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calendar   Saturday - August 06, 2016

screwed again

image


Damnation. Shit piss vinegar and damnation. Dammit dammit dammit, dammit!!

Remember how I have that garden out in the parking lot in front of our building here at the condo park? All the work I put into it, plants selected to bloom in sequence to keep the area in flower all summer long, only to have my “helpful” neighbors come and hack the entire thing back to the bare ground and call it “weeding”?

Yeah. $60 worth of alliums just about to bloom, buds swelling on the end of their 3 foot tall stalks. Dozens of them.  Gone. I felt violated.

Well, I tried to get over that. And five or seven weeks ago I laid down a whole bunch of marigold seeds, after buying a couple flats of Vinca and putting them in as a border. I spent very little but I had to do something, to show I was not beaten by their “accidental” actions.




Right. Well, I gave them time, and I wasn’t paying too much attention aside from a couple waterings during the hot dry spell, and once we had the rains some really amazing weeds started taking over. I’ve never seen plants grow so fast. Crazy. So I finally did the right thing (wanting to steal a march on my “helpful” neighbors just in case), and went out and fully weeded the whole thing the other day. I was very careful, but it was a huge job. I bet I took out 15 pounds of weeds. Crabgrass as thick as a McDonald’s soda straw. Some waxy oval flat leafed thing that sends out pinkish runners, and wherever a tendril touches down, it roots in and then sends out new shoots in 10 different directions. One run was 20 feet long. I tore that crap out by the bag, and found the queen plant that had stalks as big around as my finger. Rip!! Crivens! 

And when all was done, I had a lovely strip of annuals across the front under mulch, a nice pink and white vinca bordered 4x8 area in the middle, and bare clean earth in the other planting area towards the back. But in the middle, I had marigolds coming up. Dozens of little plants maybe 2” tall. I took away all the competing weeds, and gave them a nice drink of Miracle Grow. In 48 hours they had grown 3”, I swear. And I could see where I had to do some fill in seeding.

So I went out there early this evening. And once again found bare earth. Every last marigold plant had been plucked out of the ground and thrown away. Gone. All of it gone. Even the one “flyer” that was growing through the mulch in the pathway. The vinca was untouched.




It makes me so sad. I guess I could put down more seeds and another layer of dirt and try again, and maybe get some plants up that could produce a single blossom by the start of September. This latest rape cost me a precious month.



And I know it was you Carol, you nasty old busy body. You killed my alliums the last time, telling Jenn that they were only wild onions and should be ripped out. Jealous old cow. And you’re out there today trying to tell me it’s too late to grow marigolds. Why, the season is almost over! But what you don’t know, miss stupid, is that those tenacious little flowers will grow and grow and grow, and bloom hard until the second frost. No, maybe they won’t reach their full peak size. But I could have pumped them full of Miracle Grow and they would have done just fine. Assuming you don’t come pluck them for the third time when no one is looking.

“No, you don’t want to grow them this late. They’ll never bloom.”

“Riight, except these seeds came from plants that grew in August last year. All of them from the seeds you gave me the year before that. Well, looks like some very selective deer came through here and ate ever last plant and didn’t touch anything else.”

“No, deer won’t touch marigolds.”

“Yes, I know that. I was being ironic.”

No, I don’t think I’m going to bother to replant a third time. And I think it would be wrong to deliver a Viking-like revenge on someone with a crowbar and a 3lb rock hammer for such a minor offense as messing up someone else’s garden without permission. But right now it’s very tempting to think that way. Fertilize the soil with some blood and bone marrow. Accidental my ass, you stupid bitter jealous old bloated potato sack full of dog shit.


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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 08/06/2016 at 01:23 AM   
Filed Under: • Daily Life •  
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