BMEWS
 
Sarah Palin is the reason compasses point North.

calendar   Sunday - July 11, 2004

Pinup Gals Of The Week

This week's first Pinup Gal is from Billy de Vorss. This print is entitled "Honey-Moon" and was published by Brown & Bigelow Calendars in 1938. Sweet!



Our second Pinup Gal is from Donald Rust (date unknown). It's entitled "Sheer Delight". Indeed!


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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 07/11/2004 at 01:27 PM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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Poll Results, The Ladies Judge & A New Poll

OK, everyone. Here are the results of our latest poll. We now leave it up to the ladies (our female readers) to interpret the results for us. Ladies, feel free to leave your comments. Don't pull any punches. The guys can take it. Do you think they were honest or were they just being typical guys?

Guys, What Would You Have Done If Debra Lafave Had Come On To You When You Were In The 9th Grade? (multiple selections are allowed)

AnswersVotesPercent
Boinked Her ---- Yes, I would have done the nasty with her. Over and over and ....15961%
Stoopid ---- I would have just stood there and mumbled "Um-um-um-um".3313%
Lied & Bragged ---- I would have told all the guys all about it, exaggerated of course.197%
Masturbated ---- I couldn't do it but I would have jerked off several times. 166%
Married Her ---- I would have fallen madly in love with her and asked her to marry me.125%
Jerk ---- I would have gone and told her husband on her.93%
Virgin ---- I would have told her flat out that I was saving myself for marriage.52%
Asked Dad ---- In confusion, I would have asked Dad to explain sex to me again. 31%
Religious ---- I would have tried to convert her into living a clean life.31%
Told Mommy ---- I would have run crying to mommy and blabbed.00%



The New Poll

Who will win the World Series this year?
(cast your vote in the Visitor's Poll in the sidebar)

Philadelphia Phillies (NL)
St. Louis Cardinals (NL)
Los Angeles Dodgers (NL)
San Francisco Giants (NL)
Chicago Cubs (NL)
New York Yankees (AL)
Minnesota Twins (AL)
Texas Rangers (AL)
Boston Red Sox (AL)
Chicago White Sox (AL)
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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 07/11/2004 at 11:39 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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News from the Third World

They say necessity is the mother of invention. Well, in India a guy invented (developed?) (built?) a CLAY REFRIGERATOR!! OK, it's not what you think but DO think along the lines of a large icebox without the ice that keeps veggies, etc cool for 7 days and milk safe for 3 days. It requires no motor and no electricity. Then think how hot it is in India and what a great idea this is. But, then again, Egyptians were making ice in mid-summer during the time of the pharaohs so.......

In any case, check out the last paragraph:
"Though fridge has now become one of the basic requirements, its high cost prevents poor and lower middle class people from buying the product"

Put that in your little thinking hat and give it a few minutes to sink in.....poor and LOWER MIDDLE CLASS people in India ca not afford a fridge (nor the electricity to run it!) Yet we have "poor" in the US who own their homes, have two cars, washers, dryers, TVs, DVD players, computers, do not suffer from hunger because many of them are FAT! and still they complain the government does not do enough for them.

Ship them to India, I say!




From the darkest corners of Africa we have this little gem. Read it and then ask yourself if you need any more reason to confirm why that continent is still so fucked up. Especially when its people believe this nonsense.

Of course, I've not tried having friends come over at night and burn a CD in my house to keep me asleep such that I'd not be able to determine they are robbing me so it COULD be true but...................that little guy who sits on your shoulder and tries to tell you your leg is being pulled is doing one hell of a dance right now.

So......anyway, sorry, but until someone else can give me conclusive proof as to the veracity of this, my bullshit meter will remain pegged and buried.
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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 07/11/2004 at 09:31 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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Daily Dose

Quote Of The Day

"The last time anybody made a list of the top one hundred character attributes of New Yorkers, common sense snuck in at number 79."
-- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001), "Mostly Harmless"


On This Day In History

July 11, 1804 - Burr Slays Hamilton In Duel
In a duel held in Weehawken, New Jersey, Vice President Aaron Burr fatally shoots his long-time political antagonist Alexander Hamilton. Hamilton, a leading Federalist and the chief architect of America's political economy, died the following day.

Affairs of honor were commonplace in America at the time, and the complex rules governing them usually led to an honorable resolution before any actual firing of weapons. In fact, the outspoken Hamilton had been involved in several affairs of honor in his life, and he had resolved most of them peaceably. No such recourse was found with Burr, however, and on July 11, 1804, the enemies met at 7 a.m. at the dueling grounds near Weehawken, New Jersey. It was the same spot where Hamilton's son had died defending his father's honor two years before.

There are conflicting accounts of what happened next. According to Hamilton's "second"--his assistant and witness in the duel--Hamilton decided the duel was morally wrong and deliberately fired into the air. Burr's second claimed that Hamilton fired at Burr and missed. What happened next is agreed upon: Burr shot Hamilton in the stomach, and the bullet lodged next to his spine. Hamilton was taken back to New York, and he died the next afternoon.

Few affairs of honor actually resulted in deaths, and the nation was outraged by the killing of a man as eminent as Alexander Hamilton. Charged with murder in New York and New Jersey, Burr, still vice president, returned to Washington, D.C., where he finished his term immune from prosecution.


July 11, 1914 - Babe Ruth's First Major League Game
On this day in 1914, Babe Ruth made his major league baseball debut as a pitcher for the Boston Red Sox. Ruth was a two-time 20-game winner with Boston Red Sox (1916-17); had a 94-46 record with a 2.28 ERA, while he was 3-0 in the World Series with an ERA of 0.87; sold to New York Yankees for $100,000 in 1920.



Today's Birthdays

Robert the Bruce, Scottish King (1274)
John Quincy Adams, American President (1767)
Yul Brynner, American actor (1915)


Thanks to The Quotations Page - The History Channel - The Biography Channel.
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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 07/11/2004 at 01:36 AM   
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calendar   Saturday - July 10, 2004

UPDATE!

In case y'all didn't know:

Yankees win three in a row.

Cubbies lose 5 in a row.

GO YANKEES!!!
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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 07/10/2004 at 06:44 PM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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BIZARRE BIZARRE BIZARRE!

A new study (what would we do without them?) claims Germans shower and change underwear infrequently! Ya think?!?!?!

Now, I have no problem with not showering every day. (personally I rarely go more than 24 hours without one--unless I am camping or in Antarctica.) It all depends on your level of physical activity, perspiration rate, overall humidity of your location and your own level of personal hygiene after the last shower. But changing underwear once a week? EEEEWWW!


Hey!! Did you know that if you talk bad about homosexuals you can go to jail? Apparently that's what happened to a PASTOR!!! Imagine that, a pastor goes to jail for a month for voicing an opinion!!!!! And what did he say that was so offensive? He said that homosexuals are:
"abnormal, a horrible cancerous tumor in the body of society"

Of course, this happened in the socialist workers paradise of Sweden but it won't be long before Dummycraps here in the US start beating the drum for us to regulate free speech. How soon before we will be prohibited from criticizing anyone? or anything? 100 years? Maybe less? Remember the slippery slope concept. It is at work everywhere.


Meanwhile, in Rome, if you yell at someone, "you are a nobody" you will be arrested for slander!


Hey, look at me! Look at my t-shirt! It has a TV built into it so I can intrude into your peace and quiet anywhere I want to with my advertising!

This now gives guys three reasons to stare at a woman's chest. BWAH HA HA HA
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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 07/10/2004 at 04:02 PM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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Batty’s Back

Another blog site update: I finally decided to invest in a professional logo creation package and tinker around with the site banner and a few other odds and ends to further personalize the site instead of using the canned templates we've been using. I got "The Logo Creator" from LaughingBird Software and went to work.

First of all, I decided that after all the complaints from our readers it was time to put Batty back on the banner. So he's there, snarling and overseeing everything again. He's guarding the flag to make sure no damned hippies try to burn it. I dug through the image library provided with Logo Creator and stumbled across the image you see on the left. I thought it was cool, with the Pentagon (which is also home plate in baseball). Radar dish mounted on top and fighter aircraft scrambled - it just kinda fits.

All that was left was the site name. Logo Creator lets you insert text and do all kinds of magical things to it, like give it a metallic, embossed, gradient look like you see. Altogether, it seemed to me to give the site a high-impact powerful logo.

Let me know what you think. I may tinker with it a bit more but for now I'm pleased with the new look.

Note: Last night I secretly changed the master background to a high-contrast blue-gray stripe and when Vilmar got up this morning he freaked. Naturally, I told him I couldn't see any stripes. He rebooted his computer to see if it would clear it up. I finally confessed to the evil deed. Hey, we have to dork with our Benevolent Dictator occasionally just to keep him awake. Mheh-heh-he-he ....

Baseball Update: The Cubbies lost badly to the Cards last night but there's two more games in St. Louis before the All-Star Break next week. Cubs placed Sammy Sosa, Moises Alou and Carlos Zambrano on the NL All-Stars team. Sammy will be in the Home Run Derby on Monday for the sixth time.

GO CUBS!

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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 07/10/2004 at 11:49 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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Daily Dose

Quote Of The Day

"The three best things in life are a good landing, a good orgasm, and, a good bowel movement. The night carrier landing is one of the few opportunities in life where you get to experience all three at the same time."
-- Anonymous Navy Pilot


On This Day In History

July 10, 1987 - The Sinking Of The Rainbow Warrior
In Auckland harbor in New Zealand, Greenpeace's Rainbow Warrior sinks after French agents in diving gear plant a bomb on the hull of the vessel. One person, Dutch photographer Fernando Pereira, was killed. The Rainbow Warrior, the flagship of international conservation group Greenpeace, had been preparing for a protest voyage to a French nuclear test site in the South Pacific.

Two days after the incident, French authorities denied responsibility in the bombing and continued to do so even after New Zealand police arrested two French secret service agents in Auckland. Under pressure from New Zealand authorities, the French government formed an inquiry to investigate the incident and after several weeks concluded that the French agents were merely spying on Greenpeace. Later in the year, however, a British newspaper uncovered evidence of French President Francois Mitterrand's authorization of the bombing plan, leading to several top-level resignations in Mitterrand's cabinet and an admission by French Prime Minister Laurent Fabius that the agents had sunk the vessel under orders.

In Auckland, the two agents pleaded guilty to the lesser charges of manslaughter and willful damage and were each sentenced to 10 years in prison. Following negotiations with the French government, New Zealand released them a year later. In 1992, President Mitterrand ordered a halt to French nuclear testing, but in 1995 it was resumed, and Greenpeace sent The Rainbow Warrior II to French Polynesia to protest and disrupt the tests.




Today's Birthdays

John Calvin, Theologian (1509)
David Brinkley, News broadcaster (1920)
Arthur Ashe, American tennis player (1943)


Thanks to The Quotations Page - The History Channel - The Biography Channel.
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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 07/10/2004 at 12:53 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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calendar   Friday - July 09, 2004

LITTLE BITS OF NEWS and WEIRD STUFF, TOO!!

First, the News

It's way past time for Presidents to start doing stuff like this. President Bush has turned down an invitation to speak at the NAACP convention next week.

GOOD FOR HIM!!! Come, on! Give me a break! If you kept getting invitations to attend events where you were always criticized, where the whole organization can't stand your guts, and where you are ridiculed, what incentive would you have to go? The NAACP is a worthless organization mired in racial hatred and bigotry. For some reason they never complain when Dummycraps have virtually no representation in the US cabinet or in high offices of the DNC when the sitting President is a Dummycrap. But when it's a Republican at the helm, even two HUGE cabinet positions filled by Blacks is not enough to place them. How hypocritical can THAT be? It looks like President Bush is letting them know he sees through their bullshit.

FUCK THEM AND THE HORSE THEY RODE IN ON! Good on ya' Dubya!


The caterwauling about Bush and Cheney being tied to Halliburton is ceaseless from the Dummycraps and the media lap dogs kissing their ass.

So here's a nice twist. It looks like Enron favored nicely in The Poodle's portfolio. Not only that but he's had to return contributions from an implicated Enron representative.

And the topper of all toppers? Teresa (pronounced "Teh-RAY-Zah", as in, "Kerry plans Teresa your taxes!") sat on a board with Ken Lay!

Think you'll hear about this on the news? Yeah, right! And pigs will fly, too!



The Weird Stuff (thanks for the links go to Neal Boortz's site)

Want to know the 100 WORST titles in porn movies?

Um Hmmm, oh, yeah, it's nasty so if you have kids, put them in another room while you laugh your ass off.


Feel like performing your own circumcision? OW!! OUCH!! YIKES!!!

Check out The SmartKlamp: Single Use Automatic Circumcisions (note: not for the squeamish!)
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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 07/09/2004 at 12:14 PM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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Daily Dose

Quote Of The Day

"Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity."
-- Martin Luther King Jr. (1929 - 1968)


On This Day In History

July 9, 1846 - U.S. Takes San Francisco
Shortly after the Mexican War began, U.S. Captain John Montgomery sailed his warship into San Francisco Bay, anchoring just off the settlement of Yerba Buena. On this day in 1846, Montgomery led a party of marines and sailors ashore. They met no resistance and claimed the settlement for the United States, raising the American flag in the central plaza. The following year, the Americans renamed the village San Francisco.

Surprisingly, Europeans did not discover the spectacular San Francisco Bay until 1769, although several explorers had sailed by it in earlier centuries. When Spanish explorers finally found the bay in that year, they immediately recognized its strategic value. In 1776, the Spanish built a military post on the tip of the San Francisco peninsula and founded the mission of San Francisco de Asis (the Spanish name for Saint Francis of Assisi) nearby. The most northern outpost of the Spanish, and later Mexican, empire in America, the tiny settlement remained relatively insignificant for several decades. However, the potential of the magnificent harbor did not escape the attention of other nations. In 1835, the British Captain William Richardson established a private settlement on the shore of Yerba Buena Cove, several miles to the east of the Mexican mission. That same year the U.S. government offered to purchase the bay, but the Mexicans declined to sell.

In retrospect, the Mexicans should have sold while they still had the chance. A little more than a decade later, a dispute between the U.S. and Mexico over western Texas led to war and the eventual annexation of California by the U.S. When the Mexicans formally ceded California to the United States in the 1848 Treaty of Guadalupe, San Francisco was still a small town with perhaps 900 occupants. That same year, however, gold was discovered at the nearby Sutter's Fort. San Francisco became the gateway for a massive gold rush, and by 1852, the town was home to more than 36,000.


Editor's Note: Can we please give it back to Mexico? Pretty please?



Today's Birthdays

Nikola Tesla, Electrical engineer & inventor (1856)
Samuel Eliot Morison, American historian (1887)
Tom Hanks, American actor (1956)


Thanks to The Quotations Page - The History Channel - The Biography Channel.
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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 07/09/2004 at 12:11 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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calendar   Thursday - July 08, 2004

Daily Dose

Quote Of The Day

"The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the second half by our children."
-- Clarence Darrow (1857 - 1938)


On This Day In History

July 8, 1853 - Commodore Perry Sails Into Tokyo Bay
Commodore Matthew Calbraith Perry, representing the U.S. government, sails into Tokyo Bay, Japan, with a squadron of four vessels. For a time, Japanese officials refused to speak with Perry, but under threat of attack by the superior American ships they accepted letters from President Millard Fillmore, making the United States the first Western nation to establish relations with Japan since it had been declared closed to foreigners two centuries before. Only the Dutch and the Chinese were allowed to continue trade with Japan after 1639, but this trade was restricted and confined to the island of Dejima at Nagasaki.

After giving Japan time to consider the establishment of external relations, Commodore Perry returned to Tokyo with nine ships in March 1854. On March 31, he signed the Treaty of Kanagawa with the Japanese government, opening the ports of Shimoda and Hakodate to American trade and permitting the establishment of a U.S. consulate in Japan. In April 1860, the first Japanese diplomats to visit a foreign power in over 200 years reached Washington, D.C., and remained in the U.S. capital for several weeks, discussing expansion of trade with the United States. Treaties with other Western powers followed soon after, contributing to the collapse of the shogunate and ultimately the modernization of Japan.




Today's Birthdays

John Davison Rockefeller, American industrialist and philanthropist (1839)
Nelson Aldrich Rockefeller, American Vice President from 1974-1977 (1908)
Kevin Bacon, American actor (1958)


Thanks to The Quotations Page - The History Channel - The Biography Channel.
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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 07/08/2004 at 02:39 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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calendar   Wednesday - July 07, 2004

Stupid is as stupid does

Numbnuts gets pissed off at girlfriend. Uses her email account to send a message to the White House threatening to blow it up and kill the President. Got caught. Got convicted. So far so good.

Bad news? He's a minor so once he's served his time his record will be clear. THAT'S a scary thought. I never did like that aspect of the juvenile law. Some crime records should NEVER be expunged. Underage drinking, small amounts of drugs, breaking some windows, that sort of crap, OK, get rid of it. Sex crimes, robberies, larcenies, rapes, murders, manslaughters, DWI, threatening a President, etc.--NEVER.
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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 07/07/2004 at 09:52 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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calendar   Thursday - June 24, 2004

Daily Dose

Quote Of The Day

"At times one remains faithful to a cause only because its opponents do not cease to be insipid."
-- Friedrich Nietzsche


On This Day In History

June 24, 1812 - Napoleon Invades Russia
Following the rejection of his Continental System by Czar Alexander I, French Emperor Napoleon orders his Grande Armýe, the largest European military force ever assembled to that date, into Russia. The enormous army, featuring some 500,000 soldiers and staff, included troops from all the European countries under the sway of the French Empire.

During the opening months of the invasion, Napoleon was forced to contend with a bitter Russian army in perpetual retreat. Refusing to engage Napoleon's superior army in a full-scale confrontation, the Russians under General Mikhail Kutuzov burned everything behind them as they retreated deeper and deeper into Russia. On September 7, the indecisive Battle of Borodino was fought, in which both sides suffered terrible losses. On September 14, Napoleon arrived in Moscow intending to find supplies but instead found almost the entire population evacuated, and the Russian army retreated again. Early the next morning, fires broke across the city, set by Russian patriots, and the Grande Armýe's winter quarters were destroyed. After waiting a month for a surrender that never came, Napoleon, faced with the onset of the Russian winter, was forced to order his starving army out of Moscow.

During the disastrous retreat, Napoleon's army suffered continual harassment from a suddenly aggressive and merciless Russian army. Stalked by hunger and the deadly lances of the Cossacks, the decimated army reached the Berezina River late in November, but found their way blocked by the Russians. On November 27, Napoleon forced a way across at Studenka, and when the bulk of his army passed the river two days later, he was forced to burn his makeshift bridges behind him, stranding some 10,000 stragglers on the other side. From there, the retreat became a rout, and on December 8 Napoleon left what remained of his army to return to Paris. Six days later, the Grande Armýe finally escaped Russia, having suffered a loss of more than 400,000 men during the disastrous invasion.


Editor's Note: This proved to be not one but two of the Top Three Worst Military Plans of all time, which include ....
1. "Let's invade Russia in the winter"
2. "Let's pull a sneak attack on America"
3. "Let's let the French handle it"



Today's Birthdays

Jack Dempsey, American boxer (1895)
Ambrose Bierce, American satirist & journalist (1842)


Thanks to The Quotations Page - The History Channel - The Biography Channel.
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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 06/24/2004 at 01:31 AM   
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calendar   Wednesday - June 23, 2004

Dadgummit!

Rats! The Cubbies just lost a close one to the Cards. Final score: Cubs 9 Cardinals 10. The Cubbies outslugged the Cards but also had too many errors. Bummer!

As a consolation prize, the Orioles beat the snot out of the Yankees. Final score: Baltimore 13 New York 2.

The Cubbies have one more game against St. Looie tomorrow night. Matt Clement is on the mound. Then it's back to the Windy City for inter-league play with the White Sox.

Stay tuned. It's a long way 'til October, gang!
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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 06/23/2004 at 11:07 PM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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DISCLAIMER
Allanspacer

THE SERVICES AND MATERIALS ON THIS WEBSITE ARE PROVIDED "AS IS" AND THE HOSTS OF THIS SITE EXPRESSLY DISCLAIMS ANY AND ALL WARRANTIES, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, TO THE EXTENT PERMITTED BY LAW INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO WARRANTIES OF SATISFACTORY QUALITY, MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE, WITH RESPECT TO THE SERVICE OR ANY MATERIALS.

Not that very many people ever read this far down, but this blog was the creation of Allan Kelly and his friend Vilmar. Vilmar moved on to his own blog some time ago, and Allan ran this place alone until his sudden and unexpected death partway through 2006. We all miss him. A lot. Even though he is gone this site will always still be more than a little bit his. We who are left to carry on the BMEWS tradition owe him a great debt of gratitude, and we hope to be able to pay that back by following his last advice to us all:
  1. Keep a firm grasp of Right and Wrong
  2. Stay involved with government on every level and don't let those bastards get away with a thing
  3. Use every legal means to defend yourself in the event of real internal trouble, and, most importantly:
  4. Keep talking to each other, whether here or elsewhere
It's been a long strange trip without you Skipper, but thanks for pointing us in the right direction and giving us a swift kick in the behind to get us going. Keep lookin' down on us, will ya? Thanks.

THE INFORMATION AND OTHER CONTENTS OF THIS WEBSITE ARE DESIGNED TO COMPLY WITH THE LAWS OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. THIS WEBSITE SHALL BE GOVERNED BY AND CONSTRUED IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE LAWS OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA AND ALL PARTIES IRREVOCABLY SUBMIT TO THE JURISDICTION OF THE AMERICAN COURTS. IF ANYTHING ON THIS WEBSITE IS CONSTRUED AS BEING CONTRARY TO THE LAWS APPLICABLE IN ANY OTHER COUNTRY, THEN THIS WEBSITE IS NOT INTENDED TO BE ACCESSED BY PERSONS FROM THAT COUNTRY AND ANY PERSONS WHO ARE SUBJECT TO SUCH LAWS SHALL NOT BE ENTITLED TO USE OUR SERVICES UNLESS THEY CAN SATISFY US THAT SUCH USE WOULD BE LAWFUL.


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GNU Terry Pratchett


Oh, and here's some kind of visitor flag counter thingy. Hey, all the cool blogs have one, so I should too. The Visitors Online thingy up at the top doesn't count anything, but it looks neat. It had better, since I paid actual money for it.
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