Thursday - September 29, 2005

A Psycho, An Ambulance and a Deer

Police Find Missing Fla. Man Driving Dead Deer In Ambulance
Local6

JACKSONVILLE, Fla.—A man reported missing from a Florida hospital was found in North Carolina dressed like a doctor and driving a stolen ambulance with a dead deer wedged in the back, authorities said.

Leon Holliman Jr., 37, was reported missing from a River Region Human Services facility in Jacksonville last month.

The North Carolina State Highway Patrol found him driving the ambulance with the deer on Sunday.

“I don’t know how the man got it up in there,” said Sgt. Robert Pearson. “It was a six point buck.”

It wasn’t known where Holliman got the deer, which had been dead for some time, Pearson said.

Authorities tracked the stolen ambulance through three rural North Carolina counties and one county in southern Virginia before its tires were punctured and it wound up in a ditch, Pearson said.

Holliman was admitted to a North Carolina hospital for a psychiatric evaluation. Police said they would decide whether to charge Holliman after that evaluation is complete.

I’m not sure what I could add to this story, except .  

Posted by Drew458     on 09/29/2005 at 02:55 PM   
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   Wednesday - September 28, 2005

A Thousand Words

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. BARF .. There! I’ve got it started. Feel free to add your own “words” in the comments ...

_{(-- Our thanks (?) to Rancino for sending us this disgusting picture. My e-mail InBox is being disinfected as I speak.)}

Posted by The Skipper     on 09/28/2005 at 08:54 PM   
Filed Under: • Democrats-Liberals-Moonbat Leftists • Odd-Strange • Stoopid-People •  
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   Tuesday - September 27, 2005

Watch those Utensils Boys

(local6)

Man Killed With Fork

A Green Bay, Wis., man is charged with killing his neighbor with a fork, according to police.

Investigators said Gordon Senecal was taking care of Todd Charles’ 15-year-old pit bull over the weekend when an argument broke out between the two men.

The men began fighting at Charles’ home and Senecal was stabbed with a large serving fork, police said.

Senecal was taken to a nearby hospital, where he was pronounced dead.

Charles is expected in court Monday for his first appearance.

Posted by Drew458     on 09/27/2005 at 12:06 PM   
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Only In America

This story will not help stop the flow of illegal immigrants into this country one bit. Come to America, buy a lottery ticket, get rich! At least this fellow came in the right way. Congratulations, Moses. Spend it wisely ....

Man Takes Citizenship Oath, Wins Lottery
DES MOINES, Iowa (AP)

A man who immigrated from Kenya to the United States found prosperity beyond his expectations on the day he became a U.S. citizen. Shortly after Moses Bittok, of West Des Moines, took the oath of citizenship on Friday, he discovered he had a $1.89 million winning ticket from the Iowa Lottery’s Hot Lotto game.

“It’s almost like you adopted a country and then they netted you $1.8 million,” Bittok said Monday as he cashed in his ticket. “It doesn’t happen anywhere—I guess only in America.” Bittok said he took the citizenship oath at the federal building in Des Moines Friday then went shopping with his family. They stopped at a gas station to check his lottery ticket from the Sept. 21 drawing.

“For some reason, I’m calm,” he said. His wife, Leonida, screamed. Bittok, 40, an officer at the Iowa Correctional Institute for Women in Mitchellville, said he doesn’t know exactly what he will do with his winnings, but a college fund for the couples 4-year-old daughter, Mindy, is top priority. Bittok chose to receive his winnings in 25 annual payments of about $52,920 after taxes.

He came to the U.S. to attend college in Minnesota, then moved to Iowa to take the job at the women’s prison. He had purchased the winning ticket at a West Des Moines grocery store, where he once worked part time. Hot Lotto tickets are sold in Iowa, Minnesota, Montana, New Hampshire, South Dakota and West Virginia.

Posted by The Skipper     on 09/27/2005 at 05:53 AM   
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   Sunday - September 25, 2005

Very Bad News Indeed

Women bypass sex in favour of ‘instant pregnancies’


Wealthy career women in their 30s and early 40s, some of whom have given up regular sex altogether, are turning to “medicalised conception” - despite being fertile and long before they have exhausted the possibility of a natural conception.

Michael Dooley, a gynaecologist, obstetrician and fertility expert, said that in the past five years he has seen a 20 per cent increase in the number of patients seeking “inappropriate or premature” IVF treatment.

“Many of these couples are simply not having sex or not having enough sex,” he said. “Conception has become medicalised. It’s too clinical. There has been a trend away from having sex and loving relationships towards medicalised conception.”

Inapproprate is right!  What in the world are we coming to when there is no time for sex, but you still want to have kids?  Sheesh.  Don’t they know kids take a little time too????

_(telegraph)

Posted by Drew458     on 09/25/2005 at 04:40 AM   
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   Tuesday - September 20, 2005

Dip with the Monkey

What will those crazy Asians think of next?

Bathing with the Apes
It’ a 20-minute walk through forest to reach the 130-year-old ryokan, the Korakukan, which is famed as the place where you can share your idyllic hot spring dip with Japan’s snow monkeys. Jigokudani (Hell Valley) Onsen in Nagano Prefecture is probably the only place in the world where you can bathe in a mixed-sex rotenburo with these primates that are an endangered species.

Visit during the colder months, and stroll through the snow-draped pine forest down to the ryokan, which overlooks the River Yokoyu. Gurgling, steam-belching fumaroles dot the landscape-long ago compared with the Buddhist concept of hell-making you feel like you are entering the world of an ukiyo-e winter scene. The morning, around 7:30, when the monkeys come down from the mountains to warm up in the hot spring, is the best time to enjoy your dip here.

“Of course, they also hope that the tourists will feed them too, but you’re not advised to give them anything as it encourages them to attack humans,” explained Aki Okubo, who had come all the way from Aomori Prefecture to enjoy bathing with the macaque monkeys. “I don’t think they have any problems with the monkeys here,” he continued, “but I do know that other places around Japan, such as in Izu, have had problems with wild monkeys attacking people. For some reason, in Izu the monkeys particularly like attacking women. I guess that’s because they have seen them carrying shopping bags and know there is food inside.”

Posted by Drew458     on 09/20/2005 at 01:47 PM   
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   Wednesday - September 07, 2005

Busses?

Here, ladies and gentlefolks, is the latest satellite photo of those idle busses in New Orleans. Apparently, they have been possessed and re-arranged themselves to give us a message.

Posted by Drew458     on 09/07/2005 at 05:24 AM   
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   Tuesday - September 06, 2005

Want Some Beads?

Princess Cameron’s adult site is donating 100% of all new membership $$$ to Hurricance Katrina relief for the next seventy-two hours. Spank the monkey (or kill a kitten) and help a refugee. This is what makes America great!

Posted by Ronald Reagan's Ghost     on 09/06/2005 at 09:45 PM   
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   Tuesday - August 30, 2005

Twilight Zone

Occasionally stories come out of the Third World that leave me speechless ....

Billy Goat Gives Milk

(ANANOVA)—A male goat that reportedly gives milk has become a popular attraction in Brazil. The goat’s owner Luciano Gomes, from Melancias, is touring the country to show it off.

He told Terra Noticias Populares: “When I bought it, it already had two small teats and when I fondled them lots of milk came out.

“It is the only billy goat in the world capable of giving milk, I wouldn’t sell it for all the money in the world.”

Vet Flaviano Moreira commented: “It is totally abnormal for a goat to give milk, I wouldn’t go near it!”

Posted by The Skipper     on 08/30/2005 at 05:52 AM   
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   Saturday - August 27, 2005

Weirdest Headline Of The Week

Question: when you go to look at new cars, do they let you test drive them by yourself?

Answer: No, ‘cause they’re afraid you might not come back.

As one prosthetics company in Iowa recently found out, the same rules should apply to artifical legs ....

Man Fitted For $17,000 Leg Runs Off Without Footing Bill

(DES MOINES REGISTER)—The suspect fled on foot - an artificial foot.

Police say a customer who tested a specially designed prosthetic leg at a Des Moines supplier walked away without paying the $17,000 bill. Spectrum Prosthetics and Orthotics, 1900 Ingersoll Ave., reported the theft this week. Sgt. David Murillo said the man came in on Aug. 19 to be fitted for the leg, which included some special features.

He “was allowed to take it for a couple hours to ensure that the fit was proper,” a police report said. But, Murillo said, the man just kept walking.

“We’d been working with him for about a week,” said Todd Schweizer, one of the owners of the company. “We were trying to meet his needs.”

Detective Robert Lewis said store officials have a cellular telephone number left by the man, but no one answers. Lewis attributed the five-day delay in reporting the crime to employees’ belief that the man would return. As days went by, that appeared less likely, Lewis said. The detective checked out an address listed for the customer, but no one answered the door Thursday.

Posted by The Skipper     on 08/27/2005 at 02:22 PM   
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   Wednesday - August 24, 2005

OldCatWoman?

Memo To OldCatMan: C’mon, dude .. confess! Is this your ex-wife or one of your neighbors perhaps? Inquiring minds want to know ....

An older woman smokes a marijuana joint at Hempfest in Seattle, Washington. More than 150,000 people were expected to attend Hempfest at Seattle’s Myrtle Edwards Park on Seattle’s waterfront 21-22 August 2004. The event is billed as the world’s largest drug-policy reform rally.(AFP/Getty Images/Ron Wurzer)

From the HempFest web site: Seattle Hempfest advocates the decriminalization of marijuana for responsible adults, legal access to medical marijuana for patients who could be benefited by cannabis, and legal domestic hemp production. By producing a king size, world class event, Hempfest is demonstrating that cannabis enthusiasts are as responsible, professional, and successful as anyone else. Hempfest features extensive educational and informational content presented by some of the nation’s leading experts in the field of marijuana policy reform. We hope that all of this is contributing to the healthy, informed and energized local and national movement to change America’s pot laws.

Hempfest is first and foremost a political protest rally seeking to change America’s pot laws and to educate the public on the many uses of the cannabis plant. But it is also the largest collection of free Pacific Northwest (and beyond) music, as well as one of the largest street fairs in the world centering around cannabis. We like to call Hempfest a “protestival”, and think that we have created a new concept in political protest. Hempfest allows artists, speakers and even vendors to make a statement for pot reform by their involvement in our event.

Posted by The Skipper     on 08/24/2005 at 10:43 AM   
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Winning Big

The good news: A Canadian couple won the lottery (C$7.5 million). The really good news: they’re both 89 years old. The really, really good news: all they want to do with the money is buy a new pair of nylons for her and a new car for him ....

TORONTO (Reuters) - An 89-year-old couple who won a C$7.5 million lottery jackpot plan to keep living in their retirement home and perhaps splurge on a new pair of nylons for her and a Lincoln car for him. Thelma and Victor Hayes, who have been married for 63 years, had played the same numbers for years but decided to go for a quick pick of random figures for the August 6 draw, Canadian media reported Tuesday.

The pair, who both turn 90 soon and have two daughters, said they were unlikely to become giddy high spenders."No plans, except I’m getting a new pair of nylons,” Thelma Hayes said. Her husband was a little more bold: “I’d like a Lincoln, if I can find one that’s suitable.” The Ontario Lottery and Gaming Corporation said the Hayes are one of the oldest couples to win a big jackpot.

Posted by The Skipper     on 08/24/2005 at 06:30 AM   
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Lunatics In Love

Today’s ”Lunatics In Love” story is brought to you by Dennis Kucinich, Shirley MacLaine, Sean Penn and the city of Cleveland ....

Kucinich Gets Hitched to British Woman

CLEVELAND (AP)—Ohio Rep. Dennis Kucinich has married a British woman, shedding the bachelor status that made headlines during his long-shot presidential campaign in 2004. Kucinich and Elizabeth Harper, who works for a monetary-policy think tank in Chicago, were married Sunday before some 250 guests outside City Hall, where he once served as mayor.

Guests included Shirley MacLaine and Sean Penn. MacLaine and Kucinich are longtime friends, and Penn endorsed the Democrat for president last year. “It was a lovely ceremony, and the congressman really wanted to do this in the heart of Cleveland,” said Kucinich’s spokesman, Doug Gordon.

It’s the third marriage for the twice-divorced Kucinich, 58. Gordon declined to reveal other information about Harper, including her age, how she met the congressman or how long they have been a couple.

Kucinich had told New Hampshire audiences during the campaign that he was seeking a mate. Women then vied for a date with him during a contest arranged by a New Hampshire political Web site, but nothing romantic evolved from Kucinich’s breakfast date with the winner.

Posted by The Skipper     on 08/24/2005 at 06:18 AM   
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   Tuesday - August 16, 2005

You have been warned

Do not, under any circumstances, click on this link.

Forget NSFW, this is NSFAUAC (Not safe for anyone under any condition)

(HT: Sharp as a Marble)

Posted by Drew458     on 08/16/2005 at 11:34 AM   
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