Monday - September 27, 2004

Vilmar is MIA

I tried calling Vilmar a couple of times this morning before I left for the office but got no answer. My guess is he’s probably sprawled out on the back porch cursing the wind gods for the destruction of his flower beds and nursing a monster hangover .... or maybe not. Knowing Vilmar, he’s probably over at his parents making sure they’re OK and helping them with any damage. I’ll try again this afternoon and keep you all posted.

I had a dream last night that was actually a flashback from the movie “Forrest Gump”. Remember that scene when Forrest and Lt. Dan are on the shrimp boat and the storm comes up? Lt. Dan climbs to the top of the mast and curses at the heavens daring God to “give it your best shot”. That kinda sums up me and Vilmar. I’m Forrest, the good ol’ boy from Alabama who went out in the world and saw way too much, while Vilmar is Lt. Dan, the hard-bitten cynical lunatic with a mad-on at everyone. Yup, life sure is a box of chocolates, ain’t it?

In the meantime, Ric in Gainesville just checked in to send me the funny below from Carlos in Jacksonville. So that’s two cities in Jeanne’s path that managed to survive. Unfortunately, Vilmar is in Spring Hill (just north of Tampa) which was in the direct path of that windy bitch. Power is probably out down there. So far, it looks like the worst damage from Jeanne was when she came ashore between Vero Beach and Cape Canaveral. Vero Beach is total devastation and those folks down there have just started to get over Hurricane Francis. My heart goes out to them.

So enjoy this little funny to keep your sense of humor going and stay tuned ....

Top 13 Rejected Lines From Fairy Tales

1- Once upon a time, there was a handsome prince from the magical land of Nantucket who had a trusty broadsword so large that…

2- And then the Frog said to Princess Elspeth, “What, no tongue?”

3- So party of the first part and the party of the second part lived happily—and legally—ever after.

4- The wicked surrogate mother convinced the biological parents to leave the frozen embryos in the forest, where she planned to conduct stem- cell research on them.

5- Cinderella then demanded, “Dude, where’s my coach?”

6- In the lawsuit, Goldilocks accused the three bears of negligence, claiming that their having left the scalding-hot porridge where it could easily be stolen led directly to her third-degree tongue burns.

7- “Yes, Your Highness, it’s a very nice slipper—but do you have something with a higher heel?”

8- “Not by the hair of my crotchety-crotch-crotch!”

9- Sleeping Beauty awoke from her 100-year-slumber, sat up and told the prince, “Dude, that NyQuil sh*t is AWESOME.”

10- ...and that night, after the princess told him she was going to have his child, the prince put out to sea, vowing never to return.

11- And after the prince did slay the mighty dragon, knights from the far- away land called PETA did hound him the rest of his days.

12- “Hey, Mr. Building Inspector,” shouted the little pig, “if you got a problem with my straw architecture, you can just blow me.”

13- Then Mama Bear said, “SOMEBODY has been using my… umm… magical vibrating wand—and the batteries are all dead!”

Posted by The Skipper     on 09/27/2004 at 10:30 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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Not that very many people ever read this far down, but this blog was the creation of Allan Kelly and his friend Vilmar. Vilmar moved on to his own blog some time ago, and Allan ran this place alone until his sudden and unexpected death partway through 2006. We all miss him. A lot. Even though he is gone this site will always still be more than a little bit his. We who are left to carry on the BMEWS tradition owe him a great debt of gratitude, and we hope to be able to pay that back by following his last advice to us all:

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It's been a long strange trip without you Skipper, but thanks for pointing us in the right direction and giving us a swift kick in the behind to get us going. Keep lookin' down on us, will ya? Thanks.

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