Sunday - December 19, 2004

From The “DOH!!!” Department

Well, if this don’t beat all.  The naturist community in England is up in arms (I was going to say they had their panties in a wad but considering this crowd that just wouldn’t be appropriate, would it?) because a young girl is suggesting that not everyone who becomes a “naturist” is pure at heart.  She suggests they are in it for sex.

NO!!!!  You don’t say!!!  Well, knock me down with a feather.

From the mouths of babes, even.

Stunning revelations include:

“Any single man can take his clothes off and profess to be naturist. We cope with it the best we can.”

‘films advertised in naturist magazines ...often feature children...on trampolines and in pools.”

“extreme nudist”, one of a growing band of men and women who promote male circumcision and the shaving of all body hair.”

“a 27-year-old car mechanic, describes regularly breaking the cardinal rule of British naturism and allowing himself to become visibly excited. ”

And the press is surprised to learn this?

Who are the morons in THIS scenario, I wonder?

P.S. I live about 10 miles from a naturist community here in Florida and when I worked for a pest control company the technicians had to service the homes there.  Yes, it is a gated community of houses and apartments, club houses, pools, tennis courts, the works.  Everyone walks around with little towels to sit on (for obvious reasons.)

In defense of one of these English guys who said he had been:

“a naturist for 25 years and says “nakedness is not sexy” when everyone is nude.”

I would have to agree.  Some techs refused to go in there.  Sometimes it was for religious reasons.  Others said what many of us already know---most of the people in there are either old, fat, or just plain not easy to look at.

I report, you decide.

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 12/19/2004 at 07:47 AM   
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Hand Art (Part 2)

As promised, more hand art.  Pretty clever, this.

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 12/19/2004 at 07:42 AM   
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Bah Humbug Christmas

T’was the night before Christmas - Old Santa was pissed
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list
Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks
I have a good mind to scrap the whole works

I’ve busted my ass for damn near a year
Instead of “Thanks Santa” - what do I hear
The old lady bitches cause I work late at night
The elves want more money - The reindeer all fight

Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS
And just when I thought that things would get better
Those assholes from IRS sent me a letter

They say I owe taxes - if that ain’t damn funny
Who the hell ever sent Santa Clause any money
And the kids these days - they all are the pits
They want the impossible ...Those mean little shits

I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads
I made a ton of yo yo’s - No request for them
They want computers and robots...they think I’m IBM!

If you think that’s bad...just picture this
Try holding those brats...with their pants full of piss
They pull on my nose - they grab at my beard
And if I don’t smile..the parents think I’m weird

Flying through the air...dodging the trees
Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees
I’m quitting this job...there’s just no enjoyment
I’ll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment

There’s no Christmas this year...now you know the reason
I found me a blonde.. I’m going SOUTH for the season!!

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 12/19/2004 at 07:35 AM   
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Life With Steel (Part 1)

Thanks to Steel, we have for you three stories for your reading pleasure.  The first one takes place in Vietnam; the second on a fishing boat; the third in a mine.  They are all somewhat related in that they involve a lifestyle centered on explosions and things that go “boom”.  Read them and you’ll see what I mean.

Here’s the first.  The others will follow shortly.

When I was in Vietnam there was a serious war going on.

Not the wind down and leave war of Nixon. Nope, there were actually people who had every intent on winning. I mean we were there to WIN the war.

I got there in late ‘67. A few months shy of Tet . THE Tet.  March of ‘68.

Now Tet killed so many people that it’s impossible to say how many. Thousands and thousands. Tens of thousands.

I had to take a skiff, (very small boat) across the Hue harbor shortly after Tet. Bumping from one carcass to the next. Thump. ... thump between the the bodies floating.

Now most folks don’t realize that most folks in ‘Nam were ‘stoners.’ It’s true. I saw classified documents to attest to the fact that perhaps 85% of ALL in-country were stoned.

It’d been a week or so and the ‘bodies’ were pretty much degraded to the point of damned near skeletal. Just floating along and smelling real bad.

We thumped one carcass and the head came off. The guy I was with reached down and scooped the skull up and ...saved it.

It had a big hole in the top. We left it to dry for a while.

After it dried up, in a stoned stupor, we decided that it was a fine receptacle for our stash. Filled his head with dope. Carried him around where ever we went. Stuffed with pot.

We called him ‘Charlie.’

We included him our conversations.

Some guy’s old lady sent him a ‘Dear John’ letter and we’d ask Charlie what he thought of that.

He was a man of few words. He’d just shrug and cough up some more dope.

Joe got blowed up. Charlie shrugged and we got high.  We landed on the moon. Charlie was non-plussed.

Charlie never had a bad word to say. He was ... stoic.

But he was a wise ... head. He taught me a lesson. A life lesson.

No matter how hard life treats you, no matter how awful things get, if you just keep your head ... you’ll do just fine.

Posted by The Skipper     on 12/19/2004 at 07:34 AM   
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More on The ACLU

Check out Confederate Yankee’s rant on the ACLU and Liberals.

When you are done, go to Michael King’s site, Ramblings Journal to read what he has to say about them.

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 12/19/2004 at 07:30 AM   
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   Saturday - December 18, 2004

Hand Art

This is pretty cool stuff.  Amazing what people can do with their hands.

I apologize to whoever sent me these as I do not remember your name.  But if you did, email me and I will credit you as the source (not the artist.)

I’ll post more tomorrow.

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 12/18/2004 at 07:48 AM   
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Bizarre News

How can you NOT read a headline called “Don’t read this one?”

I did.  I don’t feel so hungry right now.

Redefining “Face-Off”

Poor kid.

Voodoo bug you?  It does these cops, too!

Guess they don’t want you to do that voodoo that you do so well.

I’ve heard nothing but good things about Curitiba and the next time I go to Brazil I will probably rent an apartment there for a month.

But if you want to live in style (and cheaply) while having the world spin around YOU, then buy one of these apartments.

Anyone live in New Mexico?  Check for rats before you start your car or the experience can be a lot more than “warming.”

We all know it’s wonderful to fall asleep in the warm embrace of another.  But to fall asleep and find yourself being mechanically embraced by a trash compactor (and living through the experience) would be a life altering event.

Wanna bet he was blind drunk?  How else can you not know or feel you were being thumped around?

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 12/18/2004 at 07:20 AM   
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What is Redemption?

I found this several days ago, read it, liked it and set it aside. 

Go ahead.  I think you’ll enjoy its message.

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 12/18/2004 at 06:53 AM   
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Your Turn

Go on.  Give us your comments and thoughts on one or all of these:

---an Ill-Annoy (there we go again with Ill-annoy in the news) bus driver was fired for protesting against her son having to sing anti-Christ songs in the school holiday program.

Right or wrong?

---Donald Rumsfeld’s been in the news with the press virtually orgasming and then, in sheer happiness, licking the balls of Republican senators and congressmen who want him to be fired or want him to step down.

Could it be, as Robert Novak somewhat surreptitiously points out, that these senators are acting like spoiled children because Rummy won’t pay them any attention?

Do you agree?  Should he quit or be fired?

---What about that pregnant woman who was killed and her baby cut from her womb by another woman?  Will that murderer ever see the chair (or injection or rope or gas?)

What would you do to the perpetrators.  Be clear.  Be concise.  Be honest.  (hey, brutal, too, would work!)

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 12/18/2004 at 06:32 AM   
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Two Heroes

In New Jersey we have a mayor fighting the establishment--the politically correct educational board. 

He is asking people of all faiths and his rivals, too, to sing Christmas songs banned from a high school program because of the songs’ religious nature.

He calls them the “Grinches” of the South Orange/Maplewood Board of Education and he wants to:

send the(m) and others who will deny our religious heritage a message that we’re not going to let them take God out of our public life.  We won’t let the Grinches destroy Christmas. It’s time to draw a line in the sand.”

Remember a guy named Goetz from 20 years ago? Yep!  That one!  The one who got on a subway and waxed three hoodlums and paralyzed another.

This article is about whether or not something like that could happen again.  The bureaucrats are all saying no.  They point to the crime numbers having gone down, the murder rate having gone down, the increased ridership, etc.

What they fail to acknowledge is the role Bernie had to play in all this.  As far as I am concerned he was instrumental in restoring people’s faith in the subway because, due to his actions, city government was forced to do something plus criminals were put on notice they’d get their clocks cleaned.

Of course, the press will never concede that point.  In one of the most blatant displays of shitty journalism fraught with political correctness and attempting to make a liberal point, they describe Goetz’s actions thusly:

Goetz pulled his illegal weapon just north of the World Trade Center and began shooting.

Did you catch those two points?  “ILLEGAL weapon” and “World Trade Center?” Who gives a fuck that it was near the WTC?  No one did in 1984!!  Stupid fucking media. You know how I feel about the “illegal weapon” point.

What they do make a blatant issue of, however, is the status of the life of one of the scumbags our hero shot.  He:

remains in a wheelchair — “in a perpetual state of being an 8-year-old

You know what?  In a wheelchair that piece of shit will never accost anyone else!  Fuck him!  Too bad.  I’ll bet he’s learned that life’s decisions have consequwnces.  No word from the other three though. They are still rotting in their caskets.

Bernie’s my hero.

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 12/18/2004 at 06:27 AM   
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Wait Until Americans Get Wind Of This

How long will it be before some scumbag lawyer reads this and because of our tendency to blame everything that afflicts us on someone or something else, will decide the fuyrniture industry or the carpeting industry is ripe for lawsuits?

As for the people in this story, have they never heard of a return/refund policy?  Forons!

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 12/18/2004 at 06:23 AM   
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Support Our Troops

With the Christmas and holiday season right on top of us I thought I’d share this great story from Iraq with you.

Our troops have a thankless job to do in Iraq and Afghanistan.  This is a horrible time to be away from family and loved ones, too.  Maybe you would like to show these men and women how much you care and how much you appreciate their sacrifice but did not know where to donate or who to contact.

Well, the article above has a link that solves that problem for you but if you’ve read it and forgot to click on that internal link, here it is again for you.

Merry Christmas!  (wow!  Can I say that now?  Please don’t tell the ACLU!!!)

(Thanks to Craig for the link!)

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 12/18/2004 at 05:59 AM   
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   Friday - December 17, 2004

You Know What’s Great?

Here it is 43 days afterwards and I still get a big shit-eating grin on my face just thinking about how John F’ing Kerry, The Poodle, lost the election.

LOSER!!!!

Life is good.

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 12/17/2004 at 05:28 PM   
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Elvis In The House?

Maybe.

But he won’t own most of the land it is on.  Lisa Marie is selling it. And her father’s name and image.

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 12/17/2004 at 07:27 AM   
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Not that very many people ever read this far down, but this blog was the creation of Allan Kelly and his friend Vilmar. Vilmar moved on to his own blog some time ago, and Allan ran this place alone until his sudden and unexpected death partway through 2006. We all miss him. A lot. Even though he is gone this site will always still be more than a little bit his. We who are left to carry on the BMEWS tradition owe him a great debt of gratitude, and we hope to be able to pay that back by following his last advice to us all:

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It's been a long strange trip without you Skipper, but thanks for pointing us in the right direction and giving us a swift kick in the behind to get us going. Keep lookin' down on us, will ya? Thanks.

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