Tuesday - December 20, 2005

It’s Torture allright

LONDON - Barbie, beware. The iconic plastic doll is often mutilated at the hands of young girls, according to research published Monday by British academics. “The girls we spoke to see Barbie torture as a legitimate play activity, and see the torture as a ‘cool’ activity,” said Agnes Nairn, one of the University of Bath researchers. “The types of mutilation are varied and creative, and range from removing the hair to decapitation, burning, breaking and even microwaving.”

Researchers from the university’s marketing and psychology departments questioned 100 children about their attitudes to a range of products as part of a study on branding. They found Barbie provoked the strongest reaction, with youngsters reporting “rejection, hatred and violence,” Nairn said

“The meaning of ‘Barbie’ went beyond an expressed antipathy; actual physical violence and torture towards the doll was repeatedly reported, quite gleefully, across age, school and gender,” she said.

“The most readily expressed reason for rejecting Barbie was that she was babyish, and girls saw her as representing their younger childhood out of which they felt they had now grown,” she said.

Nairn said many girls saw Barbie as an inanimate object rather than a treasured toy.

I don’t know about other kids, but my girls loved their Barbies to the point of worship.  If their brothers even thought of touching the dolls, screams of anguish were heard throughout the house. 

Posted by Drew458     on 12/20/2005 at 10:13 AM   
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   Sunday - December 18, 2005

Bad Santa

Whatcha gonna do when they come for you? Bad Santa! Bad Santa! Leave it to the Kiwis to come up with newer and weirder ways to party at Christmas (actually, it’s summer down there but who’s quibbling?). At least we get to add a new word to our vocabulary for today ... Santarchy. Which begs the question: what will we call it when the elves go bad ... ? (Elvolution?)

Santas Go on Rampage
In New Zealand City
December 17, 2005, 11:39 PM EST
WELLINGTON, New Zealand (AP)

A group of 40 people dressed in Santa Claus costumes, many of them drunk, rampaged through New Zealand’s largest city, robbing stores and assaulting security guards, police said Sunday.

The rampage, dubbed “Santarchy” by local newspapers, began early Saturday afternoon when the men, wearing ill-fitting Santa costumes, threw beer bottles and urinated on cars from an Auckland overpass, said Auckland Central Police spokeswoman Noreen Hegarty.

She said the men then rushed through a central city park, overturning garbage containers, throwing bottles at passing cars and spraying graffiti on buildings.

One man climbed the mooring line of a cruise ship before being ordered down by the captain. Other Santas, objecting when the man was arrested, attacked security staff, Hegarty said.

The remaining Santas entered a downtown convenience store and carried off beer and soft drinks. “They came in, said ‘Merry Christmas’ and then helped themselves,” store owner Changa Manakynda said.

Alex Dyer, a spokesman for the group, said Santarchy was a worldwide movement designed to protest the commercialization of Christmas. Three people were arrested and charged with drunkenness and disorderly behavior.

Posted by The Skipper     on 12/18/2005 at 02:55 PM   
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   Tuesday - December 13, 2005

See The Disaster Firsthand!

You gotta give these folks credit for coming up with a “unique” idea like this. If you’re into seeing disasters and whole cities rendered uninhabitable then we have the tour for you. Step right up. See the flooded streets, the starving natives, the looted shops. Yes, sir. Come one, come all!

Next Stop in New Orleans:
Disaster Trip For Tourists
NEW ORLEANS (Reuters)

Visitors to New Orleans who once toured the graceful mansions of its Garden District or learned the history of its Mississippi River plantations have a new attraction: The Hurricane Katrina disaster tour. Gray Line New Orleans will begin offering a “Hurricane Katrina Tour - America’s Worst Catastrophe!” to show the ruin that befell the city when the storm hit on August 29, breaching a faulty system of river levees and flooding 80 percent of its neighborhoods.

Gray Line New Orleans normally organizes trips through the city’s historic districts as well as its swamps and spooky cemeteries, but its business has been severely curtailed by the hurricane. The company said the Katrina tour was born of frustration over the government’s slow response to rebuilding. About 10 percent of the $35 ticket price for the three-hour tour will be donated to Katrina relief groups.

“People around the country don’t understand it until they see it firsthand,” Gregory Hoffman, general manager of Gray Lines New Orleans, told Reuters. “We’re going to walk them through what we as locals experienced leading up to and following the hurricane.” Critics say a commercial tour only sensationalizes the city’s suffering, with tens of thousands of residents still dispersed across the United States. Other victims can still be seen on city streets trying to salvage belongings from their wrecked homes.

“There should be tours, but they should be linked with people who are displaced and coming up with a plan of action,” said Corlita Mahr, a hurricane victim who works with the grassroots People’s Hurricane Relief Fund.

- Take a ride on the magic bus and read it here ...

Posted by The Skipper     on 12/13/2005 at 01:41 PM   
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   Sunday - December 11, 2005

Weekend Weirdness

File this one under “T” for “Totally useless news stories that I really didn’t want to know about but couldn’t resist reading after seeing the headline”. Just to place a frame of reference on it, The SUN is Britain’s version of the US’s National Enquirer. Of course I never go to their site to look at the “Page 3” girls. No. Never. Not me ...

Dita: I Love To Be Spanked
(THE SUN - UK)

BURLESQUE artist Dita Von Teese has admitted that she loves being spanked by new husband Marilyn Manson.


Shortly before getting married in Ireland last week the sexy brunette told the New York Daily News: “I’m into bondage.


“I think it’s really fun, and I love playing the part of the damsel in distress. The feeling is amazing when someone spanks me right.”

Posted by The Skipper     on 12/11/2005 at 01:43 PM   
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Russian Crooks Really Suck

Our Russian friends may still be struggling to come to grips with this whole new “capitolism” thing but they seem to have crime down pat. In fact, they have discovered new ways to “beat the house” ... literally. All it takes is the ability to really .... suck ...

Women Hoover $590,000 Out From Casino
December 1, 2005
(PRAVDA)

Two washer women are suspected to have stolen about $590,000 from Korona Casino using vacuum cleaners. The women used powerful vacuum cleaners to “clean” slot machines. The owners of the casino in Kranjska Gora, Slovenia, called the police and reported a theft of a large sum of money. They said the money from slot machines was disappearing in a strange way. But the it was vanishing from the machines at night time when the casino was closed.

The preliminary investigation showed that at least two washer women were cleaning out the casino for several months using their professional equipment. The owners of the casino said that they had suffered the losses of $590,000. However, they could not provide evidence to prove it. All the Korona Casino’s washers were given the sack because of the scandal. Investigation is underway.

Posted by The Skipper     on 12/11/2005 at 01:22 PM   
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   Friday - December 09, 2005

Fat-Fingered Cock-Up

Fat fingered typing costs a trader’s bosses £128m
Times UK Online

CLUMSY typing cost a Japanese bank at least £128 million and staff their Christmas bonuses yesterday, after a trader mistakenly sold 600,000 more shares than he should have.

The trader at Mizuho Securities, who has not been named, fell foul of what is known in financial circles as “fat finger syndrome” where a dealer types incorrect details into his computer. He wanted to sell one share in a new telecoms company called J Com, for 600,000 yen (about £3,000).

Unfortunately, the order went through as a sale of 600,000 shares at 1 yen each.

Wooops. 
From a rival firm:

A trader at a rival firm said: “Someone in that office had to pick up the phone to his boss and authorise the use of billions of company dollars to correct a stupendous cock-up. Not a call you want to be making a couple of weeks before Christmas bonuses.”

I’ve made some typos before, but sheesh.

Posted by Drew458     on 12/09/2005 at 10:02 AM   
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   Tuesday - December 06, 2005

Christmas Lights

Surely by now you’ve heard the story about this amazing house and the mind-boggling Christmas light show. No? What, have you been hiding under a rock for the last month? This is what happens when you turn an electrical engineer loose with thousands of Christmas lights, his house, a friendly local FM radio station and all of the above programmed in perfect sync with music from the Trans-Siberian Orchestra. For those in the St. Louis area, the Trans Siberian Orchestra will be in town December 23 at the Savvis Center and tickets are available at TicketMaster.

- View the video of the light show here (turn up the volume real loud) ...

25,000 Lights Dance To Music
DEERFIELD, Ohio (USATODAY)

Is it Christmas overkill or an ultra-cool holiday display? Anyone who drives past the Williams house on Winding Creek Court will have an opinion. Carson Williams’ two-story home is decorated top to bottom with 25,000 Christmas lights - but that’s just the beginning. He used software to program them to 12 minutes of Christmas music. The result is a dancing display of synchronized lights that he says you have to see to believe.

“We had about 300 cars on Friday,” said Carson, 40. “The farthest we’ve had was Michigan. They knew someone in Loveland and they were coming through and stopped to see it.” According to PlanetChristmas.com and other Web sites, light-show technology is becoming more popular. There are even instructions on how to set up a display with Light-O-Rama software.

But a show of this magnitude is still rare enough that Williams has received calls from across the country, including the “Today” show, which is interviewing the family live this morning. “We just can’t stop smiling,” said his wife, Sherry, 39. This is the third year for the show, which gets bigger every season. It took Williams about three hours to program each minute of music.

Williams broadcasts the music from a low-power transmitter in his computer to an FM radio station. A sign tells passers-by to tune in. An electrical engineer for Cincinnati Bell Technology Solutions, Williams said it was time consuming, but worth it. The Internet rocketed the two-story house to instant cyberfame after Williams posted the 2004 light show in February.

It’s been a wild ride for the couple and their two children, Amanda, 10, and Brittney, 11. “Inside Edition” is scheduled to film a segment this afternoon. Miller Brewing Company spent about seven hours Thursday filming footage for an upcoming commercial. “They put fake snow in the yard,” Sherry Williams said.

The Trans-Siberian Orchestra - whose music is featured in the light show - invited the family to attend its Cleveland performance Saturday where they received VIP treatment. “I’m overwhelmed. I am just beside myself,” Sherry Williams said. As of Sunday morning Williams’ original Web site had gotten 848,000 hits and had been picked up by a host of others.

People are pouring into his neighborhood to check it out. By 5 p.m. Sunday - an hour before showtime - cars were already starting to line the street. By 6 p.m., traffic was bumper to bumper. “What time is the light show?” called out two Indianapolis residents on their way to a party in Cincinnati.

- Read the rest of this amazing story here ....

Posted by The Skipper     on 12/06/2005 at 12:50 PM   
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Pizza Justice

Occasionally I run across a story that confirms for me the existence of God, and not only that, he (or she) loves a good joke as much as we do. This thief in Norway found out the hard way that sometimes the bad deeds we perform come back to haunt us rather quickly ....

Customer Gives Pizza Man His Own Card
December 6, 2005, 9:29 AM EST
OSLO, Norway (AP)

When Vegard Sjaastad delivered a pizza near the western Norwegian town of Aalesund, there was something familiar about the customer’s credit card. It was his card, and had been stolen the day before. “It was like I met myself in the doorway,” the 24-year-old said by telephone Tuesday. “It was my picture on the back of the card.”

Sjaastad, who manages a Peppes Pizza restaurant, his drivers license and his Visa card stolen from his car on Saturday night at his father’s house. He canceled the card, and reported the theft. He was training a new driver on Monday, and they delivered the pizzeria’s ‘Film Package:” a pizza, soft drinks, and the film “Mr. and Mrs. Smith” on DVD.

A man with a credit card answered the door, and clearly did not recognize Sjaastad from the picture embossed on all Norwegian Visa cards. “I wasn’t going to play hero. I’m pretty calm by nature. I just accepted the card and said ‘I hope you enjoy the meal,’ as we always say,” he told The Associated Press.

With the address from the order form in hand, Sjaastad called the police to give an exact location of the suspects. “I figured they could enjoy the pizza and film, as long as it lasted,” he said. Police arrived about 30 minutes later, arrested three people, and recovered suspected stolen goods, at least some of it Sjaastad’s. “I expect to get my stuff back tomorrow,” he said. “This is just great. What you might dream of.”

Posted by The Skipper     on 12/06/2005 at 11:34 AM   
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   Friday - December 02, 2005

Word For The Day: SEXSOMNIA

I couldn’t make this up. No way. No how. You gotta admit, however, it makes a fantastic defense case ....

“Sexsomnia”
TORONTO (Reuters)

The Canadian province of Ontario plans to review a court decision that acquitted a man of sexual assault charges because he suffers from “sexsomnia” and was asleep at the time of the incident. The Office of the Attorney General, which oversees the province’s prosecutions, said on Thursday it needs to research its options for an appeal because of the strange circumstances of the case.

“This matter will be carefully considered to determine our next steps,” said Brendan Crawley, a spokesman for the Attorney General. Jan Luedecke, 33, was acquitted of sexual assault charges on Tuesday because he said he was asleep during the attack. A sleep expert testified that Luedecke suffers from a disorder that causes sexsomnia—involuntary sexual behavior during sleep—which he had experienced before.

The court heard that Luedecke and the female victim met at a party. She testified she fell asleep and woke up to find Luedecke having sex with her. She pushed him away and called the police. Luedecke confessed to police after he discovered was still wearing a condom and realized he had had sex. Canadian media reported that the victim left the courtroom in tears when the verdict was read, and said she would take the case to the highest court possible. The Crown has 30 days to present its appeal.

Posted by The Skipper     on 12/02/2005 at 03:51 PM   
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   Thursday - December 01, 2005

Silliness Alert

Oh, ye of such little faith! Listen up! For the last time, I want to make this perfectly clear .... AMERICA DOES NOT HAVE A MONOPOLY ON IDJITS! Yes, believe it or not. There are morons all over the planet and they’re wasting precious oxygen. Take the people described below ... especially the two “intellectuals” in the picture. I ask you ... what would we do for entertainment if these idiotarians were not around? We’d probably have to go back to whoopee cushions and fake dog crap to get a good laugh now and then. So whenever you get a chance, encourage these idjits. They’re a barrel of laughs, especially when they become so stoopid they manage to take themselves out of the gene pool ....

Animal Rights Activists Arrested in Wellington
NEW ZEALAND (SCOOP)

Three Wellington animal rights activists were arrested this morning after locking themselves to a truck from a local factory farm. The truck belongs to Premier Bacon company, which intensively farms and slaughters pigs in Carterton. Protestors locked themselves to the truck while the driver was making deliveries to a central city cafe. About twenty other protestors also joined the action, urging the large numbers of spectators and passers-by to go cruelty free this christmas.

More than 800,000 pigs are farmed for slaughter in New Zealand each year. Over 600,000 of these pigs are confined in factory farms, where they have no access to fresh air, sunlight or open space. They are housed in either individual crates or crowded concrete pens. At the end of this the pigs are taken to a slaughterhouse, where they are shot with a electric bolt gun and then killed.

After about 40 minutes of being locked to the truck, police cut the activists from the truck and arrested them. The two protesters locked to the front of the truck have been charged with ‘disorderly behaviour’ and ‘unlawfully interfering with a motor verhicle’, and the third, who was locked on top of the truck, was charged with ‘disorderly behaviour’ and “unlawfully gets upon vehicle”.

All arrestees have now been released.

Posted by The Skipper     on 12/01/2005 at 06:26 AM   
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   Tuesday - November 29, 2005

Total Bizarreness Award Winner

(- Ladies and gentlemen, we apologize but The Skipper is completely speechless. In fact we had to sedate him to keep him from breaking a rib laughing at this asshat in the story below. We promise to have him back in shape in a short time. Please bear with us. Your cooperation is sincerely appreciated. Kindly enjoy the absurdity described below and try not to take it too seriously. Life is a joke, after all. -)

Argument Over Beer, Spaghetti
Leads To AK-47 Shooting
ORLANDO, Fla. (WFTV)

An Orange County man is in jail, accused of trying to shoot his roommate with an AK-47. Their fight started after an argument over a beer and a plate of spaghetti. Investigators say David Fung-Cap just wanted a beer. “A beer. A beer. You know what, he was like, you didn’t get me my beer. I was like, what are you talking about?” explained roommate Terah Mills.

Mills wanted some of Fung-Cap’s spaghetti, and when neither would help the other, things got ugly. Fung-Cap went for his AK-47 and opened fire. “Four times he shot at me. If it’s my time to go, it’s my time to go,” Mills said. Mills told Channel 9 he managed to wrestle the assault weapon away from his crazed roommate and left the apartment to get help from sheriff’s deputies, who were already arriving. But then Mills accidentally fired another shot. The deputies thought he was aiming at them.

No one can explain how, out of the five high-powered rounds fired in a densely populated apartment complex, not one person was hurt. “I want my grandparents and parents to know that I love them and I would like a shirt and a cigarette and some shoes please,” Fung-Cap said while being taken into custody.

Investigators determined Mills was the victim. Now he’ll keep the apartment, the beer and the food and, in the future, he said, he’ll choose his roommates more carefully. “This guy’s 25 years old. He’s a grown man, just like me,” Mills said. Deputies said there was nothing illegal about the AK-47, except for the fact that it was fired. Now it’s the property of the Orange County Sheriff’s Office.

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/29/2005 at 08:54 PM   
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   Sunday - November 27, 2005

Nyet, Homer!

Just when you thought you had seen the most ridiculous lawsuit of all time, along comes a Russian who is offended by ... Homer Simpson. My guess is it was Krusty The Clown who really ticked this Russki off ... or maybe it was Sideshow Bob. Then again, we all know Marge is a real slut with next-door neighbor Ned Flanders when Homer isn’t looking .... which is why Bart deals drugs and Lisa runs a prostitution ring. And Maggie? Don’t get me started on that little tart ....

Simpsons Row Heads to European Court of Human Rights
(ANANOVA)

A Russian lawyer plans to take his case against The Simpsons to the European Court of Human Rights. It comes after a Moscow Court rejected Igor Smykov’s appeal to have the show banned from Russian TV.

Mrr Smykov wanted to have the cartoon series taken off the air in Russia, or at least shown at a later time, claiming it promoted drugs, violence and homosexuality.

He also demanded £6,000 in compensation from TV channel REN-TV saying the show had morally damaged his nine-year-old son. But the Moscow City Court rejected his appeal and Smykov says he now plans to take the case to European Court of Human Rights in Strasbourg.

Court Rules for Simpsons Cartoon
MOSCOW (ST PETERSBURG TIMES)

After spending a day in court watching cartoons, a Moscow judge on Friday rejected a lawsuit brought against RenTV for broadcasting two American programs that the plaintiff said had piqued his young son’s interest in cocaine and prompted the child to insult his mother. The Khamovniki District Court judge rejected the claim by Igor Smykov, who filed the suit almost three years ago claiming that the cartoon series “The Simpsons” and “The Family Guy” were morally degenerate and promoted drugs, violence and homosexuality.

Smykov sued the channel in June 2002, asking for compensation of 50,000 rubles, which was eventually increased to 300,000 rubles ($10,770). He also demanded that the station be banned from airing the two programs or at least be required to show them later in the evening. “The Simpsons,” which RenTV still runs, is a popular and sophisticated cartoon series that chronicles the adventures of the Simpson family, while “The Family Guy,” known in Russia as the “Griffins,” is darker. Its characters include a talking dog and an evil-genius baby with ambitions of world domination and homicidal inclinations toward his mother.

Smykov said that his son Konstantin, who was 6 in 2002, approached his parents after watching an episode of “The Family Guy” and asked them what cocaine was. After he was reprimanded, Konstantin called his mother a toad, Smykov said. The suit alleged that RenTV, by broadcasting the two programs, was interfering with a child’s right to a normal, healthy childhood. But Judge Lyubov Dednyova was apparently not impressed by the evidence, which included video recordings of several of the offending episodes.

Smykov was not present in the courtroom Friday. RIA-Novosti reported that he had appeared for the start of the day’s session drunk. He sounded distraught when reached by telephone at his home that afternoon. “I am shocked to the depths of my soul,” Smykov said. “I cannot even talk. It is scary. I cannot understand why no one wants to defend the children.” Smykov, who explained his absence during Friday’s proceedings by saying he “could not take it” if he lost, said he nevertheless had expected to win. “I did not care about the money,” he said. “I was hoping to set a judicial precedent.”

Smykov and his lawyer, Larissa Pavlova, said they would appeal the decision. RenTV lawyer Viktor Zinovyev looked relieved as he lit up a cigarette outside the courthouse Friday afternoon. “This was the absolutely correct decision,” he said. “There could not be any other decision consistent with the law. Parents above all should decide what a child watches. The government cannot decide that for parents.”

The decision had been expected Thursday, but the plaintiff introduced more evidence in the form of video recordings of several episodes of the two shows. The judge and both sides, along with representatives of the Federal Drug Control Service, spent most of Thursday’s session watching the cartoons on a television placed in front of the judge’s bench. Reporters in the courtroom could not see the screen and simply listened to the audio tracks, while Pavlova and Zinovyev traded barbs.

As evidence that “The Simpsons” promoted homosexuality, the plaintiff played for the judge an episode called “Homer’s Phobia,” in which the family befriends a local gay businessman. Homer Simpson is scared that his son Bart will become gay if he spends time with John, but in the end he learns to accept the businessman. The court also watched a “Family Guy” episode titled “If I’m Dyin’ I’m Lyin,’” in which the buffoonish Peter Griffin lies and says his son is dying in order to prevent his favorite television show from being canceled.

“You call this a normal family,” Pavlova snapped at Zinovyev. Several of the trial participants were laughing during the screening, including one woman from the Moscow branch of the Federal Drug Control Service, who went red in the face trying to hold in her guffaws. The involvement of the drug police in the case could have been far from funny for RenTV, one of the last bastions of critical news coverage in the country. The service presented as evidence for the plaintiff expert opinions from linguists that the two programs contained language that promoted drugs.

RenTV has already received one warning from the federal service that oversees the mass media. The service issued the warning in November for what it deemed drug propaganda on the television show “Priznaki Zhizni,” or “Signs of Life,” with host Artyom Troitsky. Under Russian law, a second warning could result in the channel having its license revoked. RenTV spokeswoman Maria Olshanskaya said the channel was “obviously satisfied” with the court decision.

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/27/2005 at 10:15 AM   
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   Thursday - November 24, 2005

There She Goes …

Now you’re talkin’! Women behind bars. Swimsuit contests. Handcuffs and whips. *sigh* I wonder if any of these “ladies” will be able to stand up in front of the judges and say with a straight face, “I want to use my title to spread the message of peace and love and make the world a better place.” Or maybe it would be more like, “Youse better vote for me or my Uncle Miguel will come visit you with some of his assistants. Got That?” If only we could convince Simon from American Idol to go down there and be the judge for this pageant .... and let the girls have access to him after the judging. Heck, I’d pay to watch that ....

Brazil to Crown Miss Penitentiary
SAO PAULO, Brazil (AP)

Like beauty pageant contestants everywhere, Caroline Goncalves hoped a victory could launch her modeling career. But she’d be satisfied if it helps shave some time off her prison sentence. “This will put me a little closer to getting out of here,” the 25-year-old convict said Thursday as stylists tugged at her long blond hair and put the finishing touches on her penciled-in eyebrows.

The sweltering heat inside the Carandiru women’s detention center was only made worse by the dozens of hair dryers working overtime, but the 40 contestants from 10 prisons around Sao Paulo didn’t seem to mind. The women, serving sentences for everything from armed robbery to drug trafficking, were vying to be named Miss Penitentiary 2005—a title that brings a 350-real (US$160, euro135) prize and a break from dreary routine.

“Afterward, we’re going to be able to talk to people from (fashion) magazines,” said a clearly nervous Goncalves, who is serving five years and four months for assault with a deadly weapon. Last year’s winner, Fernanda Maria de Jesus, gained early release months after her victory, but prison officials insist the shortened sentence had nothing to do with her winning the title.

Prison officials came up with the idea of a beauty contest last year as a way of trying to boost inmates’ self confidence. “It helps their self esteem. It helps them feel human. It shows that they’re capable people, that independent of the crime, they are a part of society,” said Irani Torres, director of a prison in the city of Rio Claro.

The contest is actually more than just a beauty pageant. Judges include celebrities, soccer players and journalists, and there are prizes in three other categories including writing, public speaking and congeniality. But one of the contestants in the writing competition, 23-year-old Viviane Souza, complained that the beauty pageant winner gets all the attention, including appearances on television shows.

“Last year they just showed the beauty contest winner. Why not show the ones who wrote, the ones who used their minds?” asked Souza, who hopes to become a journalist when she finishes her 21-month sentence for drug dealing. Even so, many were glad for the chance to let their hair down—or to fix it up.

“I’m not bothered by the attention the beauty contest (winner) receives,” said Maria Aparecida de Almeida, 39. “She is raising the banner for all of us. She’s a prisoner and she managed to make it. She helps all of us.” Peru and Colombia also hold beauty contests in prisons. Sao Paulo’s is one of the largest, drawing from its female population of almost 4,000 inmates.

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/24/2005 at 08:36 PM   
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   Wednesday - November 23, 2005

Rest In Peace

Friends, poodles, countrydogs ... lend me your ears. I come here today to bury the ugliest f**king dog that ever lived - not to praise him. Sam was a good dog. He was the perfect guard dog since no burglar could bear to look at him for more than a few seconds. We will miss his ugly face but we know that in the end .... even ugly dogs go to heaven. Sic transit canum mundi ....

Sam (1990-2005)
SANTA BARBARA, Calif. (AP)

Sam, the tiny dog whose hairless body and crooked teeth earned him a reputation as the World’s Ugliest Dog, has died. The pooch died Friday, just short of his 15th birthday, his owner said. “I don’t think there’ll ever be another Sam,” Susie Lockheed said, adding: “Some people would think that’s a good thing.”

Sam won the ugliest dog contest at the Sonoma-Marin Fair this summer for the third year in a row. The pedigreed Chinese crested had made appearances on TV in Japan, radio in New Zealand and in Britain’s Daily Mirror tabloid. He also had met Donald Trump on a talk show set.

Lockheed said she initially was terrified of Sam when she agreed to take him in as a rescue dog six years ago on a 48-hour trial basis. Although she fell in love with him, his appearance repulsed her then-boyfriend and prompted the man to break up with her.

Later, however, Sam became a matchmaker by bringing together Lockheed and her current beau, who saw a picture of the two on an online dating site. Lockheed said she had Sam euthanized after she learned Sam’s heart was failing. She said she’s felt a little lost ever since, and is sleeping with Sam’s favorite toy—a stuffed bear he picked up and carried home.

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/23/2005 at 11:53 AM   
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THE SERVICES AND MATERIALS ON THIS WEBSITE ARE PROVIDED "AS IS" AND THE HOSTS OF THIS SITE EXPRESSLY DISCLAIMS ANY AND ALL WARRANTIES, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, TO THE EXTENT PERMITTED BY LAW INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO WARRANTIES OF SATISFACTORY QUALITY, MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE, WITH RESPECT TO THE SERVICE OR ANY MATERIALS.

Not that very many people ever read this far down, but this blog was the creation of Allan Kelly and his friend Vilmar. Vilmar moved on to his own blog some time ago, and Allan ran this place alone until his sudden and unexpected death partway through 2006. We all miss him. A lot. Even though he is gone this site will always still be more than a little bit his. We who are left to carry on the BMEWS tradition owe him a great debt of gratitude, and we hope to be able to pay that back by following his last advice to us all:

1. Keep a firm grasp of Right and Wrong
2. Stay involved with government on every level and don't let those bastards get away with a thing
3. Use every legal means to defend yourself in the event of real internal trouble, and, most importantly:
4. Keep talking to each other, whether here or elsewhere

It's been a long strange trip without you Skipper, but thanks for pointing us in the right direction and giving us a swift kick in the behind to get us going. Keep lookin' down on us, will ya? Thanks.

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