BMEWS
 
Sarah Palin will pry your Klondike bar from your cold dead fingers.

calendar   Monday - November 02, 2015

Via Theo’s

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See More Below The Fold

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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 11/02/2015 at 05:24 PM   
Filed Under: • HumorPolitically-Incorrect •  
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calendar   Friday - October 23, 2015

free guns for everyone

Well, free for some one. One. And they probably have to be American, living in the US of A.

But hey, free guns. An AR-15 no less. With just a click of the old mousey.



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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 10/23/2015 at 02:35 PM   
Filed Under: • Guns and Gun ControlHumor •  
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calendar   Sunday - October 18, 2015

I had to snag this

Found it over at American Digest ... a horror story and a great joke, in about 100 words. Superb.


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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 10/18/2015 at 11:12 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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calendar   Friday - August 28, 2015

the meme of mom

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A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard.

The door of his wife’s car was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog.

Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess.

A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall.

In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing.

In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.

He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife.

He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened.

He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door.

As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor.

Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls.

As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pajamas, reading a novel.

She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked, ‘What happened here today?’

She again smiled and answered, “You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world I do all day?”

“Yes,” was his incredulous reply.

She answered, “Well, today I didn’t do it.”


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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 08/28/2015 at 06:51 PM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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calendar   Tuesday - August 25, 2015

at least she wiped it

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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 08/25/2015 at 12:56 PM   
Filed Under: • Democrats-Liberals-Moonbat LeftistsHumor •  
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calendar   Sunday - August 16, 2015

take two and grin


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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 08/16/2015 at 02:02 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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calendar   Sunday - August 09, 2015

Nearly Child Abuse

I saw these in the grocery store the other night. My first thought was what a cruel trick it would be to play on a kid.  Then I figured the little brat probably had it coming, and I started laughing right there. A nearby senior lady was shopping and asked me what was so funny. Look at these I said. Perfect revenge on a bratty grandchild. She laughed too.

“Who wants a yummy Popsicle?”

“I do Grandma, I do I do! Me me me!!!”

“Here you go sugar honey, in a special flavor just for you!”

[Kid attacks ice pop. Lick lick, chomp. Face turns grey, eyes bug out, rushes to sink and yaks it up. Much coughing and staggering around the kitchen holding stomach]

“Ewww gross! What kind of %^!# is this made from?”

“Why it’s kale, Brussels sprouts, and asparagus. I’ve got boxes of them! They said it’s the new flavor kids love!”

“BARF!!!”


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In all fairness, they probably taste OK. But the joke of switching out a sugary treat for a sneaky serving of icky green vegetables tickles my Evil Grand Vizier funny bone. Mwaahahahahaa!


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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 08/09/2015 at 02:08 PM   
Filed Under: • Fine-DiningHumor •  
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calendar   Tuesday - August 04, 2015

Finally We Have An Answer

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

To kill the evil infidel!!!

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ISIS now using ‘suicide chickens’ to kill enemies

The barbaric terror group is using bomb vests strapped to poultry in an effort to blow up enemy strongholds.

Commanders can detonate them via remote control in a sickening addition to the murderous regime’s arsenal.

But experts said the crude devices show the chaotic state of the group who, despite its murderous bravado, is having to deal with supply issues.

The group is running low on ammunition as forces target delivery lines leading to Syria and Iraq.

Fighters are now resorting to making their own bombs and mortar shells using gas canisters and fertiliser smuggled over the border from Turkey.

Photos also show the terrorists using shopping trolleys and arming them with deadly machine guns.

It is believed fighters have no heavy lorries available so have to improvise to transport the weaponry.


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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 08/04/2015 at 08:08 PM   
Filed Under: • HumorWar On Terror •  
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calendar   Wednesday - July 29, 2015

In My Inbox

it’s no joke

I am sorry that I have not been very responsive lately to my E-mails.

I have been somewhat under the weather since my doctors informed me that I have an acute case of

Post-Islamic Stress Trauma with Apologetic Whitehouse Fatigue (PIST-AWF).

For those of you who do not know what that is; PIST-AWF is a newly defined disease that is found to be widespread and highly contagious.

January, 2015 - Doctors at the CDC released a statement disclosing a new disease that has already infected over half of the United States and is anticipated to continue to spread.
The disease itself affects the cells of a person’s entire body then goes dormant.
The disease ravages the body and leaves serious side effects.

These side effects have been labeled as PIST-AWF .

Symptoms include:
* Severe pain of the scalp from pulling your own hair while viewing your president pander to Muslim terrorists.

* Loose bowels from swallowing the fact we elected Obama twice.

* Extreme hunger due to vomiting from nightly seeing terrorists murdering innocent people.

* Bleeding from the eyes. This is not Ebola. It is your eyes reacting to accidentally flipping to a channel that shows Al Sharpton as a legitimate news show host.

If you feel you have Post Islamic Stress Trauma with Apologetic Whitehouse Fatigue, please notify your local election board and place your name on the list for a cure.

It is expected, and sincerely hoped, that the cure will be available in November of 2016. Thanks.

h/t to Steve K wink


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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 07/29/2015 at 12:02 PM   
Filed Under: • HumorObama, The One •  
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calendar   Monday - July 27, 2015

watching you from behind

And the award for the sickest crazy effer of the week goes to ...

[ fairly harmless grossness to follow. you’ve been warned. ]

It all began with one of those “routine traffic stops”. And then ...

See More Below The Fold

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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 07/27/2015 at 01:36 PM   
Filed Under: • CrimeHumorStoopid-People •  
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calendar   Friday - July 17, 2015

have you seen this mouse? avoid but notify the Mounties. they always get their ……

Yes it’s crime. But I could not help but find it funny.

I’ll also be honest. I had this yesterday, have spent some time bedridden, back is out badly so no posts and no desire.
But I had to be up, caught this and thought I just had to post it. But .... I also saw Drew’s post on my flag (CSA) and boyhood hero in Tn and the planned removal of graves etc., became so depressed I couldn’t post this. I had to give it space. I guess for me personally it hits deeper to the bone and I just need to do something else.

Hell of a way to introduce something funny. Sorry folks. 

Canadian police launch man hunt after robber steals from shop wearing mouse head

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Usually when police ask for help when identifying wanted criminals, they ask the public to take a good look at slightly blurry CCTV images in order to name the suspects.

In Canada however, Crime Stoppers and the Barrie Police Service are asking people to “take a really good look the suspect’s clothing.” That’s because an armed and dangerous robber was wearing a giant mouse’s head when robbing a store in Barrie, Ontario.

Store CCTV shows the man, clad all in black, brandishing a knife and not wearing any shoes, entering the shop and walking straight to the counter. He demands money from the store worker, who complies, before the suspect leaves the shop.


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Posted by peiper   United Kingdom  on 07/17/2015 at 10:07 AM   
Filed Under: • CrimeHumor •  
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calendar   Friday - July 10, 2015

black and white

What is the difference between the U.S. Supreme Court and the Ku Klux Klan?









Members of the Supreme Court dress in black robes and scare white people.


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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 07/10/2015 at 11:57 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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calendar   Thursday - July 09, 2015

wish it was a best seller


So, I was walking through the mall, and saw that there was a “Muslim Bookstore.” I was wondering what exactly was in a “Muslim Bookstore” so I went on in.

I was wandering around taking a look and the clerk stopped me and asked if he could help me. I imagine I didn’t look like his normal clientele.

So I asked for a copy of the Australian immigration policy book regarding Muslims.

The clerk said, “Fuck off, get out, and stay out!”

I said, “Yes, that’s the one. Do you have that in paperback?”




sent in by Peiper’s naughty friends


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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 07/09/2015 at 12:59 PM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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calendar   Wednesday - July 01, 2015

potty humor

We were ROFLMAO the first time we saw this one







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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 07/01/2015 at 07:27 PM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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Not that very many people ever read this far down, but this blog was the creation of Allan Kelly and his friend Vilmar. Vilmar moved on to his own blog some time ago, and Allan ran this place alone until his sudden and unexpected death partway through 2006. We all miss him. A lot. Even though he is gone this site will always still be more than a little bit his. We who are left to carry on the BMEWS tradition owe him a great debt of gratitude, and we hope to be able to pay that back by following his last advice to us all:
  1. Keep a firm grasp of Right and Wrong
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  4. Keep talking to each other, whether here or elsewhere
It's been a long strange trip without you Skipper, but thanks for pointing us in the right direction and giving us a swift kick in the behind to get us going. Keep lookin' down on us, will ya? Thanks.

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Oh, and here's some kind of visitor flag counter thingy. Hey, all the cool blogs have one, so I should too. The Visitors Online thingy up at the top doesn't count anything, but it looks neat. It had better, since I paid actual money for it.
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