Saturday - November 19, 2005

Trade Deficit

A guy and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town, doing what guys and girls do on back roads some distance from town.

As things really started getting hot, the girl stopped the guy and said, “I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I’m actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex.”

The guy reluctantly paid her, and they went on with their business.

After they finished, the guy lit up a cigarette, sat back in the driver’s seat and stared out the window.

“Why aren’t we going anywhere?” asked the girl.

“Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I’m actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $25.”

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/19/2005 at 10:31 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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Vroom-Vroom

If nothing else, this is the absolute coolest looking bike I’ve seen in years. Add to the snazzy styling the fact that it’s a hybrid gasoline/electric and has hands-free cell phone and rear-view camera instead of mirrors and you’re got all the gadgetry you could ever ask for. All it needs is a bug zapper in front of the driver to help keep your teeth clean as you smile down the highway ...

- 39th Tokyo Motor Show: Yamaha Motor Display Models

This model is a proposal for a “High-performance Hybrid Motorcycle.” Based on Yamaha’s “Genesis” design ideal and the new “G.E.N.I.C.H.” ideal reflecting the latest electronic control technologies, this model combines the lightweight, compact YZF-R6 600cc engine and a high output, high efficiency electric motor. It is designed to offer both the joy of handling of a motorcycle and the comfort and carrying capacity of a scooter. Features like the lightweight aluminum CF die-cast body with optimized rigidity balance, large diameter wheels and long wheelbase give this model running performance and handling similar to a 1,000cc class machine.

Furthermore, as Yamaha H.M.I. (Human Machine Interface) systems, this model adopts ASV (Advanced Safety Vehicle) features aimed at preventative safety functions and smart functions for increasing rider comfort. The ASV functions include (1) a vehicle-vehicle distance warning system using the latest communications technologies, (2) a cornering light system that improves nighttime vision when turning at intersections and curves, The smart functions include (1) a noise canceling system that greatly reduces wind noise, (2) a short wave tandem intercom system, (3) voice navigation function, (4) music player and hand-free cell phone function and (5) rear view monitoring system using a CCD camera and LCD display.

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/19/2005 at 08:55 AM   
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Alternate Reality

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/19/2005 at 08:43 AM   
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Mister Humanitarian?

Hmmmm. Jesse goes to Venezuela, cuts a deal with a dictator and Boston gets cheap heating oil. What does the dictator get in return? Good question. Publicity stunt? Who knows. All I know is if Jesse is involved, something’s rotten somewhere in this deal ....

Venezuela to Sell Cheap Oil to U.S. Poor
CARACAS, Venezuela (AP)

Venezuela will soon begin selling heating oil at discount prices to poor communities in Boston and New York, following up on a promise by President Hugo Chavez, Venezuela’s state oil company announced.

Citgo, a subsidiary of Venezuela’s state-owned oil company that runs roughly 16,000 gas stations in the United States, will offer fuel at discounted rates in Boston as early as next week, according to a statement posted Friday on the company’s Web site.

In Boston, up to 1.2 million gallons of discounted heating oil will be offered, for a total savings of $10 million, the statement said. Heating oil will be sold later in the Bronx, a New York City borough.

The statement said the distribution of the discounted heating oil will be organized with the help of local nonprofit organizations. Chavez often blames the plight of the poor on unbridled capitalism and strongly criticizes the Bush administration for failing to reduce poverty in the United States.

Although tensions between the United States and Venezuela have increased since Chavez was elected in 1998, the oil-rich South American country remains a major supplier of fuel to the United States.

Chavez offered cheap heating oil for poor U.S. communities in August following a meeting in Caracas with the Rev. Jesse Jackson.

Venezuela, which has the largest oil and natural gas reserves outside the Middle East, is the world’s fifth most important oil exporter and a founding member of the Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries.

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/19/2005 at 08:27 AM   
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   Friday - November 18, 2005

Public Service Message

It’s Friday night, fer God’s sake!
What are you doing sitting there reading a blog?
Go find some friends and get rowdy!

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/18/2005 at 06:42 PM   
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Plastic Lover

Quick! Try to imagine your worst nightmare! .... Nope, not even close. The gentleman in the story below has got to be having the worst day of his life because: (1) he lives in Iowa, (2) he was discovered having “relations” with a female mannequin, (3) the mannequin appears to have been “molested” several times previously, (4) the Iowa newspaper and website not only printed his name but his address, and finally (5) thousands of readers at BMEWS will have the rest of the day to talk about him. Sometimes, suicide is actually a viable option ....

Police Find Semi-Nude Man Inside Pavilion
SIOUX FALLS, Iowa (ARGUSLEADER.COM)

A Sioux Falls man is charged with indecent exposure after being found partially unclothed and lying on the floor with a female mannequin in the Washington Pavilion.

Michael James Plentyhorse, 18, 708 N. Dakota Ave., was discovered by a Pavilion security officer at 4:35 p.m. Monday in the Washington High School Alumni Room, police said.

The guard observed Plentyhorse with his pants and underclothing down and lying next to the half-naked female mannequin, a police report states.

“There was inappropriate activity between him and the mannequin. That’s the only way I know how to put it,” Sioux Falls police officer Loren McManus said.

Security staff at the Pavilion say they have noticed the same mannequin has previously been found undressed on several occasions, McManus said.

No drugs or alcohol appear to have been involved.

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/18/2005 at 01:02 PM   
Filed Under: • Odd-Strange • Sex •  
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Word For The Day: COPROLITES

See how quickly you can make a link between OldCatMan and our new word for the day: coprolites ...

Dinosaurs May Have Eaten Grass
WASHINGTON (AP)

Imagine dinosaur terrain - full of ferns and palms, right? Better add some grass to that picture. A new discovery debunks the theory that grasses didn’t emerge until long after the dinosaurs died off. Fossilized dung tells the story: The most prominent plant-eating dinosaurs were digesting different varieties of grass between 65 million and 71 million years ago, researchers report Friday in the journal Science.

The earliest grass fossils ever found were about 55 million years old - from the post-dinosaur era. It’s a big surprise for scientists, who had never really looked for evidence of grass in dino diets before. After all, grass fossils aside, those sauropods - the behemoths with the long necks and tails and small heads - didn’t have the special kind of teeth needed to grind up abrasive blades.

“Most people would not have fathomed that they would eat grasses,” noted lead researcher Caroline Stromberg of the Swedish Museum of Natural History. Stromberg and a team of paleobotanists from India analyzed sauropod dung - the scientific term is coprolites - found in central India. The coprolites contained microscopic particles of silica called phytoliths, which form inside plant cells in distinctive patterns that essentially act as a signature.

Amid the expected plants were numerous phytoliths certain to have come from the grass family, report Stromberg and Vandana Prasad of India’s Birbal Sahni Institute of Palaeobotany. They included relatives of rice and bamboo and forage-type grasses. They didn’t eat a lot of grass, the evidence shows.

But grasses must have originated considerably earlier, well over 80 million years ago, for such a wide variety to have evolved and spread to the Indian subcontinent in time to be munched by sauropods, they concluded. “These remarkable results will force reconsideration of many long-standing assumptions” about dinosaur ecology, wrote Dolores Piperno and Hans-Dieter Sues of the Smithsonian Institution’s National Museum of Natural History in an accompanying review.

Beyond the great curiosity about dinosaur life, the discovery has implications about the coevolution of this huge plant family - there are about 10,000 separate grass species - with other plant-eaters, Piperno explained. Indeed, a mysterious early mammal that roamed among the dinosaurs had more suitable teeth for grazing, raising the possibility of an early adaptation, the researchers note.

---
On the Net:
Science: http://www.sciencemag.org/

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/18/2005 at 11:44 AM   
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Kofi Has Chutzpah

Well, it looks like Big Anus (The Koffing One) is at it again. Mo’ money! Mo’ money! Gimme! Gimme! What happened to all that cash he and his cohorts (including his criminal son, Little Anus) got in the Oil For Food bribery scandal? Can’t they spare a little of the many billions they made off of selling Sodomy’s oil? If nothing else, Big Anus needs to keep one word in mind: KATRINA.

I don’t see the UN jumping in to help get money to our hurricane refugees or to any of the thousands of homeless in Mississippi and Louisiana. I believe it’s time to give the UN a prostate exam ... so let’s everyone give a finger to the Big Anus ...

Annan Calls Asian Quake Response ‘Weak’
MUZAFFARABAD, Pakistan (AP)

U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan chided the international community Friday for a “weak and tardy” response to the South Asia quake that killed more than 87,000 people. Annan said on the eve of a key donors conference that only 30 percent of the money pledged for quake relief had been donated so far. He said that paled in comparison to donations after the Dec. 26 tsunami that devastated 11 nations on the Indian Ocean.

“I think there is no doubt that donors’ response has been weak and tardy,” Annan said. “When the tsunami struck at the 10-day point we had 80 percent of the money we needed. In the case of Pakistan at the 10-day point we had 12 percent. Today we have 30 percent.” Annan warned of a “gigantic task” ahead for quake recovery efforts in northern Pakistan, saying the difficulties posed by winter’s onset and the logistics of reaching mountain villages made the Oct. 8 quake disaster comparable to the tsunami, which killed 180,000 people.

U.N. agencies have so far received cash donations of only $119 million, with another $40 million in pledges, out of $550 million they have been seeking since last month to finance emergency relief over six months. Britain said Friday it would pledge an additional $120 million at Saturday’s donor conference for post-earthquake reconstruction, to be paid out over three years. Britain already has contributed $57 million for disaster relief, the British Embassy said in a statement.

The United States has pledged $180 million in aid to Pakistan, about $54 million of which has already been spent, said Kevin Sheridan, spokesman for the U.S. Agency for International Development. Much of that went through international aid agencies outside the U.N. relief effort, he said. USAID chief Andrew Natsios said he would announce long-term support at the conference, but he declined to elaborate Friday. Annan and Pakistani President Gen. Pervez Musharraf visited families sheltering in tents in the Pakistani Kashmir capital of Muzaffarabad, and Annan said he would renew funding appeals at the donor conference for what he called “one of the largest humanitarian tragedies we’ve had to deal with.”

“I hope they will get us a better place for the winter because it’s cold here,” said Shaheen Bibi, 30, a mother of four, after Annan gave her money and blankets.Annan said he hoped conference delegates would “give willingly and generously,” but he added that if adequate funds were not raised, he would try to secure them later. “If we do not hit our target tomorrow, we need to keep trying. We have to keep pressing donor governments, the private sector and individuals to try harder. I don’t think we can cross our arms and sit back and relax because we made one attempt and we did not get all that we wanted,” he said.

- If you really want to read more of Big Anus’ crap go here

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/18/2005 at 11:27 AM   
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Stupid Idea Of The Day (so far)

Few things in life are certain. Death. Taxes. And Ted Turner having another idiotic idea. The Mouth of The South just ain’t right in the head. He hasn’t had a good idea since 1975. This latest concept from The Brain Of Ted defies understanding. I suggest a change in Ted’s medication ...

Ted Turner Wants Korean DMZ Made Into Park
UNITED NATIONS (AP)

Media mogul Ted Turner wants to turn the Demilitarized Zone that divides the two Koreas into a peace park and a U.N.-protected World Heritage Site to honor the thousands of young men who died during the Korean War. Turner first raised the idea of a peace park during a visit to the two Koreas this summer, and urged both sides to sign a peace treaty as a first step. North and South Korea technically remain at war since their 1950-53 conflict ended in a cease-fire instead of a peace treaty.

But the CNN founder went further at a dinner Thursday night, saying the DMZ, which is 2 1/2 miles wide and 155 miles long, should also be declared a World Heritage Site, which would ensure that dozens of species unique to the area are preserved along with its history. The DMZ is about one-quarter the size of Yellowstone Park and goes from seashore to seashore, through river valleys and across mountains.

“The DMZ needs to be designated as a World Heritage Site and as a World Peace Park site because we’ve got to preserve it from development,” Turner said. “Over the last 50 years, nobody’s been in there and the birds and animals and trees and bushes and flowers” have flourished, he added.

Turner was speaking at a dinner honoring a new initiative to promote “sustainable tourism” at World Heritage Sites—landmarks designated by the U.N. Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization, UNESCO. The initiative is being undertaken by Expedia Inc. and the United Nations Foundation, which Turner chairs.

The Foundation was created in 1998 to distribute the $1 billion Turner pledged to support U.N. causes. Turner said the DMZ should be a monument to both North and South Korea and China and the United States, countries that lost thousands of young men fighting in the area. He said he started working on the DMZ campaign because he was asked by the president of the International Crane Foundation. Every winter, about 4,000 cranes from two different species winter in the DMZ.

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/18/2005 at 07:05 AM   
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Taxed Twice, Sued Forever

This almost reads like an episode from The Twilight Zone. The family in the story below obviously live in the wrong place. I’m thinking it may be time for them to move their house two feet west ... or south ... or east ... or ... oh, forget it - there are taxmen on all sides, it seems. Better just to blow the house up, collect the insurance and move to another state. Problem solved.

Schools Suing For $35K Tuition
Forest Hills pursues family whose house was on border
CINCINNATI

James and Linda Huegel sent their two children to the Forest Hills School District, and now the school board is suing the couple for $35,485 in back tuition from 1993 to 1999. The district says the couple lived in the 8000 block of Forest Pine Drive, which was in the West Clermont School District at the time, according to the suit filed in Clermont County Common Pleas Court. The residence was transferred to the Forest Hills district in 2000.

Forest Hills sued the couple in October 2000, but Clermont County Common Pleas Court ruled it did not have jurisdiction until the Ohio Department of Education ruled. The district turned to the Court of Appeals, which agreed with the trial court’s decision. The Ohio Supreme Court refused the case.

The Department of Education ruled in June that the Huegels were not Forest Hills residents before the 1999-2000 school year and that their attendance was unauthorized. On Aug. 19, the Forest Hills School Board demanded full payment of tuition, but the Huegels haven’t paid, the lawsuit said.

Ohio law says that school districts must provide free public education to students living within their geographic borders, but districts are allowed to set tuition amounts for out-of-district residents who want to enroll.

Part of the Forest Pine residence is located in Clermont County, and part of it is in Hamilton County, said Bronston McCord, attorney for Forest Hills. The Huegels’ developer told them that their house is in Forest Hills, which was incorrect, McCord said. Every other house on the street is in Forest Hills. McCord said it’s unlikely that the Huegels didn’t know they were in the wrong school district, because they received two tax bills - one from Hamilton County and a larger one from Clermont County. Both list the school district.

Whether the Huegels knew that they were sending their kids to the wrong district, Forest Hills still has to pursue the matter, McCord said. “The bottom line is that Forest Hills is required by law to collect tuition for the unauthorized attendance.” While building their Forest Pine Drive home in 1993, they discovered the property sat in two school districts, James Huegel said. Because of that, the Huegels sought an Ohio Department of Education opinion in 1993.

“The Ohio Department of Education told us we could attend either school district, because we were paying taxes in both,” Huegel said. But in June 1999, the Huegels received a letter from Forest Hills, saying their children could not attend school there. “They (Forest Hills) have some responsibility in this also to know what property is in their district or what property they believe is in their district,” Huegel said. “It’s not like we gave them a phony address.”

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/18/2005 at 06:48 AM   
Filed Under: • Education • Insanity •  
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Exit Stage Left

Her fifteen minutes of fame are over and she still won’t sit down and shut up. Read the last sentence below and let’s all hope she doesn’t come back. She should be right at home in Europistan ...

Cindy Sheehan Found Guilty of Misdemeanor
WASHINGTON (AP)

Iraq War protester Cindy Sheehan and 26 other peace activists were found guilty Thursday of protesting without a permit near the White House. They were each ordered to pay $75 in fines and court costs, but Sheehan’s lawyer said he plans to appeal the verdict. “We weren’t demonstrating,” Sheehan told reporters after the trial.

All the defendants contended they were trying to deliver petitions to the White House calling for an end to the war in Iraq on Sept. 26, but found no one willing to accept them. “Our petitions were rejected like every request I have made of the president has been rejected,” Sheehan said.

Sheehan, 48, of Berkeley, Calif., has tried repeatedly to meet with President Bush since her 24-year-old son, Casey, was killed in Iraq last year. She spent several weeks near the president’s Crawford, Texas, ranch this summer, and plans to return there Thanksgiving week.

“I absolutely believe he has an obligation to meet with me,” Sheehan said. The defendants were among 300 people arrested by U.S. Park Police after they spent more than an hour on the Pennsylvania Avenue sidewalk north of the Executive Mansion. While some sat on the sidewalk, others chanted and sang songs. They were taken into custody after refusing police orders to leave.

“The actions they were taking were designed to attract attention,” said U.S. District Magistrate Judge Alan Kay. A federal regulation prohibits demonstrations without a required permit outside the White House by groups larger than 25 people. “They were consciously violating the law for publicizing their case,” Kay said.

Sheehan said she plans to take her peace activist message to Europe next month with stops in London and Madrid.

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/18/2005 at 06:36 AM   
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Government Torture

_{Jeff Parker, Florida Today}

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/18/2005 at 06:30 AM   
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   Thursday - November 17, 2005

As The World Turns

When we left our heroine teacher bimbo in the last episode of “As The World Turns”, she had just been released from jail on bail for having sex with one of her students. Our story today takes another terrible twist for the nympho blonde bombshell as she is now accused of ....

Female Teacher Accused of Having
Sex With Student Now
Accused of Stealing Boyfriend
TAMPA (WTSP)

A Riverview woman is upset not only because her boyfriend dumped her for another woman, but because of who that woman is and the time she may spend around her child. That woman is Debra Lafave.

Lafave is accused of having sex with a 14-year-old student. It is a confusing story that involves the ex-girlfriend of Lafave’s current boyfriend, Andrew Beck. We learn about the triangle from court documents. In a motion for protection, the ex-girlfriend says Lafave came to the restaurant she works at and told her, ‘I’m Andrew’s first love and he would do anything for me.”

The ex-girlfriend, Lisa York, says “Lafave boasted, ‘If I wanted I could take him away from you.’” The documents say “Lafave came back again and said he still loved her and she has him now.” Although Beck says Lafave would be a good influence on the two-year-old child he had with York as well as the 12-year-old daughter York has, she doesn’t want the children to be around Lafave.

York says if Lafave were a man, she wouldn’t be allowed to be around young children, and she doesn’t want her kids to be around Lafave. However the court order granting bail made no mention of staying away from children. Lafave’s attorney declined to comment. Some court house observers say it sounds more like a motion filed from a scorned lover. The judge refused to grant an order to keep Lafave away from the children.

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/17/2005 at 02:17 PM   
Filed Under: • Sex • Stoopid-People •  
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Help Desk Rage

Normally I sympathize with Help Desk people because I work in IT and I have to deal with BIG computer problems, like terabyte databases and tens of thousands of users, all day and sometimes all night and weekends. However, I’m posting this story for two reasons: (1) OldCatMan will love it, since he now knows there are others who feel the same way he does when he calls the Help Desk (and who probably use the same nasty words he does), and (2) I am thoroughly angry at Indians today since we have a contract-to-perm, new hire Indian DBA in my office who left work at noon yesterday with a sore throat (probably caused by an awful accent), leaving me to handle an after-hours task on his databases last night (12:00am to 3:00am working on tuning parameters and bouncing seven databases), only to come in this morning to find him complaining to our boss because I had not done the work precisely as he would have done. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr .... fair warning, Skipper is not in a good mood today. Especially if you talk to me with an accent ....

Outsourcing Outrage:
Indian Call-center Workers Suffer Abuse
NOIDA, India (SFGATE.COM)

While irate calls are a mainstay of customer service work in any country, many Indian call-center workers say they regularly face particular abuse from Americans, whose tantrums are sometimes racist and often inspired by anger over outsourcing. This vitriol has fueled a “searing anger” among the Indian employees, says Vinod Shetty, a Bombay lawyer who has formed a collective for call-center workers. “A lot of trauma is caused.”

Debalina Das, 22, a computer help-line agent in the city of Hyderabad in south India, punched the button last winter for a call from the United States. The caller greeted her with a torrent of racial and sexual slurs, accused her of “roaming about naked without food and clothes” and asked, “What do you know about computers?”

The diatribe ended with the comment:"This company is just saving money by outsourcing to Third World countries like yours.” Such telephone tirades are fueled by outrage over outsourcing, which is expected to move 3.4 million U.S. service-sector jobs overseas by 2015, according to the consultancy Forrester. Most of the work comes to India, where young, low-cost employees now handle a range of American tasks—they draw cartoons, interpret heart scans, adjudicate insurance claims, reserve flights and chase debtors.

Das, who quit the job after four months, said she learned to dislike Americans. “Rarely, there are people who are good,” she said by e-mail, “but then others remind me that all they believe in is cursing, and they don’t have respect for others.” Her opinion is not uncommon among many workers in India’s burgeoning call-center industry.

Relations between India and the United States have grown closer in recent years. India now sends more students to American colleges than any other country. Indians form the wealthiest and one of the fastest-growing immigrant groups in the United States. And in the last decade, American companies have increasingly sought Indian customers and employees.

Not everyone is happy about the growing ties between the two nations. An anti-outsourcing movement has drawn wide support as layoffs continue to mount at such U.S. companies as IBM, which is cutting 13,000 jobs in Europe and the United States and adding 14,000 in India, according to the Washington Alliance of Technology Workers.

In the first three months of this year, state legislators proposed 112 bills to stanch the exodus of American jobs, according to the National Foundation for American Policy. Some opponents of outsourcing, often fired workers themselves, have rechanneled their rage at job-slashing CEOs toward India. On the Web forum Is Your Job Going Offshore? (isyourjobgoingoffshore.com/forums/) contributors variously describe India as depraved, as a haven for terrorists, a “giant leech” and a nation of “back-stabbing cowards.”

- You can be reading of this story much more at this link

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/17/2005 at 01:32 PM   
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Not that very many people ever read this far down, but this blog was the creation of Allan Kelly and his friend Vilmar. Vilmar moved on to his own blog some time ago, and Allan ran this place alone until his sudden and unexpected death partway through 2006. We all miss him. A lot. Even though he is gone this site will always still be more than a little bit his. We who are left to carry on the BMEWS tradition owe him a great debt of gratitude, and we hope to be able to pay that back by following his last advice to us all:

1. Keep a firm grasp of Right and Wrong
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It's been a long strange trip without you Skipper, but thanks for pointing us in the right direction and giving us a swift kick in the behind to get us going. Keep lookin' down on us, will ya? Thanks.

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