Tuesday - April 15, 2014

two views on suicide

Earlier today, I posted about a suicide with the comment, “ At the age of 89, with her health failing and knowing with age would come more failure, and while still in control of all her faculties, she decided to end it there before such decisions could be denied her.”

The elderly lady didn’t much care for the world of 2014 and in passing (no pun intended there) said she wanted no part of it.  With her health failing due to heart and lung problems, she saw no future she could cope with.  Or maybe she just didn’t want to cope. 

Well, Wardmom had some strong feelings on the subject and expressed them clearly as she always does.
And, caused me to think quite a bit more and so I started to reply. Before long I realized I was writing another post as opposed to a simple comment.
By the time I finished what I had to say, and then deciding to post here instead, I also realized that what I had to say would not work unless I also posted Wardmom’s comment. And so I do so now, because taking one’s own life is a very serious subject.

I know I’m going to upset some here - as one’s life is and always should be one’s life - and business, but to me, this line explains it all:

never married or had children.

Self-centered from the start to the end.
How one can say ‘my life has been so full, with so many adventures and tremendous independence’ and go on to snuff out that life while blaming ‘modern’ society? Sounds more like she was scared to death of being dependent on anyone - most especially strangers - at the end.
It’s why most people have children - it used to be to take care of you at the end. Now, you might get lucky and have one descendent who gives a damn enough to visit once in while.
Fight it or embrace it - but never give up, never give in. Giving in, giving up are the ways the haters, takers and amoral scum - win. They have succeeded in beating you down. Posted by wardmama4
-30-

My answer as follows

Wardmom, there are some of us who just are not child oriented and who never had the desire to be parents. Doesn’t make us self centered, I don’t believe. Are people obligated to have children?

I had a career instead of a family, which never mattered to me. And having children with the thought that someday I might need care, seems not to be a good reason to have them. And if it is, is that not just as self centered?  And selfish?  Why should anyone have children if it isn’t in their nature? Not all people are natural parents. I never had the desire to father kids.

You seem to be asking how anyone could have had a full life if they ended up topping themselves. I don’t see the discrepancy.  Why isn’t it possible?  One has nothing to do with the other. There have been lots of very successful and happy ppl who, as the lady here has said, with her health failing (heart and lungs) the future was not going to get better and so ended it.

I had several years here of watching someone die by degrees. Several years of watching my wife run herself ragged caring for her mom, her back problems (my wife’s) made worse over time. The diaper changes by care workers coming in 2wice a day to turn and wash the old lady and wipe her ass. That sure as heck is not the way I want my exit to be when it comes.

I have no intention of putting my wife thru the hell of care giving after what I have seen. And to be very honest, even if I were not married and alone, I don’t want to be wearing diapers and having strangers come into my home to clean me up and wipe my backside cos I can no longer do it for myself.  That isn’t living.  That’s just existing.  For some folks I suppose that’s enough.  To simply breathe, and if lucky breathe all on their own.  If that’s what they want and they’re satisfied with what little there is, then more power to em.  But it surely is not my idea or my choice of being alive. 

Never give up? Never?
I don’t think so.
There comes a time for all of us where a decision is going to be made. I never want to be in that sad position I read about, where someone’s life is a misery, they want out of it, but can’t because that decision has been taken away from them. By strangers who can not possibly be inside their head or any other part of their body, to experience the same agony.

You said; “Sounds more like she was scared to death of being dependent on anyone - most especially strangers - at the end.”

Well, based on what I have seen and what I have heard and read, seems to me to be an honest and legitimate concern. Seems like legit fright too.

In the end, with failing health anyway, and modernity not to her liking, I think she was less blaming the modern world for her decision; rather, she was saying I believe, there’s nothing in this world I will miss, nothing here I think enough of to want to remain in it.  So goodbye world, I leave you to it and happy to do so.

What’s so wrong about that?

Posted by peiper     on 04/15/2014 at 02:15 PM   
Filed Under: • Personal •  
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