Tuesday - November 24, 2009

THE QUESTION: WHAT WAS HITLER’S FIRST NAME?  ANSWER:  HEIL

Too funny to ignore and good for a laff ....

Hitler’s first name was Heil: The most appallingly ignorant but hilarious quiz show answers

Last updated at 9:36 AM on 24th November 2009
SOURCE:  THE DAILY MAIL

The grotesquely wrong answers that some contestants give on quiz programmes would surely make most participants think twice before applying.
Here are a selection of the funniest answers taken from a new book…
quiz answers

THE ARTS

PRESENTER: Who painted the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel?

CALLER: Leonardo di Caprio.

(2CR FM)
BIOLOGY

PRESENTER: Was the Tyrannosaurus Rex a carnivore or a herbivore?

CONTESTANT: No, it was a dinosaur.

(Are You Smarter Than A Ten-Year-Old?)

ANNE ROBINSON: What type of bear lives in the Arctic?

CONTESTANT (after much thought): Penguin.

(The Weakest Link)
CLASSICS

ANNE ROBINSON: What was the principal language used by the ancient Romans?

CONTESTANT: Greek.

(The Weakest Link)
DOMESTIC SCIENCE

PRESENTER: Emmental and Double Gloucester are both types of what?

CALLER: Banks.

(Breakfast Toaster Quiz, Heart FM)
ENGLISH LITERATURE

JEREMY PAXMAN: Of all Beatrix Potter’s books, which is the only one to feature a human in the title?

ANTONY BEEVOR (author and historian): Peter Rabbit (Celebrity edition of University Challenge)

(BBC Radio 2)

ANNE ROBINSON: What ‘B’ was a pseudonym used by Charles Dickens?

CONTESTANT: Bart Simpson.
FILM STUDIES

STEVE WRIGHT: Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loincloth did he play?

CALLER: Jesus.
SPORT

ANNE ROBINSON: The point on a golf club or a tennis racket that gives the best contact is alliteratively known as the what spot?

CONTESTANT: The g-spot.

ANNE ROBINSON: In 1975 the first black tennis player to win the Wimbledon Men’s Singles title was Arthur who?

CONTESTANT: Askey.

ANNE ROBINSON: Who won the U.S. Open Tennis Championship wearing a black dress modelled on Audrey Hepburn’s in Breakfast at Tiffany’s?

CONTESTANT: Roger Federer.

(All the Weakest Link)
MUSIC

PRESENTER: Name the festival started in 1895 by Sir Henry Wood.

CALLER: Glastonbury.

(TalkSPORT)
GEOGRAPHY

DARREN DAY: What area of Germany is the cake named after, made with chocolate, cream, kirsch and cherries?

CONTESTANT: Belgium?

(Spin Star, ITV1)

PRESENTER: What is the capital of Cuba?

CALLER: Ermmm…

PRESENTER: Take your time.

CALLER: Ermmm…

PRESENTER: Go on, have a guess.

CALLER: Is it Belgium?

PRESENTER: Er, not quite.

(Sun FM, Sunderland)

DALE WINTON: Alderney and Sark - are they part of the Channel Islands?

CONTESTANT: Ooooh! Is that the English Channel? I don’t know, are there islands in the English Channel? I’ve never heard of any. France - that’s near the English Channel isn’t it?

(In It To Win It, BBC1)

ANNE ROBINSON: Pakistan was part of which other state until it achieved independence in 1947?

CONTESTANT: Bulgaria.

(The Weakest Link)

DAVE LEE TRAVIS: In which European country are there people called Walloons?

CALLER: Wales.

QUIZMASTER: Where is the Sea of Tranquility?

CONTESTANT: Ibiza. (RI:SE, Channel 4)
MATHS

ANNE ROBINSON: What kind of dozen is 13?

CONTESTANT: Half a dozen.

(The Weakest Link)
MEDICINE

STEVE WRIGHT: On what part of the body is a lobotomy performed?

CONTESTANT: The bottom.

(BBC Radio 2)
HISTORY

PRESENTER: What was the date of the Battle of Hastings?

CONTESTANT: Ooooh! Er.... was it 1974?

(Galaxy Radio, Leeds)

ANNE ROBINSON: Which English queen rode a chariot with knives on the wheels?

CONTESTANT (full of confidence): Victoria!

(The Weakest Link)

PRESENTER: Which ancient army was discovered in China in 1974?

CONTESTANT: The Territorial Army.

PRESENTER: What was Hitler’s first name?

CONTESTANT: Heil. (BBC Radio Merseyside)

(Breeze FM)

ANNE ROBINSON: What ‘T’ did British POWs use to escape from Second World War German prison camps?

CONTESTANT: I don’t know. Was it herbal?

(The Weakest Link)
POLITICS

PRESENTER: Who was the Prime Minister before Tony Blair?

CALLER: George Bush.

(Viking FM)

PRESENTER: Name Prince Charles’s younger sister.

CALLER: Is it Camelia?

(The Ugly Phil Breakfast Show, Kerrang! Radio)
RELIGIOUS STUDIES

PRESENTER: What religion was Guy Fawkes?

CALLER: Jewish.

PRESENTER: That’s close enough.

(BRMB)

ANNE ROBINSON: In Roman Catholicism, baptism, confirmation and matrimony are three of the seven what?

CONTESTANT: Deadly sins.

(The Weakest Link)
SCIENCE AND TECHNOLOGY

ANNE ROBINSON: What man made structure built during the 3rd century BC is often said to be visible from space?

CONTESTANT: The Millennium Dome.

(The Weakest Link)

Presenter: Which prominent Birmingham family had a toposcope constructed in 1923 for the top of Beacon Hill in Lickey Hills?

CALLER: The Osbournes.

(BBC Radio WM)
GENERAL STUDIES

TERRY WOGAN: Which Duke resides at Woburn Abbey?

CONTESTANT: Hazzard. (Wogan’s Perfect Recall, Channel 4)

PRESENTER: According to legend, who shot an apple off the top of his son’s head?

CONTESTANT: Well, straightaway I’m thinking of Isaac Newton.

(Are You Smarter Than A Ten-Year-Old?)

• Taken from Private Eye’s Dumb Britain 2 edited by Marcus Berkmann, published by Private Eye at £4.99.  Pressdram 2009.

SOURCE

Posted by peiper     on 11/24/2009 at 05:41 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor • UK •  
• Comments (4) • Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

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