Thursday - November 17, 2005

The Deadbeat Diva

“Martha, you’re an arrogant bimbo!” - The Skipper then grabs the doofus diva, throws her across his knee and proceeds to paddle her butt on national TV. The audience goes wild, clamors for more as the Queen Of Quiche cries and rubs her sore bottom. Nielsen ratings for the new show ”The Skipper Spankings” go through the roof as the show is renewed for a second season on Fox ....

Martha $tiffed Jury Consultant
(NEW YORK POST)

Martha Stewart has become a deadbeat diva, court papers charge. The axed “Apprentice” star is getting sued for allegedly stiffing the jury-consulting firm that helped her with her notorious federal criminal trial last year.

Julie Blackman and Associates did 208 hours of work in a unsuccessful bid to help Stewart find a friendly jury to combat charges she lied to federal authorities about the circumstances of her sale of shares of ImClone stock. The suit says Stewart hired Blackman through her lawyer, Robert Morvillo, and the firm “provided trial and jury consulting services” to her, including “telephone surveys, focus groups, design of a jury questionnaire and jury selection consultation.”

Morvillo paid some of the firm’s bills — but they were never paid for their final tab of $74,047. The suit says neither Morvillo nor Stewart ever objected to “the accuracy of that bill” — they just wouldn’t pay it. Blackman’s lawyer, Michael Dowd, said his client has been frustrated by the homemaking mogul’s refusal to fork over the dough, but she “did not allow me to file this suit while Stewart was in jail out of a sense of decency.”

Dowd said he’s tried calling Stewart numerous times about the debt, only to get a cold shoulder. “We tried to reach out to her to deal with it and she ignored us,” Dowd said. A spokeswoman for the diva said, “Martha Stewart has not been served with any papers regarding this legal matter and, therefore, she cannot comment.”

dareh.gregorian@nypost.com

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/17/2005 at 12:36 PM   
Filed Under: • Crime • Stoopid-People •  
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Stupid People Blackmail, Episode #4,328,567

Not a day goes by but another idiot somewhere tries to use “stoopid” as a reason for blackmail. This old “scalding coffee gag” is kinda wearing thin though, dont’cha think? We need more fingers in chili, rats in fried chicken, etc. C’mon people! Be creative. Think up some new ones, OK?

$10M SUIT FOR JAVA JOLT
(NEW YORK POST)

A Staten Island woman wants $10 million for being scalded by a cup of coffee. Sharon Shea said she suffered second- and third-degree burns to her legs when two steaming cups of joe tumbled out of the carrier tray as she and a friend drove away from the Dunkin’ Donuts parking lot on Forest Avenue.

Shea insists the coffee was too hot and the work- ers didn’t fasten the lids tightly enough. “The [drive-thru] girl had positioned them where they were in the same line [on the tray], they weren’t cattycorner,” said Shea, 60.

“Just as the car was about to stop, the coffee — those lids couldn’t have been on tight, no way in the world — the coffee toppled over onto my leg, and right away I said, ‘I’m dying, I’m dead!’ ”

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/17/2005 at 12:25 PM   
Filed Under: • Stoopid-People •  
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Getting your Boxers in a Bunch

Have you read Barbara Boxer’s new Novel: Time to Run?  John Miller of NRO did (with much gagging and dry-heaving) and has the review.  Here’s a taste:

Have you ever watched a movie trailer that’s amusing, but which also leaves you with the sense that you’ve just seen all the good parts? Think of what you’re reading now as the same sort of thing, except that it covers the bad parts of A Time To Run, the new novel by Barbara Boxer, the liberal Democratic senator from California.

Of course, saying that A Time To Run has a few bad parts really doesn’t give Boxer enough credit — the whole book is stupendously awful, from the first page to the last. As a service to you, dear reader, I have slogged my way through it, in order to share with you the worst of the worst.

You don’t need to know much about the characters or the plot, except that the central figure is a liberal Democratic senator from California (sound familiar?) who must decide how she is going to respond to a Republican Supreme Court nomination. And thus, on the opening pages of A Time To Run, we encounter Boxer’s utter lack of imagination:

Go read the rest. 

Posted by Drew458     on 11/17/2005 at 09:47 AM   
Filed Under: • Democrats-Liberals-Moonbat Leftists • Politics •  
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Daily Horror Story

This is the state of medical care in the Third World. This is what we’ll have if the Hildabeast and the Dummycraps manage to shove socialized medicine down our throats here in the US. Don’t believe it? Just ask Canada. Any more dumb questions ... ?

Ants Eat Away Woman’s Eye In Hospital
KOLKATA, India (Reuters)

A woman receiving treatment for diabetes at a state-run hospital in eastern India lost one of her eyes after ants nibbled away at it, officials said on Tuesday. The patient recovering from a post-surgery infection shrieked for help as the ants attacked her on Sunday night, but nurses told her it was normal to feel pain from the infection.

On Monday, the patient’s family saw a gaping hole with swarming ants in it when they lifted the bandage on her left eye. Authorities of the Sambhunath Hospital in Kolkata said they were probing the incident.

“It’s not uncommon for ants to attack diabetic patients. We have set up a committee to investigate the unfortunate incident,” hospital superintendent A. Adhikary said.

Scampering rats and stray cats and dogs sharing bed space with patients are not uncommon sights at India’s overcrowded state-run hospitals that are used by millions of poor and middle-class people.

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/17/2005 at 09:18 AM   
Filed Under: • Outrageous •  
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Help Wanted

The Skipper will be moving to Nevada shortly to take up a new position with a new company. He has just completed the interview process and salary negotiations are underway. It seems Skipper was number one on the list of new hires for this new venture. In fact, spokesmen for the company said The Skipper was the model used to lay out the standards for all new hires. In a related story, scientists have proven that pigs can fly ....

Fleiss Plans Makeover for Nevada Brothel
LAS VEGAS (AP)

Former “Hollywood Madam” Heidi Fleiss says she’s bound for a brothel in the southern Nevada desert that she wants to help remake into a resort featuring male prostitutes serving female customers. “I am moving to Crystal,” Fleiss said Wednesday of a desert crossroads 20 miles north of Pahrump and about 80 miles outside Las Vegas. It features two bordellos and little else.

“I am opening up a stud farm,” Fleiss declared from her Hollywood home overlooking the Sunset Strip. “I am going to have the sexiest men on earth. Women are going to love it.” Joe Richards, who owns the Cherry Patch Ranch and Mabel’s Ranch in Crystal, said he sent a “courtesy” letter Tuesday to inform the Nye County Commission that Fleiss will work for him.

“She’s going to be madam hostess of Cherry Patch Ranch,” Richards told The Associated Press by telephone. He called her an employee rather than a partner. There’s one possible problem, though. County Sheriff Tony DeMeo said that because Fleiss is a convicted felon, she could be banned from the county’s legal sex trade. DeMeo sits with the five county commissioners on a six-member brothel licensing board.

Fleiss, 39, was released from a California prison in 1999 after serving 21 months for money laundering, tax evasion and attempted pandering. Fleiss was convicted in 1995 of running a prostitution ring in which models-turned-prostitutes were flown around the world to meet wealthy actors and clients who paid as much as $10,000 for a single meeting.

DeMeo said he’d heard several reports in his three years as sheriff about Fleiss’ plans, including a failed proposal by an Australian firm that hired Fleiss in 2003 to promote a 50-room brothel-hotel. “This is different,” Fleiss insisted Wednesday, describing movers packing her belongings and her plan to arrive in Nevada later this week. “I’m moving.”

Nye County is among 10 rural Nevada counties in which prostitution is legal under county and state oversight. Prostitution is illegal in Clark County surrounding Las Vegas, and Washoe County around Reno.

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/17/2005 at 08:36 AM   
Filed Under: • Odd-Strange •  
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Reading Assignment

Your daily reading assignment today is from the Reverend Jesse Lee Peterson and is entitled “Using Rosa Parks”. Here is a small sample ...

Was the attention given to the death of Rosa Parks overdone, and if so, why? This question came to mind as I watched and listened to the funeral services for the woman credited with sparking the civil-rights movement.

Nearly every liberal demagogue alive showed up at Rosa Parks’ funeral to score political points, including the Clintons, Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, Louis Farrakhan, and NAACP leaders.

I have no issue with Rosa Parks. But I do have an issue with liberals trying to canonize her in order to glorify themselves, and legitimize their route to “progress” through political and racial agitation instead of hard work and character.

- Read the rest and report back here for study hall

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/17/2005 at 08:26 AM   
Filed Under: • Democrats-Liberals-Moonbat Leftists • Racism and race relations •  
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Where There’s Smoke …

_{Larry Wright, The Detroit News}

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/17/2005 at 08:23 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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   Wednesday - November 16, 2005

What would we do without studies?

Rising sea levels threaten New Jersey - study

PHILADELPHIA (Reuters) - Rising sea levels caused by global warming could shrink New Jersey by up to 3 percent in the next 100 years, U.S. scientists warned on Wednesday.

The Princeton University researchers also projected that as much as 9 percent of the state’s low-lying land could be hit by periodic coastal flooding in a trend that would devastate property, disrupt wildlife, erode beaches, and salinate drinking water in populated areas.

“Sea level rise is a significant and growing threat to New Jersey,” Princeton professors Matthew Cooper, Michael Beevers and Michael Oppenheimer wrote in the report titled “Future Sea Level Rise and the New Jersey Coast.”

Coastal development, which has surged in recent years, is increasingly susceptible to inundation by rising sea waters, the erosion of beaches and low-lying areas, and storm-induced flooding, the report said.

New Jersey’s coastal counties, which contain about 60 percent of the state’s 8.6 million people, are vulnerable to rising sea levels because of a flat coastal plain, a gently sloping shoreline and barrier islands, beaches and salt marshes.

The combination can produce extensive shoreline changes with relatively small rises in sea level, the report said.

New Jersey authorities have responded to the threat by taking steps such as reinforcing flood-prone structures and building up dunes, but those efforts are likely to fail, it said.

The best response to rising sea levels is to restrict development in vulnerable coastal areas, the researchers concluded.

The authors called for a reduction in greenhouse gas emissions, which many scientists believe lead to global warming, as the most effective way of reducing the rate of sea-level rise.

Cutting emissions would have a limited effect on sea levels over the next 50 years, but it could slow the rate by 2100 and beyond, the report said.

Worldwide, sea levels are expected to rise between 0.09 and 0.88 meter (0.29 and 2.88 feet) between 1990 and 2100, the report said, citing figures from the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change.

In New Jersey, the rise is projected at an overall 0.71 meter (2.3 feet) over the period.

Quick Quiz:  How many actual facts are in this story?

Note: all emphasis mine, demonstrating the words used and how they can flavor a story

Posted by Drew458     on 11/16/2005 at 10:01 PM   
Filed Under: • Environment • Stoopid-People •  
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Attention: Goat Lovers!

“They’re all strongly endorsed by the state’s three major powerful homosexual lobbying groups. … They’re all Democrats. They’re all vocal supporters of homosexual ‘marriage’ and whatever else the homosexual lobby bids them to do. And now all four have introduced Senate bill 938. Even the left-wing Weekly Dig can’t believe that the Massachusetts Legislature is poised to go this far.”

A story in Boston’s Weekly Dig describes the legislation, entitled “An Act Relative to Archaic Crimes.” “The bill would strike down several sections of the current penal code criminalizing adultery, fornication and the advertisement of abortion,” the reported stated. “It also repeals what appears to be a sodomy statute forbidding ‘abominable and detestable crime against nature, either with mankind or with a beast.’

The bill was taken up during a public hearing Nov. 1 in the Legislature’s Joint Committee on the Judiciary. Reportedly, no one from the public testified against the measure.

- Read the rest at WorldNet Daily. Wash your hands before you come back here though.

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/16/2005 at 03:18 PM   
Filed Under: • Democrats-Liberals-Moonbat Leftists • Insanity •  
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Scotty’s Launch Delayed

“All I can say is...they don’t make them like they used ta.”
-- Scotty, Star Trek V: The Final Frontier

And it’s a good thing they don’t, Mister Scott. Those primitive 20th century savages canna even get your ashes hauled ... into space, that is ...

Ashes of ‘Star Trek’ Actor Grounded By Dud Rocket
(BREITBART)

In life, James Doohan was the “Star Trek” engineer who worked miracles on the Enterprise, but a rocket meant to blast his remains into space has engine trouble. A Falcon One rocket was to lift the ashes of Doohan, who played engineer Montgomery “Scotty” Scott aboard the fictional Starship Enterprise, into space next month but the launch has been delayed at least until February, organizers said Tuesday.

“They had an engine test they didn’t like so they will do another month of testing,” Charles Chafer of Space Services Inc. told AFP. Unlike Scotty, who told Captain James T. Kirk in a Scottish accent, “She’ll launch on time and she’ll be ready,” the US Department of Defense engineers involved with the rocket mission needed more time to sort out engine problems, Chafer said.

The “Explorers Flight” launch in California was to follow the launch of an identical rocket this month in the Marshall Islands. Concerns about an engine on the rocket in the Marshall Islands prompted the additional testing, throwing off the schedule for the originally planned California launch in December, Chafer said. “We want to fly,” Chafer said. “But, this will give us the opportunity to accept some additional participants for the ride.”

The Explorers Flight was already billed by Space Services as the largest ever memorial spaceflight, with 168 participants from eight countries aboard. Doohan, who died in July at the age of 85, had asked that his ashes be launched into the final frontier following his death. Canadian-born Doohan played engineer Montgomery Scott in the original “Star Trek” television series that started in 1966 and spawned a decades-long cult following of the show.

Doohan immortalized the starship’s engineer, a pragmatically blunt bear of a man who repeatedly managed miraculous repairs while crew members dealt with the adversities and adventures of “space, the final frontier”. Space Services, a Texas-based company, has rocketed the remains of “Star Trek” creator Gene Roddenberry and 1960s drug guru Timothy Leary into the firmament.

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/16/2005 at 03:03 PM   
Filed Under: • Science-Technology •  
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Low Down Dirty Scum

Blood pressure alert! DO NOT read this if you have high blood pressure, have served in the military or are against the death penalty. A person who would do this needs to be drawn and quartered .... and then divided into eighths just to be sure. Personally, I’m thinking of something along the lines of being buried up to the neck in desert sand, honey poured on his head and fire ants and scorpions let loose to enjoy the sweets ... and that’s just the warm-up for the real punishment I’m considering ....

HERO GI I.D.S STOLEN
November 16, 2005
(NEW YORK POST)

A janitor at a Queens military base swiped the IDs of nearly 150 soldiers serving overseas — and then used the sensitive information to get bogus credit cards to go on a shopping spree, authorities said yesterday. Edwin Gomez, 35, of Jamaica committed the terrible deed at Fort Totten in Bayside, where he grabbed some 15 pages of data on service men and women for a $2,700 online splurge, authorities said.

He was caught red-handed accepting some of the loot after a U.S. postal inspector went undercover and delivered a package Gomez ordered to his home, the Queens DA’s office said. The scam left some reservists — weary from a year spent in Iraq — shocked to find they had been ripped off while serving their country.

“I think it’s messed up. It’s really bad,” said Army Reserve Sgt. Lisa Crutch, 38, who spent 12 months as a gunner guarding convoys on the violence-plagued roads of Northern Iraq before getting home this month and discovering the fraud. “To think he would do this and think he could get away with it.”

Gomez — a convicted felon who is serving probation until 2008 — worked at the base for just three days as an employee of a subcontractor called TM Enterprises, according the Queens DA’s Office. Authorities said he managed to get his hands on 15 pages of information on some 150 soldiers. In September and October, he allegedly submitted applications to get cards from American Express and Neiman Marcus.

On Nov. 1, he allegedly bought $2,700 in high-end shirts and jeans over the Internet from Neiman Marcus using a card in the name of reservist Michael Bitondo. At about the same time, Bitondo came home from his tour in Kuwait — and found the unauthorized credit card and charges on his credit report. He immediately made a report to his local police precinct, and the postal inspectors were soon brought in.

An officer dressed up as a delivery person and brought the packages to Gomez’s home, where the suspect signed for the item. He was soon arrested and charged with identity theft, grand larceny and criminal possession of stolen property. He was ordered held in lieu of $50,000 bail last night and faces up to seven years in prison.

Additional reporting by Neil Graves
alex.ginsberg@nypost.com

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/16/2005 at 11:25 AM   
Filed Under: • Crime •  
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Daily Turkey Report

Today’s “Armed Citizenry” report comes from Kentucky and concerns a burglar who obviously didn’t realize the utter stupidity of breaking into the house of a member of the Turkey Hunters Hall Of Fame ...

Charges Unlikely Against Hall Of Fame Hunter Who Shot Alleged Intruder
Rush, KY (WLEX)

Charges are unlikely to be filed against a member of the Kentucky Turkey Hunters Hall of Fame who fatally shot an alleged intruder in his home early Friday, according to officials. Roland Burns, 65, of Rush, told investigators that he awoke shortly before 12:30 a.m. Friday to find the man in his home in rural Boyd County, Trooper Ed Ginter said.

Shannon Scott Conley, 32, of Rush, was pronounced dead at the scene. Boyd County Commonwealth’s attorney J. Stewart Schneider says it is unlikely he will charge Burns with a crime. He said Tuesday that it looks like Burns acted within state law when he shot and killed Conley.

Relatives say Conley had grown up in the house where burns and his family now live. They say the former Marine, actor and model, was bi-polar, and that, as a child, his father had told him there was hidden treasure in the house. They also say Conley was obsessed to the point of madness to get back into his family’s former home.

Ginter said Burns told investigators that he was awakened by a vehicle in his driveway. He said he went to investigate and found the alleged intruder in his house. Burns told police he returned to his bedroom for a gun. “Mr. Burns ordered the man to leave the home,” Ginter said in a press release. “A struggle ensued, and Mr. Conley was fatally wounded.”

Burns, who was inducted into the Turkey Hunters Hall of Fame in 2003 by the Kentucky chapter of the National Wild Turkey Federation, was not injured, Ginter said. Conley’s funeral is scheduled for Wednesday afternoon in Flatwoods.

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/16/2005 at 10:30 AM   
Filed Under: • Crime • Stoopid-People •  
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Another Spy Story

Let’s see, this is something like the 300th Chinese spy caught in the US working for a secret government project, right? First, Bill Clinton and the Dummycraps tried to give away all of our military secrets to the Commie Chinese rats. Nowadays, we just hire them and give them full access to all the Top Secret goodness we possess?

Whatever happened to the good old days when the FBI did their job in screening these infiltrators out. Has “due diligence” in background checks and regular monitoring of subjects given way to politically correct avoidance of racial profiling? How in hell did an immigrant get on the payroll of a defense contractor working on Top Secret projects, even if he is a “naturalized US citizen”?

If you think our porous border with Mexico is our biggest problem, you need to immediately go to Wal-Mart and purchase a clue! All the Mess-cans do is cut the grass and sweep the streets - the flood from Asia is bringing in a lot of highly technical people and some of them are just moles with nefarious purposes in mind.

A big part of the problem is that the US is unable to interest our own children in getting educations in engineering and technical fields nowadays. As a college professor in Computer Science, I have seen enrollments in CIS programs drop precipitously in the last fifteen years. Our high schools are not preparing our children for the hard sciences in college and the kids themselves just don’t seem to care. The nation that invented the technology that sent men to the moon is suffering from “brain drain” and the hungry Asian kids are more than eager to fill the gap. Unfortunately, we’re getting the good with the bad ...

Further Reading:
“Decline and Fall of the American Programmer” by Ed Yourdan
“OUTSOURCE : Competing in the Global Productivity Race” by Ed Yourdan
“Rising Elephant : The Growing Clash With India Over White Collar Jobs” by Ashutosh Sheshabalaya

Three Charged In US With Being Agents For China
LOS ANGELES (Reuters)

A Chinese-born engineer for a defense contractor and two of his family members, previously charged with stealing information about Navy warships, were indicted on Tuesday with acting as agents of China. Chi Mak, 65, an engineer with a California defense contractor, his brother Tai Wang Mak, 56, and Chi Mak’s wife Rebecca Laiwah Chiu, 62, were already in custody, along with Tai’s wife Fuk Heung Li.

All four were previously charged with conspiring to steal secrets about a classified U.S. Navy project and deliver them to China. The federal court indictment, which was handed down by a grand jury on Tuesday, charges Chi Mak, Tai Mak and Chiu with an additional count of acting as an agent for a foreign government.

Li was not charged in the superseding indictment and the previous charges were dropped. According to an FBI affidavit filed with the original charges, Chi, an engineer at California-based contractor Power Paragon, and his wife are naturalized U.S. citizens originally from China. Tai and his wife are legal U.S. residents who emigrated from China in 2001.

Although none of the defendants was charged with spying, FBI Special Agent James Gaylord wrote in the affidavit he believed them to be foreign intelligence officers involved in stealing U.S. military secrets and delivering them to the Chinese government. Chi, the lead engineer on a classified research project involving quiet propulsion systems—known as Quiet Electric Drive—for U.S. Navy warships, is accused of taking sensitive information about the project, copying it onto CDs and delivering them to his brother, Tai.

Tai, according to the affidavit, is accused of encrypting the information and making plans to take it to China with his wife. Chiu is accused of helping her husband copy the material. Gaylord said in the affidavit that evidence against the four defendants included torn-up documents recovered from the trash at Chi’s residence that included lists of sought military technologies as well as intercepted phone calls and e-mails.

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/16/2005 at 08:00 AM   
Filed Under: • Crime • Science-Technology •  
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Is It Safe Yet?

Just because you live in the Midwest doesn’t mean you’re safe from the wrath of Mother nature and hurricane force winds. Au contraire, mon ami! A hurricane is like a nuclear bomb going off in your neighborhood while a tornado is more like a hidden sniper at 4,000 yards - who hates trailer parks and ... in some cases, emergency management offices ...

Funnel Clouds Spotted In Four States
Storms rage across the nation’s midsection
PARIS, Tenn. (CNN)

Severe thunderstorms rolled across the nation’s midsection late Tuesday, producing funnel clouds that tore off roofs and destroyed or damaged buildings in at least four states. Tornado touchdowns were spotted in 12 counties in western and central Tennessee, with the worst damage apparently occurring in Henry County, about 90 miles west of Nashville.

“Numerous homes there were damaged, some completely destroyed,” said Faye Scott, spokeswoman for the Henry County Sheriff’s Department. “It’s major destruction.” Funnel clouds were also sighted in Indiana, Illinois and Kentucky, but it was unclear how many remained aloft or touched the ground. There were no immediate reports of serious injuries.

A tornado made a direct hit on Henry County’s emergency management center, forcing authorities to relocate to another building to handle the disaster, County Mayor Brent Greer said.

- Grab Toto and Go Read More Here

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/16/2005 at 07:30 AM   
Filed Under: • Climate-Weather •  
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Not that very many people ever read this far down, but this blog was the creation of Allan Kelly and his friend Vilmar. Vilmar moved on to his own blog some time ago, and Allan ran this place alone until his sudden and unexpected death partway through 2006. We all miss him. A lot. Even though he is gone this site will always still be more than a little bit his. We who are left to carry on the BMEWS tradition owe him a great debt of gratitude, and we hope to be able to pay that back by following his last advice to us all:

1. Keep a firm grasp of Right and Wrong
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It's been a long strange trip without you Skipper, but thanks for pointing us in the right direction and giving us a swift kick in the behind to get us going. Keep lookin' down on us, will ya? Thanks.

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