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calendar   Saturday - January 03, 2009

The reason you can not tell me anything new is because I already know all there is to know.

Ran into one of those types right here in our own house just today.  And not one but TWO! Two, in the same place on the same day. I guess they come in pairs now.

This is another (not unexpected) TROLL RANT and once again although the Trolls are different then the ones I ranted about a couple of months ago,
they are from the same health care agency.  This has less to do with national health then just plain MoonBat STUPID!
And oh golly gee whiz ... is this pair dumb!

WHAT’S ANOTHER TROLL OR TWO AMONG FRIENDS?
-or-

I KNOW IT ALL ALREADY.  THERE’S NOTHING MORE FOR ME TO LEARN.

January 3rd 2009

About a month or so ago I did a post about people known professionally as Care Givers. I wasn’t writing about the profession itself but about two in particular who I referred to as, “Trolls.”

In our particular case, these ppl come from an agency that supplies trained (not necessarily all well schooled) folks who attend to the disabled.
They also help a family like ours, where someone is old and bedridden.  My wife can’t do it all on her own, and her mother requires diaper changes up to four times a day.  These people also will bathe the patient and generally see to comfort where they are able.  Their reason for being is to help folks in my wife’s situation, and make it a little easier for her to cope with the physical side of things. 

Well, that’s the theory anyway and mostly it works.  Mostly.
As all things in life without getting overly philosophical about it, there are exceptions.
Those exceptions are known as ‘Trolls’ to me although you might have other applications that are more descriptive and to the point and maybe less personal.

Steady readers may also recall I ended that rant with the words Stay Tuned.  And why not as there’s always more.  How can there not be when we’re dealing with people and especially those of extreme ignorance.  While I do like the sound of the word troll, Stupid Idiots and Morons are closer to the facts.
How else may I describe people who see just one way, and refuse point blank to even consider there might be another way, or that someone else might have a better way of doing the same thing?

I have some explaining to do.  Some of this is gross and some may want to quit reading at this point.  It’s my self appointed job to keep on going, so I have to read it.

My wife’s 93 year old mother is bed bound and incontinent.  Her diet is not a big one and her appetite even less.  A lot of words to say she really doesn’t eat that much.  Most of what she does consume is soft or liquid.  But oh boy, do her bowels move.  And often as not, it might be liquid.  So let your imagination run away with this and you will have it nailed.

She is enclosed in not one but two diapers. There is also a pad under her, and I think they might be called crib sheets in the US. This pad however is used on top of the sheet, is disposable and can absorb a lot of water thereby protecting sheets and mattress.  In our case, one pad can normally be used up to four days, due to double wrapping.  That is, the wearing of two diapers. 

There is a certain skill in removing one diaper that’s soiled and leaving the second in place and retaining the crib sheet. (pad) They are very costly. 

I have said there is a skill to removing the diaper and keeping the pad clean.  And there is because my wife does it in the morning.  All on her own with no help and I really don’t understand how she does it.  I don’t understand how women cope with a lot of things that most men (I do include myself) would choose to ignore and would not cope with as well.  If at all.  You couldn’t pay me enough to change anyone’s diaper.  But wait, this isn’t me or my abilities or lack of them.  It’s about dumb Trolls who work as “care givers.” Back to the subject matter.

The first diaper change is done by the wife around 8:30 to 9 in the morning.
That means if there is anything in that diaper it’s been going on through the night and she, my wife, has quite a lot to clean up in the morning sometimes.  Sometimes there isn’t anything there to clean up.  But not too often.

Her mother offers no help and becomes quite rigid or else simply dead weight. She has a difficult time hearing and when she does hear you, it is often doubtful that she understands what it is you are asking of her.  So that morning change is pretty hard to do and it gets done because it has to. 

THE TROLL FOLLIES.
bat

This all brings me to today’s episode of the Troll Follies.  The care crew of two were due at 10:30, and were on time.  That isn’t always easy given emergencies and traffic and the fact that the agency will often send one CG to a far distant part of town and then bring her all the way back to this end.  They give them 5 minutes between calls which is silly to start with as it can often take a half hour to get between one call and another.
And this is funny.  They are not considered late until a full half hour passes beyond when they’re due.

So, our two TROLLS arrived on time and proceeded to do their job.  Oh hang on a minute. I can’t resist describing one of them. Not that it’s her fault poor lady. And it’s way off topic here I know.  One of them is very hard to look at when your speaking to her, (mostly you’re listening anyway as she doesn’t shut up long enough to hear what you’re saying) because you don’t know where to look when listening to her.
You see, she ‘s permanently cross-eyed.  No wait.  One eye is crossed all by itself and she appears to be looking …. ? At herself ?  Don’t know. It’s kind of distracting not knowing where to look when listening to her so I usually follow the sound best as I can.  May as well mention the other TROLL.  I’m convinced the thing sitting on her head is a wig and not her own hair.  It does not matter really except that it usually looks askew like a hat that isn’t worn straight.  She’s an older woman of 50 but hard for me to tell.  Wife says no, she’s younger. ? She has a pudgy face and nose but it’s the hair that stands out.  It’s skewed darn it. My eyes are fixed on this tilted wig (I am sure it is) and my fear grows that if I stare too long I too will become cross-eyed.

And she’s the one who already knows all things.  All mysteries are revealed to her and she no longer has anything new to learn. In her tiny world, there isn’t anything new since the Titanic. But I digress. 

After a few minutes the one with the one crossed eye comes out of the room the MIL resides in and veers in my direction saying the pad needed changing.  But it didn’t need it two hours before so the question became, how was my wife able to do it all alone without getting crap on it, and two trained Care Givers could not?  Could my wife be doing something a bit different?

Once the CGs had finished and were about to leave I brought up the subject of pad changes and asked if it couldn’t be done in a way so as to save it from becoming useless.  I started to say that my wife .......  and at that point the Troll of the crossed eye who will now be known as Troll #1, starts to shriek.  But we can’t reuse a dirty bed pad, it’s also against regulations and we can’t leave a dirty pad on the bed. We can’t leave a dirty pad … yadda,yadda.
Now readers, please keep reading that last line oh maybe 10 times because that’s exactly what Troll #1 is doing.  It’s like she was chanting and as I tried to tell her I wasn’t asking that, she kept right on in a fairly high pitched voice saying they couldn’t blah, blah.  She hadn’t heard anything I said.  So there I am in the hall with these two and I’m saying, can I say something?  Would you please listen? You aren’t paying any attention to what I’m trying to say.  But she kept on and on and finally I managed to say, I didn’t ask that they reuse a dirty pad at all.  I am asking if it can’t be done another way.  That’s when Troll #2 who’d been listening asked, “Are you saying we’re doing our job wrong?” And you could see in that bug eyed pudgy face that she’d just love a confrontation. To which I replied no.  “I am trying to say that there can be two ways of doing the same thing.” “ But your friend here won’t let me get a word in. My wife says she’s found a better way.” To which Troll 2 said, “Then you’re saying we don’t know our job.”

Since my wife can’t handle this task four times a day, we can’t tell anyone to screw themselves and buzz off.

Back comes Troll #1 with the mantra, “ but we can’t leave a dirty pad” …blah, blah.
And she starts all over again.  I wanted to tell her to shut the BLANK up.  The ‘F’ word did come to mind but I didn’t use it. 

So one troll wasn’t listening to the same conversation, and the other troll already knew all there was to know and needed no further knowledge on the subject. 

The solution found after this exchange of “ideas” was to simply buy a cheaper bed pad as suggested by Troll #2.

That was her solution, as opposed to leaning something different.

Stay Tuned


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Posted by peiper   United Kingdom  on 01/03/2009 at 10:34 AM   
Filed Under: • MiscellaneousStoopid-People •  
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Not that very many people ever read this far down, but this blog was the creation of Allan Kelly and his friend Vilmar. Vilmar moved on to his own blog some time ago, and Allan ran this place alone until his sudden and unexpected death partway through 2006. We all miss him. A lot. Even though he is gone this site will always still be more than a little bit his. We who are left to carry on the BMEWS tradition owe him a great debt of gratitude, and we hope to be able to pay that back by following his last advice to us all:
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Oh, and here's some kind of visitor flag counter thingy. Hey, all the cool blogs have one, so I should too. The Visitors Online thingy up at the top doesn't count anything, but it looks neat. It had better, since I paid actual money for it.
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