Wednesday - February 12, 2014

Its The Only Thing I Can Do

There’s only one thing I can do.

Mix up a double Manhattan, and fire up the grill.

Ok, we had to shovel off the patio, and break about 5” of ice off the grill cover first. But she’s heatin up now, and I’ve got a nice thick sirloin oiled up and warming on the counter.

We did loads of shopping and getting ready. I even went to the library and got a couple of classics out to read. So if the storm whacks us arse over teakettle for half a week or so, it won’t matter. Heck, I even found raw shaved coconut so I can make spicy marinated coconut shrimp. Good. To. Go.

As much as 14 inches of snow could hit New York City and the surrounding area tonight, as the storm that has gridlocked the Southeast comes north.

AccuWeather Meteorologist Tom Kines says the snow will begin to fall around midnight and last through most of Thursday. The latest National Weather Service forecast map shows that the city will likely get between 10 and 14 inches, depending on whether precipitation changes over to rain during the day.

People in New Jersey and Long island will be much luckier, Kines said. He expects they’ll receive just a few inches.

“The commute [Thursday] is going to be slow. Well, it’s always slow, but it will be slower,” he said.

Kines also warns that winds will be heavy Thursday — with gusts approaching 40 mph — so people can expect a lot of snowdrifting.

The storm has brought more devastation to the South. States including Tennessee, the Carolinas, Alabama, Mississippi and Georgia have received sleet and freezing rain, which has kept everyone off the roads.

New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie closed state offices Thursday, in advance of Winter Storm Pax, which is expected to dump 6 to 10 inches of snow and sleet on the region Wednesday night into Thursday. Accumulation of up to 14 inches is possible in some areas.

“[Thursday] does not look like a good day in New Jersey,” Christie said in a statement. “We want to keep people off the roads and safe.”

Dozens of schools have already cancelled classes Thursday, with more closings expected.

It started snowing just a short while after I got the cover back on the grill. I am really getting tired of this nonsense, let me tell you. Unless you’re dying of thirst out in California, this has been one major suck winter just about everywhere. Damn that Man Made Climate Change!!

The steak was great though. A nice micro-marbled slab o’ beef, dusted with Greek Seasoning and Adobo, then forked full of holes and wet down with olive oil. Seared up crispy and brown outside, medium rare and super juicy inside, yum. And I captured half a cup of juices off the cutting board, so there will be proper one pan Yorkshire pudding tomorrow. 

Posted by Drew458     on 02/12/2014 at 08:03 PM   
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   Saturday - February 01, 2014

Drawn To Crime

A police sketch dubbed the ‘worst ever’ has amazingly led to an arrest.

Glenn Rundles from Paris, Texas was arrested on Tuesday after a patrolman from the local sheriff’s department claimed he recognised the man from the cartoon-like depiction.

Lamar County Sheriff’s Department had released the picture last week in the hope of tracking down the mugging suspect and it received lots of publicity… but for all the wrong reasons.

The image went viral, sparking hilarity and outrage among social media users and online news sites with many claiming it was the worst police sketch ever.

Cops said the image of the criminal had been sketched by an experienced police artist with the use of descriptions from two victims and claimed it was a ‘composite sketch’ rather than a likeness.

But it is the police who have had the last laugh as Mr Rundles was charged with aggravated robbery and a host of other crimes including indecent exposure, burglary of a habitation, criminal mischief and evading arrest.

From our friends in the British Press:

Texan women mugged by perplexed-looking cartoon

This drawing of a suspect wanted in connection with the serious robbery of two women in Texas might just be the worst police sketch of all time.

The Lamar County Sheriff’s Department released the drawing – which they stress is a composite sketch, not a likeness – to help track down the man who allegedly mugged two women at knife point on Thursday.

But it seems unlikely that the sketch will aid the police in their inquiries given that it appears to depict a confused-looking cartoon man.
...
The suspect the police sketcher was trying to draw fits the victims’ description of a man ’6 foot tall or a little taller, approximately 25 to 30 years old with no or very thin facial hair, and a muscular build.’

The description adds: ‘His nose was straight with no flare in the nostrils. He has short black hair and a round face, with tattoos covering both arms and a tattoo on the left side of his neck.’

The authorities also said: ‘The victim was adamant about the tattoo on his neck having a lot of red ink in it.’

Right. So let’s all have a giggle at those silly cowboys in Texas. Those half-civilized Americans. Putting a cartoon character on the local Most Wanted List. Who’s next, Homer Simpson? Egad. Quite. Thank goodness our constabulary have proper descriptive artists. None of this cartoon nonsense!

Police have defended a ‘lettuce-head’ e-fit of a distraction burglar who stole £60 from an elderly woman in Stockbridge, Hampshire.

Despite the offender being described as having wavy blonde/grey hair, Hampshire police released an e-fit of the suspect with bright green hair – earning the character the ‘lettuce-head’ nickname.

Officers have stated that the oddly-coloured hair was a result of a ‘technical error’.

A Hampshire police spokeswoman told The Daily Telegraph: ‘We make every effort to ensure that the e-fits we circulate are as accurate and detailed as they possibly can be from the description provided by the witness.

‘We are, though, currently experiencing technical problems with the quality of the hair and are waiting for an upgrade to the system from the company who provides us with the software.

‘It is important to point out that the suspect in this case is described as having blond-grey hair.’

Funny thing though: so far the local plod’s search has focused around the local Burger Kings and McDonald’s parking lots.

Posted by Drew458     on 02/01/2014 at 03:54 PM   
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   Wednesday - January 29, 2014

a good toon

H/T Doc Jeff

This is the start of something for for Scott Adams and his comic strip; Dilbert.  I’ve never seen him directly take on a topical issue directly.  Considering that he is apparently going to target the Religion of Perpetual Outrage, it will be interesting to see how long the series lasts.  Doc Jeff

Posted by peiper     on 01/29/2014 at 05:08 AM   
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   Saturday - January 18, 2014

wiseguy

An old friend posted on Facebook “You know you’re in trouble when your kid calls you up for help with her spelling homework. “Mom can you give me a sentence that has biodiversity in it?”



I responded “For dinner we had steak, eggs, bread rolls, lobster tails, and asparagus. Is that biologically diverse enough?”

Posted by Drew458     on 01/18/2014 at 12:01 AM   
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   Tuesday - January 07, 2014

SIMON SAYS, HOW IT’S GONNA BE FOR THE UK IN 2014.

This really is for some of those UK surfers passing by who may not have seen Heffer’s predictions yet. 
And possibly ... should he have missed it .....  LyndonB .  Although I can’t imagine he did.

It is funny but .... it is also very much edited.  To read it as it was printed in the Mail,

Go Here > HEFFER PREDICTS

As is traditional at this time of year, Old Heffer brings out his trusty crystal ball.

If you thought our politicians’ behaviour in 2013 was beyond satire, read his predictions for next year…
HEFFER’S ALMANAC 2014: Three chumps pose for Cenotaph selfie, China buys Afghanistan… and Andy Murray defects to England.

By Simon Heffer

Nick Clegg, David Cameron, and Ed Miliband pose for a ‘selfie’ in front of the Cenotaph on Armistice Day.

They claim it shows their ‘very modern sense of respect’ for the Glorious Dead.

January:
Latvia becomes the 18th nation to adopt the euro with a promise of huge bail-outs if its economy fails.

February:
Six weeks after entering the euro, Latvia applies for a €5 billion bail-out.
Zimbabwean tyrant Robert Mugabe celebrates his 90th birthday.
To mark the occasion, he sells his country to China.
A study by an independent think-tank says the cost of HS2, the high-speed rail link between London and Birmingham, has soared to £80 billion.

March:
In the French municipal elections, Francois Hollande’s socialist party is routed, losing scores of town councils to the far-right National Front.
Bureaucrats in Brussels who, of course, have never been elected, insist that France might have to leave the EU.
The first same-sex marriages take place in Britain, with Sir Elton John going top of the charts with his new song, Kiss The Groom.

April:
The Inter-governmental Panel on Climate Change issues its fifth report, warning that the world will shortly start to overheat and melt.
China blithely ignores the findings and opens dozens of new coal-fired power stations.
Meanwhile, much of Europe endures the coldest spring in recorded history.
Eurozone countries are told by their German paymasters that bail-outs will be halted unless the affected countries agree to German-imposed rigid spending limits.
This, in effect, means the creation of the Fourth Reich, which is deeply unpopular in France where the elderly still vividly remember the last time the Germans ran the French economy.

May:
The Queen’s Speech is desperately thin, with relations between the two coalition parties so poor that they can decide on almost no proposed new legislation to put in it. MPs therefore decide to take 26 weeks’ holiday, on full pay.

The flagship infrastructure project, HS2, the high-speed rail link between London and Birmingham, has soared to £90 billion.

June:
Football’s World Cup starts in Brazil on time thanks to a late injection of Chinese money to help finish work on stadiums.
England are knocked out in the group stage, allowing the players to resume their other lucrative occupations as male models, escorts and minor celebrities.

On the 700th anniversary of the battle of Bannockburn, Scottish First Minister Alex Salmond says his country would win any rematch because the English can barely afford an army. In any case, most of the soldiers who remain are Scots.
The first same-sex divorces take place in Britain.

July:

Alarmed by the growing defection of Labour’s traditional white working-class vote to Ukip, Ed Miliband promises that if elected PM, he would lower the retirement age to 55, double the minimum wage, double welfare benefits and tax those earning over £100,000 a year at 75 per cent.

President Hollande, clinging on to power in France by his fingernails, warns him that he has already tried most of these policies - with zero success.
Instead, he urges Mr Miliband to pursue Thatcherite policies. England’s cricketers lose yet another Test series, this time to India, and the entire team checks into The Priory clinic for counselling.

August:
Marking the Great War centenary, David Cameron says the existence of the EU makes such a conflict unthinkable today. However, the French are less optimistic, having been ordered by Germany to make drastic cuts to public spending.
The latest survey puts the cost of HS2 the high-speed rail link between London and Birmingham, at £100 billion. Mr Cameron insists it will be ‘worth every penny’.

The Chinese government announces it has bought all utility and energy companies in Britain that it does not already own and plans to buy Heathrow Airport, which it will to expand to cover much of Berkshire.

September:
The Scottish referendum on independence sees a heavy defeat for the nationalists. English taxpayers’ groups (who had hoped that independence would mean an end to them having to pay the Scots around £24 billion a year in subsidies) are outraged.
They demand a recount and their own referendum on the issue.

October:
At the Tory conference, Boris Johnson attracts a larger audience at his fringe meeting about the Roman despot Caligula than David Cameron does for his keynote speech.
This is despite Boris being an hour late, having got a puncture on his bicycle.
The Lib Dems’ conference, planned for a big hall in Glasgow, relocates to a cafe round the corner, where the dozen or so remaining Lib Dems can enjoy a multi-cultural treat of deep-friend Mars Bars.
Vince Cable steals the headlines (as usual) by announcing his plans to rejoin the Labour Party, prompting puzzlement among those who thought he already had.
A video of Nick Clegg’s speech - expected to be his last as party leader - goes viral on YouTube as a cure for insomnia.

November:

Ed Balls gives a piano recital in his new role as shadow Culture Secretary, playing the easy bits of Beethoven’s 5th Concerto - the Emperor. One Tory backbench wag says: ‘It should have been the Sorcerer’s Apprentice Concerto!

December:
The Government abandons HS2 after the predicted cost reaches £120 billion.  Even the Chinese had refused to back the deal at such an absurd price.
Mr Cameron hails the U-turn as a ‘triumph for rail passengers’. Meanwhile, Jeremy Clarkson of TV’s Top Gear claims it is now cheaper to fly on executive jets from Birmingham to London.

On the anniversary of Nelson Mandela’s death, the BBC repeats all 100 programmes it had broadcast to mark his passing in 2013, and screens several dozen specially commissioned new ones.

Ed Balls, frustrated in his new job, denounces Christmas as a ‘Tory lie’ while attending a children’s performance of Pinocchio in his Yorkshire constituency.

As British troops complete their final withdrawal from Afghanistan, thousands return home to be handed redundancy notices.

The Chinese government buys Afghanistan.

Posted by peiper     on 01/07/2014 at 08:38 AM   
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   Wednesday - January 01, 2014

a visual

‘Actually, we don’t think it’s flooding. We think Britain’s sinking’

Cartoonists just nail things perfectly.  Erm,,, maybe I should say only the ones I agree with?  Yeah. That sounds about right.

This is more a cartoon comment on the new immigration flood expected. 
The newspaper in lower right I believe reads, immigration doors open

Posted by peiper     on 01/01/2014 at 04:20 PM   
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   Monday - December 30, 2013

Ooh, sick, twisted, and evil

Sick, twisted, and evil .  Which means ... I love it.

Presents for Liberals and other morons Darwin hasn’t found yet, part 1.

Now, that looks like a UK spec, 230v grounded plug with integral 13 amp fuse on the hot line. So that would make this little duckie a pretender, right? The real model would be neither fused nor grounded. And it would have some exposed wire feet or something.

Either way kiddies, this is just dark sarcastic humor. Don’t try this at home. Or at anyone else’s home. Not even if their name is John Freakin Kerry. Not even.

Posted by Drew458     on 12/30/2013 at 12:16 AM   
Filed Under: • Democrats-Liberals-Moonbat Leftists • Humor •  
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   Sunday - December 22, 2013

The New Blondes

An female low information voter driving a car became lost in a snowstorm.

She didn’t panic however, because she remembered what her dad had once told her: “If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, just wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it.”

Sure enough, pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it.

She followed the plow for about forty-five minutes. Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing.

She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in a snow storm, to follow a plow.

The driver nodded and said,

“Well, I’m done with the Wal-Mart parking lot, do you want to follow me over to Best Buy now?”

Posted by Drew458     on 12/22/2013 at 10:03 AM   
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   Saturday - December 21, 2013

George W Bush and Barack Obama

Checking email that’s been stacked up for a few days.  Had not planned this one as first post for the day but .... It’s funny.

Got it from Doc Jeff, among other items, and working way through it all.

H/T Doc Jeff

George W Bush and Barack Obama somehow ended up at the same barber shop. As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken.

The barbers were even afraid to start a conversation, for fear it would turn to politics. As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Obama in his chair reached for the aftershave.

Obama was quick to stop him saying, “No thanks, my wife Michelle will smell that and think I’ve been in a whorehouse.”

The second barber turned to Bush and said, “How about you sir?” Bush replied, “Go ahead; my wife doesn’t know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like.”

Posted by peiper     on 12/21/2013 at 09:16 AM   
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   Thursday - December 12, 2013

curtain up, Q the orch.

It always happens to me or almost always. I boot for specific reason or reasons. I need to find something lost. I see an email waiting for me from a friend in music, and naturally whatever it was I was originally looking for drops down a slot as I discovered my friend has found something I lost long ago and so sent me a link. Well, what would you do?  I had to go to the link and now my original plan is number three in the que.  In another 30 seconds I forget what my plan or search was for and so abandon all hope of finding my way back. 

At about that point my wife comes through for her morning tea and I stop her and tell her to look at the inside page of one of our papers.  Take a look at London I tell her.  Paper says flights cancelled or diverted and the air lanes are a mess. Late and missed flights etc. All due to London fog.  Ah ha.  That’s where I was when I started.  London fog. I thought the photo and article fairly interesting especially since I could combine the story with music.  ( I was going to post Sinatra’s “Foggy Day in London Town” but on reflection decided I really didn’t like that version much. ) So back on track, right?  Well, not so fast P.
Cos while I grabbed a photo and scrolling for the story I wanted to copy here, hold the phone.  What’s this?  Woo-Hoo and CRIVENS I never saw Dianna Rigg like this before.  I had a major crush on her once.  I think I’m still in love with the memory.
So I got sidetracked again because hey people …. this is a love story. Mine. I had to see what this was about.  So my original story now recalled, once again got put in second place but hey at least it’s back in the game.

It feels like a million years since I saw a stage play.  I rather enjoyed the odd two or three I saw and especially was thrilled many years ago seeing Walter Matthau on stage in DC, in “The Odd Couple.” It later became a TV series.  Now if you looked that up you’d see how long ago it was.  I always had a somewhat passing interest in reading about theaters and plays etc. and read reviews even though I don’t attend.

But this caught my eye and attention.

Not the greatest or smartest looking photo I’ve seen but she’s still a beauty here, even among the weird looking .... what?  Are they dancers? Whatever they were supposed to be. I don’t think I’d have cared to be in the audience.
Anyway .... this is the next part that came with the photo.  I think I might want the book.

Not all right on the night

In his research for a new book, The National Theatre Story, Daniel Rosenthal found that even star-studded shows don’t go without a hitch. He recalls the mishaps that almost brought the curtain down on the likes of John Gielgud and Diana Rigg.

Stage managers are a phlegmatic breed and, if the house style of their nightly show reports at the National Theatre is anything to go by, their sense of humour is bone-dry.

Since 1963, National Theatre actors have given tens of thousands of performances at the Old Vic and on the South Bank, but, with just one performance per run audio or video recorded for archive purposes, only a tiny fraction of these shows endure. For all the rest, the most tangible records are the reports typed up by the stage manager soon after curtain-down, and stored in the NT Archive.

These pro-forma, A4 sheets ( A4 is Brit speak for 8x10) give basic information, including start and finish times for each act, length of interval, details of any absentees and who covered their roles. Sometimes a performance is momentarily brought to life by the section headed “Remarks” or, latterly, “Comments”. Here, stage managers always hope to write “Full house. Clean show. Standing ovation”, and, far more often than not, no problems are noted. But in live theatre it will never be all right every night…

Jumpers (Old Vic, 1972–73)

Stage manager: Jackie Harvey. Cast included Diana Rigg, and a mechanical prop tortoise
Wednesday 23 February 1972 “Fluff from Miss Rigg’s gown caught in her throat early in Act 1 and remained until interval: very painful; affected her voice.”

Tuesday 29 February 1972 “Tortoise head fell off during Act 1. This is the third time that this has happened. Please could the design be changed.”
-end-

Posted by peiper     on 12/12/2013 at 11:24 AM   
Filed Under: • Art-Photography • Humor •  
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unintended consequences?

I don’t think they planned it quite this way.  Do you?  But someone snapped the shutter release and someone decided to print and ... Bingo!

Posted by peiper     on 12/12/2013 at 07:58 AM   
Filed Under: • Animals • Humor •  
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   Wednesday - December 11, 2013

it was faked

I think I’ll post this as humor. 

I’m not posting much of the article, if you’re interested there’s a link below.

Cheers and good evening to all. 

An interpreter who was seen by millions of television viewers worldwide translating Nelson Mandela’s memorial service into sign language was a ‘fake’, according to South Africa’s deaf federation.

The unidentified man, who was broadcast standing alongside world leaders including US President Barack Obama, was making up his own signs, according to the Deaf Federation of South Africa.

With the eyes of the world watching the FNB stadium in Johannesburg, the interpreter was ‘moving his hands around but there was no meaning in what he used his hands for,’ claimed Bruno Druchen, the federation’s national director.

The embarrassing claim comes after yesterday’s ceremony which saw crowds in the third empty stadium boo the country’s president Jacob Zuma.

SOURCE FOR MORE

Posted by peiper     on 12/11/2013 at 12:16 PM   
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   Wednesday - November 27, 2013

“… cotton is Latin for bacon.”

For all of you who will be travelling to friends and family and staying in hotels or motels during the holidays and still want a ‘home-cooked’ breakfast, Natalie has you covered.

Posted by Christopher     on 11/27/2013 at 10:20 PM   
Filed Under: • Fine-Dining • Humor •  
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   Wednesday - November 06, 2013

a very short post because this was all she said re. piers morgan

Caught this one tiny blurb in a Sarah Vine column today. Funny.

Piers Morgan has received a death threat in America.

The police have narrowed the list of suspects down to 250 million.

True? As little as 250m?

Posted by peiper     on 11/06/2013 at 06:59 AM   
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