffering from just about every ailment known to medical science. He pretty much lives at the hospital with his emotional support dog Lance, dealing with the whacky staff, the doctors, nurses, the cleaning folks, etc. Plus all the other patients on the kid’s ward who have even stranger diseases than he does. It’s dark comedy, but like Stilton says, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stranger”. Oh, and lots of wretched puns. I love it.

Johnny Optimism is a darkly comic look at a wheelchair-bound boy who lives in a very strange hospital, and his unending effort to look on the bright side because “things could always get worse.” And they do get worse, time after time. Johnny interacts with a highly unusual collection of medical professionals, bureaucrats, strange kids, fellow sufferers, a manic helper monkey, a creepy clown and more - getting real comfort only from his faithful dog, Lance. Together they’re trying to cope with Life...just like the rest of us.

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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 12/21/2019 at 11:29 PM   
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calendar   Sunday - July 31, 2016

awww

Sometimes the internet gives you the greatest pictures ...

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Young Prince George had his 3rd birthday July 22

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Animal sensitive types are aghast that he fed his dog a bit of ice cream. A little ice cream never was a problem for our Welshie was I was a boy, and it seems this Welshie is doing OK with it too.


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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 07/31/2016 at 10:04 AM   
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calendar   Thursday - July 14, 2016

perfection

Gotta love the NY Post. Tell it like it is, much? En toto!  Here’s their article with the title that tells the whole story ...

Weenies burn flag to protest cops, get attacked by bikers, need cops to save their asses

A group of flag-burning anti-NYPD protesters needed New York’s Finest to save their skin from a gang of angry bikers who tried to pummel them in a Brooklyn park for setting Old Glory ablaze Wednesday.

The fiery stunt by a few dozen members of the group Disarm the Police led to a chaotic scene at about 8 p.m. in Fort Greene Park, when the activists enraged 40 members of the Hallowed Sons Motorcycle Club by roasting the flag on a tiny barbecue grill.

“They took off like little b—hes,” said one biker. “They lit the f–king flag and took off running once they got slapped once or twice.”

The anarchists had announced on social media that they had planned to burn the flag in protest of NYPD policies, drawing a large group of flag-waving counterprotesters, including the bikers.

...

While it’s illegal to openly burn anything in Fort Greene Park, the self-styled anarchists managed to find a loophole in the law that allows cooking in closed barbecue grills.

Thus, they started to roast the flag, but they didn’t burn it for long. One of the bikers rushed forward in a fit of rage and kicked over the grill, sending embers flying. He then doused it as members of the pro-flag crowd chanted “USA! USA!”

The bikers then started trying to rough up the protesters — who were quickly saved by members of the same police force that they criticize.

The protesters were shielded by the cops and escorted out of the park.

“I served in the Marines,” said counterprotester Brian Christopher, 23. “We defend this flag. We are ready to die for it. When I see people burning it and showing complete ignorance, it’s very offensive.”

What’s the foley effect that makes that comeuppance sound? Wat-wat-waat-waaaa

big_us_flag


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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 07/14/2016 at 11:18 PM   
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Not that very many people ever read this far down, but this blog was the creation of Allan Kelly and his friend Vilmar. Vilmar moved on to his own blog some time ago, and Allan ran this place alone until his sudden and unexpected death partway through 2006. We all miss him. A lot. Even though he is gone this site will always still be more than a little bit his. We who are left to carry on the BMEWS tradition owe him a great debt of gratitude, and we hope to be able to pay that back by following his last advice to us all:
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Oh, and here's some kind of visitor flag counter thingy. Hey, all the cool blogs have one, so I should too. The Visitors Online thingy up at the top doesn't count anything, but it looks neat. It had better, since I paid actual money for it.
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