Wednesday - September 06, 2006

Most Ridiculous Item Of The Day (so far)

There’s something fishy going on in Washington, DC ... and I don’t mean in our govermnent (although there is plenty of fishiness there as well). No, this fish story is frightening. Male bass are growing eggs and displaying feminine characteristics! Sort of a “Queer Eye For The Finned Guy” kinda thing, dont’cha know.

Since today’s theme seems to be sexual conspiracies (see post below this one) I am downright concerned and am wondering if this is some trick by the Gay-Lesbian-Transexual-Bisexual group (or whatever their name is).  Could they be putting something in the drinking water to make fish come out of the closet? And what happens when we straight males eat those flakey fish? Do we wake up the next morning with large boobies and squeeky voices?

I know I for one am pretty concerned about this evil plot to rob us of our manhood with a biological weapon disguised under an innocent layer of tartar sauce. I demand a federal investigation into this matter. It’s obvious to me that some of our GOP congressmen have shown a severe lack of testicular fortitude lately. Can this be a symptom of an overall plan to “de-nut” our leaders?

The truth is out there ... and I intend to find it. Now, would you please pass me the hush puppies and cole slaw ...

Male Bass Across Region Found to Be Bearing Eggs
Pollution Concerns Arise In Drinking-Water Source
By David A. Fahrenthold
_{(WASHINGTON POST) - Wednesday, September 6, 2006}

Abnormally developed fish, possessing both male and female characteristics, have been discovered in the Potomac River in the District and in tributaries across the region, federal scientists say—raising alarms that the river is tainted by pollution that drives hormone systems haywire.

The fish, smallmouth and largemouth bass, are naturally males but for some reason are developing immature eggs inside their sex organs. Their discovery at such widely spread sites, including one just upstream from the Woodrow Wilson Bridge, seems to show that the Potomac’s problem with “intersex” fish extends far beyond the West Virginia stream where they were first found in 2003.

The cause of the abnormalities is unknown, but scientists suspect a class of waterborne contaminants that can confuse animals’ growth and reproductive systems. These pollutants are poorly understood, however, leaving many observers with questions about what the problems in fish mean for the Potomac and the millions of people who take their tap water from it.

“I don’t know, and I don’t think anybody knows, the answer to that question right now: Is the effect in the fish transferable to humans?” said Thomas Jacobus, general manager of the Washington Aqueduct, which processes Potomac water to provide drinking water for residents of the District, Arlington County and Falls Church.

Jacobus, like others at area utilities, said there was no evidence that tap water taken from the Potomac was unsafe to drink. They said humans should be far less susceptible to the river’s pollution than fish, because people are not exposed constantly to the water, our hormone systems work differently, and our larger bodies should require higher doses of any pollutant to cause problems. As research on the fish continues, other scientists across the region are trying to determine whether Potomac water or mud can affect human cells. This research, including tests at West Virginia University that examine whether cells react as if estrogen or estrogen mimics are present, has not reached any solid conclusions.

The first intersex fish in this area were found three years ago in the South Branch of the Potomac, a tributary more than 200 miles upstream from Washington. In 2004, more abnormal bass were discovered in a section of the upper Potomac near Sharpsburg, Md.

Following up, last fall federal and state researchers caught smallmouth bass in the Shenandoah River in Virginia and in the Monocacy River and Conococheague Creek in Maryland. All three tributaries eventually empty into the Potomac. At the site on the Potomac itself in the District, there are no smallmouth bass, so the researchers examined largemouth bass.

The results were striking, according to Vicki S. Blazer, a fish pathologist with the U.S. Geological Survey. More than 80 percent of all the male smallmouth bass they found were growing eggs, including all of the fish caught at four of the seven survey sites. The intersex condition doesn’t change the fish’s outward appearance but can be detected under a microscope.

At the site in Washington, seven of 13 male largemouth bass showed some kind of unusual feminine characteristic. Six of the seven fish tested positive for a protein used to produce eggs, and three of the seven contained eggs, Blazer said.

- More on the transexual fish at WAPO ...

Posted by The Skipper     on 09/06/2006 at 10:35 AM   
Filed Under: • Satire • Science-Technology • Sex •  
• Comments (6) • Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

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