Thursday - March 19, 2009

Still here

I’m doing my best to keep up with the emails, but I can’t post everything that gets sent to me. And I’m days behind in everything.



Rancino sent in the best St. Paddy’s Day joke ...

Patton staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy.  He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Kathleen.

He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step.  As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump.  A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.

Managing not to yell, Patton sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding.  He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood.

He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed.

In the morning, Patton woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Kathleen staring at him from across the room, arms crossed and scowling.

She said, ‘Patton O’Malley, you were drunk again last night weren’t you?’

Patton groaned and said, ‘Ah woman, why would you say such a mean and hurtful thing?’

‘Well,’ Kathleen said, ‘it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, and it could be the wee drops of blood trailing through the house. Sure and it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly ... it’s all those damn Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror.’

Carol sends in some good advice ...

Rules for the Non-Military

*Dear Civilians, ‘ We know that the current state of affairs in our great nation has many civilians up in arms and excited to join the military.  For those of you who can’ t join, you can still lend a hand. Here are a few of the areas where we would like your assistance:*

1. The next time you see any adults talking (or wearing a hat) during the playing of the National Anthem - kick their ass.
2. When you witness, firsthand, someone burning the American Flag in protest - kick their ass.
3. Regardless of the rank they held while they served, pay the highest amount of respect to all veterans. If you see anyone doing otherwise, quietly pull them aside and explain how these veterans fought for the very freedom they bask in every second.

Enlighten them on the many sacrifices these veterans made to make this Nation great. Then hold them down while a disabled veteran kicks their ass.

4. (GUYS) If you were never in the military, DO NOT pretend that you were. Wearing battle dress uniforms (BDUs) or Jungle Fatigues, telling others that you used to be ‘ Special Forces.

   Collecting GI Joe memorabilia, might have been okay when you were seven years old, now, it will only make you look stupid and get your ass kicked.

5. Next time you come across an *Air Force* member, do not ask them, ‘ Do you fly a jet? ‘ Not everyone in the Air Force is a pilot.  Such ignorance deserves an ass-kicking (children are exempt).
6. If you witness someone calling the *US Coast Guard* ‘ non-military ‘ , inform them of their mistake - and kick their ass.
7. . Next time Old Glory (the US flag) passes by during a parade, get on your damn feet and pay homage to her by placing your hand over your heart. Quietly thank the military member or veteran lucky enough to be carrying her - of course, failure to do either of those could earn you a severe ass-kicking.
8. Don’t try to discuss politics with a military member or veteran. We are Americans, and we all bleed the same, regardless of our party affiliation. Our Chain of Command is to include our Comma! nder-In- Chief(CinC). The President (for those who didn ‘ t know) is our CinC Regardless of political party. We have no inside track on what happens inside those big important buildings where all those representatives meet. All we know is that when those civilian representatives screw up the situation, they call upon the military to go straighten it out. If you keep asking us the same stupid questions repeatedly, you will get your ass kicked.
9. ‘ Your mama wears combat boots ‘ never made sense to me - stop saying it!  If she did, she would most likely be a vet and therefore would kick your ass!
10. Bin Laden and the Taliban are not Communists, so stop saying ‘ Let’s go kill those Commies! ‘ And stop asking us where he is! Crystal balls are not standard issue in the military. That reminds me - if you see anyone calling those damn psychic phone numbers, let me know, so I can go kick their ass!
11. ‘ Flyboy ‘ (*Air Force*), ‘ Jarhead ‘ (*Marines*), ‘ Grunt ‘ (*Army*), ‘ Squid ‘ (*Navy*), ‘ Puddle Jumpers ‘ (*Coast Guard*), etc., are terms of endearment we use describing each other. Unless you are a service member or vet, you have not earned the right to use them. Using them could get your ass kicked.
12. Last, but not least, whether or not you become a member of the military, support our troops and their families. Every Thanksgiving and religious holiday that you enjoy with family and friends, please remember that there are literally thousands of soldiers, sailors, marines and airmen far from home wishing; they could be with their families.. Thank God for our military and the sacrifices they make every day. Without them, our Country would get it’s ass kicked.. ’
13. AND ONE MORE
    If you ever see anyone either standing for or singing the national anthem in Spanish - KICK THEIR ASS.

Reader Christian lets the UK know that Global Warming’s “Mr. Hockey Stick” James Hansen is in Britain today to help protest the expansion of Heathrow airport. I wonder if cricket bats are a good answer to hockey sticks?

The director of a Nasa space laboratory will this week lead thousands of climate change campaigners through Coventry in an extraordinary intervention in British politics.

James Hansen plans to use Thursday’s Climate Change Day of Action to put pressure on Gordon Brown to wake up to the threat of climate change - by halting the construction of new power stations and the expansion of airports, with schemes such as the third runway at Heathrow.

The move by a leading American researcher is the highest-profile example to date of the way climate change is politicising scientists.

It follows last week’s climate science summit in Copenhagen where 2,500 leading climate scientists issued a stark warning to politicians that unless they took drastic action to cut carbon emissions, the world would face “irreversible shifts in climate”.

And Urkle and the unctuous garden slugs in DC? Don’t even get me started. Now they’re going to vote on passing a special 90% tax just to screw over those greedy AIG executives who took bonuses. So much for equal rights. So much for respecting contract law. Self-righteous fascist assholes ought to be lined up and flogged. And then flogged again because their idea is UTTERLY UNCONSTITUTIONAL: the bonus money is already paid, so such a bill would be Ex Post Facto. Even worse, such a specific tax on such a specific group would be a “writ of attainder” - revenge via taxation without the benefit of a trial or any legal charge - and that’s ALSO against the Constitution. So flog the bastards for even thinking in this direction, and then fire them.

“Bills of attainder, ex post facto laws, and laws impairing the obligations of contracts, are contrary to the first principles of the social compact, and to every principle of sound legislation. … The sober people of America are weary of the fluctuating policy which has directed the public councils.  They have seen with regret and indignation that sudden changes and legislative interferences, in cases affecting personal rights, become jobs in the hands of enterprising and influential speculators, and snares to the more-industrious and less-informed part of the community.” James Madison, Federalist Number 44, 1788

The damn bailout had specific provision that bonuses in pre-existing contracts were OK. So this is a media shitstorm over nothing ... which means it’s a smokescreen to hide something important. Like, perhaps the story of how billions of this money were sent overseas to bail out banks in France? But no, let’s watch Barney Fwank have another hissy fit over a few million in bonus money. Michelle Malkin has more if you can stomach this level of hypocrisy. I can’t. Including the news that it was Chris Dodd who put that clause in. That much gall ought to be fatal.

Was it a dumb move by AIG? You betcha. But they were told it was Ok. Is this phony outrage an even dumber move by the government? To the Nth degree. And the illegal bill they’re going to pass to “get revenge”? There aren’t that many levels of exponentiation to describe how wrong that one is. Every day it becomes clearer that government should stay the hell out of private business. Poorly run companies will fail. And investors will lose money. Damn shame. Welcome to life, no guarantees included.

Posted by Drew458     on 03/19/2009 at 11:51 AM   
Filed Under: • Miscellaneous •  
• Comments (3) • Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

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It's been a long strange trip without you Skipper, but thanks for pointing us in the right direction and giving us a swift kick in the behind to get us going. Keep lookin' down on us, will ya? Thanks.

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