Wednesday - December 07, 2005

The Three Wise Men

(via Boortz)

In a small Southern town there was a “Nativity Scene” that showed great skill and talent had gone into creating it. One small feature bothered me. The three wise men were wearing firemen’s helmets. Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left.

At a “Quick Stop” on the edge of town, I asked the lady behind the counter about the helmets. She exploded into a rage, yelling at me, “You Yankees never do read the Bible!” I assured her that I did, but simply couldn’t recall anything about firemen in the Bible.

She jerked her Bible from behind the counter and ruffled through some pages, and finally jabbed her finger at a passage. Sticking it in my face she said, “See, it says right here, ‘The three wise man came from afar.’”

Bada-Bum

Posted by Drew458     on 12/07/2005 at 08:33 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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The Enemy Within

Posted by The Skipper     on 12/07/2005 at 08:06 AM   
Filed Under: • Democrats-Liberals-Moonbat Leftists •  
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Peace On Earth

_{Tab (Thomas Boldt), The Calgary Sun}

Posted by The Skipper     on 12/07/2005 at 04:21 AM   
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   Tuesday - December 06, 2005

Proper Firearm Handling

Have you ever wondered why insurgents and terrorists prefer IED’s and bombs to actually gunning it out with US troops? Well, some people in the blogosphere found out recently and provided us with pictures of these morons in “battle”. Pictured below is a sample of the incredible accuracy achieved with the modern jerkwad’s firing stance and attention to actually hitting the enemy ....

_{(- thanks to Phil (tuffbeingright) fer the tip -)}

Posted by The Skipper     on 12/06/2005 at 03:52 PM   
Filed Under: • Stoopid-People • Terrorists •  
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Christmas Lights

Surely by now you’ve heard the story about this amazing house and the mind-boggling Christmas light show. No? What, have you been hiding under a rock for the last month? This is what happens when you turn an electrical engineer loose with thousands of Christmas lights, his house, a friendly local FM radio station and all of the above programmed in perfect sync with music from the Trans-Siberian Orchestra. For those in the St. Louis area, the Trans Siberian Orchestra will be in town December 23 at the Savvis Center and tickets are available at TicketMaster.

- View the video of the light show here (turn up the volume real loud) ...

25,000 Lights Dance To Music
DEERFIELD, Ohio (USATODAY)

Is it Christmas overkill or an ultra-cool holiday display? Anyone who drives past the Williams house on Winding Creek Court will have an opinion. Carson Williams’ two-story home is decorated top to bottom with 25,000 Christmas lights - but that’s just the beginning. He used software to program them to 12 minutes of Christmas music. The result is a dancing display of synchronized lights that he says you have to see to believe.

“We had about 300 cars on Friday,” said Carson, 40. “The farthest we’ve had was Michigan. They knew someone in Loveland and they were coming through and stopped to see it.” According to PlanetChristmas.com and other Web sites, light-show technology is becoming more popular. There are even instructions on how to set up a display with Light-O-Rama software.

But a show of this magnitude is still rare enough that Williams has received calls from across the country, including the “Today” show, which is interviewing the family live this morning. “We just can’t stop smiling,” said his wife, Sherry, 39. This is the third year for the show, which gets bigger every season. It took Williams about three hours to program each minute of music.

Williams broadcasts the music from a low-power transmitter in his computer to an FM radio station. A sign tells passers-by to tune in. An electrical engineer for Cincinnati Bell Technology Solutions, Williams said it was time consuming, but worth it. The Internet rocketed the two-story house to instant cyberfame after Williams posted the 2004 light show in February.

It’s been a wild ride for the couple and their two children, Amanda, 10, and Brittney, 11. “Inside Edition” is scheduled to film a segment this afternoon. Miller Brewing Company spent about seven hours Thursday filming footage for an upcoming commercial. “They put fake snow in the yard,” Sherry Williams said.

The Trans-Siberian Orchestra - whose music is featured in the light show - invited the family to attend its Cleveland performance Saturday where they received VIP treatment. “I’m overwhelmed. I am just beside myself,” Sherry Williams said. As of Sunday morning Williams’ original Web site had gotten 848,000 hits and had been picked up by a host of others.

People are pouring into his neighborhood to check it out. By 5 p.m. Sunday - an hour before showtime - cars were already starting to line the street. By 6 p.m., traffic was bumper to bumper. “What time is the light show?” called out two Indianapolis residents on their way to a party in Cincinnati.

- Read the rest of this amazing story here ....

Posted by The Skipper     on 12/06/2005 at 12:50 PM   
Filed Under: • Odd-Strange •  
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Hot For Teacher, Episode MLIX

WHEW! I was getting scared, thinking that our streak of sleazy stories about some wild female teacher seducing a (lucky?) teenage boy was about to end. Never fear! Our streak lives on. Now in its umpteenth continuous week, we present this week’s titillating teaser teacher from Pell City, Alabama. Are we on a roll here or what ... ?

Ex-teacher Gets Prison For Sex With Student
PELL CITY, Alabama (BIRMINGHAM NEWS)

A former Leeds High School teacher was sentenced to prison Monday after admitting in court that she had consensual sex with a 15-year-old boy. Emily Morris, 27, will spend one year and a day in prison and serve four years on probation under the sentence handed down by St. Clair County Circuit Judge Jim Hill.

She pleaded guilty to one count of second-degree rape; in return, a second count of second-degree rape and one count of second-degree sodomy were dropped.

The boy was a student at the school, where Morris taught 10th-grade English for part of the 2004-05 school year. Morris had sex with the boy in her car off-campus in February, Assistant District Attorney Lamar Williamson said. “She knew how old he was,” Williamson told Hill.

“Is that true?” Hill asked Morris.

“Yes sir,” Morris said quietly.

Hill ordered Morris to report to the St. Clair County Jail on Jan. 5. She has been free on $5,000 bond since her arrest in June. She appeared to be on the verge of tears as she left the almost empty courtroom with relatives. Morris could have received up to 20 years in prison for the crime, a Class B felony.

Williamson said it was important that Morris spend some time in prison because she took advantage of her “position of trust and authority” as a teacher. Morris’ attorney, William Dawson, said she agreed to the plea bargain, in part, because of the possibility of receiving a much longer sentence.

Morris resigned from her job after allegations surfaced earlier this year. The victim’s father reported the crime to the Leeds Police Department in March. St. Clair County investigators became involved because the crime took place in the county.

A grand jury indicted Morris in June. Second-degree rape occurs when a person older than 16 has sex with a person younger than 16, provided the offender is at least two years older than the victim.

Posted by The Skipper     on 12/06/2005 at 12:03 PM   
Filed Under: • Education • Sex •  
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Pizza Justice

Occasionally I run across a story that confirms for me the existence of God, and not only that, he (or she) loves a good joke as much as we do. This thief in Norway found out the hard way that sometimes the bad deeds we perform come back to haunt us rather quickly ....

Customer Gives Pizza Man His Own Card
December 6, 2005, 9:29 AM EST
OSLO, Norway (AP)

When Vegard Sjaastad delivered a pizza near the western Norwegian town of Aalesund, there was something familiar about the customer’s credit card. It was his card, and had been stolen the day before. “It was like I met myself in the doorway,” the 24-year-old said by telephone Tuesday. “It was my picture on the back of the card.”

Sjaastad, who manages a Peppes Pizza restaurant, his drivers license and his Visa card stolen from his car on Saturday night at his father’s house. He canceled the card, and reported the theft. He was training a new driver on Monday, and they delivered the pizzeria’s ‘Film Package:” a pizza, soft drinks, and the film “Mr. and Mrs. Smith” on DVD.

A man with a credit card answered the door, and clearly did not recognize Sjaastad from the picture embossed on all Norwegian Visa cards. “I wasn’t going to play hero. I’m pretty calm by nature. I just accepted the card and said ‘I hope you enjoy the meal,’ as we always say,” he told The Associated Press.

With the address from the order form in hand, Sjaastad called the police to give an exact location of the suspects. “I figured they could enjoy the pizza and film, as long as it lasted,” he said. Police arrived about 30 minutes later, arrested three people, and recovered suspected stolen goods, at least some of it Sjaastad’s. “I expect to get my stuff back tomorrow,” he said. “This is just great. What you might dream of.”

Posted by The Skipper     on 12/06/2005 at 11:34 AM   
Filed Under: • Crime • Odd-Strange •  
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Invitation: Boston Tea Party, 2005 Version

YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE! If you family’s combined income is between $75k-$100k, you are about to get the royal screwing of a lifetime. No dinner & flowers, no foreplay, not even a warm-up kiss. The government is about to skin you alive. Your taxes are about to increase on average about $3600 per year. Why? Because of the government’s satanic plan to soak the “rich” (yes, it was invented by the Democratic Party and imposed ages ago when the Dummycraps controlled Congress). The problem is that inflation has pushed wages up and now a WHOLE LOT of people in the middle class are about to be labelled “rich”. Are we having fun yet? The tax man cometh .... and your money goeth ....

Lawmakers May Run Out of Time for Tax Fix
WASHINGTON (AP)

More than 17 million individuals and families could start the new year facing higher taxes because of a provision unfamiliar to most taxpayers — the alternative minimum tax. The new year means the expiration of a temporary fix that prevents the alternative minimum tax from hitting millions of people this year on taxes due next April. But if Congress doesn’t act, the additional tax will return for the 2006 tax year.

Originally designed to make sure wealthy individuals paid some tax, the alternative minimum tax reaches further into the middle class every year as inflation pushes more and more people into its grasp. Congress regularly erects temporary dams to prevent the tax from trapping the middle class, and lawmakers are making a last-minute effort to keep that dam in place next year.

The House plans this week to debate a bill that would stick a temporary patch on the problem. The Senate included its fix in a $58 billion tax bill passed last month. But it’s unlikely that lawmakers can reconcile their different pieces of legislation before the current fix expires Jan. 1. If lawmakers cannot resolve their differences this year, they could enact a change next year that applies a solution retroactively so taxpayers would not pay an extra dime in taxes.

But without any congressional action, the alternative minimum tax will hit 19 million taxpayers next year, taxes that would have to be paid in early 2007 when returns come due. That would include almost three out of four married, two-child couples whose incomes fall roughly between $75,000 and $100,000, said Leonard Burman, co-director of the Urban-Brookings Tax Policy Center. “It’s a large percentage of middle-class people for the first time,” Burman said.

“It’s a horrible tax. It’s economically inefficient, it’s unfair and it’s mind-bogglingly complex. ... Those are actually all reasons why it’s not going to happen.” The alternative minimum tax exists as a second system of taxation. It forces some individuals and families to figure their taxes twice — once under the regular system and again under the alternative system — then pay the higher amount. It’s often criticized as unnecessarily complicated, unfair and unpredictable. The President’s Advisory Panel on Federal Tax Reform recommended abolishing it.

- Read more about this tax-snatch here ...

Posted by The Skipper     on 12/06/2005 at 10:57 AM   
Filed Under: • Outrageous • Politics •  
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Reason #489 Not To Watch TV

Oh, how I yearn for the days of Elliot Ness, The Saint, Bullwinkle and yes ... even Gilligan’s Island. It’s a good thing I have HBO and over 800 DVD’s in my collection. Otherwise I’d have to watch this mental pablum and gradually let my brain turn to mush at which point I’d probably have to register as a Democrat since the only major requirement for being a Democrat is the complete lack of rational thought as I’m sure Al will demonstrate in his new show ...

Al Sharpton Wants His Own Sitcom
LOS ANGELES (REUTERS)

He has led civil rights marches, scolded the nation’s leaders and even run for president, but the Rev. Al Sharpton now wants to do something completely different—star in his own television sitcom. Sharpton, in an interview with Reuters on Friday, confirmed a report in Daily Variety that he would soon be filming a pilot for a family show called “Al in the Family” that would revolve around his larger-than-life personality.

“I don’t know if I am a good actor or not but I will be playing myself and I have been practicing that for 51 years,” the New York Democrat and civil rights leader said. He added that in the show, “I am the center of a family with different social and political views and we crack jokes and confront each other but are a family.”

Asked if one of his children was a Republican on the show, the man who ran for the Democratic presidential nomination in 2004 said the producers asked him not to give away too many plot details, “but you can assume something like that.”

- Read more about this waste of airtime here ...

Posted by The Skipper     on 12/06/2005 at 10:18 AM   
Filed Under: • Celebrities • Democrats-Liberals-Moonbat Leftists •  
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Quack-Quack!

Howard The Duck opened his idiotic mouth again yesterday and went completely loco. The Screaming Deacon From Vermont went on a rampage declaring “the US will never win in Iraq” and comparing President Bush to President Nixon and the Watergate scandal. It amazes me how Dean and others in the Democratic Party, who have no experience in international affairs or worldwide strategic objectives seem to have all the answers. Well, almost all the answers.

Dean and his minions on the Left think we should bring the troops home right now but have no plan for dealing with the chaos that would ensue in Iraq. They claim the President lied and presented false information before the war when everyone, the Democrats in Congress included, got their intel from the same place - the CIA ... which was being run by a Clinton appointee at the time and was defiantly anti-Bush administration, even to the point of sending a nitwit with no recent overseas experience to Africa to determine whether Saddam was trying to buy uranium (reference: Joe Wilson, Valerie Plame).

Friends, readers, anyone within eyeshot of this monitor: please talk to your Liberal friends, especially those in the Democratic Party. The road Dean, Pelosi, Kerry, Kennedy and others are leading them down is a sewage-filled trail straight into Dante’s Inferno. Down that road lies madness. Remember: friends don’t let friends vote Democratic. Save a soul today. The Dark Side is calling them ....

Dean: US Won’t Win in Iraq
SAN ANTONIO (WOAI)

Saying the “idea that we’re going to win the war in Iraq is an idea which is just plain wrong,” Democratic National Chairman Howard Dean predicted today that the Democratic Party will come together on a proposal to withdraw National Guard and Reserve troops immediately, and all US forces within two years. Dean made his comments in an interview on WOAI Radio in San Antonio. “I’ve seen this before in my life. This is the same situation we had in Vietnam. Everybody then kept saying, ‘just another year, just stay the course, we’ll have a victory.’ Well, we didn’t have a victory, and this policy cost the lives of an additional 25,000 troops because we were too stubborn to recognize what was happening.”

Dean says the Democrat position on the war is ‘coalescing,’ and is likely to include several proposals. “I think we need a strategic redeployment over a period of two years,” Dean said. “Bring the 80,000 National Guard and Reserve troops home immediately. They don’t belong in a conflict like this anyway. We ought to have a redeployment to Afghanistan of 20,000 troops, we don’t have enough troops to do the job there and its a place where we are welcome. And we need a force in the Middle East, not in Iraq but in a friendly neighboring country to fight (terrorist leader Musab) Zarqawi, who came to Iraq after this invasion. We’ve got to get the target off the backs of American troops.

Dean didn’t specify which country the US forces would deploy to, but he said he would like to see the entire process completed within two years. He said the Democrat proposal is not a ‘withdrawal,’ but rather a ‘strategic redeployment’ of U.S. forces. “The White House wants us to have a permanent commitment to Iraq. This is an Iraqi problem. President Bush got rid of Saddam Hussein and that was a great thing, but that could have been done in a very different way. But now that we’re there we need to figure out how to leave. 80% of Iraqis want us to leave, and it’s their country.”

Dean also compared the controversy over pre-war intelligence to the Watergate scandal which brought down Richard Nixon’s presidency in 1974. “What we see today is very much like what was going in Watergate,” Dean said. “It turns out there is a lot of good evidence that President Bush did not tell the truth when he was asking Congress for the power to go to war. The President said last week that Congress saw the same intelligence that he did in making the decision to go to war, and that is flat out wrong. The President withheld some intelligence from the Senate Intelligence Committee. He withheld the report from the CIA that in fact there was no evidence of weapons of mass destruction (in Iraq), that they did not have a nuclear program. They (the White House) selectively gave intelligence to the United States Senate and the United States Congress and got them to give the go ahead to attack these people.”

Posted by The Skipper     on 12/06/2005 at 09:12 AM   
Filed Under: • Democrats-Liberals-Moonbat Leftists • Outrageous •  
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PC Holidays

_{Mike Lester, Rome (GA) News-Tribune}

Posted by The Skipper     on 12/06/2005 at 07:22 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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   Monday - December 05, 2005

Feline Decisions

It’s that time of year again and OldCatMan is in BAH-HUMBUG mode once more. We need to cheer his sorry a** up a little, gang. We need to keep our token Liberal and Honorary Curmudgeon happy or else he may wander off back to the Dark Side (Democratic Underground). In fact, I think we need to give OCM a new avatar. Below you will see three avatars. On the left is OCM’s current avatar. In the middle is another famous curmudgeonly Christmas wanker, Ebenezer Scrooge. Finally, on the right is that evil green dude who stole Christmas a few years back, the Grinch.

I leave it up to you, our faithful readers. Should OCM keep his ugly puss for an avatar or should I assign him one of the others? If so, which one?

        

UPDATE: OK, the votes are in and finally tallied. Our members decided .... to let OCM keep his current avatar since having an ugly puss like that is definitely way too much handicap already. I think there was a sympathy vote in there somewhere. OCM! Repent of your heathen ways. The folks here like you, even if you scrooge us to death. Merry Christmas to all and to all a Good Night! On Dasher, On Dancer, On Prancer .... HO-HO-HO!

Posted by The Skipper     on 12/05/2005 at 11:44 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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Hillary Loves The Flag

Ah, Hillary, my dear. Surely you’re not going to try and tell little Ol’ Skipper that you really aren’t planning a run for the Presidency in 2008 now, are you? Come over here and give us a hug and confess, sweet-cheeks. I know you really hate cooperating with Repugnicans, especially when it confuses your Leftist, Liberal, Socialist, Communist, bed-wetting, pinko base.

Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt their little feelings. Hill sweetie, how long do you think you can maintain this mask, pretending to be conservative in order to get a few Red States in your camp? Please tell me you’re not planning on taking up NASCAR racing next (although I’d just love to see you at Daytona in a bikini presenting the winners’s trophy to Dale Earnhardt, Jr). Perhaps this is just a flirtation with the Right and maybe I’m wrong but you really need to ditch that redneck hick of a husband before he unzips your whole quest for Camelot again ....

HILLARY BACKS BAN
ON FLAG-BURNING
December 5, 2005
WASHINGTON (NY POST)

Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton has quietly signed on to a Republican measure that makes it illegal to desecrate the American flag — a move that will boost her credibility in the conservative “red” states. Clinton is the sole co-sponsor of Utah Republican Sen. Bob Bennett’s new legislation that outlaws flag-trashing without addressing the issue of a Constitutional amendment to ban it. It’s a delicate dance on a longtime hot-button issue that has major implications in a potential 2008 White House bid for Clinton as she tries to woo heartland voters and block new centrist-Dem darling Gov. Mark Warner of Virginia.

Warner last month fired a warning shot at Hillary’s presidential hopes when he helped elect a fellow Democrat to succeed him in Virginia — proving he has the juice to boost other Democrats in red states. “She has been tagged, just about everywhere, as a likely loser because she can’t carry a single red state. With Mark Warner on the rise, she has got to find ways to counter that criticism. This is one of the exhibits,” said Larry Sabato, of the University of Virginia. Seventy percent of Americans want flag-desecration outlawed, according to several polls — and that feeling is even stronger among the moderate red-state voters Clinton needs to make any White House hopes a reality.

Yet the liberal core of the Democratic Party that Clinton must have during the primary season is dead-set against amending the Constitution to banning flag-burning — which the Supreme Court has ruled is protected by the First Amendment. She hedged on the issue last summer, when the House voted to amend the Constitution and ban flag desecration. It appeared the Senate would vote too — though it hasn’t happened. “I support federal legislation that would outlaw flag-desecration, much like laws that currently prohibit the burning of crosses, but I don’t believe a constitutional amendment is the answer,” she said at the time.

Her spokesman, Philippe Reines, said she’s now following through on her promise. The bill doesn’t explicitly ban anyone from setting the flag afire. But it makes it illegal for a protester to “intimidate any person or group of persons by burning” the flag — which leaves police with plenty of room for interpretation. It also outlaws anyone from lighting somebody else’s flag on fire and from desecrating the flag on federal property. Congressional lawyers, who have been poring over Supreme Court rulings, believe the bill will withstand judicial review. But for Clinton, analysts say the real value is that she can tout her co-sponsorship of the bill on the campaign trail.

Posted by The Skipper     on 12/05/2005 at 09:27 AM   
Filed Under: • Hildabeast •  
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The Road To Bethlehem

And Joseph also went unto the city of David which is called Bethlehem,
to be registered with Mary, his espoused wife, being great with child.

Posted by The Skipper     on 12/05/2005 at 06:18 AM   
Filed Under: • Religion •  
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Not that very many people ever read this far down, but this blog was the creation of Allan Kelly and his friend Vilmar. Vilmar moved on to his own blog some time ago, and Allan ran this place alone until his sudden and unexpected death partway through 2006. We all miss him. A lot. Even though he is gone this site will always still be more than a little bit his. We who are left to carry on the BMEWS tradition owe him a great debt of gratitude, and we hope to be able to pay that back by following his last advice to us all:

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It's been a long strange trip without you Skipper, but thanks for pointing us in the right direction and giving us a swift kick in the behind to get us going. Keep lookin' down on us, will ya? Thanks.

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