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Sarah Palin's enemies are automatically added to the Endangered Species List.

calendar   Sunday - October 12, 2014

a better view of twin peaks from daily mash

I read about this site, Daily Mash, yesterday. A reviewer thought highly of it however, there wasn’t any warning.
In other words, while some things may be funny and the site is meant to be satirical, there are some things that could also bother some.

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People who claim to have watched Twin Peaks mostly lying

MOST people claiming to have seen the original Twin Peaks series are not telling the truth, it has emerged.

Following the announcement of a new series, television aficionados are bullshitting about having seen the first one when they were about four years old.

Web designer Roy Hobbs said: “I was bang into it. It’s weird, dark and there’s a dwarf in it.

“My favourite episode? Well…that’d be, probably, ‘Dwarf’.”

He added: “Clearly I am being dishonest, sorry I didn’t think we’d go into specifics.

“Now I feel ashamed.”

Plasterer Norman Steele lied about having seen the original Twin Peaks when asked by friends in the pub.

“My mate’s mate asked me if I had seen it and I just thought ‘You know what? I can get away with saying ‘Yes’ here’. So, I did.

“And I don’t think anyone noticed. I quickly changed the subject to Blue Velvet which I have seen.”

Twin Peaks creator David Lynch said: “This is going to be bigger than Breaking Bad, at least until about halfway through season one when it gets too confusing and everyone loses interest.”

DAILY MASH


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Posted by peiper   United Kingdom  on 10/12/2014 at 06:40 AM   
Filed Under: • HumorSatire •  
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Andrew Klavan.

I’m thinking Andrew Klavan is the American version of Pat Condell.


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Posted by Christopher   United States  on 10/12/2014 at 05:59 AM   
Filed Under: • Satire •  
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calendar   Wednesday - October 19, 2011

OWS mob says NO to redistribution

Occupy Wall Street protesters said yesterday that packs of brazen crooks entrepreneurs within their ranks have been robbing their fellow demonstrators blind, making off with redistributing pricey cameras, phones and laptops—and even a hefty bundle of donated cash and food.

Stealing Redistribution is our biggest problem at the moment,” said Nan Terrie, 18, a kitchen and legal-team volunteer from Fort Lauderdale.

Makes me proud to be an American. It’s gratifying to know that some Americans are still capable of engaging in the private redistribution of wealth. No government assistance required, or wanted.

“I had my Mac stolen redistributed—that was like $5,500. Every night, something else is gone redistributed. Last night, our entire [kitchen] budget for the day was stolen redistributed, so the first thing I had to do was . . . get the message out to our supporters that we needed food!”

First of all, how dare he/she/it have a $5500 Mac. I’ve never owned a Mac that cost more than $1200. Second, if they spent more time engaging in private enterprise, like these private redistributionists, whoever they are, they wouldn’t have to beg their supporters for food.

Redistribution: the politically-correct word for ‘theft.’ grin

Source: Thieves preying on fellow protesters


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Posted by Christopher   United States  on 10/19/2011 at 08:20 PM   
Filed Under: • CrimeDemocrats-Liberals-Moonbat LeftistsSatire •  
Comments (2) Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

calendar   Sunday - October 09, 2011

Occupy Wall Street: A Manifesto

Occupy Wall Street: A Manifesto

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men, women and transgendered—and any other human who is able to elude the tyranny of work for a couple of weeks—are created equal. We gather to be free not of tyranny, but of responsibility and college tuitions. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that a government long established and a nation long prosperous be changed for light and transient causes. So let our demands* be submitted to a candid world.

First, we are imbued with as many inalienable rights as a few thousand college kids and a gaggle of borderline celebrities can concoct, among them a guaranteed living wage income regardless of employment and immediate across-the-board debt forgiveness—even if that debt was acquired taking on a mortgage with a 4.1 percent interest rate and no money down, which, we admit, is a pretty sweet deal in historical context…

...but down with the modern gilded age!

We demand that a Master of Fine Arts in musical theater writing, with a minor in German, become an immutable human right, because education is crucial and rich people can afford to fund unemployment checks until we find jobs or in perpetuity, whichever comes first.

We demand a minimum wage of $10, no ... make it $20. We earned it. And we demand the end of “profiteering,” because there is no better way to end joblessness than stopping the growth of capital. We also demand a maximum wage law, because selfish American dreams need a firm ceiling.

We demand the institution of direct democracy, because if a bunch of people say it’s OK, it’s OK. And everyone deserves to have his or her voice heard. Except Mr. Moneybags, who we demand stop contributing his own money to candidates we disagree with, to issue groups we loathe and to lobbyists who do not work for organizations featuring “Service,” “Employees,” “International” and/or “Union” in their title.

We demand the end to bailouts and corporate subsidies, unless we’re talking about companies that feature sunflowers or sun rays in their logos, because that’s the kind of morally gratifying institution we approve of, and thus, they should totally be fast-tracked and bailed out with your money to bring the fossil fuel economy ("the economy") to an end.

We demand the end to a corrupt Wall Street ("Apple" “your 401(k)") because banks hold too much power. We demand that government consolidate authority so that elected officials can make prudent choices for us. All that cash in banks was printed by the war god Mars and has nothing to do with the voluntary deposits by ordinary Americans, so we do not consider this theft.

We demand the end to corporate censorship, because if we can’t force private news organizations to run the types of stories with which we agree, there can’t be a healthy democracy. So actually, we demand the end of all corporate news organizations in the name of free speech.

We demand the end to health profiteering, because everyone knows that all the wondrous and lifesaving advances in modern medicine were invented in the People’s Democratic Republic of Laos. Smart people work for the good of humanity, not because they’re greedy.

We demand these rights because of the mass injustice of being able to freely protest against racism and corporatism without any real fear of imprisonment in the most diverse city on earth. And to the wiseguy who walked by the other day and claimed that I’d be writing this manifesto with a quill pen on parchment paper if it weren’t for capitalism, we have two words for you: Koch brothers. Think about it.

This is the fifth communique from the 99.9 percent. We are occupying Wall Street, and we’re not going home until it gets really cold.


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Posted by Christopher   United States  on 10/09/2011 at 01:36 PM   
Filed Under: • CommiesCULTURE IN DECLINEDemocrats-Liberals-Moonbat LeftistsSatire •  
Comments (1) Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

calendar   Wednesday - February 16, 2011

Nothing is sacred

I honestly do not believe what I stumbled across last night…

Captain Kirk “…set phasers for BRAIINNSSS”
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Mr. Spock “…Live Long and Eat Brraaiiinnnsss”
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Yes, it’s…

Night of the Living Trekkies
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There’s even a YouTube preview. Posted below the fold for violence and gratuitous almost-nudity.

See More Below The Fold

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Posted by Christopher   United States  on 02/16/2011 at 12:17 AM   
Filed Under: • SatireScary Stuff •  
Comments (0) Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

calendar   Sunday - October 10, 2010

Common Sense, RIP

You’re probably like me, everybody forwards the latest joke to you. You’ve heard them all before. You normally trash them.

Well, Mike forwarded this to me. I’ve never seen or heard it before. So I decided to post it. That means that if any ‘friends’ forward this to me in the future, I can say ‘old news, I posted it on BMEWS’.

Kinda rhymes, doesn’t it?

An Obituary printed in the London Times - Interesting and sadly, rather
true.

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has
been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his
birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be
remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
- Why the early bird gets the worm;
- Life isn’t always fair;
- and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more
than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in
charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but
overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy
charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from
school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding
an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job
that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent
to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform
parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and
criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar
in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to
realise that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her
lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his
wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;
I Know My Rights
I Want It Now
Someone Else Is To Blame
I’m A Victim

Hey peiper, I missed this. Says it was in the Times. Did you miss it too?


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Posted by Christopher   United States  on 10/10/2010 at 05:39 PM   
Filed Under: • CULTURE IN DECLINEHumorSatire •  
Comments (3) Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

calendar   Thursday - August 26, 2010

I love cats

By now the whole world, even pre-historic headhunting tribes in the Amazon basin, must have heard of

The woman caught on video dumping a cat in a trash bin in Coventry, England

AKA: “ ‘That’ Woman From Coventry” (sung to the tune of My Woman From Tokyo by Deep Purple.) Yes, I’m showing my age and utter lack of taste in music.

I love cats. So idiocy like this tends to spin me up a wall.

See More Below The Fold

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Posted by Christopher   United States  on 08/26/2010 at 12:33 AM   
Filed Under: • Satire •  
Comments (7) Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

calendar   Sunday - June 06, 2010

Obama’s Question?

Honestly, some people have far too much time on their hands.

Some have time to create this crap.

I’ve time to find it.

Very sad…

It occurs to me that if B. Hussein Obama wants to keep his past shrouded in secrecy that creates a void. A vacuum. Nature abhors a vacuum. So we are free to fill in the blanks!

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Posted by Christopher   United States  on 06/06/2010 at 04:20 PM   
Filed Under: • CelebritiesDemocrats-Liberals-Moonbat LeftistsObama, The OneSatire •  
Comments (1) Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

calendar   Friday - March 12, 2010

‘The Wreck of the… uh… Barack Hussein?’

Lisa Farizio owes Gordon Lightfoot an apology.

The legend lives on from old Honest Abe on down
Of the group that they call “Grand Old Party.”
The media it’s said gave her up for half dead
Though in truth she is still hale and hearty.
But in two-thousand eight she fell under the great weight
Of a candidate too weak to steer her.
That good ship and true failed in states that were blue
When the gales of November came callin’.

See More Below The Fold

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Posted by Christopher   United States  on 03/12/2010 at 03:34 AM   
Filed Under: • Fun-StuffHumorSatire •  
Comments (5) Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

calendar   Tuesday - March 02, 2010

Trust me.  This really is funny. Especially for the folks on this side of the Atlantic.

Hey Drew, this is Littlejohn’s take on things here. See, it could be worse. At least back home we have more hills we can take to.

The year is 2015, the Queen leaves and the left wing PM becomes PM for life. And everything of course has an American tie in because the left is never responsible for anything wrong headed.  Course not. It starts in America.

In March 2015, the number of British citizens seeking asylum abroad overtook the number of people claiming asylum in Britain.

I’m not certain if our friends Chris and Lyndon will see the humor or maybe break out in tears and say it’s gonna happen.

Anyway, Littlejohn is quite conservative as I hope you all know. He is also brilliant.

Something else to inform friends in the USA.  Of all the presidents we have had and of all the criticism of any of them, with the possible exception of Barry Obama, I don’t think any politician in modern times has been as badly beaten up by the press and the man on the street as has Gordon Brown. In fact,, I think he’s been beaten up more then Obama.  Now that has to tell you something.


Brown’s Britain 2015 and even the Queen has fled

Richard Littlejohn
Daily Mail

Dateline: London, March 1, 2015

The State of Emergency introduced in May 2010 is to be extended for another five years, Prime Minister-for-Life Gordon Brown announced in London yesterday.

Such was the scale of the crisis facing the country that a General Election could only lead to instability.

Labour would continue in power indefinitely, Brown pledged. He was getting on with the job, taking the difficult decisions, which is what people wanted him to do.

This was no time for a novice, the Prime Minister-for-Life insisted. The people had spoken when they rejected the Etonian salesman Cameron in May 2010. There was no need for a fresh mandate.

Even though the Conservatives won the popular vote and became the largest party at Westminster, they failed to secure an overall majority in the Commons, as a result of boundary changes introduced by Labour.

For almost a week after the results were declared, Brown refused to leave Number 10 Downing Street. The only evidence that someone was still inside was the fusillade of mobile phones and computer keyboards being thrown out of the windows.

Eventually, he put out a deranged statement on YouTube in which he blamed the election result on the low turn-out caused by the worst winter weather in 30 years, which began in America.

When the Queen invited him to the Palace to ask for his resignation, he declined on the grounds that Sarah was washing her hair that day. He was getting on with the job, taking the difficult decisions, which is what people wanted him to do.

Several days later, Brown announced via Twitter that he intended to form a government of national unity. Although his initial overtures to the LibDems to join a coalition were rejected, Nick Clegg relented when Brown promised to introduce a full system of proportional representation during the lifetime of the Parliament.

In his first Budget, the new Chancellor Ed Balls said that Labour planned to increase ‘investment’ by £100 billion a year to stave off recession, which started in America.

This would include an immediate expansion of the council house building programme to accommodate the ten million extra immigrants expected to arrive in the next decade, as well as hundreds of thousands more unmarried, teenage mothers living on welfare.

Hedge fund managers and most of the City of London had already decamped abroad to avoid penal rates of taxation.

They were followed in quick succession by thousands of British plumbers and bricklayers, who decided to seek a better life in Poland.

The financial markets went into meltdown. When the pound plunged to parity with the Zimbabwean dollar, the IMF cut off Britain’s line of credit.

He claimed that he had the authority, since the threat from the economic crisis, which began in America, was at least as great as that posed by the Nazis in 1939, or his name wasn’t Winston Churchill.

As Britain was now a full province of the European Union, pursuant to a little-known clause hidden in the small print of the Lisbon Treaty, Parliament was abolished.

That was when Brown declared himself Prime Minister-for-Life. His position was endorsed by the new President-in-Perpetuity of Europe, Lord Mandelson, speaking from his official suite on board a Russian yacht off Corfu.

Protesters who tried to storm Downing Street were repelled by three divisions of the European Defence Force, under the command of an EU Reichsmarschall from the 17th Panzer Division, now garrisoned at Aldershot.

Six months later, Argentina invaded the Falklands again. This time the Argentines were welcomed with open arms. The islanders were so disillusioned with events back ‘home’ that they said they were ashamed to be British.

When Brown phoned the White House to ask for help, President Obama refused to take his call, on account of the fact he was playing golf with Tiger Woods.

With the Government distracted by the invasion overseas and by the food riots at home, Bradford, Leicester and Blackburn unilaterally declared that they were now independent Islamic states operating under Sharia law.

HERE FOR ALL OF IT


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Posted by peiper   United Kingdom  on 03/02/2010 at 08:43 PM   
Filed Under: • GovernmentHumorSatire •  
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calendar   Sunday - November 01, 2009

Weekend funnies

Proof of Global Warming

(I might add, not proof that such global warming is anthropological. Possibly gynecological. Which would mean… It’s the woman’s fault. As usual.)

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I know it’s Halloween. Even so, this is probably not safe for work, or dinner: How much liquor would it take?

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Oh yes, did you miss the Global Warming Protest?

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The rest of this post is possibly NSFW. If you find any of these offensive for other reasons, see your psychiatrist.

See More Below The Fold

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Posted by Christopher   United States  on 11/01/2009 at 04:40 AM   
Filed Under: • HumorSatire •  
Comments (1) Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

calendar   Saturday - March 07, 2009

Title, title, BWAHAHAHA!!!!

I don’t remember where I found this. I posted it on my personal blog a few days ago.

Well, I watched it again. And I thought: ‘This is worthy of BMEWS’. Now, you can probably take that a couple of different ways. I prefer to think that the average BMEWS reader appreciates sick, disparaging, humor. You know, the kind of stuff that passes as news in the UK Telegraph. (right peiper?)

So, here you go. (rolls saving throw… misses… damn!)


Are Violent Video Games Adequately Preparing Children For The Apocalypse?


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Posted by Christopher   United States  on 03/07/2009 at 01:42 PM   
Filed Under: • Satire •  
Comments (9) Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

calendar   Wednesday - October 15, 2008

Sarah Palin dives in poll ratings, and msm in USA are not biased, reports The Telegraph.

And ya read it here.  Unless you caught it all back home in US.

It may hurt but there’s no way to ignore this reporting on American elections from the Brit side.
Honestly, and yes I know I’m being cowardly, I so far have avoided watching the other parodies of Mrs. Palin. I saw the first and yes it was funny.
I might get the nerve to see the others. Not really sure I want to.  It’s nice and warm and secure here in the sand.

Sarah Palin dives in poll ratings as Tina Fey impersonates her on Saturday Night Live
It has broken Sarah Palin’s spell and could decide the next president. As Obama and McCain square up for Wednesday’s final debate, Neil Midgley explains how US TV entertains, informs and influences voters in a way that would be unthinkable in Britain.

By Neil Midgley
Last Updated: 9:05AM BST 15 Oct 2008

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Three weeks from now, Sarah Palin may be the Vice-President elect of the United States of America. But today, few people would call her the most powerful woman in American politics.

Arguably, that honour doesn’t go to former presidential candidate Hillary Clinton or House Speaker Nancy Pelosi either. Today, the most influential woman in America is probably Tina Fey – a television comedienne.

Since Palin’s nomination as Republican John McCain’s running mate for the White House, Fey has mercilessly and relentlessly impersonated her on NBC’s late-night satirical show Saturday Night Live (SNL).

Fey’s physical resemblance to Palin is uncanny, and Fey has an equally spooky knack of replicating the Alaska governor’s near-Canadian accent.

In public, Palin has taken Fey’s mockery in good part. But Palin’s poll ratings are telling a more devastating story.

In a Newsweek poll in September, voters were asked whether Palin was qualified or unqualified to be president. The result was a near dead-heat. In the same poll this month, those saying she was “unqualified” outnumbered those saying she was “qualified” by a massive 16 points.


Some of Fey’s best satire has come straight from Palin’s own unforced errors.

At the end of last month, Palin was interviewed by Katie Couric, the main news anchor for the CBS television network.

Couric asked Palin whether the $700 billion for the Wall Street bail-out, which had at that point not been approved by Congress, might be better spent helping out middle-class families.

Palin replied: “That’s why I say I, like every American I’m speaking with, we’re ill about this position that we have been put in where it is the taxpayers looking to bail out.

“But ultimately what the bail-out does is help those who are concerned about the healthcare reform that is needed to help shore up our economy. Helping the – it’s got to be all about job creation too, shoring up our economy and putting it back on the right track.

She went on: “So health care reform and reducing taxes and reining in spending has got to accompany tax reductions and tax relief for Americans and trade – we’ve got to see trade as opportunity, not as a competitive, scary thing, but one in five jobs being created in the trade sector today – we’ve got to look at that as more opportunity.”

That babbling response was a gift for Couric, but an even bigger one for Fey the following Saturday. Repeating Palin almost verbatim gave Fey her most powerful line so far.

Thanks to Fey, SNL is defying gravity. While other television shows continue to lose viewers, its ratings are up 50 per cent this autumn – despite the fact that it is now in its 34th season. It currently commands 10 million viewers – a creditable figure for a primetime drama, let alone a late-night sketch show.

NBC has given it an extra slot on Thursday nights. And its success in feeding off serious anchors such as Couric highlights just how powerful a force television has become in deciding this presidential election.

Other satirical shows, such as The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and The Colbert Report, are also enjoying record ratings, as well as influence far beyond their own viewers.

Stewart’s combination of comic monologue, fake news reports and genuine celebrity guests (such as Michelle Obama and Tony Blair) has gained him a cult following both in the US and here, where the show airs on the digital channel More4.

Even bigger than Saturday Night Live have been the presidential and vice-presidential debates. Sarah Palin’s set-to with Joe Biden on October 2 attracted nearly 70 million viewers – a record for a vice-presidential debate and the highest-rated election debate since 1992.

Presidential candidates Obama and McCain only managed 63 million, but even that is a massive number. To put it in context, this year’s American Idol finale – one of the highest-rated shows in the calendar – had 32 million viewers.

It is impossible to imagine a similar level of engagement with political television in this country. Gordon Brown and David Cameron would not only have to debate each other on TV – an unlikely scenario in itself – but pull in an audience bigger than the finals of Britain’s Got Talent and Strictly Come Dancing put together.

American networks do have some advantages over the BBC and ITV in planning and executing their political coverage.

Presidential elections happen on a rigid four-year timetable, avoiding the unholy scramble when a British general election is called at a month’s notice.

That allows the networks to engage with the process much earlier on – not least with their Sunday morning political talk shows.

“Two years ago, the then-potential candidates were making their pitstops on [NBC Sunday morning show] Meet the Press,” says Brian Stelter, a media reporter for the New York Times and the lead contributor to that newspaper’s TV Decoder blog. “In some ways, those shows are really try-outs.”

British TV channels also labour under Ofcom’s impartiality requirements, which bar the kind of opinion-led political shows that litter America’s cable news channels.

Every weeknight, there is a primetime battle between Fox News’s legendary conservative Bill O’Reilly, and firebrand liberal Keith Olbermann, whose show airs on NBC’s cable news spin-off channel MSNBC.

Olbermann calls O’Reilly “Billo the Clown”; O’Reilly glories in the fact that Fox gets higher ratings than MSNBC.

The BBC News channel and Sky News could never engage in such playground antics, no matter how entertaining – not least because they could distort the outcome of elections.

“I think we’re learning what it means to have opinion journalism in this country on such a grand scale,” says Stelter. “It’s only in the last six to 12 months that those lines have hardened between Fox and MSNBC. I think the [ratings] numbers for cable have surprised people.

“Cable, which is a niche offering, is in some cases beating some of the big broadcasting networks. I think that shows that people are looking for different stripes of political news.”

American political TV certainly is polarised. When Governor Palin attacked the media in her speech at the Republican convention last month, the crowd chanted “NBC”.

Gwen Ifill, a respected anchor on the non-commercial channel PBS, who moderated the vice-presidential debate, saw her impartiality attacked because she is writing a book about African-American politics that mentions Obama in its title.

Yet despite the Wild-West flavour of some shows, America’s networks comprehensively outstrip this country in both volume and quality of political coverage.

All three major US networks – ABC, CBS and NBC – offer a large amount of serious (and unbiased) political coverage, both in their evening network newscasts and in their morning equivalents of GMTV. All three have Sunday morning political talk shows.

(and here we conservative folks have been thinking how biased those innocents are. silly us. )

By contrast, ITV has almost abandoned politics, and Channel 4 offers precious little political coverage outside Channel 4 News (and, occasionally, Dispatches).

The BBC still wheels out politics on Sunday mornings, but Andrew Marr’s show is very soft and The Politics Show, with its heavy regional component, often seems like a box-ticking exercise by the corporation.

Michael Portillo and Diane Abbott, BBC1’s late-night political Punch and Judy, would seem dangerously flippant among NBC’s line-up of heavyweight political pundits.

Even more worryingly, political television gets no support from Ofcom’s ongoing review of public service broadcasting (PSB), which will likely mutate into government policy early next year.

The regulator appears so obsessed by preserving regional news on ITV, and so charmed by Channel 4’s bid for public funding, that it will allow the broadcasters’ coverage of national politics to drift.

Unlike science, arts, and history, political television does not get a separate mention from news and current affairs in Ofcom’s definition of PSB; the word “democracy” did not appear once in the regulator’s latest 155-page report.

Impartiality and the public service ethos hardly characterise Tina Fey’s performances. Tonight’s presidential debate forms part of a series driven largely by commercial networks, not publicly funded channels. Neither Fox News nor MSNBC was set up as a sop to a regulator.

Yet if Lord Reith were alive today, he’d see more education, information and entertainment about politics in US television than on the BBC.

Can we learn something from our American cousins? As Sarah Palin erself might say, “Darn right, doggone it, you betcha!”

http://tinyurl.com/3nygoz

That link will also take you to all the Tina Fey parodies. 


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Posted by Drew458   United Kingdom  on 10/15/2008 at 07:38 AM   
Filed Under: • Blog StuffMiscellaneousSatireTelevision •  
Comments (3) Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

calendar   Tuesday - October 07, 2008

Apologies to Dr. Suess

Uncle Sam and Congress-man

That Uncle Sam!
That Congress-man!
We do not like your bailout plan!
We do not like your taxing plan!

Should we pay so stocks don’t tank?
Should we pay for Barney Frank?

We should not pay so stocks won’t tank.
We should not pay for greedy banks.
We do not like your bailout plan,
We should not pay it, Congress-man.

Mr. Paulson made a call
For a plan to soak us all.

Could you, would you Mr. Bush,
Could you, would you push, push, push?

We should not pay you, Mr. Bush,
So Mae won’t fall upon her tush.

We should not pay you, AIG,
Though you ask on bended knee.
We should not pay you, Freddie Mac,
Just to lighten up your pack.
We should not pay for any bank,
Even one that’s in the tank.

We should not pay for umpteen years
Just because the market fears.
We do not like your bailout plan.
We do not like it, Uncle Sam.

We should not pay you, Mr. Raines,
You, the source of all our pains.
Franklin Raines don’t give a hoot,
He got a golden parachute.

This bailout plan sure is working well. The Dow closed under 10,000 yesterday. Thanks Congress.

See More Below The Fold

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Posted by Christopher   United States  on 10/07/2008 at 11:24 AM   
Filed Under: • EconomicsFinance and InvestingSatireTaxes •  
Comments (1) Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  
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a small explanation
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Tracked at yerba mate gourd
Find here top quality how to prepare yerba mate without a gourd that's available in addition at the best price. Get it now!
On: 07/09/17 07:07

The Real Stuff
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Tracked at Candy Blog
[...] LAWS OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA AND ALL PARTIES IRREVOCABLY SUBMIT TO THE J [...]
On: 06/11/17 10:40

when rape isn't rape but only sexual assault
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Tracked at Trouser Blog
[...] took another century of Inquisition and repression to completely eradicate the [...]
On: 06/07/17 03:37



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Allanspacer

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Not that very many people ever read this far down, but this blog was the creation of Allan Kelly and his friend Vilmar. Vilmar moved on to his own blog some time ago, and Allan ran this place alone until his sudden and unexpected death partway through 2006. We all miss him. A lot. Even though he is gone this site will always still be more than a little bit his. We who are left to carry on the BMEWS tradition owe him a great debt of gratitude, and we hope to be able to pay that back by following his last advice to us all:
  1. Keep a firm grasp of Right and Wrong
  2. Stay involved with government on every level and don't let those bastards get away with a thing
  3. Use every legal means to defend yourself in the event of real internal trouble, and, most importantly:
  4. Keep talking to each other, whether here or elsewhere
It's been a long strange trip without you Skipper, but thanks for pointing us in the right direction and giving us a swift kick in the behind to get us going. Keep lookin' down on us, will ya? Thanks.

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Oh, and here's some kind of visitor flag counter thingy. Hey, all the cool blogs have one, so I should too. The Visitors Online thingy up at the top doesn't count anything, but it looks neat. It had better, since I paid actual money for it.
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