Thursday - March 02, 2006

Not The Photo Du Jour

Now before you crack up and hurt yourself, remember that we all have pictures of ourselves in our younger years that are best kept hidden away. Unfortunately for Bill O’Reilly the BMEWS Super-Sleuth Team has scored another one in the war to make everyone look goofy for fifteen minutes.

Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go put a match to several pictures of me in 1972 before Bill decides to strike back and demand full disclosure .... which could possibly result in my losing my reputation as a dashingly handsome, suave, debonair man-about-town ....

Posted by The Skipper     on 03/02/2006 at 12:04 PM   
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   Tuesday - February 28, 2006

Older Than Dirt

Guess who was:

52 years old at the time of the 9-11 attack on America
50 years old on the first day of Y2K
48 years old when Princess Diana was killed in a car crash
46 years old at the time of Oklahoma City bombing
45 years old when O. J. Simpson was charged with murder
43 years old at the time of the 93 bombing of the World Trade Center
41 years old when Operation Desert Storm began
40 years old during the fall of the Berlin Wall
36 years old when the space shuttle Challenger exploded
34 years old when Apple introduced the Macintosh
34 years old during Sally Ride’s travel in space
32 years old when Pres. Reagan was shot by John Hinckley, Jr.
30 years old at the time the Iran hostage crisis began
27 years old on the U.S.’s bicentennial Fourth of July
25 years old when President Nixon left office
23 years old when Alabama Gov. George C. Wallace was shot
20 years old at the time the first man stepped on the moon
19 years old when Martin Luther King Jr was assassinated
16 years old during the Watts riot
14 years old at the time President Kennedy was assassinated
10 years old when Hawaii was admitted as 50th of the United States
8 years old when the Soviet satellite Sputnik 1 was launched
4 years old at the end of the Korean War

(Hint: he is a famous, debonair, handsome ship’s captain who runs a blog)

Click here to find out how old you were when history was made.

Posted by The Skipper     on 02/28/2006 at 11:32 AM   
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   Saturday - February 25, 2006

Saturday Silliness

Posted by The Skipper     on 02/25/2006 at 09:30 AM   
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   Wednesday - February 22, 2006

$365 Million

Eight people ... normal American hard-working meat-packers ... have now had their lives hopelessly destroyed. If not immediately, then within a few months or years. Absolute money messes you up absolutely. Why? Because you haven’t had to practice losing it or managing it. You are a child with matches. Therefore, I am pleased to announce The Skipper Safety Plan. I urge all eight of these fine people to send me their checks and I will take the burden off of them ... absolutely free. I guarantee piece of mind ... yeah, right ...

Eight Claim Record $365 Million Lottery Jackpot
February 22, 2006

LINCOLN, Neb. (AP)

Eight workers at a Nebraska meat processing plant claimed the record $365 million Powerball jackpot Wednesday that, if split evenly, would give each about $15.5 million after taxes. The seven men and one woman all work at a ConAgra ham processing plant near the U-Stop convenience store where they bought the winning ticket last week for Saturday’s lottery.

They ended up with the biggest jackpot in U.S. lottery history. (Related video: More on the lotto win) “I didn’t know what to think,” said Robert Stewart, 30, who said he was a maintenance supervisor before the win. “I still don’t know what to think.” The previous U.S. lottery jackpot record was $363 million for the Big Game, the forerunner of Mega Millions. Powerball’s previous record jackpot, $340 million, was won by an Oregon family in October.

At least three of the winners Wednesday are immigrants. Quang Dao, 56, who like Dung Tran, 34, came to the U.S. from Vietnam about 16 years ago, said he was looking for freedom when he headed for America. He said the lottery would change his family’s life back in Vietnam. Alain Maboussou, a 26-year-old who fled war in Africa’s Republic of Congo, said he planned return to school to work on a degree in business administration.

“I’m going to be working for myself now,” Maboussou said. He said his three-month-old daughter, Katherine, “is going to be happy for the rest of her life.” The winners said they and others often pooled their money together when the jackpots reached $40 million or so. “I don’t think they have a reason to be jealous,” Maboussou said of the rest of his colleagues, “because when it’s a pool day, we ask people to put like in five bucks, so if you wasn’t there or you didn’t put five bucks in, sorry.”

Only three winners quit their jobs when they hit the jackpot. One them, Michael Terpstra, 47, said he wasn’t sure what he was going to do with the money. “Everybody has dreams,” he said. “Buy an island. Buy an airplane. In reality, I’m not a fan of flying and don’t really like water.” The other winners were identified as David Gehle, 53; Chasity Rutjens, 29; and Eric Zornes, 40. The winning numbers were 15, 17, 43, 44 and 48, with a Powerball number of 29, according to the Multi-State Lottery Association of Des Moines, which runs the game for the participating states. Powerball tickets are sold in 28 states, the District of Columbia and the U.S. Virgin Islands.

Posted by The Skipper     on 02/22/2006 at 02:56 PM   
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   Saturday - February 18, 2006

Blazing Saddles

Pardon me but I just cannot stop laughing over this story. It has been said that art imitates life. In this case, life imitates art. Nearly thirty years ago, Mel Brooks broke new ground in comedy with one of the funniest movies ever made. Now we have here a brilliant black policeman who obviously read the script and pulled off one of the best sting operations I’ve heard of in decades. I vote we give this guy the Sheriff Bart Award™.

The Waco Kid: You’ve got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know… morons.

Black Sergeant Was ‘Loyal Klansman’

(Deseret Morning News)

About 25 years ago, Ron Stallworth was asked to lead the Ku Klux Klan chapter in Colorado Springs. Ron Stallworth carries his KKK membership card as a memento.

Problem was, the outgoing Klan leader didn’t know that Stallworth is black. “He asked me to take over the lead because I was a good, loyal Klansman,” said Stallworth, who had been in constant phone contact with the Klan leader while leading a yearlong Colorado Springs police investigation into the Klan.

Stallworth later moved to Utah, where he recently retired after nearly 20 years as an investigator for the Utah Department of Public Safety. He says he’s amazed that no one ever caught on to the investigation he led starting in 1979. After he was offered Klan leadership, he quietly disappeared.

As a memento Stallworth still carries his Klan membership card — signed by David Duke. “It was one of the most fun” investigations, he said. “Everybody said it couldn’t be done.”

Stallworth communicated with Klan leaders using the telephone. A white officer posing as Stallworth went to the meetings. “The challenge for me was to maintain the conversation flow,” Stallworth said. At the same time, Stallworth also led an undercover investigation into the Progressive Labor Party, a communist group that protested at Klan rallies.

Stallworth, of Layton, worked 30 years in law enforcement in four states. Stallworth’s undercover experience and research led him to become a nationally known expert on gang culture. He calls the Klan investigation “one of the most significant investigations I was ever involved in because of the scope and the magnitude of how it unfolded.”

The investigation revealed that Klan members were in the military, including two at NORAD who controlled the triggers for nuclear weapons. “I was told they were being reassigned to somewhere like the North Pole or Greenland,” Stallworth said.

The Klan investigation isn’t the only time Stallworth has been mistaken for a white guy. He’s been contacted by academics about his “scholarly research” on gangs. One such academic “said he was so impressed that a white Mormon in Utah could write such an impressive work on black gang culture.”

Stallworth said he laughed and explained that not only is he not white or Mormon, he started his college career in 1971 and remains about 2 1/2 years shy of his bachelor’s degree.

- There’s more to this hilarious story here ...

Posted by The Skipper     on 02/18/2006 at 05:08 AM   
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   Friday - February 17, 2006

Who Goes There?

Ladies and Gentlemen! We regret to inform you that two readers here, Oink and OldCatMan spent way too much time on the photos of the nuclear explosion in the post below. As a result they were exposed to radiation levels previously unknown to anyone except for a few unlucky souls at Chernobyl.

This radiation has caused serious damage to their DNA, resulting in their becoming physical mutants (pictured below). As you can see they have the ability to change shapes now. Fortunately for us, they’re not too smart about it. Add this to their previously existing mental mutations and I’m afraid we have monsters on our hands. Stay alert! Shoot first and ask questions later!

(Trivial Pursuit: the title of this post refers to a famous science fiction short story - you get 10 points if you can name who wrote it - 20 points if you can name the movie that was made from the story (actually there were two) - and 100 points if you can name the actor who played the creature in the first movie made from the story in the 1950’s)

  

^{- These and more photoshopped creatures can be found at HumanDescent.com ....}

Posted by The Skipper     on 02/17/2006 at 12:59 PM   
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   Wednesday - February 08, 2006

Just Because

Posted by The Skipper     on 02/08/2006 at 01:59 PM   
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The Magic Of Makeup

A little eyeliner, some mascara, a smattering of powder and VOILA! There’s just no end to the magic one can accomplish with a little help from Revlon and Max Factor, is there? I offer as proof three outstanding BEFORE/AFTER shots. Simply amazing, ain’t it ... ?

Posted by The Skipper     on 02/08/2006 at 09:27 AM   
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   Tuesday - February 07, 2006

Ice Age Conspiracy

Two stories to relate to you this morning. The first one comes from a scientist in Russia who says we’re about to enter another little Ice Age due to less heat coming from the sun. I just happened to see this right after getting my weekly updates from Scientific American (more on that below) ....

Scientist predicts ‘mini Ice Age’
ST. PETERSBURG, Russia, Feb. 7 (UPI)

A Russian astronomer has predicted that Earth will experience a “mini Ice Age” in the middle of this century, caused by low solar activity. Khabibullo Abdusamatov of the Pulkovo Astronomic Observatory in St. Petersburg said Monday that temperatures will begin falling six or seven years from now, when global warming caused by increased solar activity in the 20th century reaches its peak, RIA Novosti reported.

The coldest period will occur 15 to 20 years after a major solar output decline between 2035 and 2045, Abdusamatov said. Dramatic changes in the earth’s surface temperatures are an ordinary phenomenon, not an anomaly, he said, and result from variations in the sun’s energy output and ultraviolet radiation.

The Northern Hemisphere’s most recent cool-down period occurred between 1645 and 1705. The resulting period, known as the Little Ice Age, left canals in the Netherlands frozen solid and forced people in Greenland to abandon their houses to glaciers, the scientist said.

SPOTLESS SUN
(SPACEWEATHER.COM)

The sunspot number has been zero for nine consecutive days--the longest stretch of blank suns since October 1996. This is a clear sign that solar minimum has arrived. Solar activity should remain low, although surprises are possible. Scientists track solar cycles by counting sunspots—cool planet-sized areas on the Sun where intense magnetic loops poke through the star’s visible surface.

Very few sunspots were seen on the Sun from about 1645 to 1715 (see chart below). Although the observations were not as extensive as in later years, the Sun was in fact well observed during this time and this lack of sunspots is well documented. This period of solar inactivity also corresponds to a climatic period called the “Little Ice Age” when rivers that are normally ice-free froze and snow fields remained year-round at lower altitudes. There is evidence that the Sun has had similar periods of inactivity in the more distant past. The connection between solar activity and terrestrial climate is an area of on-going research.

Posted by The Skipper     on 02/07/2006 at 11:04 AM   
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Just Because

!Attention!


We interrupt all the bad news about idjits going to jail, burning down embassies, protesting fried chicken and especially those monsters claiming to be “intelligent Democrats” to bring you this gratuitous picture of last Sunday’s Lingerie Bowl.


Looks like a holding call to me.

Five yard penalty.

Still second down ...

Posted by The Skipper     on 02/07/2006 at 05:50 AM   
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   Sunday - February 05, 2006

Toy Story

Posted by The Skipper     on 02/05/2006 at 12:31 AM   
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   Saturday - February 04, 2006

Fifty-Eight States!

The Skipper has taken the liberty of re-drawing the map of North America. Read the story below the map and you’ll understand why. Halliburton already has a secret army in place in Alberta ready to overthrow the government and begin adding territory to the USA, which is about to acquire eight new states. We’re considering requests from Newfoundland and Nova Scotia. You can forget Quebec though. Too many frogs ....

Big Role Seen For Canada Oil Sands
CALGARY, Alberta (CNN)

Canadian oil sands production will be the biggest contributor to new global crude oil supply by the end of the decade as conventional global reserves are depleted, Canadian bank CIBC has predicted. And in an energy market where state-owned firms control a major portion of global daily production, the oil sands deposits provide one of the few remaining growth opportunities for investors, Jeff Rubin, chief economist at CIBC World Markets, said Tuesday.

“All of the net increase in oil production this year is expected to come from non-conventional sources,” Rubin said in a release. “While deep-water oil is the primary source today, we forecast that Canadian oilsands will become the single biggest contributor to incremental global supply by 2010.” Canadian oil industry officials say recoverable western Canadian oil sands reserves equal roughly 175 billion barrels—putting it in second place to Saudi Arabia in terms of oil reserves.

The Canadian Association of Petroleum Producers predicts that oil sands output from western Canada will account for 75 percent of the country’s total crude oil output, up from a current level of about 40 percent. The Toronto-based bank said a study of 164 new oil fields and projects around the world shows that the price of oil will continue to rise over the next three years if global demand does not begin to wane.

Posted by The Skipper     on 02/04/2006 at 10:26 AM   
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   Thursday - February 02, 2006

Bambinator

This is scarey! Robotic deer? Even scarier are rumors of a robotic pig being tested in BFN, Indiana. It is said to be able to talk and converse well enough to fool most ordinary humans over the internet and is being used by the DEA to trick pot smokers into disclosing the location of their secret gardens. Developing ....

Robotic Deer Stops Poachers In The Act
MICHIGAN CITY, Ind. (CBS)

A robotic deer is the newest tool by law enforcement in Northwest Indiana to combat against illegal hunters. As CBS 2 Northwest Indiana Bureau Chief Pamela Jones reports, the robotic deer has a swiveling head, and it’s lifelike enough to stop traffic. But it’s really a decoy being used all over Northwest Indiana, and it’s fooling a lot of suspected deer poachers whom Indiana conservation officers are catching in the act.

Indiana State Conservation Officer Gene Davis said: “[The decoy] is gaining popularity because it’s actually being shot more. The people that are hunting that are seeing it they’re just dumfounded by it. They’re thinking a deer is standing along the road, they’ll get out and take a shot at it.”

The decoy’s neck contains an electric motor. An officer plants in the wood and controls it by remote. And sometimes its placement results in the arrests of up to five poachers a day. It’s enough to make hunters and deer-watchers to a double take.

One passerby said: “Well, at first, I thought it was real. And then, I realized it wasn’t after about 10 seconds.” Even if a hunter only shoots the decoy, he or she may be subject to a fine and criminal charges.

Posted by The Skipper     on 02/02/2006 at 01:08 PM   
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   Wednesday - February 01, 2006

First And Ten

Maxim Decides the Super Bowl

Actually, two half-naked, greased-up girls in a wrestling ring decide Super Bowl XL.

_{(do we really have to add that it is probably NSFW?)}

Posted by The Skipper     on 02/01/2006 at 03:28 PM   
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Not that very many people ever read this far down, but this blog was the creation of Allan Kelly and his friend Vilmar. Vilmar moved on to his own blog some time ago, and Allan ran this place alone until his sudden and unexpected death partway through 2006. We all miss him. A lot. Even though he is gone this site will always still be more than a little bit his. We who are left to carry on the BMEWS tradition owe him a great debt of gratitude, and we hope to be able to pay that back by following his last advice to us all:

1. Keep a firm grasp of Right and Wrong
2. Stay involved with government on every level and don't let those bastards get away with a thing
3. Use every legal means to defend yourself in the event of real internal trouble, and, most importantly:
4. Keep talking to each other, whether here or elsewhere

It's been a long strange trip without you Skipper, but thanks for pointing us in the right direction and giving us a swift kick in the behind to get us going. Keep lookin' down on us, will ya? Thanks.

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