Saturday - November 05, 2005

Boobie Science

Everything you ever wanted to know about breasts but were afraid to ask ....

• Modern women’s chests are expanding nearly as fast as their bellies.


• There has been an increase in the past 15 years of more than one bra size for the average American woman—from a 34B to a 36C.


• A pair of D-cup breasts weighs between 15 and 23 pounds—the equivalent of carrying around two small turkeys.


• The structure of breasts is still something of a mystery.


• Bra designers are using high technology to solve the mystery. A thingamajig with diodes, cameras, treadmills, etc.


• Conclusion #1: Small breasts can move more than three inches vertically while jogging, and large breasts sometimes leave their bras entirely.


• Conclusion #2: The larger the breasts and the more they move, the more momentum they generate.


• Regarding two items immediately above, refer to Newtons Second Law ... which explains saggy breasts.

- Haul Your Mammaries Over To Discover.Com To Read More Silly Science

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/05/2005 at 02:27 PM   
Filed Under: • Science-Technology •  
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Stoned On Facts

The world is still an awful, dangerous place to live. Some people can’t handle the pressure and some are just weak. Others are determined to make as much money as possible off of the weak links in society. No, I’m not talking about Eli Lilly and Pfizer who make billions selling Prozac and Zanax respectively. I’m talking about the Colombian cartels and the Afghan warlords and the Burmese farmers but especially your local pusher man and the organization behind him which gets 76% of the profit on drug sales ....

Drug Trafficking Facts:

• 200 million, or 5 percent of the world’s population—number of people worldwide aged 15-64 who have used drugs at least once in the last 12 months.


• $13 billion—estimated value of global illicit drug market in 2003 at production level.


• $94 billion—estimated value at the wholesale level.


• $322 billion—estimated value at retail level.


• $70.5 billion—estimated value of cocaine alone at retail level.


• $17 billion—value of exports worldwide of wine in 2003.


• $6 billion—value of exports worldwide of coffee.


• $65.2 million—1972 Drug Enforcement Administration budget.


• 2,775—1972 number of DEA employees.


• $2.1 billion—2005 DEA budget.


• 10,894—2005 number of DEA employees.


• 44 percent—North America’s share of worldwide drug purchases.


• 33 percent—Europe’s share of worldwide drug purchases.


• 76 percent—share of total drug profits generated in industrialized countries.


• 1 percent—share of profits earned by producers of cocaine and heroin in developing nations.


• 125,921—number of emergency room visits in U.S. in second half of 2003 in which cocaine was a factor.


• Movie producer Don Simpson; actor River Phoenix; John Entwistle, bassist for The Who; comedian John Belushi; comedian Chris Farley; Bobby Sheehan, bassist for Blues Traveler; University of Maryland basketball star Len Bias—celebrities who died from cocaine or cocaine mixed with other drugs.


• Sulfuric acid, gasoline or kerosene, ether, ammonia, acetone—substances used to convert coca leaves into cocaine.

_{Sources: U.N. Office on Drugs and Crime; Drug Abuse Warning Network (DAWN); DEA}

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/05/2005 at 01:58 PM   
Filed Under: • News-Briefs •  
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Most Ridiculous Item Of The Week (so far)

If you’re gonna deface public buildings and highways in Las Vegas, be careful. The mayor wants to cut off your thumb for doing it. This ought to really increase sales of Wendy’s Chili ....

Oscar does it again!
The happiest mayor calls for cutting off the thumbs of graffiti artists on television and caning and whipping children
(LAS VEGAS SUN)

Las Vegas Mayor Oscar Goodman suggested Wednesday that those who deface freeways with graffiti should have their thumbs cut off on television. Goodman, appearing on the television program “Nevada Newsmakers” in Reno, said: “In the old days in France, they had beheading of people who commit heinous crimes.

“You know, we have a beautiful highway landscaping redevelopment in our downtown. We have desert tortoises and beautiful paintings of flora and fauna. These punks come along and deface it. “I’m saying maybe you put them on TV and cut off a thumb,” the mayor added. “That may be the right thing to do.”

Goodman also suggested that whippings or canings should be brought back for children who get into trouble. “I also believe in a little bit of corporal punishment going back to the days of yore, where examples have to be shown,” Goodman said. “I’m dead serious,” said Goodman, a guest on the panel show.

Parents are supposed to take care of their children, but government replaces them on some occasions, Goodman said. “Some of these (children) don’t learn,” he said. “You have got to teach them a lesson, and this is coming from a criminal defense lawyer.” Goodman then added: “They would get a trial first.”

Another panelist on the show, Howard Rosenberg, a member of the university Board of Regents, responded by saying that Goodman should “use his head for something other than a hat rack.” Cutting off the thumbs of taggers will not solve the problem, Rosenberg said.

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/05/2005 at 01:48 PM   
Filed Under: • Odd-Strange •  
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Weekly Pet Peeves

• Stop giving me that pop-up ad for Classmates.com!  There’s a reason you don’t talk to people for 25 years.  Because you don’t particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days: mowing my lawn.


• Don’t eat anything that’s served to you out a window unless you’re a seagull.  People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy’s chili.  Hey, it cost less than a dollar.  What did you expect it to contain?  Trout?  Luckily, it was only a finger!  If it was a whole hand, Congress would have voted to keep it alive.


• Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged.  I have a better description for these kids: lucky bastards.


• If you need to shave and you still collect baseball cards, you’re a homo. If you’re a kid, the cards are keepsakes of your idols.  If you’re a grown man, they’re pictures of men.


• Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone.  Here’s how much men care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them?  Okay, we’re done.


• There’s no such thing as flavored water.  There’s a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but without that watery taste.  Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink.  You want flavored water?  Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt.  That’s your flavored water.


• Stop f***ing with old people.  Target is introducing a redesigned pill bottle that’s square, with a bigger label.  And the top is now the bottom.  And by the time grandpa figures out how to open it, his ass will be in the morgue.  Congratulations, Target, you just solved the Social Security crisis.


• The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a “decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n’-Low and one NutraSweet,” ooh, you’re a huge asshole.


• I’m not the cashier!  By the time I look up from sliding my card, entering my PIN number, pressing “Enter,” verifying the amount, deciding, no, I don’t want cash back, and pressing “Enter” again, the kid who is supposed to be ringing me up is standing there eating my Almond Joy.  Paper, plastic?  I don’t have time for that.  I’ve just been called to do a cleanup on Aisle Nine!


• Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn’t make you spiritual.  It’s right above the crack of your ass.  And it translates to “beef with broccoli.” The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren’t pregnant.  You’re not spiritual.  You’re just high.


• Competitive eating isn’t a sport.  It’s one of the seven deadly sins.  ESPN recently televised the US Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too damned exciting. What’s next, competitive farting?  Oh wait.  They’re already doing that. It’s called “The Howard Stern Show.”


• I don’t need a bigger mega M&M.  If I’m extra hungry for M&Ms, I’ll go nuts and eat two.


• If you’re going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what’s playing on the other screens.  Let’s remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is the idea wasn’t good enough to be a movie.


• No more gift registries.  You know, it used to be just for weddings.  Now it’s for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking up the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn’t gift giving, it’s the white people version of looting.


• No more bathroom attendants.  After I zip up, some guy is offering me a towel and a mint like I just had sex with George Michael.  I can’t even tell if he’s supposed to be there, or just some freak with a fetish.  I don’t want to be on your web cam, dude.  I just want to wash my hands.


• When I ask how old your toddler is, I don’t need to know in months.  “27 Months.” “He’s two,” will do just fine.  He’s not a cheese. And I didn’t care in the first place.

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/05/2005 at 10:32 AM   
Filed Under: • Personal •  
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Caption Contest!

Researchers at the University of Missouri have mounted wireless video cameras on white-tailed deer to get a better idea of how the animals see their world and what’s behind their behavior.

The battery-run cameras with miniature transmitters were placed between the antlers of two bucks and round the neck of one doe. The images are sent electronically to VHS tape for recording.

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/05/2005 at 06:21 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor • Science-Technology •  
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Road Rage In Baghdad?

No, we’re not talking about suicide car-bombers. We’re talking about ordinary traffic jams and angry drivers caught in traffic. In Baghdad, no less. Why? Here’s the scoop from the NY Times ...

With the virtual collapse of the state, rules have fallen away and the city seems almost to have caved in on itself in an egocentric free-for-all. Drivers shove past one another under broken traffic lights. Policemen gesture frantically to try to control them.

But for all the frustration they cause, the seas of idling cars are also a sign of progress. Salaries have jumped from a few dollars a month under Saddam Hussein to a few hundred now, turning Iraqis into consumers overnight, buying up air-conditioners, jewelry and, of course, cars. Since the fall of Mr. Hussein, the number of registered cars in Baghdad has doubled to 3.1 million, according to Maj. Gen. Jaffar Tomah Katham, head of the traffic police here. Traffic, as a result, has slowed to a crawl. “It is not the autobahn,” General Katham said, sitting behind a large desk in his office trimmed with heavy gold curtains in central Baghdad.

So the Iraqis are now having to deal with more wealth, more cars and the early morning rush hour. Big deal. Americans have had to deal with it for nearly a century. What I want to know is why the NY Slimes feels the need to refer to Ol “Sodomy” Hussein as “Mr. Hussein” but refers to the President of the United States simply as “Bush”?

- Honk If You Want To Read The Rest

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/05/2005 at 05:55 AM   
Filed Under: • Iraq • Media-Bias •  
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Super-Glue Follow-Up

Remember the psycho girlfriend from hell? She’s been ordered to pay over $46k to her ex-boyfriend. Her lawyer’s defense came unglued before the jury ....

Jury Rules Against Woman in Genital Gluing
GREENSBURG, Pa. (AP)

A Westmoreland County jury on Friday ordered a woman to pay $46,200 to her ex-boyfriend for gluing his genitals to his abdomen. Jurors found in favor of Kenneth Slaby of Pittsburgh in his civil case against Gail O’Toole of Murrysville after three days of testimony and ordered the payment for pain, suffering and emotional distress, according to television station KDKA.

“For all the pain and suffering I’ve been through, and the embarrassment, I don’t think it’s enough,” Slaby told reporters after the verdict. Slaby’s lawsuit said the two broke up in 1999 after dating for 10 months, and he began dating someone else. After he broke up with his other girlfriend, Slaby said, O’Toole invited him over to her home on May 7, 2000, where he fell asleep.

He said he woke up to find that O’Toole had used Super Glue to stick his genitals to his abdomen, glued his buttocks together and spelled out a profanity on his back in nail polish.

Slaby said O’Toole told him that her actions were payback for their breakup, and he had to walk a mile to a gas station to call for help. He pressed charges and O’Toole pleaded guilty to misdemeanor assault and spent six months on probation.

But O’Toole’s attorney contended that the incident was nothing more than part of the couple’s adventurous, consensual sex.

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/05/2005 at 05:00 AM   
Filed Under: • Odd-Strange •  
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   Friday - November 04, 2005

Out Of Control In Paris

Now the MOOS-lim rioters in Paris are setting fire to little old ladies. Handicapped, no less. It’s time for the gendarmes to start firing real bullets. Fire at will, Jacques (if you have any balls left, mon ami)! Open season. No bag limit ....

A woman on crutches was doused in flammable liquid and set on fire earlier this week as she tried to get off a bus in a Paris suburb, a judicial official said Friday. She suffered severe burns.

In the eastern city of Dijon, teens apparently angered by a police crackdown on drug trafficking in their neighborhood set fire to five cars, said Paul Ronciere, the region’s top government official.

Another 11 cars were burned at a housing project in Salon-de-Provence, near the southern city of Marseille, police said. Overnight in the Paris region, at least 520 cars were set ablaze, up from previous nights, the Interior Ministry said. It said five police were slightly injured by thrown stones or bottles.

- Read The Rest Of This Sorry Account Of Muslim “Peacefulness”

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/04/2005 at 05:55 PM   
Filed Under: • Crime • EUro-peons • RoPMA •  
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Khadaffi Duck Jails Blogger

Freedom of speech in the Arab world? Get real! Folks, the governments of the Middle East don’t know how to conduct business in a free and open society. All they know is fascism. Islamofascism, if you want to be entirely correct. It’s amazing to me that the groups in America who benefit the most from free speech and even abuse it are the ones who are violently against our attempts to bring freedom and democracy to that backward region. Don’t even get me started on the women’s rights groups who don’t give a rat’s a** about their female counterparts who live under outright slavery and oppression, all according to Islamic “laws”. Bah!

Libya Reportedly Puts Blogger in Prison
CAIRO, Egypt (AP)

Libya has sent to prison for 18 months a blogger who criticized the government on the Internet, Human Rights Watch says in a report that inspired a series of Web tributes to the dissident Friday. A Tripoli court convicted Abdel Raziq al-Mansuri of illegal possession of a handgun and sentenced him to 18 months’ imprisonment on Oct. 19, the New York-based rights group said in an e-mail to The Associated Press in Cairo.

“The gun charges are a ruse,” said the Middle Eastern director of HRW, Sarah Leah Whitson. “The authorities went after al-Mansuri because they did not like what he wrote.” Al-Mansuri, 52, was detained in Tobruk, his hometown, in January after publishing about 50 articles critical of Libyan society and government on a dissident Web site based in Britain, http://www.akhbar-libya.com, the rights group said Thursday.

Libyan government officials were not available for comment Friday as the country was celebrating the Eid al-Fitr holiday that follows the holy month of Ramadan. The rights group, who visited al-Mansuri in Tripoli’s Abu Selim prison on May 5, said his family published the outcome of his trial in an Oct. 27 letter to the government, media and rights organizations that condemned al-Mansuri’s detention and sentence.

“Such outspoken criticism is rare in Libya,” said Human Rights Watch. Politics has been tightly controlled in the country since Col. Moammar Gadhafi seized power in 1969. The letter said the authorities had asked family members to denounce al-Mansuri as mentally deranged.

“If defending the right to free speech, and asking for basic human rights is insane in our country, then welcome to a family that is, from its oldest to its youngest, insane,” the letter said, according to Human Rights Watch. The letter added that in sentencing al-Mansuri, the court had refused to give him credit for the months in detention he had already served.

The rights group said that after detaining al-Mansuri, Libyan security officials searched his home and “found an old pistol that belonged to his father.” The group reported the head of the Internal Security Agency, Col. Tuhami Khaled, as denying that al-Mansuri was arrested for his Internet writings.

“He was arrested because he had a gun without a license,” the group quoted Khaled as telling its representatives in May. Asked why the Internal Security Agency was detaining al-Mansuri instead of the police, Khaled replied that the pistol was “a job for internal security,” the group said.

- Read More On This Story Here

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/04/2005 at 09:23 AM   
Filed Under: • RoPMA •  
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Here We Go Again

_{Steve Breen—The San Diego Union-Tribune}

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/04/2005 at 02:41 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor • Judges-Courts-Lawyers •  
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   Thursday - November 03, 2005

Democrats Defeat Online Freedom Of Speech Act

The Dummycraps in Congress banded together and, in a vote that split right along party lines, defeated the Online Freedom Of Speech Act, which would have amended U.S. election laws to immunize bloggers from hundreds of pages of federal regulations. In other words, the Donks don’t want us bloggers to be free to say whatever we want about candidates. They say they’re afraid soft money might find its way into our evil little pockets. In short, they’re afraid of us bloggers after the last election when they the Dummycraps got their clocks cleaned with help from bloggers who refused to let them get away with their usual bulls**t and lies.

I freely admit that I did my share in exposing John Kerry for the idiotic gigolo he is and I did everything I could to get Dubya re-elected and ya know what ....? I didn’t receive a single red cent from the RNC, the Bush-Cheney campaign or anybody associated with the election. If the FEC wants to look at my books and my bank account, they may feel free to do so at any time (provided they bring a duly signed warrant). What they are not going to do is tell me what I can or cannot say on this blog.

Democrats Defeat Election-Law Aid For Bloggers
Democrats on Wednesday managed to defeat a bill aimed at amending U.S. election laws to immunize bloggers from hundreds of pages of federal regulations.

In an acrimonious debate that broke largely along party lines, more than three-quarters of congressional Democrats voted to oppose the reform bill, which had enjoyed wide support from online activists and Web commentators worried about having to comply with a tangled skein of rules. The vote tally in the House of Representatives, 225 to 182, was not enough to send the Online Freedom of Speech Act to the Senate. Under the rules that House leaders adopted to accelerate the process, a two-thirds supermajority was required.

“I’m horribly disappointed that this important measure failed to pass,” said Rep. Mark Kennedy, R-Minn. “This bill was designed to protect the free-speech rights of Americans whose only alleged crime is wanting to use the Internet to express their opinions.”

The Federal Election Commission is under court order to finalize rules extending a controversial 2002 campaign finance law to the Internet. Unless Congress acts, the final regulations are expected to be announced by the end of the year. (They could cover everything from regulating hyperlinks to politicians’ Web sites to forcing disclosure of affiliations with campaigns.)

Opponents of the reform plan mounted a last-minute effort to derail the bill before the vote on Wednesday evening. Liberal advocacy groups circulated letters warning the measure was too broad and would invite “corrupt” activities online, and The New York Times wrote in an editorial this week that “the Internet would become a free-fire zone without any limits on spending.”

Rep. Marty Meehan, a Massachusetts Democrat who opposed the bill, said during the floor debate: “We don’t allow child pornography on the Internet. We don’t exempt it from consumer safety laws...We don’t because we think those laws are important.” Campaign finance regulations should be extended as well, he said.

Rep. Lloyd Doggett, a Texas Democrat, said that if the bill were approved, the public would have “no idea whether Internet campaign ads are being financed by secret soft money.” Soft money is a general term referring to funds not regulated by election laws.

- Go Read More On This At C|Net News

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/03/2005 at 03:17 PM   
Filed Under: • Democrats-Liberals-Moonbat Leftists •  
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British Judge Apologizes To Muslim Criminal

Unbelievable! Does anyone have any idea what is happening in Europe nowadays? The MOOS-lims are burning Paris to the ground, shooting at cops and in Britain, a judge apologizes to a MOOS-lim terrorist for scheduling his trial date on a Muslim holy day!!!! Kick that judge off the bench and shoot the MOOS-lim. DAMMITALL!! When the revolution comes and I’me declared president for life, we’re gonna straighten out a whole lot of these Muzzi ragheads and the Liberal appeasers. Yes, sir! Up against the wall!! BANG! BANG!

Judge Apologizes for Muslim Holiday Order
LONDON (AP)

A British judge apologized Thursday to a suspected Islamic militant ordered to appear in court for an extradition hearing on one of the Muslim calendar’s holiest days. Haroon Rashid Aswat, 31, is accused of trying to set up a terrorist training camp in Oregon, and the U.S. government is seeking his extradition. He appeared in London’s Bow Street Magistrate’s Court on Thursday for the first day of the hearing.

“It is the most important day of my religion today—Eid,” Aswat told Judge Timothy Workman, referring to the festival of Eid al-Fitr that ends a month of fasting during the Islamic holy month of Ramadan.

“For me it is not a problem,” he told the judge. “I can understand it is about technical difficulties. But for these people doing these bombings in this country, they are very simpleminded—they take it as an insult.

Workman apologized for the timing of the appearance, saying: “If I had known we would have picked a different day.”

U.S. lawyer Clair Dobbin said Washington was seeking extradition in relation to “conduct which took place between October 1999 and the early stages of 2000, which involved the setting-up of a jihad training camp in Bly, Oregon.”

Aswat’s case was adjourned until Nov. 24.

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/03/2005 at 02:11 PM   
Filed Under: • Judges-Courts-Lawyers • Outrageous • RoPMA • Terrorists •  
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Paris Is Burning Update

- Muslim rioters have started shooting at police and firemen!

- Violence is spreading to other Paris suburbs!

- Jacques Chirac is pleading for calm!

- Rival French politicians are banding together to “denounce” the riots!

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/03/2005 at 01:52 PM   
Filed Under: • EUro-peons • RoPMA •  
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Paris Is Still Burning One Week Later

One week later and the MOOS-lims are trying their best to burn Paris down around their ears. The French are finally reaping the fruits of their integration experiment. Key quote below: “If French society accepts these tinderboxes in its society, it cannot be surprised when they explode”.

Paris Riots Hit One Week
CLICHY-SOUS-BOIS, France (FOX NEWS)

Menacing youths smoked cigarettes in doorways Wednesday and hulks of burned cars littered the tough streets of Paris’ northeastern suburbs scarred by a week of riots that left residents on edge and sent the government into crisis mode.

In a seventh consecutive night of skirmishes, young people threw rocks at police Wednesday in six suburbs in the Seine-Saint-Denis region north of Paris — about a 40-minute drive from the Eiffel Tower. In one of them, Le Blanc-Mesnil, about a dozen cars burned and curious residents, some in slippers and bathrobes, poured into the streets.

Some said the unrest — sparked by the accidental deaths of two teenagers last week — is an expression of frustration over grinding unemployment and police harassment in the communities, where many North African immigrants live. “It is not going to end. It is going to explode,” said an 18-year-old who would only give his name as Amine.

Prime Minister Dominique de Villepin and Interior Minister Nicolas Sarkozy (search) both canceled trips abroad to deal with the unrest. “The government is entirely mobilized. Its immediate priority is to restore public order, and restore it without delay,” de Villepin said.

Muslim leaders at Clichy-sous-Bois’ mosque, meanwhile, prayed for peace and asked parents to keep teenagers off the streets after skirmishes broke out after two teenage boys were electrocuted last Thursday while hiding in a power substation because they believed police were chasing them.

The unrest spread to at least nine Paris-region towns overnight Tuesday, exposing the despair, anger and criminality in France’s poor suburbs — fertile terrain for Islamic extremists, drug dealers and racketeers.

The violence, concentrated in neighborhoods with large African and Muslim populations, has highlighted the difficulties many European nations face with immigrant communities feeling marginalized and restive, cut off from the continent’s prosperity and, for some extremists, its values, too.

“They have no work. They have nothing to do. Put yourself in their place,” said Abderrahmane Bouhout, president of the Clichy-sous-Bois mosque, where a tear gas grenade exploded Sunday evening. Local youths suspected a police attack, and authorities are investigating.

The violence cast doubt on the success of France’s model of seeking to integrate its large immigrant community — its Muslim population, at an estimated 5 million, is Western Europe’s largest — by playing down differences between ethnic groups. But rather than be embraced as full and equal citizens, immigrants and their French-born children often complain of police harassment and of being refused jobs, housing and opportunities.

“If French society accepts these tinderboxes in its society, it cannot be surprised when they explode,” said Claude Dilain, the Socialist mayor of the Clichy-sous-Bois suburb.

- Read The Rest At FOX

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/03/2005 at 08:03 AM   
Filed Under: • EUro-peons • RoPMA •  
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Not that very many people ever read this far down, but this blog was the creation of Allan Kelly and his friend Vilmar. Vilmar moved on to his own blog some time ago, and Allan ran this place alone until his sudden and unexpected death partway through 2006. We all miss him. A lot. Even though he is gone this site will always still be more than a little bit his. We who are left to carry on the BMEWS tradition owe him a great debt of gratitude, and we hope to be able to pay that back by following his last advice to us all:

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It's been a long strange trip without you Skipper, but thanks for pointing us in the right direction and giving us a swift kick in the behind to get us going. Keep lookin' down on us, will ya? Thanks.

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