Saturday - January 22, 2005

The Constitution .. Critical Update

Bill of Rights, Version 2.0

Amendment I

Congress shall allow no display of the Christian religion in any manner whatsoever, or allow the free exercise thereof on public property; or abridging the freedom of manic anarchists to slander at will; or invade the privacy of the press which shall be considered holy and sacrosanct; or the right of the people to gather as a mob and burn public buildings, the flag or each other as a redress of perceived grievances.

Amendment II

A well mannered populace, being necessary to the security of rich politicians, treasonous academics and hollywood activists, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be allowed under any circumstances.

Amendment III

No soldier shall, in time of peace be treated honorably nor given any assistance in any manner, without the consent of the press, nor in time of war, but in a manner commensurate with their status as baby-killers and war-mongers.

Amendment IV

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against any searches and seizures, shall not be violated in any manner whatsoever unless supported by oath or affirmation by seven or more reliable witnesses, countersigned by four or more judges, reviewed by sixteen or more lawyers of the ACLU and the accused given seventy-two hours to hide all drug-related paraphernalia and or bomb-making material in the place to be searched.

Amendment V

No person shall be held to answer for a capitol, or otherwise infamous crime as personal responsibility is no longer considered relevant.

Amendment VI

In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a trial lasting as much as twenty years by a carefully chosen jury in whatever district provides the best avenue for acquittal; to have witnesses against him slandered and publicly humiliated by sleazy lawyers; to have compulsory process for providing paid witnesses in his favor and to have the assistance of the most publicity-hungry lawyers money can buy.

Amendment VII

In suits at common law, where the value in controversy shall exceed twenty dollars, the right of trial by jury shall be optional, depending on the location and the whim of the court clerk and no fact tried by a jury shall stand until all appeals have been exhausted though they take an hundred years.

Amendment VIII

Bail shall not be required, nor fines imposed, nor punishments inflicted if the accused can be proven to be a victim of anything.

Amendment IX

The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed by the people as guaranteeing them any rights whatsoever.

Amendment X

The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the states, are reserved to the politicians with the most money.

Version 1.0 (no longer supported) may be viewed here.

Posted by The Skipper     on 01/22/2005 at 12:04 PM   
Filed Under: • Democrats-Liberals-Moonbat Leftists •  
• Comments (3) • Trackbacks(2)  Permalink •  

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Not that very many people ever read this far down, but this blog was the creation of Allan Kelly and his friend Vilmar. Vilmar moved on to his own blog some time ago, and Allan ran this place alone until his sudden and unexpected death partway through 2006. We all miss him. A lot. Even though he is gone this site will always still be more than a little bit his. We who are left to carry on the BMEWS tradition owe him a great debt of gratitude, and we hope to be able to pay that back by following his last advice to us all:

1. Keep a firm grasp of Right and Wrong
2. Stay involved with government on every level and don't let those bastards get away with a thing
3. Use every legal means to defend yourself in the event of real internal trouble, and, most importantly:
4. Keep talking to each other, whether here or elsewhere

It's been a long strange trip without you Skipper, but thanks for pointing us in the right direction and giving us a swift kick in the behind to get us going. Keep lookin' down on us, will ya? Thanks.

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