Wednesday - February 01, 2012

I NEED A BIGGER TARBRUSH redux

I’d like to weigh in on ‘racism’.

Bullshit.

Sorry, but I’m one of these people who remember MLK’s speech “…not the color of their skin, but the content of their character.”

Allow me to show you my family:

Actually, I’m not certain who’s on First. I think that’s Michael, next is my sister Michelle, next is Rachel, (Mother of my niece Erika, that I just posted about), Next is half-sister Laura, Then Anthony Johnson…

Anthony Scott Johnson (born October 25, 1967 in Indianapolis, Indiana) is a former professional American football running back for eleven seasons in the National Football League for the Indianapolis Colts, the New York Jets, the Chicago Bears, the Carolina Panthers, and the Jacksonville Jaguars. Johnson now ministers as the chaplain to the Jacksonville Jaguars. He attended Stanley Clark School, and then played high school football at John Adams High School, where his jersey is still on display. He also played college football at Notre Dame.

My point? Not a racist. However, you better behave!

Have to admit one regret… there was a time I could carry Michael and Anthony under both arms. They’re way too big for that anymore!

Posted by Christopher     on 02/01/2012 at 10:57 PM   
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   Tuesday - August 23, 2011

Another old photo

I’ll not repeat my experiment of asking ‘who is this’ again. I’ve just been going through my photos and I wanted to share this one with BMEWS. Not sure of the year, but I am sure I was either in college or off in the Navy.

Two of the hottest women I know. Shame they’re my sisters.

Posted by Christopher     on 08/23/2011 at 11:36 AM   
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   Friday - August 12, 2011

Wisdom from your elders

Honest. I was talking to my uncle on Facebook…

Uncle Pat: OMG, tonight in the 50’s, I’m gonna need a blanket…

Christopher: Uncle Pat, what you need is a woman… and maybe a blanket.

Uncle Pat: Chris, blankets are easy to spread and you can always get a new one

Posted by Christopher     on 08/12/2011 at 08:16 AM   
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How to have make-up sex

This is a PSA (pubic service announcement. Public, I meant public! Geesh. You can edit that out, right? No problem)

Posted by Christopher     on 08/12/2011 at 07:00 AM   
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   Monday - July 25, 2011

Woman! Thy Name is Stupid!

I guess I’ll have to explain that title. We all know that women are wonderful! We celebrate–Viva la differance!. Sorry, my spell-checker caught that too. The French can’t spell worth a damn.

Anyway, I had a new roof put on last year. This morning my wife asked me to walk with her (this is never good news).

Showed me how some squirrels screwed my new roof. Paid almost $9 grand for that roof!

Bad enough. I spent the morning trying to find someone to fix it. No go. Seems we had a very bad hail storm that I never heard about, luckily it missed us. But most roofers are very busy.

Then, my wife asked me to search the internet for ideas on how to squirrel-proof the home. Well, I did so. Can’t wait for her to get home and find out the most important thing to squirrel-proof the home. The same thing I’ve told her for years!

But I’m a man and therefore stupid. She disregards the fact that I grew up on a farm and never had squirrel problems.

How to squirrel-proof your property

In this case, and the song I’ve sung to my wife for twenty years is:

# 1 Remove the squirrels’ food source. Feed pets inside only. Get rid of bird feeders. Keep garbage cans well covered.

So she’s refused to believe me. She leaves bowls of cat food on the front and back porch. All it does is attract raccoons, opossums, squirrels, and lately, a skunk. I forgot to mention starlings. All of the above love cat food, and my wife is still refusing to believe that a bowl of cat food every day has caused the squirrels to nest in my brand new roof.

I’d call her a stupid woman, but that would be redundant! (wardmama is exempt. She’s not stupid, and I’m fairly certain she’s female. Despite that, I think she probably listens to her husband.)

What’s my point? Why is it that some females think their husbands don’t know anything? My wife did the same thing a few years ago: she bought a bale of hay and stuck it under our living room overhang. ‘For the poor kitty-kats’ she said. I pointed out that all she was doing was to make a nice, warm place for termites.  Guess what? 2 years and $500 later, we got rid of the termites!

Posted by Christopher     on 07/25/2011 at 11:04 AM   
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   Monday - April 25, 2011

I made it

It’s been a very stressful 2 days for us here. Had to get the MIL down to Sloan Kettering in New York City for cancer testing. Getting the logistics squared away was a real hassle, but we managed, although Easter celebration got tossed aside this year. I had to sleep in her mostly finished attic Sunday night, somehow both sweating and freezing at the same time all night long. Almost no sleep. Up before dawn to get out the door, cram 5 people into the car, including both worried daughters, and get onto the highway. All I can say is Thank God for Easter Monday, a “holiday” I didn’t even know existed, but which kept half a million or so cars from commuting in this morning. So the drive wasn’t too bad at all. Made mid-town on time. $50 to park for 7 hours. Horry clap. Sat in 5 different waiting rooms drinking hospital coffee all day, going from doctor to doctor. Got her in front of a bunch of top doctors, got some proper tests run, have to go to another one of their centers next Thursday for more of this. Maybe SIL can take that trip, and we’ll take the one after that.

The good news is that this is pretty much the best cancer diagnostic center on earth, so if she has it, they’ll find it and devise a plan. And if they tell her she’s clean, then she’s clean and can stop worrying. And then they’ll send her to one of their other diagnostic centers to find out what’s actually wrong with her. And perhaps she’ll listen this time, because these doctors can’t really be gainsaid, unlike others we’ve dealt with. We’ve been on the hospital and testing merry-go-round for several months with her, and have been through a whole lot of stupid crap and poor medical opinions. Deal with the best, and forget the rest.

I am very tired, but this had to be done. This is just another chunk of ice off the old iceberg; caring for senior parents can get pretty demanding, and I know that many have it much worse than we do.

And next I’ll be fixing her damn shower, which is 3/4 dead, tends to scald the unwary, and doesn’t drain hardly at all. I spent the day sticky and slightly whiff because the shower was so bad I couldn’t even get a good rinse in. Or maybe I needed to shower for more than the 3 minutes I got this morning. And her water smells like satanic dog farts. WTH?? Sulfur + roadkill. Eww! That’s another thing we’ll have to look into for her. Maybe a filter or softener might be needed, maybe the water company can come and do something. At the very least she needs one of those hand held shower wand things put in. One with an On/Off valve right on the wand. Probably a new shower head, but I’ll try and keep the diverter valve assembly. Hoo boy, another project at her house. Just what I wanted.

Time for a scotch, a shower, and some sleep.

Posted by Drew458     on 04/25/2011 at 07:50 PM   
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   Sunday - April 10, 2011

A Sex-Ed story

I was just reading Dennis Prager’s column The $50,000 Orgasm. For some reason it reminded me of my first time...the first time I was introduced to ‘Sex Ed’.

You see, I never had to take ‘Sex Ed’. I took Health and Anatomy in high school. My sisters weren’t so lucky. They had to take ‘Sex Ed’.

Now BMEWS and BMEWSetts, I’m pretty certain that we could all figure sex out in the back seat of a Chevy. Especially if the movie sucked. No pun intended.

Back to my story.

So, there I was, sans a date, at a high school dance in 1977. My health teacher was one of the chaperones. We were standing together watching the action and drinking the sadly un-spiked punch. My health teacher asked me:

“Do you have a younger sister?”

“Yes. Why?”

“Is she in my Sex Ed class?”

“I think so. Why?”

“I’m still chuckling over an answer she gave on today’s test.”

“Oh?” Note how non-committal I was…

“The question was ‘what is the average amount a man ejaculates during orgasm.’”

Mind you, I’m a) 17 years old, b) we’re talking about my sister, c) who measures these things?

I fell into it. I had to ask. “What was her answer?”

“She put down ‘a half-pint’.”

I thought about this possible view into my sister’s thoughts. How could I use this? But I finally answered: “That’s my sister, always expecting more than a man can give.”

For some reason my health teacher doubled over in laughter. I was saved from further conversation by a hot cheerleader who decided she was drunk enough to dance with me.

Posted by Christopher     on 04/10/2011 at 10:38 PM   
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   Sunday - February 27, 2011

Yet another challenge facing government schools.

Honestly, you can’t––well, I couldn’t––make this stuff up! Here’s the headline:

You can lead kids to broccoli, but you can’t make them eat

Students’ reaction to healthier lunches highlights challenges for schools

Lunch poses a challenge? The government schools are already overwhelmed by the challenge of teaching

…reading, and ‘riting, and ‘rithmetic.
(taught to the tune of a hick’ry stick!)

No, the government schools, and by extension, the teachers’ union, can’t teach reading, and writing, and arithmetic. So, with the help and approval of Moochelle Obama, the wife of the First Mongrel, the schools are now going to teach the kids what to eat. Chicago is leading the way, but, like Obama trying to force lead the rest of us into the heaven-on-Earth promises of ObamaCare, the Chicago schools are having problems forcing cajoling kids to eat what the elite want them to eat.

Anyone who has ever tried to sneak healthy food into kids’ lunches knows what Chicago Public Schools is going through.

Sometimes kids openly embrace the new food. Sometimes they eat it without realizing the difference. And sometimes they refuse it altogether.

CPS has met with all three reactions this school year, when it stopped serving daily nachos, Pop-Tarts and doughnuts and introduced healthier options at breakfast and lunch. But in a sign of how challenging this transition can be for schools, district figures show that lunch sales for September through December dropped by about 5 percentage points since the previous year, or more than 20,000 lunches a day.

Surprised? I actually am. My parents never tried to ‘sneak’ healthy food into any meal. They just said ‘eat what’s on your plate.’ ‘No, you can’t have seconds of anything until you eat what’s on your plate.’ Unlike Gollum or the Government, my parents weren’t ‘sneaks.’ (I’m also surprised at having Pop-Tarts on the menu. When did that happen? Donuts? When I was in school you could buy an eclair, or cheesecake, or fruit Jello. No donuts.)

So, sales are down 5%. Why is this bad?

Posted by Christopher     on 02/27/2011 at 04:32 PM   
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   Thursday - February 24, 2011

mothers and daughters.  mom’s the eye candy though. not these days maybe but she once was.

I wasn’t thinking Eye Candy when I came across this.  I didn’t know who she was, I have never seen her in a movie which is no surprise since I stopped going years ago. Never heard of her, but apparently she’s employed and known to some and so I guess it’s also a generational thing.

I did hunt for more but most of the photos I found did this lady no favors at all. This color shot is the best one I could find. I admit I got tired of looking and quit after awhile.  ah huh. Just watch this space. Drew will find something only he and heaven will share the source, and it’ll be gangbusters.

Now then ... I wasn’t going to pursue the subject until I discovered who her mommy is. Ah now. Talk about generational. I’m a year older then mommy which put mom at 72. Yikes.  My heartthrob, 72?  The woman who made me dream about her. 72? 

Here’s another shot of the daughter. In this one she sort of resembles mom. I hope she has her mother’s talent cos I hate to say it but she doesn’t have her mother’s looks. And after all, her mom was a former Bond girl. Hard act to follow.

Her name is Rachael Stirling.

Here’s mommy at a fairly young age and I think you’ll recognize her.

You recognized her I know. If you didn’t ....  here’s ...

DIANA RIGG

And of course the TV show ... The Avengers.  Honor Blackman was the first Emma Peel but Rigg was the best and the sexiest.

Just thought I’d share.

Posted by peiper     on 02/24/2011 at 02:11 PM   
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   Sunday - February 13, 2011

Packers Fans

A little email update on our two feathered friends down there in hill country.

They’ve been in their bad weather inside duck bin for most of the past month – too cold and their kiddie pool is frozen solid.  I hear there is rumor of 50 and 60 degree weather just a few days away – they will definitely be swimming like hell when the weather breaks.  They watched and rooted for the Green Bay Packers with me at the Super Bowl, too. 



“Nothing scores higher in ‘awww’ factor than baby ducks.  If you attempt to sway my decision in this matter – I’ll be forced to kill off whatever you suggest as the alternative.”
(Cattywumpus, USA: Unpublished Chronicles of Thots Whilst Shaving)

Of course Harold and Skokie (the two ducks) are Packers fans: they have the team colors built right in!



It hasn’t been a good year so far for Miss Autumn, our champion coyote eliminator. She lost her father in law, a WWII veteran, to high speed cancer and poor hospital care in late January. The end is also part of the circle, but that doesn’t make it any easier.



But I am having a nice moment in my mind, imagining what an indoor bad weather duck bin would look like. I’m thinking either some kind of brightly painted large toy box off in one corner with a small puddle leaking out, or one of those old time artfully perforated tin storage boxes up on a closet shelf in the kitchen. Either way, faint and questionable quacks can be heard. Quack. “Hey, remember us?” Quack. “Um, it’s dark in here!” Quack. “Is the game on yet?” Not to worry though; I know for a fact that her puddle ducks are more cuddle ducks than anything. And aren’t their baby pictures just too cute for words?

Posted by Drew458     on 02/13/2011 at 09:19 AM   
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   Friday - December 03, 2010

hey daddy, I want a brand new car, champaign, caviar … DADDY, you oughta get the best for me

Just a kind of human interest story. 

Hey, Daddy, I want a diamond ring, bracelets, everything
Daddy, you oughta get the best for me

Hey, Daddy, gee, don’t I look swell in sables?
Clothes with Paris labels?
Daddy, you oughta get the best for me
(words and music, Bobby Troup, 1941)

Original recording by Sammy Kaye
HERE

Not bad for a 22-year-old: F1 mogul Bernie Ecclestone’s daughter Petra to buy £66m house

By Richard Kay

The estate agent’s blurb called it a ‘trophy property’ that should appeal to a ‘Russian oligarch, a Hollywood star or a sheik’.

And if that was not enough, the £79million price tag should cut out the average first-time buyer.

Now, nearly 18 months after JCB digger tycoon Sir Anthony Bamford put his Grade II-listed pile in Chelsea, west London, on the market - at a £34million mark up on what he paid for it four years earlier - he has at last found a suitable purchaser… though you couldn’t find anyone less like an oil sheik.

The buyer is also rather prettier and younger than your average oligarch. Step forward Formula 1 boss Bernie Ecclestone’s stunning younger daughter, Petra.

At 22, the model-turned-fashion-designer has been living with her long-term businessman boyfriend, James Stunt, in a seven-storey house in Eaton Square, Belgravia.

The fact that her new abode boasts up to 14 bedrooms is undaunting for her — a visitor to Eaton Square noticed her dressing room took up an entire floor.

The house she is buying, which includes a lodge next door, is set back from the road and boasts six reception rooms and ten bathrooms. Plenty of room, then, for James, 28, and his cellar of fine wines — he has a collection of Petrus spanning the great vintages of 1945 to 2005, worth £150,000.

Petra’s four dogs — two bulldogs, a boxer and a cavalier King Charles spaniel — will also have plenty of room to share.

The house, close to the London home of royal fiancee Kate Middleton, is being marketed by Beauchamp Estates in Mayfair.

With its own drive, a huge frontage and with planning permission for an underground swimming pool and gym already granted, it is said to be the most valuable property in Chelsea.

Sir Anthony and his wife Carole bought the mansion from Lebanese businessman Ely Calil in 2006 for £45million.

MORE OF INTEREST HERE, AND SEE HER OTHER HOUSE

Posted by peiper     on 12/03/2010 at 10:20 AM   
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   Tuesday - August 03, 2010

A Special Book

I’ve always loved books. At least since my public school teachers taught me how to read. (caveat: Mom had a lot to do with teaching me to read. )

Nowadays I don’t have cable TV.  My wife constantly comes home with stories of how we are ‘weird’. Yet we manage to save mucho dinero and give our local public library lots of business.

One of my all-time favorite movies is The Princess Bride. I’d almost forgotten the ‘prologue’ of the movie. Grandpa brought a ‘special book’.

I used to read to my granddaughter. She’d pick a book, settle herself on my lap, and imperiously proclaim ‘Read Me’.

So, I’d ‘read her’.

I’ve used this in my marriage. We now spend time reading to each other instead of watching TV. 

Posted by Christopher     on 08/03/2010 at 09:59 AM   
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   Sunday - August 01, 2010

Breast-feeding at the Y…M…C…A…

H/T OldCatMan

OCM quotes the article without giving a link. I found a link to an article covering this event here. But go to OCM’s blog. He’s got interesting audio/visual coverage.

Elizabeth Gomez , a mother of three from Medford, said she was told by a Y employee to leave the baby-sitting area of the North Suburban YMCA after starting to breast-feed her three-month old son earlier this week.

“She said there is no eating or drinking within the (babysitting) area,” Gomez, 36, said in an interview Thursday. “She told me I had to go out into the hallway . . . I said ‘I have a lawful right to be here.”

I’m… well, not sure if ‘appalled’ is the right word. ‘Flabbergasted’? Yeah, I’m flabbergasted that:

A) anyone would use that against a breast-feeding mother. This was the baby-sitting area. Would it have been okay to give a baby a bottle? Rules against eating and drinking target unwrapped food and open beverages for sanitary reasons. I’ve never heard such rules used against baby bottles or, in this case, breasts.

B) “I have a lawful right to be here.” True and sad. Massachusetts actually had to pass a law to allow women to breast-feed? That’s sad. Just because breasts have a secondary use as play toys for boys doesn’t mean there’s anything immoral about breast-feeding in a public place.

A state law protects mothers who breast-feed in public. It states that a mother, “may breastfeed her child in any public place which is open to . . . the general public,” and where the mother and child are lawfully present.

A spokeswoman for the Massachusetts Breastfeeding Coalition, which pushed for passage of the state law, said the Y incident is an example of how employers don’t understand the state law, which has been on the books since April, 2009.

“Breastfeeding is not the same as opening up a lunch box with apples, bananas, and crumbs that are going to fall onto the floor,” said Marsha Walker, a board member of the nonprofit coalition based in Weston. “Breastfeeding is nutrition, but it’s a little different because a mother has to provide it.”

Q.E.D. I’m not actually shilling for breast-feeding, but I do wish people wouldn’t go nuts over a natural mother-child interaction.

Posted by Christopher     on 08/01/2010 at 08:48 AM   
Filed Under: • CULTURE IN DECLINE • Family • Insanity •  
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   Saturday - May 15, 2010

Waldo Spotting

Jay Jay
PeiperD PeiperD
Weatherby George Dupree
Took great care of his missus
Though he was seventy three
Jay Jay said to his missus,
“Missus” he said, said he;
“You must never go down
To that hot desert town
If you don’t go down with me!”



The Peiper has resurfaced. The two of them are out in Palm Desert CA for an extended vacation. He is doing his best to make up for time lost while living abroad by watching several baseball games a day ("The Dodgers” he writes, “Da Bums!!") and stuffing his face with local food. Screw the waistline, it’s time to eat.

He is living without a computer, without internet, and feeling it badly. BWS. Blog Withdrawal Syndrome. It’s like quitting smoking. Worse. Says he might be forced to get some basic PC just to be in touch with the world.

So he sent me an “analog post” - a handwritten letter, in which he worries about the elections in Britain, that fink Cameron who blew a 20 point lead which let too many from Labour in, what atrocity the EU is up to today, and he’s right POed that the USA (via the IMF) is bailing out Greece. 20% of Greece works for the government, he says, and many of those jobs are sinecures - no show jobs that come with a paycheck and a pension!! - while having an actual job on the side. With the gravy train derailed, The Peasants Are Revolting. [you can say that again!]

On the other hand he is joyfully agog at having an American washing machine and an American clothes dryer once again. I gather that in England both devices are built into the same machine, and not only is it half the size, it does neither task very well at all. Go figure.

Desert life is forcing the two of them to get up and about extra early, so that they can have their errands out of the way before the heat gets too intense. Smart move.

If I read between the lines properly, I think it’s their plan to be there until the fall. He writes that it’s going to be hard to go back to England in a few months ... my guess is that it will be harder than he thinks, as I’m sure that the gyppos moved into their place the moment they drove away. Probably 3 caravans on pads in his backyard already, and a basement hockshop selling stolen goods. But at least this time he’s going back with a proper frying pan for making proper American breakfast pancakes [not the English after dinner kind], and a whole case of Bisquick too I hope.

And of course he’s angry at everyone who is angry at Arizona. Good. Just because he’s taking a trip to the Left side of the country doesn’t mean he’s lost what is Right.

So I’m going to get a card off to the two of them very soon ... probably Tuesday ... and will add in any comments or messages y’all have.

Posted by Drew458     on 05/15/2010 at 03:43 PM   
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