Saturday - January 22, 2005

Barking Moonbat Of The Week Award

Not satisfied to watch Dan Rather go down in flames, ABC News has decided to wage all out war against President Bush. During the inauguration, they planned to cut from the parade to show a funeral of a soldier who had been killed in Iraq. They hunted for several days to find a funeral scheduled for Thursday. Then when they were caught in their little bit of mischief, they tried to cover it up. BTW, did you know Peter Jennings is is a Canuck? Blame Canada!

Posted by The Skipper     on 01/22/2005 at 02:37 PM   
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   Sunday - January 16, 2005

Barking Moonbat Of The Week Award

This week’s award goes to one of our readers. This individual sent me a picture of Ms. Olympia, Rachel McLish and asked me to post it with the promise that he would later send a full-body shot of Ms. McLish. Needless to say, this wanker reneged on his promise and now says I posted the picture and that I promised the full-body shot of Ms. McLish and that I should fulfill my promise. In addition, this individual leaves comments that sound rather like he is three or four cans shy of a six-pack (if you know what I mean). So for the first time in our history we are regretfully going to have to “finger” one of our readers ....

Posted by The Skipper     on 01/16/2005 at 01:00 PM   
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   Sunday - January 02, 2005

Barking Moonbat Of The Week Award

We thought about giving this week’s award to Jan Egeland of the UN who accused the US of being “stingy” in providing aid to tsunami victims in Southeast Asia. We also thought about giving it to Kofi Annen for being the usual asshat he normally is. We even flirted with the idea of awarding the prize to Ramsey Clark for agreeing to defend Saddam Hussein. Hell, there were any number of candidates this past week (including Z Woof).

Then we finally voted on it and decided to award the prize to the real culprit in last week’s disaster.

Posted by The Skipper     on 01/02/2005 at 11:30 AM   
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   Saturday - December 25, 2004

Barking Moonbat Of The Week Award

This week’s award winner died just over two thousand years ago. He was a real Barking Moonbat of the first order. He is best remembered for his “Rock The Children” tour as recorded by the Apostle Matthew, Chapter 2:

1 Now when Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea in the days of Herod the king, behold, there came wise men from the east to Jerusalem,
2 saying, Where is he that is born King of the Jews? for we have seen his star in the east, and are come to worship him.
3 When Herod the king had heard these things, he was troubled, and all Jerusalem with him.
4 And when he had gathered all the chief priests and scribes of the people together, he demanded of them where Christ should be born.
5 And they said unto him, In Bethlehem of Judea: for thus it is written by the prophet,
6 And thou Bethlehem, in the land of Judah, art not the least among the princes of Judah: for out of thee shall come a Governor,that shall rule my people Israel.
7 Then Herod, when he had privily called the wise men, inquired of them diligently what time the star appeared.
8 And he sent them to Bethlehem, and said, Go and search diligently for the young child; and when ye have found him, bring me word again, that I may come and worship him also.
9 When they had heard the king, they departed; and, lo, the star, which they saw in the east, went before them, till it came and stood over where the young child was.
10 When they saw the star, they rejoiced with exceeding great joy.
11 And when they were come into the house, they saw the young child with Mary his mother, and fell down, and worshipped him: and when they had opened their treasures, they presented unto him gifts; gold, and frankincense, and myrrh.
12 And being warned of God in a dream that they should not return to Herod, they departed into their own country another way.
13 And when they were departed, behold, the angel of the Lord appeareth to Joseph in a dream, saying, Arise, and take the young child and his mother, and flee into Egypt, and be thou there until I bring thee word: for Herod will seek the young child to destroy him.
14 When he arose, he took the young child and his mother by night, and departed into Egypt:
15 and was there until the death of Herod: that it might be fulfilled which was spoken of the Lord by the prophet, saying, Out of Egypt have I called my son. Hos. 11.1
16 Then Herod, when he saw that he was mocked of the wise men, was exceeding wroth, and sent forth, and slew all the children that were in Bethlehem, and in all the coasts thereof, from two years old and under, according to the time which he had diligently inquired of the wise men.
17 Then was fulfilled that which was spoken by Jeremiah the prophet, saying,
18 In Ramah was there a voice heard, lamentation, and weeping, and great mourning, Rachel weeping for her children, and would not be comforted, because they are not.

Posted by The Skipper     on 12/25/2004 at 01:03 PM   
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   Thursday - December 23, 2004

BMEWS Hits 200k

While no one was looking this blog just reached a milestone. At 2:31pm this afternoon, we had our 200,000th visitor. It only took eleven months. I know who it was but I ain’t tellin’. Nope. Nosiree.

I remember back in the spring Vilmar and I had a $5 bet as to when we would reach 100,000 visitors. I said April and Vilmar bet on September. The bet got hosed up because El Supremo fat-fingered his reply to one of my e-mails and .... I’ll let him tell you about it one day if you can convince him to confess. I still have the $5 bill he sent me, framed and on the wall .... just fer grins.

Blogging may be light over the next few days as El Supremo and yours truly enjoy Christmas a little. I have a new Jeep Grand Cherokee to play with and our Benevolent Dictator has unspecified plans .... something involving the ACLU and dynamite, or something to that effect (he was mumbling in anger).

Anyway, next Monday we will start accepting nominations for the First Annual Barking Moonbat Hall Of Fame. I will post the categories and await your decisions as to who should be in the final voting for enshrinement in the Hall Of Shame (as we’re calling it here).

Update: FYI, this is also our 2760th post. In 354 days. Thats an average of 7.8 posts per day, every day since we started this madness on January 14, 2004. We have not missed a day yet. Vilmar and I both enjoy researching and writing this shit and we thank you all for you patience in reading the shit we write. You gotta admit though .... it’s good shit.

Have a Merry Christmas, All! Cheers!

Posted by The Skipper     on 12/23/2004 at 02:33 PM   
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   Sunday - December 12, 2004

Anniversary ?

In one month, this blog will celebrate its first anniversary. The Barking Moonbat Early Warning System was founded on January 14, 2004 and nearly a quarter of a million readers have enjoyed over 2600 posts in that time. We have not missed a single day of providing you with an entertaining look at the idiotarians in our midst and we have enjoyed every minute of it.

In just a few weeks we will begin voting for the First Annual Barking Moonbat Hall Of Fame. We will have several categories for asshats and fucktards to compete in .... and a giant party here on January 14, 2005 to announce the winners. So, everyone start preparing your list of Barking Moonbat Hall Of Fame nominees.

Posted by The Skipper     on 12/12/2004 at 11:00 AM   
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   Saturday - November 13, 2004

Barking Moonbat Of The Week

Two huge, pus-filled bags of wind who somehow managed to praise Yasser Arafat and called him a great statesman .... in spite of the fact that they’re both supposed to be rational leaders in the Western world. One is leader of a tribe of smelly, cheese-eating surrender monkeys and the other is a peanut farmer who proved he had no nuts while President of the US but has since gone nuts. These two pitiful excuses for national leaders somehow managed to overlook entirely the thousands of people murdered in cold blood at Arafat’s orders. For having their heads so far up their asses that the brown ring is around their waist, we present this award to Jacques Chirac and Jimmy Carter.

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/13/2004 at 09:16 AM   
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   Sunday - November 07, 2004

Barking Moonbat Of The Week

Every asshole who tried their damndest to improperly influence the election last Tuesday with covert acts: Dan Rather, Tom Brokaw, Peter Jennings, Walter Cronkite, Barbra Striesand, Osama bin Laden, Jacques Chirac, George Soros, Hollywood, MoveOn.org, A.C.T., all the Democratic 527 groups, the vandals who destroyed Bush/Cheney offices and signs, Michael Moore, Bruce Springsteen, George Clooney, Martin Sheen, Alec Baldwin, Dixie Chicks, The Guardian, The New York Times, The LA Times, etc., etc. - you all know who you are and we all know you now as LOSERS. So take this award and crawl back to the rocks you hide under and stay there.

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/07/2004 at 06:20 AM   
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   Saturday - October 23, 2004

Barking Moonbat Of The Week Award

This week’s winner was an easy choice. There is a newspaper that personifies the very epitome of Barking Moonbat activity. To make matters worse, this is a foreign newspaper. To make it even worse they decided to ask their readers to try and interfere with the American election by sending e-mails to voters in Ohio recently. But did that satisfy these British Moonbats? Of course not.

They say “only mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the noonday sun”. Methinks these bastards at the Guardian have stayed out in the sun way too long. Particularly after they published this latest article with this quote:

On November 2, the entire civilised world will be praying, praying Bush loses. And Sod’s law dictates he’ll probably win, thereby disproving the existence of God once and for all. The world will endure four more years of idiocy, arrogance and unwarranted bloodshed, with no benevolent deity to watch over and save us. John Wilkes Booth, Lee Harvey Oswald, John Hinckley Jr - where are you now that we need you?

Update: I have just notified the FBI of this blatant attempt to encourage the assassination of President Bush. You can turn in tips to the FBI at this link.

Update II: I just got a phone call from the FBI. Whew! That was fast. They could not get to the Guardian’s web site for verification and wanted a quote of what the article said (the web site does appear to be temporarily disabled). I was more than glad to oblige. Damn! These guys are good. And fast! Who says the G-Men are falling down on the job? They are wrong. Elliott Ness still lives in DC. Thank God!

Update III: Drudge has just posted a link to the Guardian article. However, the entire site for The Guardian appears to be down. I can only hope Tony Blair told somebody to pull the plug on these madmen. When they start advocating assassination, it’s time for all of us to yell “STOP! HELL NO!”.

Update IV: The entire article from The Guardian is available here (PDF). Thanks to Steve C. for capturing it.

Update V: We managed to shut the bastards down for a few hours but they are back on-line again with their bile. Thanks to Stan D. for tipping us off to their rebirth.

Posted by The Skipper     on 10/23/2004 at 03:30 PM   
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   Saturday - October 09, 2004

Barking Moonbat Of The Week Award

What is it with the wives of Democrat politicians? It seems that every damned one of them feels the need to suddenly become a political activist in her own right when hubby runs for office. Most of these bimbos have absolutely no experience in politics but they feel the need to join hubby bashing his opponents as if they might have a clue what they are talking about. First we had to contend with Hillary .... now we have the “Ketchup Queen” giving us the benefit of her political knowledge ("Bush=BAD; Kerry=GOOD; Vote correctly, peasants!"). Here she is, shown below demonstrating the Vulcan Nerve Pinch that she plans to apply to President Bush if her husband loses ....

Posted by The Skipper     on 10/09/2004 at 09:31 AM   
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   Monday - October 04, 2004

The Spock Trophy - Week 1

“Diplomats and bureaucrats may function differently, but they achieve exactly the same results.” -- “The Mark of Gideon,” stardate 5423.4.

They say if you’re going to write you should write about what you know, so in light of the fact that my chosen profession (for thirty years) has been computers and information technology, I have chosen to start a new feature here at BMEWS. It’s called the Spock Trophy in honor of that green-blooded, pointy-eared “logically correct” Vulcan. Each week I’ll present a problem or riddle for you to solve and the first one to solve it is awarded the Spock Trophy for that week. I haven’t come up with a design for a trophy yet but it will probably involve pointy ears (Mheh-heh). Of course, there may be certain things inherant in each week’s problem or riddle that apply to current politics (after all, I’m only human).

Today’s riddle is relatively simple and is based on a short story from O. Henry called “The Lady Or The Tiger”. Here is the problem ....

You enter a room. In the middle of the room are two desks and seated at these desks are two men. These men are easily identified. On your left is John Kerry and on your right is George W. Bush.

Behind each man is a door.

Behind one of these doors is a booming economy, prosperity, lower taxes, a better education system, democracy in Iraq and Afghanistan, containment of Iran and North Korea, more conservative judges who will interpret the Constitution instead of re-writing it and four more years without another terrorist attack on America.

Behind the other door is an increased tax burden, an economic depression, chaos and tens of thousands of US soldiers dead in Iraq and Afghanistan, nuclear weapons in Iran and North Korea, socialized medicine, more activist judges who will continue to destroy the Constitution and a President who will need the approval of the UN Security Council before defending America from terrorist attacks which will occur more often.

You are told two things: One of these men always lies and the other always tells the truth. You do not know which one is which.

There is only one rule: you may ask one and only one question from either of these men and then you must decide which door to open.

The riddle: what question do you ask and which man do you ask it of?

Posted by The Skipper     on 10/04/2004 at 07:58 AM   
Filed Under: • Awards • Humor •  
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   Saturday - September 25, 2004

Barking Moonbat Of The Week Award

I strongly considered awarding Bill Burkett this week’s trophy for Magnificent Moonbattism for hoodwinking Dan Blather and See-BS News with the forged documents of “MemoGate” (or “RatherGate” as some have dubbed it). But then I got to thinking after seeing the interview Dan Rather did wth Burkett in which Burkett admitted lying to Rather about the source of the documents. He now claims the documents were given to him by a mysterious Houston woman named “Lucy Ramirez”. I have therefore concluded that Burkett is probably a patsy in this and several other bloggers agree .... Bill at InDC Journal, Insight On The News, A Small Victory, and Protein Wisdom.

With that in mind we sent Batty on a secret mission behind enema lines to ferret out the mysterious Ms. Ramirez. Batty’s nose for Moonbats was right on target and he came back with this photo of cross-dressing Democratic National Committee chairman Terry McAuliffe. Far be it from me to argue with Batty because he has always been right on the money when it comes to Moonbattery. Therefore this week’s award goes to “Lucy Ramirez”. That’s a fetching red dress, ain’t it? I understand it was a gift from Hillary.

Posted by The Skipper     on 09/25/2004 at 10:45 AM   
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   Saturday - September 18, 2004

Barking Moonbat Of The Week

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Secretary Of State Colin Powell today accepted the resignation of Prince Rather Of See-BS. In a tearful farewell speech from the Square Office, Prince Rather said only, “I am not a crook”. Prince Rather is shown here waving farewell to well-wishers as Marine One prepares to take the deposed Prince to an undisclosed location in Cuba where Fidel Castro has offered him asylum. The Prince has been under fire since he became involved in the notorious “MemoGate” conspiracy which was covered extensively by Bob Woodward, based on an anonymous source known only as “Deep Blogger”.

In a related story, See-BS executives announced today that they are currently in talks with Mickey Mouse to replace Prince Rather. The Duke Of Mouse was not returning phone calls.

Posted by The Skipper     on 09/18/2004 at 05:57 AM   
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   Saturday - September 11, 2004

Barking Moonbat Of The Week

Posted by The Skipper     on 09/11/2004 at 10:36 AM   
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