Sarah Palin will pry your Klondike bar from your cold dead fingers.
Friday - July 30, 2004
Da Balloons, Boss! Da Balloons!!
There is no way I could have either watched or listened to the bullshit and tripe coming out the Democratic Convention the past 4 days but at the closing last night, the balloons did not come down as quickly as was expected.Thanks to Neal Boortz, here's his take on what happened:
Gotta love it when something like this happens. Last night, after The Poodle finished his speech in Boston, just like past conventions, they were supposed to release balloons in the Fleet Center. Apparently there was some miscommunication, because it wasn't happening fast enough for Convention Director Don Mischer who was captured live on CNN saying the following:
"We need all of them coming down. Go balloons- balloons? What's happening balloons? There's not enough coming down! All balloons, what the hell! There's nothing falling! What the f---- are you guys doing up there? (emphasis mine) We want more balloons coming down, more balloons. More balloons. More balloons..."
CNN apologized, and another DNC official tried to save face by saying they planned it that way, that they wanted the balloons released slowly so that they lasted a long time. Suuure...if that were the case, I think the convention director would have known. My goodness! If they're going to lie about a balloon drop ... where does it go from there?
Somebody was asleep at the switch...must've been a couple of union guys. "
Good point, that---if they were to be released slowly why didn't balloon boy know about it?
Just another lie, folks. More of the same thing we know them to be famous for. And if they lie about balloons how can we trust these pieces of shit with the safety and security of our nation?
Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler
on 07/30/2004 at 07:59 AM
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on 07/30/2004 at 07:59 AM
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Scandal in Scandanavia
The liberal socialist paradise called Norway, which is considered to be the best place on EARTH to live (let's see: snow and cold 9 months of the year; 2 weeks where temps MIGHT get to 72, the remainder is rain, rain, rain; tax rates that'd make you blanche; dentist bills having gone up over 3 times more than everything else in the past 9 years; a haven to Muslims----yep, that's where I want to live!), is back on BMEWS. And yes, we are bemused at this.Remember last week I posted that Norwegians were trying to ban Islam? Well, that probably won't work now because they've passed a law saying that any ads about anti-terrorism measures is considered illegal!!!
Why? They'd be considered "political!" What a bunch of fucking fruitcakes!
To help explain why this country is falling into "fruitcake-dom" we have this lovely little piece (registration may be required) with such great quotes as:
"We have become a nation of whiners. Everything is wrong, yet we are living in the best country in the world. People complain and complain - because we have everything."
Hmmm, sounds like Americans to me!
"The country's bedrock work ethic is caving in. Like the overindulged children of newly minted millionaires, Norwegians now stay home from work at a rate that is the highest in Europe, outdoing even the former titleholder, Sweden."
Remind anyone of welfare? Yep! The discovery of oil in Norway has turned the country into a bunch of welfare queens.
"On an average day, about 25 percent of Norway's workers are absent from work, either because they have called in sick, are undergoing rehabilitation or are on long-term disability. The rate is especially high among government employees, who account for half the work force."
Did you catch that? The line about the rates of government employees? Remind anyone of your local government workers or DMV types?
Want to know why they got selected as the best place to live? They DON'T WORK!
"The average amount of time people were absent from work in Norway in 2002, not including vacations, was 4.8 weeks. Throw in vacation time (five weeks for most people), national paid holidays (11 per year) and weekends, and Norwegians take off nearly half the calendar year, about 170 days, a figure that does not include time off for disability and rehabilitation."
You'd think they'd do something about all the people calling in sick, eh?? Not really!
"Most people who take sick leave receive 100 percent of their pay for a year, though the level dips to 60 percent in the second year under a job rehabilitation program."
Ah, yes, a veritable workers' paradise---soon to come to a screeching halt from lack of productivity and loss of work ethic. Of course, before Norway collapses under the weight of its own laziness, the French will look at this and say it's an example to be emulated as it gives workers more "creative freedom" for personal expression and allows them to discover their inner "self." And it will spread to the rest of Europe whereupon which, that whole part of the world will be nothing but a welfare haven, all flocking to come to the US.
Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler
on 07/30/2004 at 06:58 AM
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on 07/30/2004 at 06:58 AM
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Post Turtles
With a tip o' the hat to that possibly treasonous Imperial Centurion, BarbWhile suturing a laceration on the hand of a 70-year-old Massachusetts farmer whose hand had been caught in a fence while working his livestock, a doctor and the old man were talking about Senator John Kerry possibly being in the White House one day.
The old farmer said, "Well, ya know, that Mr. Kerry is what we call a 'post turtle'."
Not knowing what the old man meant, the doctor asked him what a post turtle was.
The old man said, "You know. When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a post turtle.
The old man saw a puzzled look on the doctor's face, so he continued to explain, "You know he didn't get there by himself, he doesn't belong there, he can't get anything done while he's up there and you just want to help the poor stupid bastard get down so he can crawl away!"
Coming To A County Near Us In Florida?!?
Probably not as we tend to avoid locations populated with moonbats, but Michael Moore promises to be in SOME Florida counties to monitor the voting process in November.If that fat fuck ever comes to Hernando, though, he'd regret every single minute of it, I can assure you.
So where is it you think he'll go, huh? Could it be Miami-Dade? Broward?
Dems love to say the elections were stolen but I have yet to hear them explain in a rational manner why it is that in the counties where an extraordinarily LARGE majority of the voters are Democrats, where the local politicians are Democrat, where the Supervisors of Election are Democrats that REPUBLICANS stole the election?
To me it is proof positive that Democrats are fucking morons incapable not only of voting but of electing people with cranial capacity larger than a termite to run their governments. If Democrats selected and voted on the ballot design and layout, how can it be a "right-wing" conspiracy that those fucktards couldn't use them properly? And that excuse that Blacks were disenfranchised because their polling stations were moved---WHO THE FUCK moved them? A bunch of republicans in the dark of night?
If Democrats demanded and got new touch screen voting machines and then failed to keep copies of the results, how can that be a "conservative conspiracy to rig the election process?" Give me a major league break you stupid barking moonbats! You blow it in 2000, get new machines (under the same leadership) in 2002 and 2003 and can find no one to blame but Republicans? No wonder people use the term, "Flori-DUH!" when talking about us!
Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler
on 07/30/2004 at 06:39 AM
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on 07/30/2004 at 06:39 AM
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Daily Dose
Quote of the DayThe place where optimism most flourishes is the lunatic asylum. Havelock Ellis (1859 - 1939)
On This Day in History
1619 The first legislative assembly in English North America convened in Jamestown, Va.
1839 Slave rebels take over slaver Amistad
1863 Pres Lincoln issues "eye-for-eye" order to shoot a rebel prisoner for every black prisoner shot
1923 New Zealand claims Ross Dependency
1956 The phrase "In God We Trust" was adopted as the national motto.
1974 House of Reps recommends 3 articles of impeachment of Nixon
1975 Former Teamsters union president James Hoffa was reported missing. Many suspect he was murdered, though his remains have never been found.
1619 First legislative assembly in America
In Jamestown, Virginia, the first elected legislative assembly in the New World--the House of Burgesses--convenes in the choir of the town's church.
Earlier that year, the London Company, which had established the Jamestown settlement 12 years before, directed Virginia Governor Sir George Yeardley to summon a "General Assembly" elected by the settlers, with every free adult male voting. Twenty-two representatives from the 11 Jamestown boroughs were chosen, and Master John Pory was appointed the assembly's speaker. On July 30, the House of Burgesses (an English word for "citizens") convened for the first time. Its first law, which, like all of its laws, would have to be approved by the London Company, required tobacco to be sold for at least three shillings per pound. Other laws passed during its first six-day session included prohibitions against gambling, drunkenness, and idleness, and a measure that made Sabbath observance mandatory.
The creation of the House of Burgesses, along with other progressive measures, made Sir George Yeardley exceptionally popular among the colonists, and he served two terms as Virginia governor..
1932 Disney's first color cartoon
Walt Disney releases his first cartoon in color. The cartoon, Flowers and Trees, was made in three-color Technicolor; Disney was the only studio that used the process for the next three years, because of an exclusive contract.
Today's Birthdays
1936 Buddy Guy (blues artist)
1930 Thomas Sowell (economist)
1863 Henry Ford (auto manufacturer)
1818 Emily Bronte (author)
1947 Arnold Schwarzenegger (Governor of California, actor )
Thanks to The Quotations Page Famous Birthdays Snopes
Thursday - July 29, 2004
Tick .. Tick .. Tick ..
Caesar here (Allan's alter ego). I am a ticking time bomb. After five days in BeanTown listening to the DemonCrats surreptitiously and gathering intelligence I am about to explode. I have heard so much bullshit and outright lies that I want to lay waste the entire town with a M-60 (Rambo style), thank you very much. The hyprocricy is sickening. Listening to the liberal bloggers and pretending to agree is more than I can bear. I have ground my teeth down to the bone. I may be sick for weeks after this.On Saturday all will be made clear. I plan to dump on you folks my angst.
Memo to Vilmar: Your fears were unfounded. I could no more go over to the side of these "people" than you could learn how to fly without an airplane. At first I was confused by the two-faced mouthings from the liberals here but after a day or two I managed to get my bullshit meter under control. Stay the course buddy. I will escape from this House Of Insanity tomorrow morning and will be headed South.
Saturday's post will be of epic length. I apologize to all in advance.
To all of Caesar's loyal Centurions: Hang tough, kids. These weasels here are arrogant and full of shit. They are building a pyramid of lies. The Kedwards conspiracy will never destroy our will to fight to defend America and our rights. The Girlie-Men will be destroyed. Caesar has decreed it.
Posted by The Skipper
on 07/29/2004 at 07:57 PM
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on 07/29/2004 at 07:57 PM
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SICK! SICK! SICK!!
I hate PETA, I really do. But in this case, the guy responsible for this act should be handed over to the butchiest bull-dyke members of PETA for some "rehabilitation."
Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler
on 07/29/2004 at 06:25 PM
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on 07/29/2004 at 06:25 PM
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Meet the Enemy
I found this in James Taranto's Best of the Web today. If you click on the link later on it will not be there so here it is in its entirety. But really, make the The Best of the Web a "must read" every day.This one should give you a very good indication of the stupid assholes we have in this country who can't quite seem to grasp the reality of certain situations. They swallow the party line and have no ability to see beyond the blinders of their hatred for all things American.
Yes, Virginia, these people are proof positive that there IS brainwashing in America.
Here it is:
The Agony of the Feet
The next day, the pantomime Gongsters are gone from Copley Square. In their place are shoes--thousands and thousands of shoes. Multitudes of boots are arranged carefully on the lawn, with a sign explaining, "These 907 pairs of boots represent the U.S. soldiers killed in the Iraq war." Then there's a sloppy pile of shoes with another sign: "These 1,000 pairs of shoes represent a small fraction of the estimated 16,000 Iraqis killed in the war."
There are no million shoes for Saddam Hussein's Iraqi, Iranian and Kuwaiti victims; only his American victims seem to matter, and only those Iraqis killed in connection with a U.S. military intervention. Come to think of it, there also are no 3,000 pairs of shoes for those who died at the World Trade Center and the Pentagon--even though the group sponsoring this display styles itself Sept. 11th Families for Peaceful Tomorrows.
We approach a middle-aged man of ample girth, who seems to be in charge. "How many shoes do you have for Saddam Hussein's victims?" we ask.
He stands silent, facing us. He seems to be staring us down, but we have no way of knowing for sure, as he's wearing sunglasses, even though the day is overcast. Finally, after perhaps 15 seconds, he breaks the silence:
"Shame on you," he says.
He explains that his group has simply chosen--arbitrarily, if we understand him correctly--to highlight the U.S. soldiers and Iraqi civilians killed in the liberation. He offers an analogy: "There are books that are written about one thing, there are books that are written about other things."
We persist: Saddam's victims don't count unless they're American?
"Somebody else is dealing with that."
We point to the shoes representing the fallen soldiers: "Yeah, these guys are dealing with that."
Whereupon he says: "It saddens me deeply to see the anger in your face." And we suppose he has a point. We are ticked off at just that moment. There's something especially despicable about those who exploit the memories of American soldiers to further the false claim that they died for an unjust cause.
Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler
on 07/29/2004 at 07:01 AM
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on 07/29/2004 at 07:01 AM
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Muslims and Illegal Aliens
How many thousands (possibly millions) of Americans have to die in terrorsit attacks before the government gets serious about these shitbirds popping over our borders illegally and just start shooting them on sight or wherever they are caught?First we have a South African women arrested who may be a higher up on the Al Qaeda chain.
Then we have an engineer working for the city of Dallas arrested for funding Hamas.
It's bad enough we have to deal with illegal Mexicans coming across. Now we have Muslims, trying to look like Mexicans, doing the same thing.
And the pity? Well, it's that we have no harsh rules in effect for when we DO capture these fucktards.
It is time to shut down the borders. Hell, give me a gun and liberal rules of engagement and I'll work on the borders for free. I'd kill every asshole that tried to sneak over regardless of age, sex, religion, etc. I AM an equal opportunity "illegals" eliminator.
Believe me, once word got out that Americans were empowered to protest their own borders, you'd see a big decline in this sort of crap.
From the “Who Gives A F**k” Department
Looks like Saddam's ass-sucking lawyer is worried that he may die from a stroke before the trial. The only stroke I want this asshole to have is the stroke a bullet gives his brain.Better yet, they should turn him over to the victims' families so they have a chance to get a couple of "strokes" in before that piece of shit does die.
John Kerry For President!
I would have missed this if not for Bob. Thanks!Yep, that's right. I think the time has come for John Kerry to be President.....of France.
At least that's the premise behind the article by Burt Prelutsky.
A couple of gems:
It always kills me when some cluck – usually a Democrat – pushes through a trillion-dollar entitlement program in Congress, and then takes bows as if he's just written a personal check.
Kerry, if he really cared about the working stiff, would ask Teresa to liquidate her holdings in Heinz, a company that has most of its bottling plants outside the U.S., and, with the billion dollar proceeds, start up a company that could employ thousands of Americans.
Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler
on 07/29/2004 at 06:33 AM
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on 07/29/2004 at 06:33 AM
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Late Night Humor
Courtesy of NewsmaxFrom Jay Leno
Did you all see Hillary Clinton introduce Bill last night in Boston? It was like the party faithful introducing the party unfaithful.
There was one awkward moment when Hillary turned to Bill slapped him and said, "Which of your little whores gave you that tie!”
As I’m sure you know, former President Clinton spoke last night but he did not give the keynote address. Although I do understand he did give a key, a note, and his address to a waitress who was working the concessions stand.
I’m sure you saw this on the news last night the convention center was surrounded by police, FBI, they had sharpshooters on every roof top, security was tighter than John Kerry’s face after a Botox injection.
At the convention last night, Democrats were mad about all the good jobs lost because of Bush…..Whoopi Goldberg’s, Linda Ronstadt’s, Al Gore…. A lot of jobs….lot of jobs…
Did you see Kerry trying to throw out the first pitch at the Red Sox – Yankees game the other night. It didn’t even make it all the way to the plate. In fact, his pitch was so weak, today he was offered a contract with the Arizona Diamondbacks.
I tell you...(Lance Armstrong) really is a hero because they treated him terribly over there. They booed at him, they called him names, they threw drinks at him as he went by. He said he felt like Linda Rondstadt.
Coming out in a few minutes, we have the Governor of Kentucky Ernie Fletcher on the show. You know the difference between California and Kentucky? In Kentucky, when three-year olds are running fast, it’s called the Kentucky Derby. In California, when three-year olds are running fast, it’s called the Neverland Ranch.
From Letterman
It’s was cold here in New York City for this time of year. But not as chilly as that hug between Bill and Hillary last night.
Michael Moore is at the convention – which explains the tight security around the buffet.
John Kerry’s theme for the convention is "a lifetime of strength and service”. Is it really a good idea to run on an old Maytag slogan?
Did you see Bill Clinton speak at the convention last night? Did you see Bubba? Wooo! He had to stop 23 times for applause and 3 times for sex.
Daily Dose
Quote of the DayWhen we are born, we cry, that we are come to this great stage of fools. William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616)
On This Day in History
1958 President Eisenhower signed the congressional act that created the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) was authorized by Congress.
1890 Artist Vincent van Gogh died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound in Auvers, France.
1936 RCA shows the 1st real TV program (dancing, film on locomotives, Bonwit Teller fashion show & monologue from Tobacco Road & comedy)
1952 1st nonstop transpacific flight by a jet
1974 St Louis Card Lou Brock steals his 700th base
1967 Fire ravages U.S. carrier off Vietnam
Fire sweeps the U.S. aircraft carrier Forrestal off the coast of North Vietnam in the Gulf of Tonkin. It was the worst U.S. naval disaster in a combat zone since World War II. The accident took the lives of 134 crewmen and injured 62 more. Of the carrier's 80 planes, 21 were destroyed and 42 were damaged.
1976 The Son of Sam terrorizes New York
The so-called "Son of Sam" pulls a gun from a paper bag and fires five shots at Donna Lauria and Jody Valenti of the Bronx while they are sitting in a car, talking. Lauria died and Valenti was seriously wounded in the first in a series of shootings by the serial killer, who terrorized New York City over the course of the next year.
Once dubbed the ".44 Caliber Killer," the Son of Sam eventually got his name from letters he sent to both the police and famed newspaper writer Jimmy Breslin that said, "I am a monster. I am the Son of Sam. I love to hunt, prowling the streets looking for fair game. The weman are prettyist of all [sic]."
The second attack came on October 23, 1976, when a couple was shot as they sat in a car in Queens. A month later, two girls were talking on a stoop outside a home when the serial killer approached, asked for directions, and then suddenly pulled a gun out and fired several shots. Joanne Lomino was paralyzed from a bullet that struck her spine, but her friend was not seriously injured.
Following up on a parking ticket that had been given out that night, police discovered a machine gun in a car belonging to David Berkowitz of Yonkers, New York.
When questioned, Berkowitz explained that "Sam" was his neighbor Sam Carr-an agent of the devil. Sam transmitted his orders through his pet black Labrador. Years earlier, Berkowitz had shot the dog, complaining that its barking was keeping him from sleeping. After the dog recovered, Berkowitz claimed that it began speaking to him and demanding that he kill people.
In an unusual sequence of events, Berkowitz was allowed to plead guilty before claiming insanity and was sentenced to over 300 years in prison. In prison, he later claimed to be a born-again Christian.
Today's Birthdays
1805 Alexis de Tocqueville France, statesman/writer (Democracy in America)
1871 [Gregory Efimovich] Rasputin the mad Russian monk
1883 Benito Mussolini [Il Duce], Fascist Italian dictator (1922-43)
1905 Dag Hammarskjold 2nd UN Secretary-General (1953-61) (Nobel 1961)
1936 Elizabeth Dole US Secretary of Transportation (1983-87)
Thanks to The Quotations Page Famous Birthdays Snopes
Wednesday - July 28, 2004
One More For The Road
Almost out the door when this came in (thanks to Don R. - keep your powder dry, guy!). Caesar sincerely appreciates all the support and help from all our readers out there who have worked to help our Imperial presence through this crisis in spying out the enemy. All loyal troops will be rewarded. And for those who feared I might be swayed by "The Dark Side" (Vilmar), have no fear. I have met the enemy and he are full of shit ....God Bless America and God Bless All Of You ....
FIREARMS REFRESHER COURSE ----- From A to Z.
a. An armed man is a citizen. An unarmed man is a subject.
b. A gun in the hand is better than a cop on the phone.
c. Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface.
d. Gun control is not about guns; it's about control.
e. If guns are outlawed, can we use swords?
f. If guns cause crime, then pencils cause misspelled words.
g. Free men do not ask permission to bear arms.
h. If you don't know your rights you don't have any.
i. Those who trade liberty for security have neither.
j. The United States Constitution © 1791 by "We, The People". All Rights Reserved.
k. What part of "shall not be infringed" do you not understand ?
l. The Second Amendment is in place in case they ignore the others.
m. 64,999,987 firearms owners killed no one yesterday.
n. Guns only have two enemies: Rust and Politicians.
o. Know guns, know peace and safety. No guns, no peace nor safety.
p. You don't shoot to kill; you shoot to stay alive.
q. 911 - government sponsored Dial a Prayer.
r. Assault is a behavior, not a device.
s. Criminals love gun control - it makes their jobs safer.
t. If Guns cause Crime, then Matches cause Arson.
u. Only a government that is afraid of it's citizens tries to control them.
v. You only have the rights you are willing to fight for.
w. Enforce the "gun control laws" we have, don't make more.
x. When you remove the people's right to bear arms, you create slaves.
y. The American Revolution would never have happened with Gun Control.
z. "...a government by the people, for the people..."
Posted by The Skipper
on 07/28/2004 at 04:44 PM
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on 07/28/2004 at 04:44 PM
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Proclamation From Caesar: So Be It ….
Before I head off to Fleet Center for another evening of agonizing bullshit (which I am enduring only for the sake of you, our dear readers), I would like to pass along something I just received (from David H. - thanks, dude!):MUST READ! - This is a reality check for the government and for us. After all, THE LAW IS THE LAW.
.........................................................................
If the US government determines that it is against the law for the words "under God" to be on our money, then, so be it.
.........................................................................
And if that same government decides that the "Ten Commandments" are not to be used in or on a government installation, then, so be it.
.........................................................................
And since they already have prohibited any prayer in the schools, of which they deem their authority, then so be it.
........................................................................
I say, "so be it," because I would like to be a law abiding US citizen.
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I say, "so be it," because I would like to think that smarter people than I are in positions to make good decisions. I would like to think that those people have my best interest at heart.
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BUT, YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE I'D LIKE?
........................................................................
I'd like my mail delivered on Christmas, Good Friday & Easter & Sundays.
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I'd like the US Supreme Court to be in session on Christmas, Good Friday & Easter as well as Sundays. Why should these be holidays for them if they don't believe in the reason we have them?
.........................................................................
I'd like the Senate and the House of representatives to not have to worry about getting home for the "Christmas Break." What is Christmas without Christ?
.........................................................................
I'm thinking that a lot of my taxpayer dollars could be saved, if all government offices & services would work on Christmas, Good Friday, Easter & Sundays. It shouldn't cost any overtime since those would be just like any other day of the week to a government that is trying to be "politically correct".
........................................................................
This would not affect any "non-governmental" business since everyone else still has the freedom of religion, we could all still enjoy our holidays.
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So I guess if they continue to bow to the wishes of the few, & if this gets out to the right people, maybe they would bow to the wishes of the many.
.........................................................................
So be it...........
Caesar will have more from the Belly Of The Beast later tonight ....
Sperm Boy gets a Colonic
Sure looks like The Poodle is trying to remake his image. First, a Vietnam vet. Then a "regular schmoe" like everyone else. Then a moderate. Then a gun buff. Now, he's the "The Impreganator." (but it looks like he's getting a Katie Couric-style colonic first!)
(Or eyes could be deceiving me and he is trying to be one of the Tele-Tubbies?)
Update from Caesar:
Actually Vilmar, sKerry has joined the Oompa-Loompas from Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory.
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