Saturday - April 29, 2006

The Homer Simpson Trophy

The Homer Simpson Trophy is presented on rare occasions to those individuals who have excelled at producing a “DUH! Moment”. The trophy today is being awarded to the US Airways pilot who tried to land with the emergency brakes set on his landing gear. I would give large amounts of money to hear the sounds from the cockpit voice recorder during this landing. I suspect it includes a lot of “OH S**T!” comments. Here’s to you, Captain _______ (name withheld pending notification of next of grin). DOH! Check the pics below for the hilarity. If you’re interested, there are even more juicy pics of this screeching landing at CheckRide.com.

Posted by The Skipper     on 04/29/2006 at 11:32 AM   
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Saturday Silliness

Carefully stare at the picture below. Time yourself as to how long you can look at it without having to turn away, rub your eyes and shake your head. If you can’t make it more than five seconds - you’re still drunk. From five to fifteen seconds - you’re badly hungover. Fifteen seconds to thirty seconds - still not safe to drive anywhere. More than thirty seconds - you’re good to go after one more cup of coffee. Thank you for taking the test. Now try not to do it again on Saturday night, OK?

Posted by The Skipper     on 04/29/2006 at 10:27 AM   
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   Friday - April 28, 2006

National Day Of Protest

If the criminals from Mexico can do it, we can too. Since they are hijacking next Monday (May Day - when all commies party down), I feel it only fair that WE, THE PEOPLE OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA should also have a day of protest against all the Mexicans who break our laws and spit in our face, demanding “amnesty”, free medical care, free education and free tacos. Thanks to a suggestion from one of our readers here, I am hereby declaring Next Friday, May 5 an Official Day Of Protest. It will be known as:

• Boycott all Mexican restaurants (including Taco Bell).


• Whenever you encounter anyone speaking Spanish in public start shouting “BLAH! BLAH! BLAH! BLAH! ...” as loud as you can.


• If you call a business and get the “Press 1 for Spanish, Press 2 for English ...” message - press “3” over and over and over and over.


• Fly a Mexican flag upside down (it looks almost exactly the same because their flag really sucks).


• Mow your own grass, cook your own food (steaks on the barbee will do nicely), wash your own car - do all the jobs Americans “don’t want to do”.


• Send your Congressman an e-mail protesting the illegal aliens. In Spanish.

Feel free to add more ways of protesting this national disgrace. Let’s all join in one week from today and shout from the rooftops:

Posted by The Skipper     on 04/28/2006 at 01:46 PM   
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   Wednesday - April 26, 2006

Mr. Clean

This one is for all the ladies in the audience out there. Guys, don’t bother to click the link. Only the gals can properly appreciate this - unless you’re a guy who swishes when he walks (not that there’s anything wrong with that). Mheh-heh ...

Posted by The Skipper     on 04/26/2006 at 03:22 PM   
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   Tuesday - April 25, 2006

And The Winner Is …

British Beauty Contest Winner	American Beauty Contest Winner

Posted by Ronald Reagan's Ghost     on 04/25/2006 at 02:46 PM   
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   Tuesday - April 18, 2006

What’s In A Name

Have you ever wondered what your name really means? Visit the largest database of names on the internet at NameCentral.com and look up your name (first and/or last) and find out for yourself. My name is of Celtic origin and translates to ”handsome warrior”. Mehe-heh ....

Posted by The Skipper     on 04/18/2006 at 10:46 AM   
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   Saturday - April 08, 2006

In The Beginning …

Just over 60 years ago, this little fellow shown taped to the log below became the ancestor of millions of terrorists who have plagued computer programmers for over 60 years now. This “Lord Of The Flies” was discovered by Admiral Grace Murray Hopper (who later developed the evil programming language, COBOL) trapped between points at Relay # 70, Panel F of the Mark II Aiken Relay Calculator while it was being tested at Harvard University, 9 September 1945. The operators affixed the moth to the computer log, with the entry: “First actual case of bug being found”. They put out the word that they had ”debugged” the machine, thus introducing the term “debugging a computer program”.

Unfortunately for mankind, the creature had already spawned and left behind numerous prodigy that spread quickly through the new machines in a manner reminiscent of a Biblical plague that Moses would have been proud of. Numerous attempts have been made to eradicate this evil species of machine terrorist with absolutely no success whatsoever. Entire legions of computer scientists have spent their lives devising new computer languages designed to shield software from these creatures (anyone remember ADA?), all to no avail. Decades have been spent in laboratories designing methodologies like the Capability Maturity Model and ISO-9000 to keep these radical suicide bombers at bay. It has been an exercise in futility.

No, mankind is doomed to defeat at the hands of these invaders into our computer companions. Even now, these creatures have bridged the gap between machine and man, inflicting their malicious logic defects into human beings, the most blatant example of which are Liberals, Leftists, Democrats, the French, Arabs and OldCatMan. The enemy has taken the fight to our very doorsteps. Our fellow human beings are being infected by these malicious organisms. What can you do? Easy. Find a Liberal, Leftist, Democrat, Frenchman, Arab (or OldCatMan) and rip their skull open. Then lean over the gaping gray matter and yell “SHUT THE F**K UP”. Note: repeated treatment may be necessary for some of these infected humans (like Z-Woof). Proceed with caution.

Posted by The Skipper     on 04/08/2006 at 03:22 PM   
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   Thursday - April 06, 2006

Optical Illusion Du Jour

Are the wheels turning?

Background – In the image above the strong (and beautiful) rotation of the “wheels” occurs in relation to eye movements. On steady fixation the effect vanishes.

Interesting notes about this illusion:

• Even when fixating steadily, illusory motion occurs on appearance/ disappearance
• Illusion does not depend on color
• Rotation direction depends on the polarity of the luminance steps

Posted by Drew458     on 04/06/2006 at 04:34 PM   
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   Wednesday - April 05, 2006

Optical Illusion Du Jour

Below is a cute little illusion.  Which is lighter, square “A” or square “B”?

Below the fold for the answer

Posted by Drew458     on 04/05/2006 at 04:37 PM   
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   Saturday - April 01, 2006

Victoria’s Secrets

In keeping with our fine tradition of bringing you the best in entertainment for gentlemen on April Fools Day, we present the following sexy, sultry, sensuous ... erh ... uh ... “goddess”. Yeah, “Goddess”! That’s the ticket .... Click the image of Victoria below to begin your journey into one ... erh ... uh ... “Goddess’s” secrets ....

Posted by The Skipper     on 04/01/2006 at 05:13 PM   
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The Official April Fools Day Thread

Posted by The Skipper     on 04/01/2006 at 04:43 AM   
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   Friday - March 31, 2006

T.G.I.F.

Posted by The Skipper     on 03/31/2006 at 05:03 AM   
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   Thursday - March 30, 2006

Spring Forward

This Sunday, April 2! Instructions For Adjusting Your Clock For Daylight Saving Time 1. Bend over the clock and plant feet firmly. 2. Grasp sides of clock firmly with both hands. 3. Lift clock off ground approximately 1/4 inch. 4. Carefully rotate clock around center to the LEFT by 30 degrees. 5. Slowly lower clock back onto ground. Congratulations! Your clock is now set to Daylight Saving Time.

Posted by The Skipper     on 03/30/2006 at 02:28 PM   
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   Sunday - March 26, 2006

Friends

Soldier Returns From Iraq To Surprise
_{March 26, 2006}

SOUTH BEND, Ind. (AP)—An Indiana National Guard soldier who spent a year in Iraq returned home to a big surprise: In his absence, his friends had transformed his rusted 1967 Plymouth Barracuda into a deep blue, chrome-trimmed car lover’s dream.

Spc. Bob Metcalf, who had stored the rusted, hoodless, fenderless Barracuda in his brother’s garage, left for Iraq last year. He had planned to someday fix up the old muscle car.

Friends of the 39-year-old reservist kept their restoration work secret until Friday night. That’s when Metcalf wandered into South Bend’s Joyce Center to see the Cavalcade of Wheels auto show with his pals. Metcalf, who returned recently from Iraq, was incredulous when his friends told him that the gleaming deep blue car with red and white stripes sitting under a spotlight was his old car sporting a new look.

“I don’t believe it. This is incredible,” he said, looking around at the crowd of volunteers and cameras that greeted him at his new ride. Sean Burns, a friend of the Army National Guard soldier, turned over the keys to him. “Why don’t you go start it up?” he told Metcalf.

The hot-rodded Chrysler 318 V-8 under the hood awoke from its slumber with Metcalf’s first turn of the key, settling into a loping rumble. Metcalf’s friends and family had waited a long time to see him sitting in his polished car. Dozens of volunteers had endured six months of busted knuckles, grease and sweat to finish a project they called “one soldier’s dream.”

Metcalf, a veteran of more than 20 years in the service, had shipped out to Mosul, Iraq, last year for what was originally supposed to be two years in Iraq, but was later cut to one.

After he left, Burns and several of Metcalf’s other friends pitched in with work, parts, and cash to make the Barracuda restoration project a reality. They toiled until the early morning hours behind the roll-up steel door in a Mishawaka workshop, fueling up with caffeine and pizza as they worked their magic on every nut and bolt of the old car.

- More on “friends” here ...

Posted by The Skipper     on 03/26/2006 at 11:11 AM   
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Not that very many people ever read this far down, but this blog was the creation of Allan Kelly and his friend Vilmar. Vilmar moved on to his own blog some time ago, and Allan ran this place alone until his sudden and unexpected death partway through 2006. We all miss him. A lot. Even though he is gone this site will always still be more than a little bit his. We who are left to carry on the BMEWS tradition owe him a great debt of gratitude, and we hope to be able to pay that back by following his last advice to us all:

1. Keep a firm grasp of Right and Wrong
2. Stay involved with government on every level and don't let those bastards get away with a thing
3. Use every legal means to defend yourself in the event of real internal trouble, and, most importantly:
4. Keep talking to each other, whether here or elsewhere

It's been a long strange trip without you Skipper, but thanks for pointing us in the right direction and giving us a swift kick in the behind to get us going. Keep lookin' down on us, will ya? Thanks.

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