BMEWS
 
Sarah Palin is allowed first dibs on Alaskan wolfpack kills.

calendar   Sunday - June 29, 2014

Hillary Vile-Rall

too chim, la? Much funny.

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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 06/29/2014 at 05:01 PM   
Filed Under: • Democrats-Liberals-Moonbat LeftistsHumor •  
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calendar   Wednesday - June 25, 2014

booo

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See More Below The Fold

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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 06/25/2014 at 12:02 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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calendar   Friday - June 13, 2014

Oh no! Should I cry or applaud?


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Posted by Christopher   United States  on 06/13/2014 at 05:24 PM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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calendar   Thursday - June 05, 2014

The ObamaCone

TODAY IS THE OLDEST YOU’VE EVER BEEN,
YET THE YOUNGEST YOU’LL EVER BE,
SO ENJOY THIS DAY WHILE IT LASTS.

HAVE SOME ICE CREAM !


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Step right up, you’re first in line! Special just for you: you’re first in line! Always!

In honor of the 44th President of the United States , Baskin-Robbins Ice Cream has introduced a new flavor: Barocky Road

Barocky Road is a blend of half vanilla, half chocolate, and surrounded by nuts and flakes. The vanilla portion of the mix is not openly advertised and usually denied as an ingredient. The nuts and flakes are all plentiful.

The cost is $92.84 per scoop...so, out of a $100 bill, you are at least promised some CHANGE.

When purchased, it will be presented to you in a large beautiful cone, but after you pay for it, the ice cream is taken out of the cone and given to the person in line behind you at no charge.

You are left with an almost-empty wallet, staring at an empty cone and wondering what just happened. Then you realize this is what “redistribution of wealth” is all about.

Aren’t you just stimulated?


No?  Well, guess what they’re going to do with that cold empty cone the moment you turn around?


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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 06/05/2014 at 04:26 PM   
Filed Under: • HumorObama, The One •  
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calendar   Sunday - May 11, 2014

MY HEART IS FRENCH ….. Arletty

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In another world unknown to many of us, there was once a French actress with one name, that name being Arletty.

During the German occupation of France, the Ritz Hotel maintained its pre war glamour and opulence and was home to the well born, actors, and ladies having a late dinner with gentlemen not their husbands. 

Now it happens that the world famous Coco Chanel had a suite there, where she also had as a lover, a German officer.

After the war, there was much bad feeling towards women who slept with the enemy.

Chanel was saved from prosecution and jail by her many friends in high places, which included we are told, Churchill himself.

Unfortunately for actress Arletty … her friends in high places lost the war, and she spent some time in jail. 

Now then … the only reason for this post and telling you about an actress some of you might have briefly seen in the movie, “The Longest Day”, if you ever saw that movie, is because of the wonderfully gutsy remark she made with regard to her illicit affair with that officer. I love this.

“ My Heart is French ...  My ass is international ”


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Posted by peiper   United Kingdom  on 05/11/2014 at 11:19 AM   
Filed Under: • FRANCEHumor •  
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calendar   Wednesday - April 30, 2014

Farewell to Freedom Part 3, the linking

Oh, we would live in such just world if only this were true.

Outstanding work, mr egnor. 


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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 04/30/2014 at 03:18 PM   
Filed Under: • HumorJudges-Courts-LawyersJustice - LACK OFLatin-AmericaRacism and race relations •  
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calendar   Monday - April 28, 2014

the funny pics

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But his teeth were really white!


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The face of irony, from Game of Thrones




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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 04/28/2014 at 10:12 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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calendar   Thursday - April 03, 2014

From The Dustbin Of History

Some very old jokes, one obviously from England, from way back in the day.



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A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich.

The barman looks at him and says, “Hang on! You’re a duck.”

“I see your eyes are working,” replies the duck.

“And you can talk!” exclaims the barman.

“I see your ears are working, too,” says the duck. “Now if you don’t mind, can I have my beer and my sandwich please?”

“Certainly, sorry about that,” says the barman as he pulls the duck’s pint.  “It’s just we don’t get many ducks in this pub. What are you doing round this way?”

“I’m working on the building site across the road,” explains the duck. “I’m a plasterer.”

The flabbergasted barman cannot believe the duck and wants to learn more, but takes the hint when the duck pulls out a newspaper from his bag and proceeds to read it.

So, the duck reads his paper, drinks his beer, eats his sandwich, bids the barman good day and leaves.

The same thing happens for two weeks.

Then one day the circus comes to town.

The ringmaster comes into the pub for a pint and the barman says to him “You’re with the circus, aren’t you? Well, I know this duck that could be just brilliant in your circus. He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the newspaper and everything!”

“Sounds marvelous,” says the ringmaster, handing over his business card. “Get him to give me a call.”

So the next day when the duck comes into the pub the barman says, “Hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money.”

“I’m always looking for the next job,” says the duck. “Where is it?”

“At the circus,” says the barman.

“The circus?” repeats the duck.

“That’s right,” replies the barman.

“The circus?” the duck asks again. “That place with the big tent?”

“Yeah,” the barman replies.

“With all the animals who live in cages, and performers who live in caravans?” says the duck.

“Of course,” the barman replies.

“And the tent has canvas sides and a big canvas roof with a hole in the middle?” persists the duck.

“That’s right!” says the barman.

The duck shakes his head in amazement, and says

“What on earth would they want with a plasterer??!”


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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 04/03/2014 at 10:00 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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calendar   Thursday - March 27, 2014

Matzoh Matzoh Man


So I run up to the grocery store to get some deli meat and cheese for lunch. Grabbed a couple bagged salads, a few oranges, and a couple other bits and pieces, and made a bee line for the checkout.

The kid rings up my order. Lucky me, I even got $1 off the salads with a coupon I found on the floor over in the produce section.

He gives me back my change while reading my receipt.

“Congratulations sir, you’re our big winner this hour! You’ve just won a giant package of matzohs!”

“What? Huh? You’re kidding me, right?”

“Oh no, it’s part of the hourly give away we’re doing all week. Go back to the display at the end of aisle 4 and get the big sleeve of the rack, and any cashier will let you have it if you show her this receipt.”

So I did. What the heck. And now I have an enormous, 5 pound sleeve of Horowitz Matzohs. “The matzoh with the taste”! $7.99 on sale, but for me, free!!

I’ve got nothing against matzohs. I even eat maybe 3, maybe 4 a year when I get the little cup of matzoh ball soup which comes with dinner up at the diner. How many does it take to make a matzoh ball dumpling? But 5lb worth? What am I going to do with 5lb of matzohs?

“Anything you want bubbie, anything you want!”

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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 03/27/2014 at 01:21 PM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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calendar   Wednesday - March 19, 2014

on old age

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I found this quote in the paper.
Passing it on.

Getting old is like being increasingly punished for a crime
you never committed.

Anthony Powell

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Posted by peiper   United Kingdom  on 03/19/2014 at 11:26 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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calendar   Wednesday - March 12, 2014

Pussified In Portland

Somewhere Kim DuToit is downing a big glass of Kllipdrift, yelling “I told you so! I told you so!!”


Oregon cat that trapped family to get therapy

Unreal, except on the far left coast.

The Oregon owners of a 22-pound house cat who trapped them in their bedroom after attacking their baby say they’re not giving up on their pet and are getting it medical attention and therapy.

Two days after police arrived to subdue the 4-year-old Himalayan cat, owner Lee Palmer of Portland said he’s taking the feline to a veterinarian. A pet psychologist also is due at the house to see the cat, named Lux.

“We’re not getting rid of him right now,” Palmer said. “He’s been part of our family for a long time.”

Palmer says the animal attacked his 7-month-old child after the baby pulled its tail. The child suffered a few scratches on the forehead.

On the 911 call, Palmer tells the dispatcher he kicked the cat “in the rear” to protect his child. Palmer says the animal then “just went off over the edge”—leading Palmer and his girlfriend to barricade themselves, their baby and the family dog in the bedroom for safety.

The cat can be heard screeching in the background of the call as Palmer says in a panicked voice: “He’s charging us. He’s at our bedroom door.” Palmer also tells the dispatcher the cat has been violent in the past.


Holy shiite. HMFS. OMFG. The cat scratched the baby because the baby pulled his tail. Well double duh with a side order of No Shit Sherlock. So Mr. Man swoops in to save teh day, knees the moggy right in the puffs, then runs and hides in teh Safe Room, WITH THE DOG, and CALLS 911. Probably had to have 3 double latte half-caf mochachinos with extra cinnamon and low-fat soy milk whipped cream and a fair trade organic cherry on top after it was all over to regain his composure. And fix his chipped nails.

But it’s the CAT who needs therapy. With a house call.

I hear the dog died from humiliation.


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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 03/12/2014 at 10:05 PM   
Filed Under: • AnimalsDemocrats-Liberals-Moonbat LeftistsHumor •  
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calendar   Thursday - March 06, 2014

Stolen Joke

Did you know that Barry, Teh Mooch, and Chris Christie were childhood friends?


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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 03/06/2014 at 05:41 PM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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calendar   Tuesday - March 04, 2014

you can not make that joke and survive politically. but the police ??

So a non pc conservative bites the dust over a very funny gag.

Is there anything for me to add?

Yes.  Sadly it has come to this.  In a politically correct world, we are no longer allowed to lampoon the ridiculous. Or even the not so if they are members of a protected group.  Which doesn’t include Christians but then, you already knew that.
AND ....  many among the protected special groups VOTE! 

Bottom line.

Conservatives are in the same boat with libs, licking boots for votes and approval.  And for gosh sake, why would the police be involved in any way?
Welcome to the 14th year of the 21 century.

Enjoy the image folks.

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Chris Joannides, councillor for Enfield, expelled from party for 12 months
He is also no longer endorsed as a candidate for May’s local elections
He shared an image on Facebook of a woman and child dressed in burkas
Caption on image compared the child to bin bags

By James Rush

A Tory councillor who shared an image on Facebook comparing Muslim children wearing burkas to bin bags has been kicked out of the party.

Chris Joannides, a councillor for Enfield, in north London, has been expelled from the party for 12 months and is no longer endorsed as a candidate for May’s local elections.

Mr Joannides had the whip for the Enfield Conservative Group suspended last year after he shared an image on the social networking site of a woman and child dressed in burkas standing next to two bin bags.

The image included a caption which read: ‘I saw her standing there and I told her she had three beautiful children. She didn’t have to get all p***ed off and threaten me. It was an honest mistake!’

At the time it was also reported he messaged friends during meetings with his constituents asking for updates on football scores and complaining about missing his favourite television programmes.

Mr Joannides, who is of Greek-Cypriot heritage, insisted he took his duties seriously despite the ‘blokeish banter’ written on his Facebook page and denied being Islamophobic.

A Conservative Party spokesman has now told MailOnline: ‘Cllr Chris Joannides is not endorsed as a Conservative Party Candidate in the forthcoming local government elections in the London Borough of Enfield in May 2014.  No Appeal is permitted under Party Rules.

He said he had been investigated and cleared by the local association and the police.

He said: ‘I was reselected to stand in May by the local branch. Then I got an email from Conservative Central Office at the 11th hour telling me they were suspending my membership for 12 months, effectively barring me from standing.

‘The rug has been pulled away from me.’

source


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Posted by peiper   United Kingdom  on 03/04/2014 at 07:20 AM   
Filed Under: • DIVERSITY BSHumormuslims •  
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calendar   Monday - March 03, 2014

going viral

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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 03/03/2014 at 10:50 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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Not that very many people ever read this far down, but this blog was the creation of Allan Kelly and his friend Vilmar. Vilmar moved on to his own blog some time ago, and Allan ran this place alone until his sudden and unexpected death partway through 2006. We all miss him. A lot. Even though he is gone this site will always still be more than a little bit his. We who are left to carry on the BMEWS tradition owe him a great debt of gratitude, and we hope to be able to pay that back by following his last advice to us all:
  1. Keep a firm grasp of Right and Wrong
  2. Stay involved with government on every level and don't let those bastards get away with a thing
  3. Use every legal means to defend yourself in the event of real internal trouble, and, most importantly:
  4. Keep talking to each other, whether here or elsewhere
It's been a long strange trip without you Skipper, but thanks for pointing us in the right direction and giving us a swift kick in the behind to get us going. Keep lookin' down on us, will ya? Thanks.

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Oh, and here's some kind of visitor flag counter thingy. Hey, all the cool blogs have one, so I should too. The Visitors Online thingy up at the top doesn't count anything, but it looks neat. It had better, since I paid actual money for it.
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