Friday - October 11, 2013

Please return to previously stable operating system…Constitution 1.27

Posted by Christopher     on 10/11/2013 at 05:22 PM   
Filed Under: • Democrats-Liberals-Moonbat Leftists • Government • Humor •  
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   Wednesday - October 02, 2013

Rural Bowling

I was gonna say Redneck, but come on.

I’m watching these guys at Greed League last night, playing with their smart phones. They’ve got a couple of pictures on one of them, and they’re all passing the phone around to look.

“Wow, check out the rack on this one!”

“Nah, the other one was better. Not quite as big, but better shape.”

“Yeah, but did you see the tips? They really stuck out! Like icicles!”

“Here, check this one out. It’s got to be a 40, maybe a 42”

“You know, you can judge from the size of the head. They’re all about 8” across. So I’d say that one was a 40 at most, probably only a 38.”

“Ok, but still, that’s a helluva rack!”

Men. They’re all pigs. Right?

Wrong.

They were looking at pictures of deer. 

Posted by Drew458     on 10/02/2013 at 08:15 AM   
Filed Under: • Bowling Blogging • Humor •  
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   Thursday - September 26, 2013

12 firemen, three engines one teen stuck in a kiddie swing

Once the entire article is read, I suppose it might make some sense.  ??

I found it at NuttyNews but the link here is for the Mail which has more photos.

I thought it might be good for a quick laugh. Probably not for the girl in the swing tho.
Anyway, makes a brief (very brief) thing from my usual.

Twelve firefighters in three fire engines called to rescue teenage girl who got stuck in a SWING in local park

Girl was trapped in the child’s swing yesterday in Finsbury Park, London
Three engines, containing at least 12 firefighters, were called to deal with it
London Fire Brigade said: ‘We take anything to do with children seriously’

By Kieran Corcoran

Three fire engines and at least twelve firefighters were mobilised to rescue a teenage girl who was stuck in a child’s swing.

The girl slid herself into the swing in Finsbury Park, north London, yesterday afternoon, but was unable to get out without assistance.

The large contingent of firefighters, who arrived in three separate fire engines, were eventually able to free her after removing the swing from its frame.

It is believed the girl was freed after the firefighters were able to slide the swing off of her legs.

A bystander told MailOnline: ‘She had her hands in her head, embarrassed, and was being filmed by her family and was clearly stuck in the child’s swing.’

‘A lot of firemen had showed up - they were there for about 15 minutes. They took the chains off the swing and managed to slide it off of her.

‘She wasn’t hurt - just embarrassed as there were a lot of people stood by and watching.

‘People were wondering why there were so many fire engines, though.’

A spokesman for the London Fire Brigade said: ‘We were called just after 6pm yesterday to a child stuck in a swing.

‘We take anything to do with children seriously, and send the correct response for any eventuality.

‘We never know exactly what we’re going to find until we get there, but once we ascertained what it was we were able to free the child from the swing and get our fire engines away quickly.’

‘Two fire engines and a fire rescue vehicle was sent. The rescue unit has specialised cutting equipment and if we are called to someone stuck we may well need to use that.’

the rest is here. source

Posted by peiper     on 09/26/2013 at 01:37 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor • News-Briefs •  
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   Friday - September 20, 2013

Southern Gentlemen

Posted by Drew458     on 09/20/2013 at 04:05 PM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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   Wednesday - September 11, 2013

Missing Blogger

Posted by Drew458     on 09/11/2013 at 12:36 PM   
Filed Under: • Blog Stuff • CHESS • Humor •  
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   Monday - September 09, 2013

Your AM Laugh

A bit of humour from over there, thanks to KJM.

An 8.1 earthquake hits the Middle East. Two million Muslims die and over a million are injured.

Iraq and Iran are totally ruined, and the governments don’t know where to start providing help to rebuild.

The rest of the world is in shock.

The USA is sending troops to help.

Saudi Arabia is sending oil.

Latin American countries are sending supplies.

New Zealand is sending sheep, cattle and food crops.

The Asian countries are sending labour to assist in rebuilding the infrastructure.

Canada is sending medical teams and supplies.

Great Britian is sending two million replacement Muslims.

Posted by Drew458     on 09/09/2013 at 07:11 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor • RoPMA •  
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   Saturday - August 31, 2013

One From Doc

Last Saturday afternoon, in Washington , D.C, an aide to Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi visited the Cardinal of the Catholic cathedral in D.C. He told the Cardinal that Nancy Pelosi would be attending the next day’s Mass, and he asked if the Cardinal would kindly point out Pelosi to the congregation and say a few words that would include calling Pelosi a saint.

The Cardinal replied, “No. I don’t really like the woman, and there are issues of conflict with the Catholic Church over certain of Pelosi’s views.

Pelosi’s aide then said, “Look, I’ll write a check here and now for a donation of $10,000 to your church if you’ll just tell the congregation you see Pelosi as a saint.”

The Cardinal thought about it and said, “Well, the church can use the money, so I’ll work your request into tomorrow’s sermon.”

As her aide promised, Pelosi appeared for the Sunday worship and seated herself prominently at the forward left side of the center aisle. As promised, at the start of his sermon, the Cardinal pointed out that Pelosi was present.

The Cardinal went on to explain to the congregation, “While Congresswoman Pelosi’s presence is probably an honor to some, the woman is not numbered among my personal favorite personages.  Some of her views are contrary to tenets of the Church, and she tends to flip-flop on many other issues.

Nancy Pelosi is a petty, self-absorbed hypocrite, a thumb sucker and a nit-wit.  Nancy Pelosi is also a serial liar, a cheat, and a thief. I must say, Nancy Pelosi is the worst example of a Catholic I have ever personally witnessed. She married for money and is using her wealth to lie to the American people. She also has a reputation for shirking her Representative obligations both in Washington and in California. The woman is simply not to be trusted.”

The Cardinal concluded, “But, when compared with President Obama, Pelosi is a saint.”

Posted by Drew458     on 08/31/2013 at 09:58 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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   Thursday - August 22, 2013

Two From Judea

Currently working my way through Benjamin Netanyahu’s treatise A Durable Peace. Moderately hard slogging, but there’s a wealth of information in there. I was already fairly familiar with the last two centuries of history in the Levant, but Benji puts in a huge amount of detail on the birth of Zionism than I was unaware of. Where his premise goes after that, I’ll have to read through and find out. But I can guess. Meanwhile, here are two from a famous Israeli comic strip guy ...

  

President Bashar Assad’s forces pressed on with a military offensive in eastern Damascus on Thursday, bombing rebel-held suburbs where the opposition said a chemical weapons attack the day before killed over 100 people.

The government has denied allegations it used chemical weapons in artillery barrages on the area known as eastern Ghouta on Wednesday as “absolutely baseless.” The United States, Britain and France have demanded that a team of U.N. experts already in Syria be granted immediate access to investigate the site.

Syrian opposition figures and activists have reported widely varying death tolls from Wednesday’s attack, from 136 to as high as 1,300. But even the most conservative tally would make it the deadliest alleged chemical attack in Syria’s civil war.

The Britain-based Syrian Observatory for Human Rights said it had no word on casualties in the Thursday morning bombing of eastern Ghouta. It said Syrian warplanes conducted several air raids on eastern and western suburbs of Damascus, including three that took place within five minutes.

Wednesday’s alleged chemical weapons attack left scores of children dead, their lifeless bodies appearing in amateur videos wrapped in white cloths, their pale skin unmarked by any wounds.

Maybe so, maybe not ... we know just how much credence amateur video journalism is worth from that corner of the world. Nada.

Posted by Drew458     on 08/22/2013 at 08:18 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor • Middle-East •  
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   Sunday - August 04, 2013

I Just Fucking Shot Myself - The Musical

Adding humorous insult to (self-inflicted) injury.

H/T Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler

Addendum: Here’s our ‘hero’ telling how he shot himself and showing how kind the .45 ACP round was to him. I imagine if it had hit bone he’d’ve been lucky to ‘only’ lose the leg.

Posted by Christopher     on 08/04/2013 at 05:08 PM   
Filed Under: • Guns and Gun Control • Humor • Talented Ppl. •  
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   Wednesday - July 31, 2013

it’s all in how an actor says it … and it’s damn funny. with no harm intended to German friends

couldn’t resist and of course someone somewhere will say, that’s raaaaacist.

Of course, it’s all in how it’s done by actors, and this is a scream as in very funny.

If French is the language of love and English is the language of business, then where does that leave the German vernacular?

With its strong consonants and sharp vowels, to many the German tongue can sound a little harsh compared to some of its continental counterparts.

source

Posted by peiper     on 07/31/2013 at 06:31 AM   
Filed Under: • Fun-Stuff • Humor •  
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   Monday - July 29, 2013

just for fun

Posted by peiper     on 07/29/2013 at 11:03 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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   Sunday - July 28, 2013

Secrets of South-Of-The-Border Parenting Revealed

No Rich, this is what I post on a really slow news day. Besides, you wanna read another friggin’ post about Obongo breaking the law by ignoring it (State Dept to pay Egypt $1.5 Bn by ignoring coup).  I’m tired of that crap. And we’ve got more than 1000 more days to go.

Posted by Drew458     on 07/28/2013 at 07:32 PM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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   Friday - July 26, 2013

How to avoid drone strikes

With Sen. Rand Paul’s filibuster over drone strikes ended I thought it would be appropriate to inform BMEWSers and BMEWSettes of several ways to avoid drone strikes. This is necessary because I don’t believe anything this misAdministration says.

1. Join the church where Al Sharpton is a preacher. No one knows where it is.
2. If you can’t find it, join the church Obama frequents.
3. If you can’t find that: register as a Republican Senate candidate from New York, New Jersey, or California.
4. Get a federal “green energy” loan, then declare bankruptcy. The U.S. government will cover for you.
5. Proclaim you are a victim of black-on-black crime. The media will render you invisible.
6. Come out as a black conservative. The media will render you unrecognizable.
7. If you are a woman: confess that Bill Clinton or Ted Kennedy once propositioned you.
8. Hide in the back of a Massachusetts senator’s submerged car. It will buy you at least a few hours.
9. Become a member of Obama’s Job Council.
10. Insert yourself in the next 2,000-page bill.
11. Follow Jesse Jackson to an honest day’s work.
12. Get friendly with Sandra Fluke. Nobody has ever been able to find any of those guys.
13. Say “Hi, I’m Jon Huntsman and I’m still running for president.”
14. Pretend you’re a salad; at least the First Lady won’t spot you.
15. Never walk in New York holding a 16oz Styrofoam soda cup.
16. Never drink from a bottle of water in front of a camera. This will put you in the media spotlight 24/7 for days.
17. Get in line at the DMV or another government office; by the time you emerge, drones will be obsolete.
18. Impersonate an American taxpayer.
19. Hide in plain sight in Benghazi; it makes a lot of difference.
20. Camp out at Obama’s shooting range; no one is ever there.
21. Stay where Obama keeps his college transcripts, U.S. passport records, or financial records. You will never be disclosed.
22. Set up in one of Chicago’s highest murder-rate zones. A truckload of fighters with RPGs will go undetected.
23. Hold a sign, preferably bilingual, declaring a “Drone-Free Zone.”

H/T: The People’s Cube

Posted by Christopher     on 07/26/2013 at 02:37 PM   
Filed Under: • Democrats-Liberals-Moonbat Leftists • Homeland-Security • Humor • Obama, The One •  
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Tourist Alert

Visitors to one of France’s most beautiful tourist areas were today warned to be on their guard after a pack of feral cats launched an attack on a young woman.

About six cats pounced on the unnamed dog owner as she walked her poodle in the city of Belfort, in the popular Franche-Comte region, on the Swiss border, dragging her to the ground and mauling her.

She was bitten repeatedly and left with a torn artery which could have proved fatal, while the dog was also badly hurt.

It is thought that particularly high summer temperatures may have made the cats far more aggressive than usual.

Josette Galliot, the mother of the 31-year-old victim, said: “They jumped on her and managed to knock her over.

“The feral cats bit her on the leg and on her arms. They even pierced an artery,” Mrs Galliot told l’Est Republicain newspaper, adding that her daughter had been “living a nightmare” since Sunday’s attack.

The woman was rushed to hospital where she received treatment for her wounds, and a number of injections including one against rabies. The poodle was treated at a nearby veterinary clinic.

A local police spokesman meanwhile suggested that the attack was “very unusual” and therefore “a cause of great concern”.

Posted by Drew458     on 07/26/2013 at 11:58 AM   
Filed Under: • Animals • EUro-peons • Humor •  
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