BMEWS
 
Sarah Palin is allowed first dibs on Alaskan wolfpack kills.

calendar   Saturday - August 01, 2020

Best Idea I’ve Seen All Week

They Have Dairy Or Hog Farms Near Portland And Seattle, Right?

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I gather some of these things can shoot a stream more than 100 yards, and some can handle 5-10% solids.

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(stolen from FeralIrishman)


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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 08/01/2020 at 11:43 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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calendar   Friday - July 10, 2020

Maff Be Raycis

BLM Advocate: 2 + 2 = Cultural Oppression
Straight Outta Compton ... and Straight Outta Orwell’s 1984

This from a PhD candidate. Who is a teacher.

the idea of 2 + 2 equaling 4 is cultural and because of western imperialism/colonization, we think of it as the only way of knowing

Cuz, back in Afrika, when we wuz Kangs an sheet, we din nee no numbas.

Riiiight.

I’m slightly reminded of this old joke ... works for any ethic group you want, but this is the Cajun version ...

A construction site boss was interviewing men for a job, when along came Boudreaux. The boss thought to himself, “I’m not hiring that ole lazy cajun...”

He decided to set a test for Boudreaux, hoping he wouldn’t be able to answer the questions, and he’d be able to refuse him the job without any problems.

The first question the boss asked was, “Without using numbers, represent the number 9.” Boudreaux says, “Dat’s easy,” and draws three oak trees. The boss says, “What the hell’s that?” Boudreaux says, “Tree ‘n’ tree ‘n’ tree makes nine.”

The boss says, “Fair enough.” “Second question, same rules, but this time represent 99.”

Boudreaux stares into space for a while, then makes a smudge on each tree. “Dere ya go, sir,” he says. The boss scratches his head and asks, “How on earth do you get that to represent 99?” Boudreaux says, “Each tree is dirty now! so it’s dirty tree, ‘n’ dirty tree, ‘n’ dirty tree...dat’s 99!”

The boss, now is getting worried he’s going to have to hire him, so he says, “All right, question three. Same rules once again, but this time represent the number 100.”

Boudreaux stares into space again, then shouts, “I got it!” He then makes a little mark at the base of each tree, and says “Dere ya go, sir. 100.” The boss looks at Boudreaux’s attempt and thinking that he’s got him this time.

“Go on Boudreaux, you must be crazy if you think that represents a hundred.”

Boudreaux leans forward and points to the marks at the tree bases, and says, “A little dog comes along and craps by each tree, so now ya got, dirty tree an’ a turd, dirty tree an’ a turd, an dirty tree an’ a turd, which makes a hundred! So when can I start workin’?


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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 07/10/2020 at 03:18 PM   
Filed Under: • HumorStoopid-People •  
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calendar   Friday - June 12, 2020

Yeah, about like that

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But if it stops just one mosquito, then it’s worth it!



~~~~~~~


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That’s a honey of an idea. Except I’d whip up a stencil and label the boxes “Caution: Murder Hornets Inside”


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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 06/12/2020 at 08:08 AM   
Filed Under: • HumorPandemic Pandemonium •  
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calendar   Monday - June 08, 2020

funny bits

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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 06/08/2020 at 05:30 PM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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calendar   Sunday - May 24, 2020

Back To Normal, Florida Man Weekly Stupid

Kidnapping Used To Pass Unconstitutional Roadblock Checkpoint

A Florida man was arrested last week on kidnapping charges after allegedly threatening a 17-year-old girl in a grocery store parking lot and forcing her to drive him and another woman through a coronavirus highway checkpoint into the Florida Keys, authorities said.

Alexander Michael Sardinas, 37, has been charged with kidnapping and false imprisonment and is being held at the Monroe County Jail in lieu of $50,000 bail, according to court records.

He and a woman identified as 43-year-old Michelle Lynne Peterson hailed a taxi to head into the Florida Keys on Thursday but were turned away at the U.S. 1 checkpoint at mile marker 112.5, according to the Monroe County Sheriff’s Office. Despite both living there—Sardinas in Tavernier and Peterson in Islamorada—they lacked the proper identification and paperwork proving either residency or that they held jobs in the Keys, Adam Linhardt, a sheriff’s office spokesman, said.

After the taxi dropped them off on the side of the road, a Florida Highway Trooper spotted them arguing and gave them a “courtesy ride” back to Florida City, Linhardt said, according to the Associated Press.

Later that day, Sardinas approached a 17-year-old girl in a Publix parking lot. Police said the young woman was traveling from her father’s house in Homestead out to her mother’s in Key West, but had made a pit stop at the grocery store around noon. She was targeted because her vehicle had the proper hurricane reentry sticker and a Monroe County license plate that would clear her to pass through checkpoints.

Though there was no evidence Sardinas was armed, the man allegedly threatened to harm the girl if she touched her cellphone, according to the sheriff’s office. The girl then drove Sardinas and Peterson through the checkpoint, showing deputies her license, which has a Florida Keys address.

She later told detectives she did not tell the deputies at the checkpoint she was being held against her will because she was scared. Once cleared to pass, the girl then let Sardinas out at a gas station in Tavernier, drove Peterson to a CVS at mile marker 92, and, when both were finally out of the car, pulled over to call a family member, according to the sheriff’s office. The family then called to report the incident.

Tavernier and Islamorada are already IN the Keys, just not down at the far end, merely 20 miles past Key Largo. So it looks like even general Keys residents aren’t allowed to go out to the end of the island chain? And obviously no regular Floriduh residents either. How on earth is this possibly even slightly legal??

But kidnapping ... that’s a bit much. Especially since they’re already in the damn Keys. Is Key West all that much better than the rest of them? The place is about a whole square mile, isn’t it? WTF.

Geex. Floriduh Man strikes again.

Life is getting back to normal.

UPDATE: Just to make this story even better, Key West is scheduled to reopen next week.

And a general PS for overall Floriduh stupid:

Jessica Haim, who owns five retail shops on Duval Street, filed a lawsuit arguing that the “military-style” roadblock was illegal and ineffective.

Nothing prevented people in the Keys from driving to Miami, getting infected and coming back, her lawyers, Angelo M. Martin and Alan A. Fowler, argued in court papers. Nor were workers who live in other counties tested for illness as they drove through the checkpoint.


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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 05/24/2020 at 10:50 AM   
Filed Under: • HumorStoopid-People •  
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calendar   Wednesday - May 20, 2020

snagged another cute video

Got this one from the comments over at Stoaty’s, via Ace.

This is what a Scottish sports commentator does on his day off. He’s got several of these vids.


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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 05/20/2020 at 08:57 AM   
Filed Under: • AnimalsHumor •  
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calendar   Monday - May 11, 2020

just feeling meme today

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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 05/11/2020 at 07:48 AM   
Filed Under: • FREEDOMHumor •  
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calendar   Saturday - May 02, 2020

Garden Groaner

Around here you have to protect your vegetable garden from critters. Not just a vertical fence, but with a lid too. A steel mesh awning. And so ...

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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 05/02/2020 at 05:41 PM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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calendar   Sunday - April 19, 2020

This joke should go viral

We all have Schrödinger’s Virus now.

Because we cannot get tested, we can’t know whether we have the virus or not.

We have to act as if we have the virus so that we don’t spread it to others.

We have to act as if we’ve never had the virus because if we haven’t had it, we’re not immune.

Therefore, we both have and don’t have the virus. Thus, Schrödinger’s Virus.

If you don’t understand this joke, you’re never allowed to talk about science again.


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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 04/19/2020 at 10:26 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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calendar   Monday - March 30, 2020

your daily tune

We need a remake of an old song. Call it “Rockin Pneumonia and the Boogie Woogie Flu”.

That’s for when you get tired of listening to “Kung Flu Fighting”.

Just don’t spin up “Another One Bites The Dust”.

Sad. I know. But lots of people are doing isolation play lists, some modified to be puns. #MeToo !!


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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 03/30/2020 at 11:28 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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calendar   Saturday - March 28, 2020

uncircled

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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 03/28/2020 at 11:22 PM   
Filed Under: • HumorSports •  
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calendar   Sunday - March 22, 2020

good one

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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 03/22/2020 at 06:44 AM   
Filed Under: • HumorPandemic Pandemonium •  
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calendar   Tuesday - February 18, 2020

how can it be both avocado and egg at the same time?

With AOC, anything is possible.




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shamelessly stolen from Earl of Taint.


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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 02/18/2020 at 10:00 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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double intender

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Why yes, that is the Wall Street bull !


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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 02/18/2020 at 09:19 AM   
Filed Under: • Democrats-Liberals-Moonbat LeftistsHumor •  
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Not that very many people ever read this far down, but this blog was the creation of Allan Kelly and his friend Vilmar. Vilmar moved on to his own blog some time ago, and Allan ran this place alone until his sudden and unexpected death partway through 2006. We all miss him. A lot. Even though he is gone this site will always still be more than a little bit his. We who are left to carry on the BMEWS tradition owe him a great debt of gratitude, and we hope to be able to pay that back by following his last advice to us all:
  1. Keep a firm grasp of Right and Wrong
  2. Stay involved with government on every level and don't let those bastards get away with a thing
  3. Use every legal means to defend yourself in the event of real internal trouble, and, most importantly:
  4. Keep talking to each other, whether here or elsewhere
It's been a long strange trip without you Skipper, but thanks for pointing us in the right direction and giving us a swift kick in the behind to get us going. Keep lookin' down on us, will ya? Thanks.

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Oh, and here's some kind of visitor flag counter thingy. Hey, all the cool blogs have one, so I should too. The Visitors Online thingy up at the top doesn't count anything, but it looks neat. It had better, since I paid actual money for it.
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