Thursday - November 02, 2006

Phallic Fantasies

Aussie “Wonderjock” Shows Size Really Does Count
_{SYDNEY (Reuters) - Thu Nov 2, 2006 3:51 AM GMT137}

Size really does count, just ask Australian underwear maker AussieBum which has just launched the “Wonderjock” for men who want to look bigger. Since the launch seven days ago, AussieBum says it has sold 50,000 pairs of “Wonderjock”, mostly on its Web site http://www.aussiebum.com and a handful of stores around the world.

“The design of the underwear separates and lifts. The fabric cup protrudes everything out in front instead of down towards the ground,” said “Wonderjock” designer Sean Ashby. “There is no padding, rings or strings,” said Ashby, a co-founder of the Internet-based AussieBum firm.

Ashby said the idea for the “Wonderjock” was the result of online feedback from customers who expressed an interest in looking bigger, just like women using the “Wonderbra”.

“When you go to a department store to buy underwear you usually get a grandmother serving, which is not the ideal way to get feedback,” said Ashby. “Our customers give us feedback. We didn’t realise that big is better.”

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/02/2006 at 08:26 AM   
Filed Under: • Fun-Stuff • Odd-Strange •  
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   Sunday - October 29, 2006

Hell No!

Who On Earth Would Pay $1 Million For Hell?
_{LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Fri Oct 27, 7:35 PM ET}

No one was buying hell on Friday—or at least its red-hot Web address. HELL.com was among hundreds of Internet domain names up for auction in Hollywood, Florida, by domain asset management provider Moniker.com, a unit of marketing services firm Seevast Corp.

The owner put a minimum price of $1 million on the underworld’s domain, confident of high interest after the salacious address, Sex.com, sold for about $12 million earlier this year. But there were no takers with bids failing to reach the reserve price.

“The world is still alive and well. Nobody is going to hell right now,” Seevast Chief Executive Lance Podell told Reuters, adding that the domain would now be part of a silent auction.

Moniker was selling HELL.com on behalf of a group called BAT Flli LLC, whose founder Kenneth Aronson registered the name in 1995. It’s not the first time that Aronson has tried to sell HELL.com. He put the address on the auction block in April 2000, at a starting bid of $8 million.

In an interview with Reuters in 2000, Aronson said members of The Final.org, an enigmatic collective of digital artists and creative visionaries, were using HELL.com as a private destination for their work. According to the site, HELL.com is a “private parallel web” not accessible with a Web browser.

The auction on Friday included a list of domain names such as cameras.com, which pulled in $1.5 million. Sexeducation.com that sold for $120,000 and babies.net which went for $26,000.

Flowers.mobi, an address with the new extension for mobile devices, went for $200,000, while fun.mobi pulled in $100,000. A boom in Internet advertising driven by companies such as Google Inc. and Yahoo Inc. (Nasdaq:YHOO - news) have sent prices for sought-after domain names soaring.

Posted by The Skipper     on 10/29/2006 at 03:00 AM   
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   Thursday - October 26, 2006

Most Ridiculous Item Of The Day (so far)

This story caught my eye not just because of the ridiculous nature of the “crime” but the location. Cornelia, GA is a little-bitty pissant town of about 4,000 in Northeast Georgia ... about 30 miles southeast of where they filmed “Deliverance”. I know. I was living in the area when Burt Reynolds and crew descended on the area back in the early 70’s. In fact my oldest son was born in Toccoa, about 10 miles east of Cornelia.

To answer your next question ... yes, them mountain folk up there in them parts are a little strange. Very clannish - but basically good folks ... I got Burt Reynolds and Ned Beatty’s autograph ... but I never got to meet that banjo player. Maybe this little feller is some of his kinfolk what done drifted south out of the mountains? Now, where’d I put my guitar ... ?

10-Year-Old Charged for Making Threats to Blow Up School
CORNELIA, Georgia (FOX NEWS)
October 26, 2006

A 10-year-old boy has been charged with making a terrorist threat after threatening “blow up some teachers” and bring bombs to his elementary school, officials said.

The boy was arrested after one of the children relayed the threat to school officials and, on Oct. 20, officials and police found the student’s backpack in a classroom with two devices inside. The boy said the devices were bombs, but officials said they were not flammable or explosive.

The boy has been charged as a juvenile with four counts of making terroristic threats and two counts of possessing a destructive device. Ford said the charges. The boy’s name was not released because he is a minor.

One of the devices was described as a small glass jar containing a solid white substance and a plastic sandwich bag. The other was a candy wrapper containing a tubular piece of cardboard, about the size of an index finger, stuffed with the white solid substance, said Habersham County Board of Education Police Chief Don Ford.

The “destructive device” charge was leveled because, “If you represent it as such, then you can be charged with it,” Ford said.

Posted by The Skipper     on 10/26/2006 at 01:30 PM   
Filed Under: • Crime • Odd-Strange •  
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   Wednesday - October 25, 2006

Weird News Bytes

• Up Yours: “Police Say Suspect Hid Heroin In Body Cavity” ... it came out alright in the end.


• They’re Fighting Back This Time: “Israeli Jets Clash With German Ship Near Lebanon” ... Jews and Germans - not again!


• Who Wears Short Shorts: “City Sets Underwear Rule For Firefighters” ... is that a fire hose in your pants or are you just glad to see me?


• Hungry For Polka: “Sauerkraut Capital Is Sweet On Accordions” ... Lawrence Welk look-alikes wanted.


• Cheers, Comrade: “Russia Opens Vodka Museum” ... why not?

Posted by The Skipper     on 10/25/2006 at 12:34 PM   
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   Sunday - October 22, 2006

The Galloping Gourmet

Posted by The Skipper     on 10/22/2006 at 03:03 AM   
Filed Under: • Fine-Dining • Odd-Strange •  
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Weird News Bytes

• Want to make sure your bloodline stays pure and no foreign genes get into your family? Easy, just have sex with all of your daughters ... for seven years, creating six grandchildren before the cops close in.


• Need to escape from prison in a hurry? That’s easy too. All you need is plenty of Ex-Lax and a butter knife and before you know it the “runs” will have you on the run.


• You know that blue water in airplane toilets? Well, guess what happens when it accidentally leaves the plane at 30,000 feet above your bedroom. Did the Earth move for you too?


• What’s worse than snakes on a plane? I’m glad you asked because snakes in your rental car has to rank right up there on the list of really cool movie plots. Samuel L. Jackson doing ads for Hertz? Hey, it worked for O.J.


• DO NOT ... I repeat DO NOT ... follow this link to the story about true love between a man and his female pit bull. And I DO MEAN true love. Hint. Hint. Fortunately, the guy’s wife had a camera phone and the cops broke up the affair. PETA has been notified.


• I suppose you thought radical Muslims had reached the ultimate idiocy when they got offended over cartoons? Well, you were wrong. Now they’re upset over a 100-year-old tree and Allah has apparently commanded them to become lumberjacks. Cue up the Monty Python song. Yeah, that one.


• No list would be complete without a story of a sword-wielding robber who held up a service station and ran away without the loot. Only to return shortly and beg the attendant hiding behind now locked doors to give him his booty. There’s one born every minute.


• Finally, just when you least expect it a real love story comes along to brighten your day. It’s the heart-warming tale of Heidi and Hannibal ... and a love affair for the ages. The only problem is Heidi is a donkay and Hannibal is a gander. The birds just love a cute ass, don’t they?

Posted by The Skipper     on 10/22/2006 at 01:19 AM   
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   Saturday - October 21, 2006

Most Ridiculous Item Of The Day

I’m sorry but this latest act of idiocy from Hollywood and the entertainment industry takes the cake. I don’t approve of pirating music or movies but I’ve thought for some time that the greedy entertainment industry moguls need to get a clue. Instead of asking why people are pirating and trying to reach a compromise, they have been taking the heavy-handed approach of filing hundreds of thousands of lawsuits ... mostly against kids.

Most pirating is done in other countries anyway but they fight it by offering cheaper prices to customers overseas (as little as $2 for a DVD in China) and taking little Johnny in Iowa to court for $15,000 in damages. What’s wrong with that picture?

Why not just rethink their pricing strategy? Could movie theatre attendance be down due to ridiculously high ticket prices? How many people want to go spend two hours in a crowded theatre for $10 and watch a lousy movie? Why do DVD’s have to cost on average about $20 each?

The computer software industry went through this in the 1980’s when Microsoft Word cost over $500 and you had to save up for months to buy Lotus 1-2-3. Hackers were pirating software all over the place. Software companies wised up and cut prices, making up the difference in more sales. Software piracy dropped off almost immediately. There are still some who do it but it’s not nearly as bad as it used to be.

Movie makers and music producers are now facing the same delimma and they are responding with lawsuits, threats and now ... brainwashing Boy Scouts as told in the story below. Instead of working with their target audience they are demanding a set price for their goods.

The old adage about “charging what the market will bear” holds true still. Maybe pirates aren’t the only ones at fault here. Maybe the products are overpriced and of such low quality that a new pricing strategy needs to be worked out. It’s called “bargaining”, something buyers and sellers have been doing for thousands of years.

I can remember when everyone had huge record collections and movie theatres were packed. Back in those days you could buy a 45 RPM single for 75¢, an album cost less than $5 and movie tickets were 50¢ or less.  On top of that, the music was much better and movies were worth watching.

Be Loyal, Kind and Don’t Steal Movies
_{LOS ANGELES (AP) - October 21, 2006, 5:00 AM EDT}

A Boy Scout is trustworthy, loyal, helpful, etc., etc. He is also respectful of copyrights. Boy Scouts in the Los Angeles area will now be able to earn an activity patch for learning about the evils of downloading pirated movies and music.

The patch shows a film reel, a music CD and the international copyright symbol, a “C” enclosed in a circle. The movie industry has developed the curriculum.

“Working with the Boy Scouts of Los Angeles, we have a real opportunity to educate a new generation about how movies are made, why they are valuable, and hopefully change attitudes about intellectual property theft,” Dan Glickman, chairman of the Motion Picture Association of America, said in a statement Friday.

Scouts will be instructed in the basics of copyright law and learn how to identify five types of copyrighted works and three ways copyrighted materials may be stolen.

Scouts also must choose one activity from a list that includes visiting a movie studio to see how many people can be harmed by film piracy. They also can create public service announcements urging others not to steal movies or music.

Many of the Scouts in the Los Angeles area come from families whose members are somehow connected to the region’s sprawling entertainment industry, said Victor Zuniga, a spokesman for the Los Angeles Area Council.

The program is being introduced to the 52,000 Scouts in the Los Angeles area, with plans to offer it to other California councils early next year. The program will reach Scouts ages 6 to 21.

Unlike a merit badge, an activity patch is not required to advance in the Scouts. Instead, they are awarded for various recreational and educational activities, such as conservation or volunteering at a food bank.

Posted by The Skipper     on 10/21/2006 at 04:23 AM   
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   Friday - October 20, 2006

Politically Incorrect Bathrooms?

OK, help me out here. I don’t see what the big deal is. I’ve seen pictures of much worse, politically incorrect urinals. It’s a joke, OK? People are always coming up with ideas to keep us doofus guys from spraying down the whole bathroom. Things like this improve aim ... not to mention hand-to-eye coordination. Plus it gives us upstanding urinators something to think about besides the creepy tile wall in front if us.

The comments from the ladies protesting these “objets d’arte” are creeping me out too. They’re a wee bit too strident and angry to suit me. I’m tempted to just say ‘P--s on them’ and their stupid opinions but that would only p--s them off and I’d be thrown into Male Chauvinist Prison prior to the lynching for crimes against femininity.

Now if it were up to me I’d go after the real problem with urinals ... we need to find out who keeps leaving those big white mints in them ....

Austrian Removes ‘Sexist’ Urinals
_{VIENNA, Austria (AP) - October 19, 2006, 6:18 PM EDT}

An Austrian businessman announced Thursday that he would get rid of urinals shaped like a woman’s mouth from a public toilet near Vienna’s national opera, after facing pressure from politicians who demanded their removal.

The urinals, which are located in the “Opera Toilet,” a lavishly decorated public restroom, feature thick, lipsticked lips, a set of teeth and a bright red tongue. “We think that it’s tasteless, misogynistic and offensive,” Marianne Lackner, media spokeswoman for the Vienna Department of Women’s Affairs told The Associated Press.

The department, headed by Social Democrat Sonja Wehsely, said it was appealing to the owner’s good will, but was also exploring the possibility of legal action. Monika Vana, the Green Party’s spokeswoman for women’s affairs, also denounced the toilets, telling the Austria Press Agency that they are “sexist and inappropriate.”

“The owner thinks the idea (of the urinal) is funny,” Lackner said, adding that it seemed he was not prepared for the hostile reactions. Neuhold Gerhard, owner of the toilet’s operator Neuhold Gerhard Limited, said in an interview Thursday with Austrian public radio that he would remove the urinals.

“If there is such outrage in Austria then it’s not a problem,” he said. “We will remove them in the next 14 days.” Gerhard added that he thought it odd that public interest has only now been focused on the urinals, as they have been around for three years.

The urinals first made a splash during recent campaigns for national elections, as they were the only facility available near Austria’s National Opera. “The thing that surprises us the most,” Lackner said, “is that no man has ever said anything about this.”

Posted by The Skipper     on 10/20/2006 at 07:00 AM   
Filed Under: • Odd-Strange • Politically-Incorrect •  
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   Thursday - October 12, 2006

Late Night Spell-Checker

Posted by The Skipper     on 10/12/2006 at 11:38 PM   
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   Friday - October 06, 2006

Vent This!

See the house in the pictures below? See the lovely cactus design of the vents? What, you don’t think it looks like a cactus? Of course it is! I’d say it is probably a Saguaro cactus. Still don’t believe me? Well ... what do you think it looks like? Of course you all know this is leading up to a rip-snorting, hilarious story about two neighbors and a study in architectural design. Mheh-heh-he-he-he .....

Click “Continue Reading” for the story behind the vents on this house.

Posted by Rancino     on 10/06/2006 at 02:25 AM   
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   Tuesday - October 03, 2006

Hijack!

Turkish Jet Hijackers Surrender
_{(BBC) - Tuesday, 3 October 2006, 20:03 GMT 21:03 UK}

Two men who hijacked a Turkish airliner flying from Tirana to Istanbul have surrendered after the Boeing 737 landed at Brindisi in southern Italy. The motive for their action is unclear, with conflicting reports of either a protest against the Pope or an attempt to seek asylum in Italy. Reports say Italian fighter planes forced the airliner to land.

All the Turkish Airlines plane’s 107 passengers - including beauty contest entrants - are said to be unhurt. The hijackers were reported to have been protesting against the Pope’s planned visit to Turkey in November. However, confirming the surrender, Brindisi Police Chief Salvatore De Paolis told Reuters news agency that the two men wanted political asylum.

A Greek defence official who spoke to Reuters said the plane had entered Greek air space at 1758 (1458 GMT) and four Greek fighters had been scrambled to escort it. The Italian air force in turn sent up two F-16s to intercept the plane, and reportedly forced it to land. Both hijackers are said by Turkish media to be Turks. Candan Karlitekin, chairman of Turkish Airlines’ board of directors, said no-one had been hurt and the hijackers had apparently not threatened passengers.

Asked if the hijacking was a protest against the papal visit, Mr Karliteken told Turkish TV channel NTV: “The cockpit was told that it was a protest of this nature.” A speech by Pope Benedict XVI, in which he quoted a 14th-Century Byzantine emperor who had suggested a link between Islam and violence, sparked angry protests in Turkey and other mainly Muslim countries last month.

But Turkish television later said one of the hijackers had converted to Christianity and was a conscientious objector, Reuters reports. It said he had sent a letter to the Pope in late August, asking for his help to avoid compulsory military service in Turkey. It quoted the letter as reading: “I am a Christian and I do not want to serve in a Muslim army.”

 
 
 
Contestants in an international beauty pageant, Globe International 2006, were among the passengers, according to the Albanian event’s press spokesman. Miss India, Miss Singapore, Miss Malaysia and Miss Philippines were on the flight, the spokesman told the BBC’s Asian Network.

Posted by The Skipper     on 10/03/2006 at 03:36 PM   
Filed Under: • Middle-East • Odd-Strange • Terrorists •  
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   Sunday - October 01, 2006

Oddly Enough …

Ever wonder what people who have no social life and few brains actually do to keep themselves occupied? Me neither. However, I found out that some of them get into building really weird cars* to impress their geek friends (like the one below). Sad, but true ....

<sub>Note: if that is a PacMan car then that must be Ms. PacMan and where are the ghosts who are about to eat her alive? I’m sure some of them are reading this blog right now. Mheh-heh ....

* - Scroll to the bottom of the page in the link above and play the YouTube movie of the Barking Mad Englishman and his creative vehicles. Monty Python would be proud. No, really.</sub>

Posted by Rancino     on 10/01/2006 at 11:16 AM   
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   Friday - September 29, 2006

Most Ridiculous Item Of The Day (so far)

Between the terrorists and the normal lunatics, flying is gettin’ to be a might weird as well as dangerous. I say we bring back trains and slow ocean ships. Maybe it’s time we slowed down a little ... to allow idjits like the old man in the story below time to catch up. Whaddya think?

Airline Passengers Have Bizarre Dispute
_{MIAMI (AP) - September 29, 2006, 7:38 AM EDT}

Federal agents questioned two airline passengers Wednesday after a dispute that began when a man sprayed the person sitting next to him with perfume, authorities said.

The two men, who were not arrested, were aboard an American Airlines flight from Lima, Peru, to Miami when the confrontation took place, Miami FBI spokeswoman Judy Orihuela said.

Before the flight, the older man left his assigned seat and laid down in the aisle. He also asked for a glass of water and poured it on his head, Orihuela said. The older man, a 56-year-old Japanese national, then sat in a seat beside a jockey in his 20s, from Louisville, Ky., The Miami Herald reported.

About two hours into the flight, the older man sprayed the jockey with perfume, Orihuela said. The younger man then took out an iPod, but the older man became upset and began elbowing the younger man, Orihuela said.

“(The older man) thought it (the iPod) was not going to be good for the plane ... with all the rules on electronics,” Orihuela said. The younger man alerted the flight crew, and he and the older man were separated. The plane landed early Wednesday morning and the two men were questioned, but not arrested, Orihuela said. Neither man was immediately named.

Posted by The Skipper     on 09/29/2006 at 12:23 PM   
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   Monday - September 25, 2006

Ew!

For once in my life, I agree 100% with the munchkins at PETA. Eating cockroaches is ... like ... GROSS, dude! Everyone knows you are supposed to break out yer roach clip and SMOKE it, not chew on it. Now ... don’t bogart that joint, my friend. Pass it over to me*.

_{* - Apologies to Little Feat for stealing the lyrics of their song.}

PETA Slams Cockroach Eating Contest
_{CHICAGO, Sept. 25 (UPI)}

An animal rights organization is asking a suburban Chicago amusement park to cancel plans to hold a live cockroach-eating contest next month.

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals says it has been flooded with calls and e-mails protesting the upcoming contest at Six Flags Great America in Gurnee, Ill., the Chicago Sun-Times reports.

Last week Six Flags announced that any visitor who ate a live, three-inch Madagascar hissing cockroach at this year’s Halloween Fright Fest would receive a pass allowing them to go to the head of the line for any ride in the amusement park.

In addition to the free pass offer, Six Flags said it planned to host an open-invitation contest for those who wanted to try to break the Guinness world record for the most baked Madagascar cockroaches eaten in a single minute.

The current world record of 36 roaches was set five years ago. “We’re asking them to cancel (this) gratuitously cruel practice, which is really just a tired gag from ‘Fear Factor,’” says Jackie Vergerio, a PETA spokeswoman.

Posted by The Skipper     on 09/25/2006 at 02:42 PM   
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Not that very many people ever read this far down, but this blog was the creation of Allan Kelly and his friend Vilmar. Vilmar moved on to his own blog some time ago, and Allan ran this place alone until his sudden and unexpected death partway through 2006. We all miss him. A lot. Even though he is gone this site will always still be more than a little bit his. We who are left to carry on the BMEWS tradition owe him a great debt of gratitude, and we hope to be able to pay that back by following his last advice to us all:

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It's been a long strange trip without you Skipper, but thanks for pointing us in the right direction and giving us a swift kick in the behind to get us going. Keep lookin' down on us, will ya? Thanks.

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