BMEWS
 
Sarah Palin's presence in the lower 48 means the Arctic ice cap can finally return.

calendar   Wednesday - December 22, 2004

Dear GEICO Santa ….

I’ve been real good all year. I’ve worked hard, spent my money wisely, tried my best to be honest and straight with everyone, worked real hard to liberate Liberals from their brainwashing, helped re-elect President Bush, lost thirty pounds like I said I would, called Michael Moore bad names, exposed John Kerry for the liar he is, fought the good fight against the ACLU, the UN, PETA and France, and did all this with a smile on my face. Now I have a very special favor to ask, Santa. As you know, my Jeep Grand Cherokee was demolished by a drunk illegal alien in an automobile wreck last week so I submit this Christmas wish to you.

All I want for Christmas is this ....

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.... and this ....

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.... and this ....

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.... and this ....

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.... oh yeah, and make sure it has one of these ....

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Thank you Santa. If you bring me all this I promise to lose thirty more pounds and will be even meaner to the evil Liberals and Leftists than I was last year. I will even give you a ride in my new “sleigh” if you want .... but you better buckle up tight.

Sincerely,

Little Allan (BMEWS SecWar)


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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 12/22/2004 at 03:44 AM   
Filed Under: • Personal •  
Comments (14) Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

Don’t Go Here

The absolute worst excuse to have a web site .... ever.


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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 12/22/2004 at 02:55 AM   
Filed Under: • Judges-Courts-Lawyers •  
Comments (11) Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

calendar   Tuesday - December 21, 2004

The Meaning Of Christmas

You all know I’ve been through some hard times this last week what with a stupid illegal alien plowing into my Jeep Grand Cherokee and totalling a $38,000 vehicle. It ain’t been easy being me lately. I’m still a little shakey and sore all over but I will survive. I’ve been through worse.

But this post isn’t about me. It’s about people who have been through much worse. My grandaddy used to have a sign on the wall in his house that said “I used to complain because I had no shoes .. until I met a man who had no feet”. That sign always intrigued me when we went to visit “gramps”. I had to get about thirty or forty more years under my belt before I finally understood it.

What’s the point, you ask? Well, there is an organization that is dedicated to helping disabled veterans returning from overseas. Here’s what they do in their own words ....

Our organization is strongly committed to helping those who have selflessly given to their country and have returned home with serious disabilities and injuries. Homes for Our Troops assists injured veterans and their immediate families by building new or adapting existing homes for handicapped accessibility for these American heroes.

What we provide is not a loan to be paid back, we feel as though we owe this to our American heroes.

Fox News just broadcast a story about these folks and the Department of Defense has recognized their efforts. I just went over there and donated $50. I challenge every other war blogger out there and any of you readers to match me on that donation. If your wallet is tight right now just remember .... one or more of these guys may not have any feet .. or arms .. or legs or ....

Click on the picture below to visit their web site .... and remember my challenge. Merry Christmas!

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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 12/21/2004 at 05:32 PM   
Filed Under: • Military •  
Comments (0) Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

How To Hypnotize A Man

For guys only!!!!

Ladies, do not click on this link (unless you are either extraordinarily curiously nosy or have an affinity for this sort of stuff (know what I mean?  Know what I mean?  Nudge! Nudge!  Wink!  Wink!)

Guys, this one is a whole lotta fun!

(thanks to Ken)


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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 12/21/2004 at 06:59 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
Comments (11) Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

Christmas in the Bayou

’Twas the night before Christmas an’ all t’ru de house,
Dey don’t a ting pass not even a mouse.
De chirren been nezzle good snug on de flo’,
An’ Mama pass de pepper t’ru de crack on de do’.

De Mama in de fireplace done roas’ up de ham,
Sit up de gumbo an’ make de bake yam.
Den out on de by-you dey got such a clatter,
Make soun’ like old Boudreau done fall off his ladder.

I run like a rabbit to got to de do’,
Trip over de dorg an’ fall on de flo’.
As I look out de do’in de light o’ de moon,
I t’ink, “Mahn, you crazy or got ol’ too soon.”

Cux dere on de by-you w’en I stretch ma’neck stiff,
Dere’s eight alligator a pullin’ de skiff.
An’ a little fat drover wit’ a long pole-ing stick,
I know r’at away got to be ole St.Nick.

Mo’ fas’er an’ fas’er de’ gator dey came
He whistle an’ holler an’ call dem by name:
“Ha, Gaston! Ha, Tiboy! Ha, Pierre an’ Alcee’!
Gee, Ninette! Gee, Suzette! Celeste an’Renee’!
To de top o’ de porch to de top o’ de wall,
Make crawl, alligator, an’ be sho’ you don’ fall.”

Like Tante Flo’s cat t’ru de treetop he fly,
W’en de big ole houn’ dorg come a run hisse’s by.
Like dat up de porch dem ole ‘gator clim!
Wit’ de skiff full o’ toy an’ St. Nicklus behin’.
Den on top de porch roof it soun’ like de hail,
W’en all dem big gator, done sot down dey tail.

Den down de chimney I yell wit’ a bam,
An’ St.Nicklus fall an’ sit on de yam.
“Sacre!” he axclaim, “Ma pant got a hole
I done sot ma’se’f on dem red hot coal.”
He got on his foots an’ jump like de cat
Out to de flo’ where he lan’ wit’ a SPLAT!

He was dress in musk-rat from his head to his foot,
An’ his clothes is all dirty wit’ ashes an’ soot.
A sack full o’ playt’ing he t’row on his back,
He look like a burglar an’ dass fo’ a fack.

His eyes how dey shine his dimple, how merry!
Maybe he been drink de wine from de blackberry.
His cheek was like a rose his nose a cherry,
On secon’ t’ought maybe he lap up de sherry.

Wit’ snow-shite chin whisker an’ quiverin’ belly,
He shook w’en he laugh like de stromberry jelly!
But a wink in his eye an’ a shook o’ his head,
Make my confi-dence dat I don’t got to be scared.
He don’ do no talkin’ gone strit to hi work,
Put a playt’ing in sock an’ den turn wit’ a jerk.

He put bot’ his han’ dere on top o’ his head,
Cas’ an eye on de chimney an’ den he done said:
“Wit’ all o’ dat fire an’ dem burnin’ hot flame,
Me I ain’ goin’ back by de way dat I came.”

So he run out de do’ an, he clim’ to de roof,
He ain’ no fool, him for to make one more goof.
He jump in his skiff an’ crack his big whip,
De’ gator move down, An don’ make one slip.

An’ I hear him shout loud as a splashin’ he go,
“Merry Christmas to all ‘til I saw you some mo’!”


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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 12/21/2004 at 06:54 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
Comments (1) Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

Even MORE Education Absurdities

Education System Absurdities

bat A professor writes a letter to the editor stating:

“that the owner of an unregistered gun was no more likely to become a murderer than a woman who had not registered her sex organ was to becoming a prostitute.”

He gets 25 people filing sexual harassment charges!!!!  The charges got dropped but he got fired.

My conclusion?  Lunacy prevails in the world of edu-crats.

bat You are a parent.  Your child has a program going on in school.  You decide to attend because the subject is homosexual-awareness and it had assemblies and workshops such as “Out at the Old Ballgame’’ and “Color Me Queer,” which were intended to make students feel good about homosexuality, bisexuality and transgenderism.

You are appalled at what you see and begin to record it.  You are accosted by the principal and threatened by him and four cops with arrest for violating the rights of other students in filming them.

The assholes who try to pass themselves off as educators say the program is not mandatory and that students can go to the library for study hall.

What they don’t explain is why they did not send parents a note about the event.  They say it was “on the calendar.”

What bullshit!  This is nothing more than an effort to brainwash kids with politically correct nonsense.  What the hell ever happened to teaching reading, writing, arithmetic, history, sciences?  Is this the kind of shit that is passed off as “learning?”

Oh, as if this isn’t bad enough, to add insult to injury, guess what Taxachusetts has its taxpayers do?

“pay about $1.5 million annually for a Gay and Lesbian Youth Commission that aggressively promotes homosexuality in public schools and helps schools create “Gay/Straight Alliances,” student clubs that press for acceptance of homosexuality.”

Of course, the ACLU is on the side of the schools.  A huge juicy lawsuit against the school might stop this nonsense.  I hope the parents pursue it.  Too bad there is not a group of Christian, morally upstanding lawyers that could form a group called “Anti-ACLU” and sue the crap out of all these twits.  (Then again, “LAWYERS” and “MORALLY UPSTANDING” might be mutually exclusive.)

bat Zero tolerance stupidity strikes again. In Oklahoma, a drug dog alerted on a girl’s locker.  It found steroids.  Prescription steroids for a condition she had and took regularly.

Now, maybe she had ill intentions with this stuff but that does not seem to be the case.

She got suspended.  The parents have asked the ACLU for help.  I suspect, though, that if the ACLU finds out they are Christians, they won’t help them out--just on general principles.  So I do not hold out much hope in that department.

“For its part the district has agreed to reduce Chloe’s suspension to 10 days if she agrees to eight hours of mandatory drug counseling and monthly urinalysis screening.”

Although it was not worded in this way in the article, I believe the parents’ response to the school was “FUCK YOU AND THE HORSE YOU RODE IN ON!”

bat More sad news on the state of our educational system.  This is pretty depressing stuff. However, he does offer an idea that might help slow down the slide.

bat If all that isn’t bad enough, we now have professors who are so duplicitously hypocritical that it makes your had spin.

Here are the first two paragraphs from the article.  If they don’t make you want to read the rest (especially if you have kids in school) then I will go out on a limb and say you are making a BIG mistake.

These barking moonbat Islamic sympathizers are everywhere and what goes on in Muslim/Palestinian schools is happening right here.

“When White House officials briefly used the word “crusade” to express American resolve in the war on terror, Yvonne Yazbeck Haddad, professor of the history of Islam and Christian-Muslim Relations at Georgetown University scolded them. “It’s what the terrorists use to recruit people—saying that Christians are on a crusade against Islam. It’s as bad to their ears as it is when we hear “jihad.”

But when the media recently reported American Muslim football teams using such names as “Mujahideen,” “Intifada” and “Soldiers of Allah,” Haddad rushed to defend the team titles, saying, “Who cares? Why are people so sensitive?  Intifada is something that Muslims and Palestinians all approve of. It means ‘just get off my back.’ Is the only way we accept [Muslims] is if we devalue their faith?”

Go ahead, go read the rest.


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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 12/21/2004 at 06:51 AM   
Filed Under: • Education •  
Comments (4) Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

Stuff You Won’t Read About Anywhere Else

BMEWS is proud to present you a link to stories you probably would never have read about were it not for this article.

Things like runaway trains…
Truly stupid parents…
Hunting down love…
Dog food masquerading as fois gras....
Eating your employer’s dog....
Snoring dogs keeping neighbors awake....
Women who breastfeed dogs…
Pleasuring pigs on TV.....

You get the picture.

Enjoy!


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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 12/21/2004 at 06:46 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
Comments (0) Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

Equal Opportunity?

Wish I had known about this when I was in school. But we did not have a gymnastics team at all.

I hope the boy wins.  After all, girls sue to get on boys’ teams, why not the other way around? 


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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 12/21/2004 at 06:10 AM   
Filed Under: • Education •  
Comments (0) Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

Better Male Longevity?

Attention Men!  Want to Live longer?

Maybe all you need in your diet is some polymeal.

Polymeal?  OK, here’s what it basically is: 

“(a) daily “dosage” is 150 milliliters of wine, 100 grams of dark (nondairy) chocolate, 400 g. of fruits and vegetables, 2.7 g. of fresh or frozen garlic, 68 g. of almonds and 114 g. of fish four times a week.”

That’s close to 3.5 ounces of chocolate (per day); almost a POUND of fruits and vegetables (per day) 2.5 oz. of almonds (per day) and 4 oz of fish 4 times a week.


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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 12/21/2004 at 06:09 AM   
Filed Under: • Miscellaneous •  
Comments (2) Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

A Face Lift For Dems?

Lately I’ve been hearing a lot about how Democrats are publicly saying their party needs to address abortion as an issue and that maybe they should be more restrictive in allowing abortions.  Of course, mainstream and extremist Dummycraps are livid.  Hell, even John F***ing Kerry, former presidential candidate (LOSER!!) and, if you did not already know it, who served in Vietnam, says the Dems have to lighten up.

Good gracious, Miss Molly but even Nancy Pelosi is supporting an anti-abortion democrat for head of the DNC.

You may be asking yourself, “Self, what the fuck are these assholes up to?  I don’t trust them as far as I can throw them and here they are trying to make nice with people like me.”

That’d be a very good question to ask and one to keep in mind for when you read the following paragraph.

Take a look at what the Hildebeast has been doing lately.  Defending the military.  Coming out against such a liberal position on abortion, speaking out in favor of more gun rights.

Yep!  There’s definitely something going on.

Could it be the party is trying to position itself to take seats away from the Republicans?  Yep!  Could the Hildebeat be trying to set herself up as a moderate in a run for President?

YOU BET YOUR FUCKING LIFE SHE IS!!


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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 12/21/2004 at 05:52 AM   
Filed Under: • Democrats-Liberals-Moonbat LeftistsPolitics •  
Comments (2) Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

Enhancement Drugs ?

image
Steve Kelley, The New Orleans Times-Picayune


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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 12/21/2004 at 04:54 AM   
Filed Under: • Miscellaneous •  
Comments (1) Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

calendar   Monday - December 20, 2004

What Can Brown Do For You?

Well, for starters they can deliver packages that their freakin’ drivers might need ....

The Monadnock Region’s first real snowstorm of the year send several vehicles sliding off roads and caused a handful of crashes, but few injuries were reported this morning.

In a odd twist, a United Parcel Service driver was on his way to deliver parts to Cheshire Medical Center in Keene when his van was in a serious crash involving two tractor-trailer trucks on Route 9 at Chesterfield Hill, police said.

The driver’s name and severity of his injuries were unavailable this morning.

The driver was taken to Cheshire Medical Center by ambulance with a head injury, but the hospital couldn’t do some of the tests he needed because one of its machines was down, police said.

And the parts to fix that machine were in the man’s wrecked truck on Route 9.

Instead of sending the driver to Dartmouth-Hitchcock Medical Center in Lebanon, someone was sent to get the parts out of the truck, they were installed, and the machine was put to work, police said.

When it absolutely, positively has to be .... never mind.

bat


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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 12/20/2004 at 10:54 PM   
Filed Under: • Miscellaneous •  
Comments (1) Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

From The Halls Of Montezuma ….

Another hero the media overlooked ....

On the morning of Nov. 15, 2004, the men of 1st Battalion, 3rd Marines awoke before sunrise and continued what they had been doing for seven days previously—cleansing the city of Fallujah of terrorists house by house.

At the fourth house they encountered that morning, the Marines kicked in the door and “cleared” the front rooms, but then noticed a locked door off to the side that required inspection. Peralta threw open the closed door, but behind it were three terrorists with AK-47s. Peralta was hit in the head and chest with multiple shots at close range.

Peralta’s fellow Marines had to step over his body to continue the shootout with the terrorists. As the firefight raged on, a “yellow, foreign-made, oval-shaped grenade,” as Lance Cpl. Travis Kaemmerer described it, rolled into the room where they were all standing and came to a stop near Peralta’s body.

But Sgt. Rafael Peralta wasn’t dead—yet. This young immigrant of 25 years, who enlisted in the Marines when he received his green card, who volunteered for the front line duty in Fallujah, had one last act of heroism in him.

As Peralta lay near death on the floor of a Fallujah terrorist hideout, he spotted the yellow grenade that had rolled next to his near-lifeless body. Once detonated, it would take out the rest of Peralta’s squad. To save his fellow Marines, Peralta reached out, grabbed the grenade and tucked it under his abdomen, where it exploded.

“Most of the Marines in the house were in the immediate area of the grenade,” Kaemmerer said. “We will never forget the second chance at life that Sgt. Peralta gave us.”

Semper Fi!

(-- thanks to Needtawrite for bringing this to my attention)


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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 12/20/2004 at 04:12 PM   
Filed Under: • Military •  
Comments (1) Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

Reverse Shotgun?

Read this one. 

Those Portagees really crack me up!!!


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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 12/20/2004 at 03:57 PM   
Filed Under: • Outrageous •  
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DISCLAIMER
Allanspacer

THE SERVICES AND MATERIALS ON THIS WEBSITE ARE PROVIDED "AS IS" AND THE HOSTS OF THIS SITE EXPRESSLY DISCLAIMS ANY AND ALL WARRANTIES, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, TO THE EXTENT PERMITTED BY LAW INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO WARRANTIES OF SATISFACTORY QUALITY, MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE, WITH RESPECT TO THE SERVICE OR ANY MATERIALS.

Not that very many people ever read this far down, but this blog was the creation of Allan Kelly and his friend Vilmar. Vilmar moved on to his own blog some time ago, and Allan ran this place alone until his sudden and unexpected death partway through 2006. We all miss him. A lot. Even though he is gone this site will always still be more than a little bit his. We who are left to carry on the BMEWS tradition owe him a great debt of gratitude, and we hope to be able to pay that back by following his last advice to us all:
  1. Keep a firm grasp of Right and Wrong
  2. Stay involved with government on every level and don't let those bastards get away with a thing
  3. Use every legal means to defend yourself in the event of real internal trouble, and, most importantly:
  4. Keep talking to each other, whether here or elsewhere
It's been a long strange trip without you Skipper, but thanks for pointing us in the right direction and giving us a swift kick in the behind to get us going. Keep lookin' down on us, will ya? Thanks.

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Oh, and here's some kind of visitor flag counter thingy. Hey, all the cool blogs have one, so I should too. The Visitors Online thingy up at the top doesn't count anything, but it looks neat. It had better, since I paid actual money for it.
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