Monday - December 08, 2008

MOTHER ENDS HER DAUGHTER’S LIFE IN MERCY KILLING.  OR IS IT MURDER?

This is not the nicest way to start my Monday posts here and in fact I had something else all lined up.
However, this sad tale touches on a subject that I have been collecting articles on for some weeks now.  I have held them back for a number of reasons.
Not being able to think clearly enough to know where to start for one.  The subject matter and personal experiences all playing a role.

There are folks on BMEWS who are quite religious and take a firm stand on some matters that other folks may think should be open to arguments.
For example, people will say that nobody has a right to play God and take a life no matter what the circumstance.  But then, ppl who say that are not always in a position to experience the same thing.  And then as well, there are those who are either agnostic or atheist and so very honestly according to their lights don’t think they have a God to ask or answer to.  It’s a matter of morals not religion, but not everyone is going to see it that way.

This isn’t intended to start any arguments on religion or the beliefs or lack thereof.  I’d prefer to leave religion out of this even though I know many will see this story in those terms and no other.

Over the last month or two there have been a number of stories about very young people, kids really, girls in their teens, who have died tragically.
Not due to a careless lifestyle or drugs or drink.  They died due to the most awful illnesses imaginable.  In one case two sisters, one 19 and the other 22, died within months of each other due to illness.  That story along with one of a 13 year old girl who finally won her fight in a “right to die” case have really had an impact on me.  I seem to take these things personally and I have no idea why.  I have their stories and photos and plan on a posting very soon. 

I’m posting this particular story because it’s one of so darn many that have flashed across my screen lately I could no longer avoid the issue. 
I was once told by a mother who lost a child, that nobody who hasn’t experienced it can possibly feel the pain and anguish of a parent who outlives a child.  Of any age.  Most likely she was right but I sure can understand and do feel genuine sympathy for parents who’ve been through it.  It has to be the most gut wrenching thing a parent can experience.

For me it’s all made that much worse by being where I am and helping attend to someone who (in theory) is at the end of their life, but nevertheless continues on even though she has not one iota of quality of life.  A person of 93 who is unable to even brush her own teeth and has been bed bound for a couple of years.
Someone I refer to as a vampire because she sucks the life out of the living. Yet all these glorious young kids are dropping like flies all around me because of some damn incurable disease, while this other person of 93 does not have one single life threatening illness. NONE! 

So yes, I tend to take these things personally.

Mother arrested for murder after daughter is found dead after 16 years in bed.

By Daily Mail Reporter
Last updated at 12:49 PM on 08th December 2008

A policeman’s wife has been arrested on suspicion of the mercy-killing of the couple’s seriously ill daughter.

Detectives are now examining the exact circumstances of the death of 31-year-old Lynn Gilderdale, who died at her home in Stonegate, in East Sussex, on Thursday.

Her 54-year-old mother Kay, who was also her full-time carer was arrested by police on suspicion of murder and has been released on bail pending further inquiries.

Lynn’s father Richard, who is separated from her mother, is a former police sergeant who still works for the police in a civilian role in the nearby town of Hastings.

Lynn was diagnosed with ME, once dubbed yuppie flu, in May 1992. She spent much of her life unable to leave her bed, communicating with her family through sign language.

A tribute to Lynn was released through the police yesterday. In it, the family said: ‘Lynn was young, beautiful, loving and caring.

‘At the age of 14 years she was struck down by ME - an illness greatly misunderstood - and as a result, suffered the stigma attached to this dreadful illness.

‘She fought long and hard for 17 years with immense bravery, enduring constant pain and sickness.

‘Every system of her body was affected. She required 24 hour care that was provided by her totally dedicated mother, with continuous support from Lynn’s father.

‘Lynn suffered many hospital admissions, sometimes lasting several months, for life threatening conditions.

‘Prior to her illness, which left her paralyzed, unable to speak, eat or drink and until recently, no memory, she was an active healthy teenager full of life’s dreams. 

‘She enjoyed sailing, swimming, cycling and was an accomplished musician.

‘Her family praise and admire Lynn for her courage, which she showed to the end.

‘She was a much-loved daughter, sister and granddaughter who despite her illness always gave love and support to others.

‘In life Lynn strove to help the medical profession improve their insight into M.E. which affects thousands of people, in varying degrees of severity.

‘Her dedicated mother, supported by Lynn’s family, has pledged to achieve her ultimate goal - for better understanding and recognition of this life destroying illness.’

In a interview two years ago, Kay revealed how doctors at a specialist clinic in London treated her daughter as an attention seeker, with a made-up illness.

She said that although Lynn could not swallow, spoke only in a whisper and failed to recognise people, she was made to take part in punishing experiments.

At her worst, Lynn could only move her little finger, failed to recognise anybody, remember anything, experienced painful muscular spasms and shook all over.

She could not bear any light, touch or noise and could hear only one whispered voice at a time.

As a result of being bedridden, Lynn often had blood clots and suffered from severe osteoporosis, irritable bowel syndrome and asthma and was fed through a tube.

Speaking two years ago Kay said: ‘It’s like she’s in limbo. If someone dies, you mourn them, then you get to a stage where you know that person is gone and you move on. But Lynn is neither one nor the other.

‘She is stuck in that room, not dead, but not alive properly.

‘If I didn’t believe, and she didn’t believe, that one day she would get better then I don’t think it would be right for her to go on suffering like this for a whole lifespan of 70 or 80 years.

‘I don’t resent what it has done to my life but I do resent whatever has made her so ill. It’s been heartbreaking to watch my child lose her faculties one by one.

‘It is still very hard for me to see mothers and daughters together or groups of teenagers dressed up and laughing or to hear a family in the garden having a barbecue with children running around.

Lynn once spent two months on a life-support machine at Kings Hospital in London after suffering a punctured lung after complications receiving medication through a Hickman line.

Richard and Kay Gilderdale split up because of unrelated problems, but he visited his daughter regularly and also looked after her.

There is no known cure for ME and Kay previously told how she was online everyday keeping up-to-date with research into the syndrome.

Ch Insp Heather Keating, the Rother district police commander, said: ‘This is a very tragic incident, but we are not looking for anyone else in connection with it.’

The investigation into Lynn Gilderdale’s death is being led by Det Ch Insp Andy Griffiths from the Major Crime Branch of Sussex Police.

PHOTO IS HERE

Posted by peiper     on 12/08/2008 at 08:05 AM   
Filed Under: • Daily Life • Miscellaneous •  
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