Tuesday - September 27, 2005
Only In America
This story will not help stop the flow of illegal immigrants into this country one bit. Come to America, buy a lottery ticket, get rich! At least this fellow came in the right way. Congratulations, Moses. Spend it wisely ....
Man Takes Citizenship Oath, Wins Lottery
DES MOINES, Iowa (AP)
A man who immigrated from Kenya to the United States found prosperity beyond his expectations on the day he became a U.S. citizen. Shortly after Moses Bittok, of West Des Moines, took the oath of citizenship on Friday, he discovered he had a $1.89 million winning ticket from the Iowa Lottery’s Hot Lotto game.
“It’s almost like you adopted a country and then they netted you $1.8 million,” Bittok said Monday as he cashed in his ticket. “It doesn’t happen anywhere—I guess only in America.” Bittok said he took the citizenship oath at the federal building in Des Moines Friday then went shopping with his family. They stopped at a gas station to check his lottery ticket from the Sept. 21 drawing.
“For some reason, I’m calm,” he said. His wife, Leonida, screamed. Bittok, 40, an officer at the Iowa Correctional Institute for Women in Mitchellville, said he doesn’t know exactly what he will do with his winnings, but a college fund for the couples 4-year-old daughter, Mindy, is top priority. Bittok chose to receive his winnings in 25 annual payments of about $52,920 after taxes.
He came to the U.S. to attend college in Minnesota, then moved to Iowa to take the job at the women’s prison. He had purchased the winning ticket at a West Des Moines grocery store, where he once worked part time. Hot Lotto tickets are sold in Iowa, Minnesota, Montana, New Hampshire, South Dakota and West Virginia.
Posted by The Skipper
on 09/27/2005 at 05:53 AM
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Permalink • Sunday - September 25, 2005
Very Bad News Indeed
Women bypass sex in favour of ‘instant pregnancies’
Wealthy career women in their 30s and early 40s, some of whom have given up regular sex altogether, are turning to “medicalised conception” - despite being fertile and long before they have exhausted the possibility of a natural conception.
Michael Dooley, a gynaecologist, obstetrician and fertility expert, said that in the past five years he has seen a 20 per cent increase in the number of patients seeking “inappropriate or premature” IVF treatment.
“Many of these couples are simply not having sex or not having enough sex,” he said. “Conception has become medicalised. It’s too clinical. There has been a trend away from having sex and loving relationships towards medicalised conception.”
Inapproprate is right! What in the world are we coming to when there is no time for sex, but you still want to have kids? Sheesh. Don’t they know kids take a little time too????
Posted by Drew458
on 09/25/2005 at 04:40 AM
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Permalink • Tuesday - September 20, 2005
Dip with the Monkey
What will those crazy Asians think of next?
Bathing with the Apes
It’ a 20-minute walk through forest to reach the 130-year-old ryokan, the Korakukan, which is famed as the place where you can share your idyllic hot spring dip with Japan’s snow monkeys. Jigokudani (Hell Valley) Onsen in Nagano Prefecture is probably the only place in the world where you can bathe in a mixed-sex rotenburo with these primates that are an endangered species.
Visit during the colder months, and stroll through the snow-draped pine forest down to the ryokan, which overlooks the River Yokoyu. Gurgling, steam-belching fumaroles dot the landscape-long ago compared with the Buddhist concept of hell-making you feel like you are entering the world of an ukiyo-e winter scene. The morning, around 7:30, when the monkeys come down from the mountains to warm up in the hot spring, is the best time to enjoy your dip here.
“Of course, they also hope that the tourists will feed them too, but you’re not advised to give them anything as it encourages them to attack humans,” explained Aki Okubo, who had come all the way from Aomori Prefecture to enjoy bathing with the macaque monkeys. “I don’t think they have any problems with the monkeys here,” he continued, “but I do know that other places around Japan, such as in Izu, have had problems with wild monkeys attacking people. For some reason, in Izu the monkeys particularly like attacking women. I guess that’s because they have seen them carrying shopping bags and know there is food inside.”
Posted by Drew458
on 09/20/2005 at 01:47 PM
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Permalink • Wednesday - September 07, 2005
Busses?
Here, ladies and gentlefolks, is the latest satellite photo of those idle busses in New Orleans. Apparently, they have been possessed and re-arranged themselves to give us a message.
Posted by Drew458
on 09/07/2005 at 05:24 AM
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Permalink • Tuesday - September 06, 2005
Want Some Beads?
Princess Cameron’s adult site is donating 100% of all new membership $$$ to Hurricance Katrina relief for the next seventy-two hours. Spank the monkey (or kill a kitten) and help a refugee. This is what makes America great!
Posted by Ronald Reagan's Ghost
on 09/06/2005 at 09:45 PM
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Permalink • Tuesday - August 30, 2005
Twilight Zone
Occasionally stories come out of the Third World that leave me speechless ....
Billy Goat Gives Milk
(ANANOVA)—A male goat that reportedly gives milk has become a popular attraction in Brazil. The goat’s owner Luciano Gomes, from Melancias, is touring the country to show it off.
He told Terra Noticias Populares: “When I bought it, it already had two small teats and when I fondled them lots of milk came out.
“It is the only billy goat in the world capable of giving milk, I wouldn’t sell it for all the money in the world.”
Vet Flaviano Moreira commented: “It is totally abnormal for a goat to give milk, I wouldn’t go near it!”
OK, I’ll shut up now.
Posted by The Skipper
on 08/30/2005 at 05:52 AM
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Permalink • Saturday - August 27, 2005
Weirdest Headline Of The Week
Question: when you go to look at new cars, do they let you test drive them by yourself?
Answer: No, ‘cause they’re afraid you might not come back.
As one prosthetics company in Iowa recently found out, the same rules should apply to artifical legs ....
Man Fitted For $17,000 Leg Runs Off Without Footing Bill
(DES MOINES REGISTER)—The suspect fled on foot - an artificial foot.
Police say a customer who tested a specially designed prosthetic leg at a Des Moines supplier walked away without paying the $17,000 bill. Spectrum Prosthetics and Orthotics, 1900 Ingersoll Ave., reported the theft this week. Sgt. David Murillo said the man came in on Aug. 19 to be fitted for the leg, which included some special features.
He “was allowed to take it for a couple hours to ensure that the fit was proper,” a police report said. But, Murillo said, the man just kept walking.
“We’d been working with him for about a week,” said Todd Schweizer, one of the owners of the company. “We were trying to meet his needs.”
Detective Robert Lewis said store officials have a cellular telephone number left by the man, but no one answers. Lewis attributed the five-day delay in reporting the crime to employees’ belief that the man would return. As days went by, that appeared less likely, Lewis said. The detective checked out an address listed for the customer, but no one answered the door Thursday.
Posted by The Skipper
on 08/27/2005 at 02:22 PM
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Permalink • Wednesday - August 24, 2005
OldCatWoman?
Memo To OldCatMan: C’mon, dude .. confess! Is this your ex-wife or one of your neighbors perhaps? Inquiring minds want to know ....
From the HempFest web site: Seattle Hempfest advocates the decriminalization of marijuana for responsible adults, legal access to medical marijuana for patients who could be benefited by cannabis, and legal domestic hemp production. By producing a king size, world class event, Hempfest is demonstrating that cannabis enthusiasts are as responsible, professional, and successful as anyone else. Hempfest features extensive educational and informational content presented by some of the nation’s leading experts in the field of marijuana policy reform. We hope that all of this is contributing to the healthy, informed and energized local and national movement to change America’s pot laws.
Hempfest is first and foremost a political protest rally seeking to change America’s pot laws and to educate the public on the many uses of the cannabis plant. But it is also the largest collection of free Pacific Northwest (and beyond) music, as well as one of the largest street fairs in the world centering around cannabis. We like to call Hempfest a “protestival”, and think that we have created a new concept in political protest. Hempfest allows artists, speakers and even vendors to make a statement for pot reform by their involvement in our event.
Posted by The Skipper
on 08/24/2005 at 10:43 AM
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Permalink • Winning Big
The good news: A Canadian couple won the lottery (C$7.5 million). The really good news: they’re both 89 years old. The really, really good news: all they want to do with the money is buy a new pair of nylons for her and a new car for him ....
TORONTO (Reuters) - An 89-year-old couple who won a C$7.5 million lottery jackpot plan to keep living in their retirement home and perhaps splurge on a new pair of nylons for her and a Lincoln car for him. Thelma and Victor Hayes, who have been married for 63 years, had played the same numbers for years but decided to go for a quick pick of random figures for the August 6 draw, Canadian media reported Tuesday.
The pair, who both turn 90 soon and have two daughters, said they were unlikely to become giddy high spenders."No plans, except I’m getting a new pair of nylons,” Thelma Hayes said. Her husband was a little more bold: “I’d like a Lincoln, if I can find one that’s suitable.” The Ontario Lottery and Gaming Corporation said the Hayes are one of the oldest couples to win a big jackpot.
Posted by The Skipper
on 08/24/2005 at 06:30 AM
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Permalink • Lunatics In Love
Today’s ”Lunatics In Love” story is brought to you by Dennis Kucinich, Shirley MacLaine, Sean Penn and the city of Cleveland ....
Kucinich Gets Hitched to British Woman
CLEVELAND (AP)—Ohio Rep. Dennis Kucinich has married a British woman, shedding the bachelor status that made headlines during his long-shot presidential campaign in 2004. Kucinich and Elizabeth Harper, who works for a monetary-policy think tank in Chicago, were married Sunday before some 250 guests outside City Hall, where he once served as mayor.
Guests included Shirley MacLaine and Sean Penn. MacLaine and Kucinich are longtime friends, and Penn endorsed the Democrat for president last year. “It was a lovely ceremony, and the congressman really wanted to do this in the heart of Cleveland,” said Kucinich’s spokesman, Doug Gordon.
It’s the third marriage for the twice-divorced Kucinich, 58. Gordon declined to reveal other information about Harper, including her age, how she met the congressman or how long they have been a couple.
Kucinich had told New Hampshire audiences during the campaign that he was seeking a mate. Women then vied for a date with him during a contest arranged by a New Hampshire political Web site, but nothing romantic evolved from Kucinich’s breakfast date with the winner.
Posted by The Skipper
on 08/24/2005 at 06:18 AM
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Permalink • Tuesday - August 16, 2005
You have been warned
Do not, under any circumstances, click on this link.
Forget NSFW, this is NSFAUAC (Not safe for anyone under any condition)
(HT: Sharp as a Marble)
Posted by Drew458
on 08/16/2005 at 11:34 AM
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Permalink • Tuesday - August 09, 2005
Pasta Across The River
Just across the Mississippi from us sane folks here in St. Louis in East Carondelet, Illinois they’re having way too much fun, it seems. Frogs Sports Club is in trouble for having nude women wrestling in a swimming pool filled with spaghetti noodles. Would this be what is meant by the term “kanoodling”?
EAST CARONDELET—Frog’s Sports Club Inc.’s liquor license was under review at a village hearing Thursday night because of police reports of nudity, gambling and underage drinking. On Saturday, East Carondelet Police and the St. Clair County Sheriff’s Department arrived at 707 Davis Street Ferry Road in East Carondelet and shut down Frog’s bar after witnessing two nude women wrestling in a swimming pool filled with spaghetti noodles.
Ray Curtis, co-owner of the bar, asked Mayor Herb Simmons not to revoke the bar’s liquor license. “Everybody deserves a second chance,” Curtis said. “That’s what we’re asking for.” Village Attorney David Schneidewind asked for the village to revoke the bar’s liquor license for violating local ordinances and state statutes regarding illegal gambling, nudity and underage drinking.
Simmons, who is the liquor commissioner for East Carondelet, said he would review all of the documents and render a decision today. He said he would notify the parties in writing. During the hearing, Curtis said he had no idea that the nude entertainment was going on at his bar. “It’s my fault for not being there more often,” Curtis said. “The fliers said spaghetti wrestling, not nude spaghetti wrestling. Somebody could have come to me with this information before.”
According to the police report, it was bar co-owner Tom Williams who contracted St. Louis-based Unleashed Entertainment for $100, and agreed that the wrestlers would be able to keep their tips. Williams, who was present at the hearing, declined to comment.
Posted by The Skipper
on 08/09/2005 at 05:51 AM
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Permalink • Monday - August 08, 2005
High Noon Oddities
- Lock Up Those Nuts!
- Iguana Vasectomies!
- Killer Eels On The Attack!
- Octopus Tentacles Au Gratin!
- Six-Year-Olds Really Need Cell Phones!
- How To Lose Your Wife In Sixty Seconds!
- Dogs Can Do It But It’s Illegal For Humans!
- The European Union (EU) Doesn’t Like Boobies!
- Two Heterosexual Canadian Men Getting Married For The Tax Breaks!
Posted by The Skipper
on 08/08/2005 at 11:52 AM
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Permalink • Monday - August 01, 2005
A Fish Named .. Art
| Does your cat constantly get into your fishbowl? Are you bumping into your aquarium in the middle of the night, sloshing water all over the floor? If so, then you need this new fishbowl from PostModernPets. Just fill it with water, hang it on the wall and call it .... “Art”. Of course “Art” might need company so you can throw in a fish named Wanda, if you please .... |  |
Posted by The Skipper
on 08/01/2005 at 06:47 AM
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Not that very many people ever read this far down, but this blog was the creation of Allan Kelly and his friend Vilmar. Vilmar moved on to his own blog some time ago, and Allan ran this place alone until his sudden and unexpected death partway through 2006. We all miss him. A lot. Even though he is gone this site will always still be more than a little bit his. We who are left to carry on the BMEWS tradition owe him a great debt of gratitude, and we hope to be able to pay that back by following his last advice to us all:
It's been a long strange trip without you Skipper, but thanks for pointing us in the right direction and giving us a swift kick in the behind to get us going. Keep lookin' down on us, will ya? Thanks.
- Keep a firm grasp of Right and Wrong
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Oh, and here's some kind of visitor flag counter thingy. Hey, all the cool blogs have one, so I should too. The Visitors Online thingy up at the top doesn't count anything, but it looks neat. It had better, since I paid actual money for it.
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