Tuesday - July 20, 2004
PC Alert
It's official. Texans in Jefferson County will have to come up with a new name for Jap Road. The Anti-Defamation League filed suit and got a judge to order the name change.In other PC Madness, MoveOn.Org has filed a petition with the FTC to make Fox News cease and desist from using the slogan "Fair and Balanced", claiming the news organization is part of the Republican Attack Machine.
What next?
We're glad you asked ....
The State Of Georgia will be suing Keebler to make them stop calling their product "crackers", claiming it is offensive to southern white people.
It will no longer be allowed to refer to cold weather as "a little nip in the air" as it might offend Japanese parachutists. No word yet on the "nip and tuck" surgical procedure.
When going on a certain type of date, you can no longer call it "going Dutch" but will instead be referred to as "shared foreplay investment".
Amazon.Com will be forced to change its name after protests from female bodybuilders. The new name will be "HunkOfBurningLove.com".
Couples will no longer be allowed to "French Kiss" each other but instead will have to settle for a "tongue-bath" or "slobber-knocker". The French were highly offended.
A "Mexican Standoff" will be referred to in the future as a "mutually agreed acceptance of equality of force". Ai, Caramba!
The mythical aphrodisiac "Spanish Fly" has been trashed after Spain filed suit. The new name will be "intercourse initiator".
After protests from the NAAWP (National Association For The Advancement of White People), jockey shorts may no longer be referred to as "tighty whiteys" but will henceforth be called "all-cotton jewel pouches".
And finally, the term "Mongolian Idiot" will no longer be used after the Mongolian government filed suit in US Court. From now on, people with genetic birth defects which limit intelligence and who exhibit strange behavior will be referred to as "Democrats".
Posted by The Skipper
on 07/20/2004 at 11:52 AM
Filed Under: • Miscellaneous •
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It's been a long strange trip without you Skipper, but thanks for pointing us in the right direction and giving us a swift kick in the behind to get us going. Keep lookin' down on us, will ya? Thanks.
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Oh, and here's some kind of visitor flag counter thingy. Hey, all the cool blogs have one, so I should too. The Visitors Online thingy up at the top doesn't count anything, but it looks neat. It had better, since I paid actual money for it.
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