Wednesday - November 03, 2004

Kerry’s Concession Speech

I am listening to it now.

This is what he really means:

“My fellow Americans.  I am a loser.  I can not believe how many of you actually fell for the bullshit (or was it cow shit? I don’t know.  Some call it a flop, I call it a flip) I spewed over the past several months.

I am a lying sack of shit unworthy to be the janitor at a small 5 person office.

I have no experience at anything but with a “pretty boy” running mate and lots of talk I guess I fooled a shitload of ya!

Anyway, I am gonna go slink back to Taxachusetts (or Massatwoshits) and hope I can continue to baffle those morons over there a few more years so I can collect a nice retirement check from you gullible fucks.

Gotta go!  I see a goose that needs shootin’ (y’all didn’t know I could talk like this did ya?)

Well, I am leaving you in the very capable hands of George W. Bush.  I’m not worthy to lick his ass much less be in a race with him.

Hey, did I tell you I served in Vietnam?  Yep, I worked for the Cong!  Um hmmm.  Damned proud of it too!

(hey, don’t tell anyone but soon as I can I am going to ditch this witch, Teresa.  What a ball and chain she’s been on the campaign trail, talking trash, saying stupid crap, making me look silly.)

And my ugly-assed daughter Vanessa?  I hear she’s gonna elope with Chelsea Clinton.  Gotta love those activist judges!!”

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 11/03/2004 at 02:00 PM   
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SWEET!

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/03/2004 at 01:12 PM   
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A Message For Liberals

What should one say if one encounters a Liberal or Democrat today? Interesting question, isn’t it? Think it over and help me prepare a list of things to say to the “disloyal opposition”. Here is my starter list. Feel free to jump right in and add your own suggestions in the comments ....

1- Bwah-hah-hah-ha-ha-ha-ha ....

2- Don’t worry, the flooding will ease after you Liberals quit crying.

3- I have a stockpile of Prozac just for you.

4- Would you like some cheese with that whine?

5- How does it feel to have the American people tell you to go pound sand?

6- I hear Delta is giving away tickets to France to anyone who voted for Kerry.

7- I don’t feel your pain.

8- Misery loves company but I’m tired of your whiney ass after four years.

9- Now will you please just SHUT THE FUCK UP?

10- You dropped your pacifier.

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/03/2004 at 12:39 PM   
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A Message For Europe

Short, sweet, to the point and only two words long:

FUCK YOU!!

Take your “amenable asses” and go pound sand you ungrateful wretches!!!

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 11/03/2004 at 12:28 PM   
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A Message For Terrorists

In case Osama bin Laden, Al Qaeda, Hamas, Hezbullah and the other assorted shit-fer-brains in the Middle East missed it, the American people just let their voice be heard and what they said was .... ”you fuckers are toast. Prepare to be annihilated, bastards”.  Our heros have always been cowboys ....

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/03/2004 at 12:21 PM   
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IT’S OVER!

AP just filed the report.

Fox News just reported in with the concession.

The Guardian (UK) finally tells Brits Bush won after Kerry concedes.

The Irish appear to be happy that Bush won and are announcing Kerry’s concession.

The BBC is extremely confused and can’t figure out what to report.

The Canadians just realized Bush won and went back to drinking bad beer immediately.

Al-Jazeera can’t quite admit Bush won - but they’re trying. Fucking ragheads.

Here is another Red-Blue Map. This one for 2004.

And finally, the Washington Post says Bush won ....

Kerry Concedes Defeat; Bush Wins Second Term

By Dan Balz and Mike Allen
Washington Post Staff Writer
Wednesday, November 3, 2004; 12:03 PM

John F. Kerry conceded the presidential election in a telephone call to President Bush at 11 a.m., ending an overnight drama of counting and calculation over whether there was any way to overcome the president’s margin in the battleground state of Ohio and giving Bush the second term in office that was denied his father 12 years ago.

Kerry plans a 1 p.m. appearance at Boston’s historic Faneuil Hall for a public concession in front of his supporters.

Bush will then appear at 3 p.m. for a victory statement.

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/03/2004 at 11:10 AM   
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Nixon Had Class

It’s true. Doonesbury said so. It’s obvious John Kerry has less class than Nixon .... but we’ve known that for a long time, haven’t we?

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/03/2004 at 11:04 AM   
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What Do We Do Now?

Who do we turn to?  How will we read our tea leaves?

Assuming, of course, that Fuckface does the honorable thing and concedes, what do we do about these now-debunked prognosticating methods? 

You know which ones I mean...................the ones that say:

---If the stock market is down six months prior to an election the incumbent gets the boot.

---If skirt hemlines go up the incumbent gets the boot.

---If the Redskins lose prior to election day, the incumbent gets the boot.

The above were, theoretically correct EVERY SINGLE TIME prior to this election.

Any others?

Goes to show what a Red Sox win will do for ya!

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 11/03/2004 at 09:24 AM   
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Things To Be Happy About

Lots of stuff to be happy about in this election even if Bush loses:

1.  Eleven states BANNED homosexual marriages.

2. Tom “ASSHOLE” Daschle got the boot by John Thune.  It’s nice to know my contributions to his campaign paid off.

3. Louisiana went Republican in a surprise to many who did not expect Vitter to win.  First time a Republican has won there since Reconstruction.

4.  It looks like Mel Martinez beat Betty (Let’s Keep Sami al Arian on the university payroll for 3 years even though we know he has ties to terrorists) Castor.

5.  The pierced face, tattooed, long haired maggot infested, Kerry-voting university crowd did not show up as predicted.  Thanks be to God that the idealism of youth includes apathy.

6. Republicans pick up at leapt 5 more seats in the House.

7.  Republicans can thwart much of what Fuckface will want to do.

Now, the good news if Bush gets Ohio.

1.  He gets to appoint 2 or 3 Supreme Court Justices

2.  He’ll not have Tom “ASSHOLE” Daschle to block his votes

3. He’ll have higher majorities in both houses to stomp the shit out of the Dems.

4. Several members of the Republican party in Hernando county plan on raising hell, making noise and otherwise irritating the shit out of despondent democrats in front of THEIR headquarters!

5.  We can probably start playing COWBOYS and MUSLIMS in earnest now since so many of the fucks voted for Kerry.

Any more?  Did I miss any?

OBTW, S&P futures point to about a 100 point surge in the Dow at the opening bell.

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 11/03/2004 at 09:12 AM   
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So Sad, Too Bad

Musta been a whole lotta this going on in Metrosexual City last night!!

(hat tip to Jeanette!)

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 11/03/2004 at 08:20 AM   
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Blessed Silence

GO ahead.  Turn on your TVs and radios.

Do you hear it?

The slience of NO MORE FUCKING POLITICAL ADS!!!!

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 11/03/2004 at 08:04 AM   
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Still Waiting ….

It’s 7:20am EST and we’re still waiting. Waiting on Hawaii, Michigan, Nevada, New Mexico, Wisconsin and of course .... Ohio. Florida voters can relax. All news networks have called Florida for Bush. NBC, Fox and MSNBC just called the race in Ohio for Bush. Kerry refuses to concede Ohio. Daschle was defeated in South Dakota.

Keep chewing your fingernails. It’s almost over.

The Vote As Of 7:20am EST ....
(candidate, popular vote, electoral vote)

Bush ....... 58,110,151 (51.1%) ......... 249
Kerry ...... 54,577,481 (48.0%) ......... 242

The Washington Post has a list of states and which networks have called the races.

The New York Times has a full breakdown and latest vote counts as they come in.

Update: The Ohio Secretary of State has just declared Bush the winner, saying the number of outstanding “provisional ballots” is not enough for Kerry to overtake Bush. Ohio’s 20 electoral votes gives Bush a 269-242 lead. Only one electoral vote below that magic 270 needed for a win. Kerry still refuses to concede .... what an asshole.

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/03/2004 at 06:20 AM   
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Waiting….Waiting….Waiting…..

Went to bed about 1.

Got up for a visit to satisfy a call of nature and realized no one has called me yet to say that President Bush has won 4 more years.

“Hmmmmmm, Fuckface must be up to something,” I thought.

So now it is 254 to 242 with Iowa, Ohio, New mexico and Wisconsin still up in the air.

Good news?  Looks like Daschole lost.  So Republicans pick up South Dakota.  And apparently also pick up Florida and Louisiana..

So I wait some more.

Headed back to bed.  See you in a few hours.

PRAY!

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 11/03/2004 at 04:18 AM   
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How The Day Went Yesterday

As I already mentioned, I worked in a predominantly Dummycrap precinct.  But let me tell you, the people I worked with were great folks.  The Precinct Clerk called everyone a couple of nights before and arranged for all of us to bring in a different dish and we had “Thanksgiving Dinner” as a result.  When things got slow near lunch, we’d sort of migrate over to the “buffet line” and help ourselves.  Turkey and ham slices, salads, casseroles, pies, the works.  Everything but dressing and gravy and wine.

The day began on an ominous note: when we arrived we were told by the clerk that the number of already filed absentee and early votes totaled 666.  YES!!  The number of the beast!  For those who believe in omens and portents, this might have been disturbing.

As a ballot box inspector I was responsible (along with 2 others) to make sure the voters put their ballots in correctly and that we were able to clear any malfunctions.  Boy!  Did we have malfunctions!!!!  Not mechanical, mind you.  The machines worked perfectly as designed.  The people inserting the ballots into those machines, though, left much to be desired in the intelligence department.

A total of 901 folks came through giving us almost a 65% total turnout.  We had 2 poll watchers.  I believe I know what party they represented and they were “friendlies” but I could not ask them as we could not discuss politics in the precinct.

I was very surprised by the number of young voters and started becoming distressed when I noticed that many of them were of the pierced face, tattooed body, long haired, maggot infested, greasy looking types.  Of course, they had no clue how the process worked and whereas we kept telling them that since we did not want to see how they voted they’d have to keep their ballots inside their secrecy sleeves while inserting the end of said sleeve into the opening of the scanner and then gently pushing their ballot through. Well, they’d fucked it up anyway.  This of course, necessitated we pull their ballots out and we could not help but see who they voted for.  Yep!  Kerry!

Of course, we had Republicans screw the pooch, too, but since I was stereotyping based on appearances I needed to verify who voted for whom.  And I was right.  So naturally I was concerned.  Of course, on the other side of the coin I would see clean cut young people come up and they voted Bush.  Plus lots of Hispanics.  My mood improved throughout the day.

What did not improve was my overall impression of many voters:  so many fucking incompetents!!!  I swear to Christ we need to make people take a test before we allow them into the voting booth.  People spent up to 15 minutes reading ballot amendments which they had absolutely no idea about.  The judges?  Forget it!  We had people coming in who had no clue what precinct they were in.  People voted for Bush, Kerry AND Nader!!!  They also over-voted for our senate races.  Some would make a mark, change their mind, cross it out with an “X” and fill in the circle for their choice FULLY EXPECTING the machine to figure out what they wanted!!!  I kid you not.  One guy actually told me that.  I told him, “sir, we can’t expect machine to determine voter intent.” All I got back in response was a blank stare.

This next little tidbit is sure to give you lots of warm fuzzies:  our precinct is right next door to an assisted living facility.  So the staff would wheel in the residents who often times needed assistance.  When that happens two poll workers need to go help out.  Some can’t write due to Parkinson’s or other conditions so they’d call out who they wanted and we’d fill in their ballots.  That’s OK.  Some had vision problems so we’d read the ballot to them and they’d choose after which one of us would again fill in the circles.  That’s OK, too.

The topper to beat all toppers came when this couple appeared.  Two of us went to the woman.  Two to the man.  I got the woman.  We started with the presidential race.  She went for Kerry.  Then we did the senate race. She looks at us and says, “you choose!” I looked at the Clerk with surprise who told the lady, “sorry, we can’t do that.” So the woman guessed.  The same for the next one. Finally the woman says, “I don’t want to do this anymore” and that was that.  We escorted her to the machine and she put her ballot in.

I know I sound negative but I do not mean to.  However, we have too much of this crap going on.  Can you believe we had people brag about how they “wrote in” the names of their cats for some offices?  Of course you can, right?  And they were RIGHT PROUD of themselves, too!

On a positive note I will readily declare that our supervisor of elections is a great lady who runs a tight ship.  The pollworkers she has are conscientious and honest.  At no point can I remember having seen anything resembling hanky panky or coerced voters or fraud.

It’s just that we are beset with moronic voters.

And not all of it is in Florida.  Read about this nonsense taking place in Pennsylvania.

I still say we are making the voting process too “IDIOT FRIENDLY” and this needs to stop or we’ll have stark, raving loonies in the booths before too long all demanding the “right” to vote.

In the good news department, Michael Moore fled like the cur that he is when there was nothing to “report” in Florida.  Fuckhead.  To bad someone didn’t make him a HUGE greasy spot on I-95.

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 11/03/2004 at 12:17 AM   
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