Wednesday - December 08, 2004

You Be The Jury

Your assignment for today: first go read this story.

All finished?

Good. Now, pretend you are on the jury several weeks from now after they capture this guy. What is your verdict?

Remember, beer is your friend ....

Posted by The Skipper     on 12/08/2004 at 06:06 AM   
Filed Under: • Miscellaneous •  
• Comments (3) • Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

Daily Dose

Quote Of The Day

“I’m going to Iowa for an award. Then I’m appearing at Carnegie Hall, it’s sold out. Then I’m sailing to France to be honored by the French government. I’d give it all up for one erection.”
-- Groucho Marx

In 1980, John Lennon was shot as he was entering his luxury Manhattan apartment building when Mark David Chapman shot him four times at close range with a .38-caliber revolver. Lennon, bleeding profusely, was rushed to the hospital but died en route. Happiness is a warm gun. Indeed.

In 1993, The North American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA) was signed into law by President Bill Clinton. Clinton said he hoped the agreement would encourage other nations to work toward a broader world-trade pact. The “great sucking sound” that Ross Perot predicted if NAFTA was enacted then started .... not at the border but in the White House three years later.

In 1941, as America’s Pacific fleet lay in ruins at Pearl Harbor, President Franklin Roosevelt requests, and receives, a declaration of war against Japan from the US Congress. It was the last time Congress actually declared war on anybody, instead relying on future Presidents to declare war so they could harass him about it later at election time.

The Euro-Finks Are Finally Getting Fed Up With Muslims - About Time! .... Jimmy Carter’s Grandson Busted For Smoking Pot - Reefer Peanut Madness, Indeed! .... Japan Exports Cars That Don’t Suck And Women That DO! - Domo Arigato, Mr. Roboto .... Woman Hangs Up On Telemarketer And Later Gets Threateneing Letter From Irate SOB Telemarketer - So There!

There you have it. Vilmar will be along shortly with all this and more. Stay tuned.

Posted by The Skipper     on 12/08/2004 at 04:00 AM   
Filed Under: • Miscellaneous •  
• Comments (0) • Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

   Tuesday - December 07, 2004

I Have A New Girlfriend ….

I have a new girlfriend .... and she is rich too! YAY!

Everyone please reply to my princess and tell her I am a rich American and would love to meet her.

Dear Friend,

GOOD DAY AND COMPLIMENT,

I am writting this letter in confident believing that if it is the will of God for you to help me and my family, God Almighty will give you the grace to do so and He will bless and reward you abundantly, I got your contact through internet during my search on some one who would help us.

I use to be a female student with the University Du Benin, I am 24 years old I could like any person who is caring, loving and home oriented I would love to have long-term relationship with you and to know more about you.

I would also like to build up a solid foundation with you in time coming if you can be able to help me in this transaction. Well; my both parents died earlier seven month ago in a tragic car accident while coming back from a wedding reception of a relation, I and my kid brother were left alone, my father was a titled King before his death.

I was his Princess and the only one now who can take care of his wealth with my kid brother, presently we are in Cotonou for safety reasons because of the little wealth he left behind for us as we were being hunted by his kingsmen who wants to make away with the huge money.My father left (US$36,350.000.00) thirty six million three hundred and fifty thousand USD with a security company before he died and I don’t now how and what I will do to invest this money somewhere overseas so that his kindred will not take the money over what belong to my father, I am a young female as stated and by our culture that is why I was happy when I saw your contact and I strongly believe that by the grace of God you will help us secure and invest this money.

I therefore need your help in bringing the boxes contaning the money out from the security company, based on your reply I will furnish you with more details on how we can proceed.

Meanwhile, I am ready to pay 10% of the total amount to you if you help us in securing this money and another 10% interest of annual income for handling this business for us which you have absolute control over, if you can handle this project sincerely and also willing to assist me in lifting this money,kindly reach me and I will let you know the next step to take toward actualizing this transaction as quickly as possible.

Please, note that this transaction is 100% risk free.I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Thank you and God bless you.

Princess Victoria Udeji
princess_vic1@yahoo.com.mx

Posted by The Skipper     on 12/07/2004 at 08:29 PM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
• Comments (4) • Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

News Flash

This is scary news from our northern neighbor ....

Illegal Aliens Frightening Canadians

(BBC) - December 7, 2004 - The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The re-election of President Bush is prompting the exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they’ll soon be required to hunt, pray, and agree with Bill O’Reilly. Canadian border farmers say it’s not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal-rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night.

“I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn,” said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry.

“He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken.  When I said I didn’t have any, he left.  Didn’t even get a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?”

In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare Rush Limbaugh across the fields. “Not real effective,” he said. “The liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much they wouldn’t give milk.”

Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them across the border and leave them to fend for themselves.  “A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions,” an Ontario border patrolman said.

“I found one carload without a drop of drinking water.  They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though.”

When liberals are caught, they’re sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about the Bush administration establishing re-education camps in which liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR.

In the days since the election, liberals have turned to sometimes-ingenious ways of crossing the border.  Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizen passengers. “If they can’t identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we get suspicious about their age,” an official said.

Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan Sarandon movies.

“I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can’t support them,” an Ottawa resident said. “How many art-history majors does one country need?”

In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and Canada, Vice President Dick Cheney met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged that the administration would take steps to reassure liberals, a source close to Cheney said. “We’re going to have some Peter, Paul & Mary concerts.  And we might put some endangered species on postage stamps. The president is determined to reach out.”

Update: In case there are any liberal lunatics out there reading this and saying “Ohmigosh, is it really that bad up there” .... THIS IS A FUCKING PARODY, DUMBASSES.

Posted by The Skipper     on 12/07/2004 at 02:08 PM   
Filed Under: • Miscellaneous •  
• Comments (6) • Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

Choices ….

Which had you rather have in your face, guys?

This ....

Or this ....

Sorry, but you can’t have both. If you want a 1,420 calorie burger you will become a fat fuck and I’m afraid Jennifer Ellison probably would be way out of your league, guys. Sorry but that’s just the way it is. Now, stop your whining and go get some exercise and eat decent food. Jennifer is wiating for your phone call ....

Posted by The Skipper     on 12/07/2004 at 09:39 AM   
Filed Under: • Miscellaneous •  
• Comments (12) • Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

This Is Sooooo Wrong!

Only in California can something like this happen.

Garbage truck drivers and employees are issued county cell phones for use on duty.  A couple of them run up more than $7000 in bills in a month. 

You and I would do a few things:

1.  Dock the worker’s pay and possibly fire them for gross stupidity in using government phones for personal use
2.  Revisit the need to issue all employees a cell phone, for Christ’s sake
3.  Find out how the hell you can run up $7000 a month!  Were these bastards even working or were they talking on the phone all the time?

The city’s solution?  Allow all employees a $75 per month stipend to use the phones!  SEVENTY FIVE FUCKING DOLLARS PER MONTH!!! They say their:

“managers had failed to properly instruct them (the drivers) that it was wrong to make personal calls on the city’s cell phones.”

And this is how they excuse it:

“I think people honestly did their best to figure this out. In the meantime the young people need to be chastised properly, as we will do.”

These fucking assholes in California deserve this kind of crap. What fuckards.  What forons!  What moonbats.

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 12/07/2004 at 08:05 AM   
Filed Under: • Miscellaneous •  
• Comments (2) • Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

Not Sure How To Take This

For years I’ve railed against the head of te NAACP, Squeezy Perfumey, for his stances regarding Blacks in America.

Now I find this in Human Events and do not quite know what to say.

A couple of days ago I posted a snippet where Kweisi MFume was dropping out of the NAACP and suggested Bill Cosby be named the head of that useless organization with hopes that Cos’ could bring back sanity to it.

But according to Human Events, Squeezy quit because he was forced out by Julian Bond---for taking sides with Republicans!  WTF,O?!?!?!

Squeezy siding with President Bush’s people?

This is what started it:

“The two began feuding after Mfume nominated National Security Advisor Condoleezza Rice for his 2003 NAACP Image Award. Furious that Mfume was reaching out to the Bush administration, Bond responded by nominating “Boondocks” cartoonist Aaron McGruder for his Image Award.”

Amazing, huh? 

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 12/07/2004 at 07:56 AM   
Filed Under: • Democrats-Liberals-Moonbat Leftists •  
• Comments (5) • Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

Here’s A Local Story (And My Take On It)

If you are offended by stories dealing in harsh, cold reality during Chirstmas, go no further.  Otherwise, read on to get my persepctive on something that happened here yesterday.

A local resident and his family left their home to go to Busch Gardens for the day.  While gone their house burned down. They lost a hamster, a bird, 6 dogs and all their Christmas presents described thusly:

“(Ninja Turtles and Transformer action toys for Joshua, 10, and Jeremy ; Star Wars figures for son Lionel, 16, who had amassed a collection of posters, books, CDs and more on the subject, his stash now ash; Lord of the Rings collectibles for Rachel, who found her trove of some 100 figures)”

Pretty tragic, huh?

You’d think so, too, if you missed part of the secondary headlines which said they had no insurance. 

People are now being asked to contribute to help them.

Why?  To further foster this sort of lifestyle where an individual does not take responsibility for his own actions (or lack thereof?) So others can do this, too?

Call me a cold heartless bastard and I will wear the badge proudly but on this I will not have my mind changed. 

These people had money to buy tickets for SEVEN to Busch Gardens (about $40 each not including parking and food or souvenirs.) They had money to feed SEVEN dogs (one lived), they had money to accumulate all those frivolous toys for their kids.

But for some reason had no money to buy renters’ insurance which, if memory serves me right, would have cost them maybe $200 a year or less (after all, they don’t have to insure the house as it was not yet theirs; just the belongings.)

This is the sort of shit that pisses me off about so many people in the US.  They fail to take responsibility for themselves and then expect others to bail their asses out of a jam.  These are the sort of people that refuse to get health insurance when offered to them because it is too expensive but they can afford season passes to football games.  They are also the first to whine about their helath costs when tragedy befalls them and demand the “government” do something to help them.

Hell, had they been young I’d sing a different tune because they’d have the excuse of being “young” and inexperienced.  But with kids between the ages of 7 and 19, you’re no spring chicken anymore, pal.

Sorry, no mercy, no quarter from The Benevolent Dictator on this one.

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 12/07/2004 at 07:23 AM   
Filed Under: • Miscellaneous •  
• Comments (7) • Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

Shameless Plug Time

I voted.

Did you vote?

Every day our percentages climb a little higher.  For that we thank you.

Please go vote for us.  I know, it may mean nothing in the grand scheme of things but it makes us feel better and in this world of everyone wanting to feel good, don’t you want to do your part?

Then again, you COULD tell us to go perform unnatural sexual acts upon ourselves and do nothing.

It’s your choice.

We’ve got our Guard Bat out watching, though.

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 12/07/2004 at 07:18 AM   
Filed Under: • Miscellaneous •  
• Comments (2) • Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

Is It Over?

Can it be?  The election certification in Ohio is over. You’ll never guess who won.

Go ahead.  Guess.

I’ll wait.

........hmmmmm..........

OK, I’ll tell you.  Bush.

But hell, that’s not enough for the left who keeps insisting he stole the election, that people were disenfranchised.  Hell, they’ll probably try to blame him for the long lines and lack of machines at some precincts.

The leftist bastards plan to file their petitions today.

On the subject of recounts and the left, I guess they are not happy in Washington.  Those poor assholes are on the third count now.

By hand.

Every vote.

Visions (and nightmares) of Florida, hanging chads, voter intent and all that happy horseshit are dancing in my head.

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 12/07/2004 at 07:16 AM   
Filed Under: • Democrats-Liberals-Moonbat Leftists • Politics •  
• Comments (3) • Trackbacks(1)  Permalink •  

A Nation of Fatties.  WHY?

Studies are now showing that people who sleep less than what’s considered to be “normal” have a greater tendency to be fat.

The scientists go on to say that those who do not sleep as much have some sort of hormone imbalance which causes them to want to eat more.  They even say that kids watching TV cause them to become fatter because they should be asleep. 

My take?  Fuck that “hormone” shit.  It’s common sense that the more you are awake the more opportunities you’ll have to stuff your face.  Hormones, schmormones.  Your eyes are open, you have nothing to do, you see food and you eat it.

Why the hell do we need million dollar studies to show this “correlation of hormones to weight gain” and then will end up spinning it as some sort of crap that will have people demanding more drugs to help them with this now new “disability” thereby raising health care costs and drug costs? 

How about taking away these people’s sacks of potato chips, cheese curls, hostess cupcakes, ding-dongs and pizza while they watch TV or stay awake?  DOOOOH! 

Bah! Humbug! on these assclown scientists wasting my money.

In related news, these fat bastards are taking cruises and breaking deck chairs.  You know, I watch people because I think it is interesting.  What I see are people who are a bunch of slobs that have no concept of grace and style.  Instead of sitting on a chair they “plop” down into it.  Then they decide they need to rock their fat asses on two legs.  Or they try and turn the chairs while their lard asses are in them rather than getting up, turning the chair and sitting back down again.  It’s ridiculous.

What the fuck is happening to us?  Are we turning into a planet of Jabba-The-Huts?

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 12/07/2004 at 07:06 AM   
Filed Under: • Miscellaneous •  
• Comments (5) • Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

A Jewish Perspective

Twas the night before Christmas, and we, being Jews,
My girlfriend and me—we had nothing to do.
The Gentiles were home, hanging stocking with care,
Secure in their knowledge St. Nick would be there.
But for us, once the Hanukkah candles burned down,
There was nothing but boredom all over town.
The malls and the theaters were all closed up tight;
There weren’t any concerts to got to that night.
A dance would have saved us, some ballroom or swing,
But we searched through the papers; there wasn’t a thing.
Outside the window sat two feet of snow;
With the wind-chill, they said it was fifteen below.
And while all I could do was sit there and brood,
My girl saved the night and called out “CHINESE FOOD!”
So we ran to the closet, grabbed hats, mitts and boots --
To cover out heads, our hands, and our foots.
We pulled on our jackets, all puffy with down.
And boarded “The T,” bound for old Chinatown.
The train nearly empty, it rolled through the stops,

While visions of wontons danced through our kopfs.
We hopped off a Park Street; the Common was bright
With fresh-fallen snow and the trees strung with lights,
Then crept through “The Zone” with its bums and its thugs,
And entrepreneurs selling ladies and drugs.
At last we reached Chinatown, rushed through the gate,
Past bakeries, markets, shops and cafes,
In search of a restaurant: “Which one?  Lets decide!”
We chose “Hunan Chozer,” and ventured inside.
Around us sat others, their platters piled high
With the finest of foods their money could buy:
There was roast duck and fried squid, (sweet, sour and spiced,)
Dried beef and mixed veggies, lo mein and fried rice,
Whole fish and moo shi and shrimp chow mee foon,
And General Gaus chicken and ma po tofu....
When at last we decided, and the waiter did call,
We said: “Skip the menu!” and ordered it all.
And when in due time the food was all made,
It came to the table in a sort of parade.
Before us sat dim sum, spare ribs and egg rolls,
And four different soups, in four great, huge bowls.
The courses kept coming, from spicy to mild,
And higher and higher toward the ceiling were piled.
And while this went on, we became aware
Every diner around us had started to stare.
Their jaws hanging open, they looked on unblinking;
Some dropped their teacups, some drooled without thinking.
So much piled up, one dish after the other,
My girlfriend and I couldn’t see one another!
Now we sat there, we two, without proper utensils,
While they handed us something that looked like two pencils.
We poked and we jabbed till our fingers were sore
And half of our dinner wound up on the floor.
We tried—how we tried!—but, sad truth to tell,
Ten long minutes later and still hungry as well,
We swallowed our pride, feeling vaguely like dorks,
And called to our waiter to bring us two forks.
We fressed and we feasted, we slurped and we munched.
We noshed and we supped, we breakfastd and lunched.
We ate till we couldn’t and drank down our teas
And barely had room for our fortune cookies.
But my fortune was perfect; it summed up the mood
When it said: “Pork is kosher, when its in Chinese food.”
And my girlfriend—well ... she got a real winner;
Hers said: “Your companion will pay for the dinner.”
Our bellies were full and at last it was time
To travel back home and write some bad rhyme
Of our Chinatown trek (and to privately speak
About trying to refine our chopstick technique).
The MSG spun round and round in our heads,
As we tripped and we laughed and gaily we said,
As we carried our leftovers home through the night;

“Good Yom Tov to all—and to all a Good Night!

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 12/07/2004 at 07:04 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
• Comments (0) • Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

Cheesy Lines?

I’ll admit.  I watch movies for sheer entertainment so I do not worry if I do not remember much of the dialogue.  If it works OK while I watch it, as soon as its over I generally forget the whole thing.

But others are not the same. Here are what they think are the 10 cheesiest lines from movies.

Anyone have any more?

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 12/07/2004 at 07:03 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
• Comments (0) • Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

Odd Bits

Careful where you ask for a ride. You may end of digging a grave.

Political correctness invades Italy.  You think we’re the only ones who have to take Jesus out of Christmas?  This one will piss you off. The teacher should have painful things done to her.

Not sure why the Chinese are concerned.  After all, I believe they are still killing off children and banning parents from having more than 2.  So this should be considered a boon to population control.

They are here.  Among us.  You can’t see them.  But they are out there.

Oh-oh!  Looks like the Rastafarian dreadlocked look will be de rigueur (YIKES! I used French words) if this study gets any traction.

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 12/07/2004 at 06:36 AM   
Filed Under: • Miscellaneous •  
• Comments (0) • Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

DISCLAIMER

THE SERVICES AND MATERIALS ON THIS WEBSITE ARE PROVIDED "AS IS" AND THE HOSTS OF THIS SITE EXPRESSLY DISCLAIMS ANY AND ALL WARRANTIES, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, TO THE EXTENT PERMITTED BY LAW INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO WARRANTIES OF SATISFACTORY QUALITY, MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE, WITH RESPECT TO THE SERVICE OR ANY MATERIALS.

Not that very many people ever read this far down, but this blog was the creation of Allan Kelly and his friend Vilmar. Vilmar moved on to his own blog some time ago, and Allan ran this place alone until his sudden and unexpected death partway through 2006. We all miss him. A lot. Even though he is gone this site will always still be more than a little bit his. We who are left to carry on the BMEWS tradition owe him a great debt of gratitude, and we hope to be able to pay that back by following his last advice to us all:

1. Keep a firm grasp of Right and Wrong
2. Stay involved with government on every level and don't let those bastards get away with a thing
3. Use every legal means to defend yourself in the event of real internal trouble, and, most importantly:
4. Keep talking to each other, whether here or elsewhere

It's been a long strange trip without you Skipper, but thanks for pointing us in the right direction and giving us a swift kick in the behind to get us going. Keep lookin' down on us, will ya? Thanks.

THE INFORMATION AND OTHER CONTENTS OF THIS WEBSITE ARE DESIGNED TO COMPLY WITH THE LAWS OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. THIS WEBSITE SHALL BE GOVERNED BY AND CONSTRUED IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE LAWS OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA AND ALL PARTIES IRREVOCABLY SUBMIT TO THE JURISDICTION OF THE AMERICAN COURTS. IF ANYTHING ON THIS WEBSITE IS CONSTRUED AS BEING CONTRARY TO THE LAWS APPLICABLE IN ANY OTHER COUNTRY, THEN THIS WEBSITE IS NOT INTENDED TO BE ACCESSED BY PERSONS FROM THAT COUNTRY AND ANY PERSONS WHO ARE SUBJECT TO SUCH LAWS SHALL NOT BE ENTITLED TO USE OUR SERVICES UNLESS THEY CAN SATISFY US THAT SUCH USE WOULD BE LAWFUL.

Copyright © 2004-2015 Domain Owner