Sunday - November 13, 2005

Sunday Funnies

This week’s comic strip comes from ”Commie Comics”, the 1950’s comic books put out by the FBI to combat the threat of communism. In today’s page we take up our story shortly after the revolution in Russia with Lenin sending out his evil minions all over the world to spread the plague of communism to other countries. The first targets are Paris and Chicago as the tentacles of the red octopus tighten their grip on the world in order to enslave mankind ...

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/13/2005 at 07:39 AM   
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   Saturday - November 12, 2005

Photo Du Jour

“Bubble Nebula”
-by-
Red Orbit

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/12/2005 at 01:08 PM   
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Drunk Moose Alert

When we finally caught up with Bullwinkle and Rocky, who were in Canada on a secret mission to stop Boris and Natasha from destroying the entire Canadian Navy (three rowboats and a rubber ducky), our hero moose only had this to say about the behavior of his wife and daughter back home, “The missus has been having stress-related problems lately after Rocky came out of the closet and broke off his engagement to my daughter. I have Mrs. B booked at the Betty Ford Clinic. No further comment.” Our hero then proceeded to compliment Rocky on his new pink dress before the pair of crime-fighters were viciously attacked by Fearless Leader’s dastardly duo. Stay tuned ....

Drunk Moose Invade Swedish Seniors Home
STOCKHOLM, Sweden (AP)

They rarely have problems with drunks or rowdy animals, but residents of a retirement home in southern Sweden had to deal with both: A pair of intoxicated moose invaded the premises.

The moose—a cow and her calf—had become drunk over the weekend by eating fermented apples they found outside the home in Sibbhult, said employee Anna Karlsson.

Police managed to scare them off once, but the tipsy mammals returned to get more of the tempting fruits. This time the moose were drunk and aggressive, forcing police to send for a hunter with a dog to make them leave.

Police did not pursue the culprits, but made sure all apples were picked up from the area, police chief Bengt Hallberg said. No one was hurt.

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/12/2005 at 12:06 PM   
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Muslims Burning Christian Churchs After Gambling Loss

Yes, you read that post title correctly. Muslims in Pakistan are burning down Christian churchs again. Oddly enough, Associated Press’s headline for the article doesn’t mention that it was a Christian church. You have to read on into the news article to find that out. You also have to read on into it to find out the real cause of the burning, which had nothing to do with religion. It started with a few Muslims who lost money gambling with a Christian. Did I mention that gambling is forbidden to Muslims, according to the Koran .... ?

“O believers! Intoxicants and gambling, worshipping stones and divination by arrows are impure, of shaytan’s handiwork: refrain from such abomination that ye may prosper. ” (Qur’aan 5:90)

Muslim Crowd Burns Two Pakistan Churches
LAHORE , Pakistan (AP)

Hundreds of Muslims attacked and burned two churches in Pakistan on Saturday after reports that a Christian man had desecrated Islam’s holy book. No one was injured in the blazes. A school, student hostel and the home of a priest were also torched by the crowd of about 1,500 Muslims near the town of Sangla Hill, about 80 miles northeast of Lahore, said police official Ali Asghar Dogar.

The attacks were being investigated. About two dozen people had been arrested, Dogar said. The fires came a day after a local Muslim resident accused a Christian of burning a one-room Islamic school along with copies of the Quran. Dogar said the allegations were apparently leveled by people who lost money while gambling with the Christian man on Friday, but police had detained him and were investigating.

Shahbaz Bhatti, head of the All Pakistan Minorities Alliance—which promotes the rights of minorities in mainly Muslim Pakistan, denied the charges and condemned the attacks on the Roman Catholic and Protestant churches. “No Christian burned copies of the Quran,” he told The Associated Press. “No Christian even can think of doing it. We have maximum regard and respect for the Quran and Islam’s Prophet Muhammad.”

Bhatti accused local Muslim leaders of using mosque public-address systems to urge Muslims to attack the churches. Non-Muslims comprise just 3 percent of Pakistan’s 150 million-plus population. The country’s Christian minority generally coexists peacefully with the Muslim majority, but there have been occasional attacks on churches and Christian clergy by Islamic extremists railing against Western influence in Pakistan.

Thousands of Pakistanis joined angry street protests this spring over the alleged desecration of the Quran by interrogators at a U.S. military prison in Guantanamo, Bay, Cuba. Desecration of the holy book carries the death penalty in Pakistan.

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/12/2005 at 11:38 AM   
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What Can Brown Do For You?

“When it .. like .. absolutely, positively .. like .. uh .. has to be there .. like .. overnight .. like .. far out, dude!”

Man Nabbed After 10 Pounds Of Pot Dropped Off
Binghamton, NY (AP)

A Binghamton man was arrested after a commercial delivery service dropped off ten pounds of marijuana. Authorities in Binghamton say they were tipped off by a narcotics task force in Tucson, Arizona.

Investigators say Nicholas VanValkenburgh, 25, was taken into custody at the address where the package of pot was delivered. VanValkenburgh was charged with criminal possession of marijuana, a felony. He was sent to Broome County jail after his arraignment in Binghamton city court.

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/12/2005 at 07:18 AM   
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Most Ridiculous News Item (of all time)

Hunting season just opened up in most states this week and there will be a lot of hunters out there in the woods, stalking deer, elk and other assorted critters. In the interests of public safety, I urge all hunters to make sure you wear highly visible day-glo orange vests to make sure other hunters can see you and (hopefully) aim elsewhere. However, if you’re in Louisiana it just might be a good idea to stay home until it’s all over. Trust me on that one ...

Blind Students Get A Shot At Deer Hunting
RUSTON, La. (ESPN)

Six people from the Louisiana Center for the Blind in Ruston got an opportunity this past weekend to do something they never thought they’d be able to do — go deer hunting. Toting shotguns, the blind hunters were part of the “Shot in the Dark” hunt in Caldwell Parish organized by the National Wild Turkey Federation. The hunt on Saturday and Sunday was the first time the Wheelin’ Sportsmen, an outreach effort by the federation, has been held.

“This hunt was set up to help folks with disabilities get out and have an outdoor experience,” said Greg Brown, Wheelin’ Sportsmen regional coordinator. The six hunters got their first chance Friday to practice shooting at the Ouachita Parish Public Shooting Range just east of Monroe. Each is teamed with a guide who sits behind him or her.

As a hunter holds the gun, a guide looks over the hunter’s shoulder down the barrel and tells the hunter where to adjust the aim and when to pull the trigger. Each hunter was also briefed on safety procedures. Jumar Johnson, 29, smiled proudly after taking his first shots at a paper target. He carried around his target, which showed a bullseye hit in the center.

“I didn’t think anybody would trust me out in the woods,” Johnson said. “This will be my first time to hunt, and I’m looking forward to taking home the biggest deer out there.” With the cooperation of the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers, the hunt was held on an island near the Columbia Locks and Dam. Lead Park Ranger Tony Porter said the island features about 350 acres of good hunting land.

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/12/2005 at 06:49 AM   
Filed Under: • Insanity •  
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Out Of The Frying Pan Into The Fire

You’re a terrorist who has been held in Guantanamo for years, being fed gourmet meals and given every perk imaginable, including your own personal copy of the Koran and allowed to pretty much be waited on hand and foot while US troops ask you nicely about your recent activities under the watchful eyes of the Red Cross and Amnesty International.

So what do you do when you are finally released back into the world? Why, you pack up your bags, go to Russia, blow up a police station and end up in Lubyanka Prison in a cell where millions have died before you, with only rats for company, being fed only bread and water and former KGB agents interogating you in a not-so-nice manner. Are you having fun yet, asshat ... ?

Ex-Guantanamo Prisoner Detained in Russia
NALCHIK, Russia (AP)

A man who was held at the U.S. military prison at Guantanamo Bay in Cuba has been detained on suspicion of involvement in attacks on police last month in southern Russia, a senior prosecutor said Friday. Relatives and lawyers confirmed that Rasul Kudayev, a Russian who was released from Guantanamo last year, had been detained and insisted the charges have been fabricated.

Deputy Prosecutor General Nikolai Shepel said witnesses, along with Kudayev’s own confessions, confirmed his involvement in preparing and carrying out the Oct. 13 attacks on government and law enforcement offices in Nalchik, the capital of the troubled Kabardino-Balkariya region. At least 139 people died in the nearly simultaneous daytime assaults on law enforcement offices, including the 94 accused attackers, according to official tallies. Shepel said more than 40 people have been detained on suspicion of involvement.

Alexandra Zernova, a lawyer for Kudayev, said that her client was physically too weak to participate in the attacks and said he had been tortured into confessing. Kudayev was imprisoned at Guantanamo Bay after being captured in Afghanistan and linked to the Islamic Movement of Uzbekistan, a terror group with alleged ties to al-Qaida. Since his release last year, he and his family have been repeatedly harassed by police, said his mother, Fatimat Takayeva.

Shepel also said that Ruslan Nakhushev, a respected Islamic expert and well-known government critic who has been missing since being questioned by security officers Nov. 4, has been charged with instigating the attack. Kabardino-Balkariya is one of several North Caucasus regions that has long been plagued by endemic corruption and violence—some of it stemming from criminal gang feuds and some spilling over from nearby Chechnya.

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/12/2005 at 06:33 AM   
Filed Under: • Terrorists •  
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Most Disgusting News Story Of The Week

I know that, without a doubt, I can always depend on people in San Francisco to come up with the stupidest and sometimes most disgusting items in the news. I have worked in that city and can’t, for the life of me, understand what causes such aberrant behavior among such a large group of people. There absolutely has to be something they’re putting in the water out there. This story is a case in point. CAUTION: read only if you have a strong stomach and can contain your anger ...

Police: Mother Offers Girl for Sex on Internet
MARTINEZ (KRON)

Police announced Thursday that a 22-year-old mother was arrested earlier this week for allegedly offering her 4-year-old child for sex. Police received a tip from the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children regarding a posting on Craigslist that was soliciting for prostitution. A person who is not involved in law enforcement contacted Shannon Nicole Woods online and learned that she had a 4-year-old child and was also pregnant.

According to police, Woods offered the child for sex to that person for $500 and arranged to meet in-person. Authorities then served a search warrant at a residence in the 200 block of Thistle Circle and placed Woods into custody on Tuesday. Woods was booked into the Contra Costa County Main Detention Facility on suspicion of offering a minor under 16 for lewd and lascivious acts. She is being held on a $50,000 warrant and is scheduled to appear in court in Martinez on Monday.

Her 4-year-old and one-week-old daughter are both in the custody of Child Protective Services. Craigslist founder Craig Newmark said Friday this case marks the first time “this variation” of solicitation for sex has happened on the Web site, though he is not familiar with the exact posting under investigation. When people complain about any of the thousands of postings on Craigslist, “We jump on it immediately,” said Newmark. He added he is one of 18 staff members at Craigslist and that he handles two-thirds of e-mail complaints personally.

The site is primarily “self-policing” and users regularly flag postings that look like they may violate site rules. “We’re among the best on the Web at handling this kind of thing,” Newmark said, explaining that Craigslist has reviewed with police across the country, the FBI and the Secret Service how to deal with criminal solicitations online. “They like how we handle things,” he said. Because Craigslist is a free online community of thousands of users, said Newmark, “We try to deal the best we can with the bad guys while respecting the whole Bill of Rights thing.”

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/12/2005 at 06:20 AM   
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Cheerleader Bar Room Brawl, Part II

I have to admit, I too have often been mistaken for being engaged in sexual activity when I was actually crying. I mean, both are forms of releasing tension, both usually involve making strange faces, and tears can easily be mistaken for perspiration, right? Most importanly, a bathroom stall at your local neighborhood bar is usually the best place to indulge in either one ... or maybe not ...

Cheerleader Says She Was Crying, Not Having Sex
TAMPA (TBO)

One of two former Carolina Panthers cheerleaders arrested in a Channelside nightclub bathroom said Thursday she was crying over an ex-boyfriend - not having sex with her teammate - when a fracas erupted over the women sharing a stall. Angela Keathley, 26, of Charlotte, N.C., released the statement through Tampa attorney Joe Episcopo. ``She just wanted to make clear there was no sex,’’ he said.

At least two women alleged in a Tampa police report they heard moaning in a Banana Joe’s bathroom stall about 2 a.m. Sunday and thought Keathley and Victoria Renee Thomas, 20, of Pittsboro, N.C., were having sex. Another woman thought Thomas was drunk and ill. Episcopo offered another version of events: that Keathley became ``emotional’’ over talking about her ex-boyfriend in the bar. ``The blond was comforting her,’’ he said.

When the women emerged, Thomas punched Melissa Holden, a woman waiting to use the bathroom, police said. Thomas identified herself to police using another cheerleader’s driver’s license, for which she faces a felony charge, in addition to misdemeanor battery. Police are still investigating how she obtained the license. Keathley faces two misdemeanor charges, disorderly conduct and resisting arrest. She has retained a labor attorney because she is concerned she may lose her full-time job as a nurse, Episcopo said.

Keathley and Thomas lost their slots on the cheerleading squad, known as the TopCats, after posting bail. Meanwhile, to capitalize on its sudden notoriety, Banana Joe’s is offering no cover charge on Fridays and Saturdays to patrons who dress like cheerleaders. Actual cheerleaders who are 21 or older can drink free, said Bridgette Collier, director of operations.

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/12/2005 at 05:47 AM   
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   Friday - November 11, 2005

Some People Just Suck

This story is dedicated to everyone who has ever danced the Limbo. Not that the story has anything to do with that particular dance but If you’ve ever danced the Limbo then you have definitely sung (at one time or another) the words ”how low can you go” which brings us to the subject of today’s News About People Who Just Suck ....

Aide Convicted Of Sucking Medication From Patient’s Pain Patch
CUMBERLAND, Md. (AP)

A West Virginia woman was convicted of neglect after she admitted removing a nursing home patient’s time-release pain patch and sucking out the medication, the attorney general’s office said Thursday. Megan Oglesbee, 21, of Keyser, W.Va., pleaded guilty Thursday in Allegany County District Court to one count of neglect of a vulnerable adult.

Judge Noel Spence sentenced Oglesbee to 18 months in jail, all suspended, and placed her on three years supervised probation. Oglesbee will be required to complete substance abuse treatment, submit to drug testing and is barred from caring for vulnerable adults.

Oglesbee was fined $1,000, which was also suspended, and ordered to pay $57.50 in court costs.

According to the attorney general’s office, Oglesbee was working as a nursing assistant at Moran Manor Nursing Home in Westernport on Oct. 15, 2004. A patient in her care had been prescribed a 72-hour transdermal pain patch. The day after the patch was applied, Oglesbee removed it, stuck a pin in the patch and sucked out the medication, authorities said.

Oglesbee then asked another nursing assistant to help her reapply the patch to the patient. The second assistant became suspicious, and Oglesbee admitted removing the patch, officials said.

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/11/2005 at 04:05 PM   
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And The Guns Fell Silent …

Aftermath
(1920)

HAVE you forgotten yet?…

For the world’s events have rumbled on since those gagged days,
Like traffic checked while at the crossing of city-ways:
And the haunted gap in your mind has filled with thoughts that flow
Like clouds in the lit heaven of life; and you’re a man reprieved to go,
Taking your peaceful share of Time, with joy to spare.
But the past is just the same--and War’s a bloody game…

Have you forgotten yet?…

Look down, and swear by the slain of the War that you’ll never forget.
Do you remember the dark months you held the sector at Mametz--
The nights you watched and wired and dug and piled sandbags on parapets?
Do you remember the rats; and the stench
Of corpses rotting in front of the front-line trench--
And dawn coming, dirty-white, and chill with a hopeless rain?
Do you ever stop and ask, ‘Is it all going to happen again?’
Do you remember that hour of din before the attack--
And the anger, the blind compassion that seized and shook you then
As you peered at the doomed and haggard faces of your men?
Do you remember the stretcher-cases lurching back
With dying eyes and lolling heads--those ashen-grey
Masks of the lads who once were keen and kind and gay?

Have you forgotten yet?…
Look up, and swear by the green of the spring that you’ll never forget.

-- Siegfried Sassoon

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/11/2005 at 12:00 PM   
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Hong Kong To London - Non Stop

It has a gas tank that holds 45,220 gallons of fuel and can go 13,422 miles between pit stops (0.296 mpg if you’re keeping count). That’s also more than halfway around the world. It can burn up a tank of gas between Hong Kong and London. Even more fantastic, it can be driven on this amazing non-stop 22-hour flight by a female pilot (who then spent 28 hours trying to parallel park the plane at Heathrow - or so I’ve heard) ...

Boeing 777 Sets Distance Record
LONDON (FOX NEWS)

A Boeing Co. jet arrived in London from Hong Kong on Thursday, breaking the record for the longest nonstop flight by a commercial jet. The 777-200LR Worldliner—one of Boeing’s newest planes—touched down shortly after 1 p.m. local time, 8 a.m. ET, at London’s Heathrow Airport after a journey of 13,422 miles. The previous record was set when a Boeing 747-400 flew 10,500 miles from London to Sydney is Andersen with a certificate confirming it was for the longest nonstop commercial flight.

Captain Suzanna Darcy-Hennemann, was at the controls when the plane left Hong Kong, said the trip east across the Pacific had been bumpy. “But we had a great ride across the United States ... and across the Atlantic we saw our second sunrise of the trip,” she said. The jet spent 22 hours and 43 minutes in the air.

Andersen said the Hong Kong-to-London flight showed the future of air travel. “With the 777-200LR, we are changing the world,” he said. “Passengers can fly commercially between just about any two cities nonstop.” The plane had four pilots and was carrying 35 passengers and crew, including Boeing representatives, journalists and customers.

The record-breaking attempt is part of Boeing’s fierce competition with its European rival Airbus. The Boeing 777-200LR Worldliner was designed to compete directly with the popular Airbus 340-500, which has a flight range of 10,380 miles. Boeing spokesman Chuck Cadena said earlier that after leaving Hong Kong, the Boeing jet was flying to the northern Pacific Ocean, crossing North America and cruising over the Atlantic Ocean to London. Hong Kong-London flights usually fly over Russia.

- Visit the Boeing 777 HomePage Here

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/11/2005 at 09:50 AM   
Filed Under: • Science-Technology •  
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Thank You All

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/11/2005 at 09:00 AM   
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Yea, Verily!

Before we begin this news story, let me make three key points here: (1) I believe in intelligent design because (a) there is a God and (b) how else can you explain all those molecules and atoms coming together to make such a handsome man as myself?, (2) With that said, intelligent design should be taught in church, not in science class because church is for faith and science class is for facts - faith and facts are mutually exclusive, (3) Pat Robertson is a moron. Carry on ...

Pat Robertson Tells Dover Residents They Rejected God
DOVER, Pa. (WGAL)

Pat Robertson had a special message for residents of Dover, Pa., today after voters there elected to boot the current school board, which instituted an intelligent design policy that led to a federal trial.

Robertson made the comment after Lee Webb of CBN News delivered a report on how residents in Dover voted in eight new Democratic board members, replacing all eight current members who had voted for a policy that required students in ninth-grade biology classes to hear a statement on intelligent design before hearing lessons on evolution. Webb then asked Robertson what he thought about the vote.

Here was Robertson’s response ....

“I’d like to say to the good citizens of Dover: If there is a disaster in your area, don’t turn to God, you just rejected him from your city. And don’t wonder why he hasn’t helped you when problems begin, if they begin. I’m not saying they will, but if they do, just remember, you just voted God out of your city. And if that’s the case, don’t ask for his help because he might not be there.”

The new school board members have said that they are not against intelligent design, but that they just don’t want it taught in science class. Intelligent design backers have consistently argued that the teaching is purely scientific and has nothing to do with religion.

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/11/2005 at 05:28 AM   
Filed Under: • Religion •  
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Not that very many people ever read this far down, but this blog was the creation of Allan Kelly and his friend Vilmar. Vilmar moved on to his own blog some time ago, and Allan ran this place alone until his sudden and unexpected death partway through 2006. We all miss him. A lot. Even though he is gone this site will always still be more than a little bit his. We who are left to carry on the BMEWS tradition owe him a great debt of gratitude, and we hope to be able to pay that back by following his last advice to us all:

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It's been a long strange trip without you Skipper, but thanks for pointing us in the right direction and giving us a swift kick in the behind to get us going. Keep lookin' down on us, will ya? Thanks.

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