BMEWS
 
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calendar   Friday - February 18, 2005

Greenpeace Gets A Ass-Whuppin’

Thirty-five Greenpeace protesters stormed the floor of the International Petroleum Exchange in London yesterday to protest the Kyoto Accord, believing it does not go far enough. What they got was what they deserved ....

What they were not prepared for was the post-prandial aggression of oil traders who kicked and punched them back on to the pavement.

“We bit off more than we could chew. They were just Cockney barrow boy spivs. Total thugs,” one protester said, rubbing his bruised skull. “I’ve never seen anyone less amenable to listening to our point of view.”

FYI, post-prandial means “after lunch”, and these asshats decided to raise a ruckus while these good ol’ cockney boys were lettling their lunch settle? Not a good idea, fucktards! As for listening to your “point of view”, if they wanted anything out of you, they’d have squeezed your head .... Oops, I’m sorry. That’s evidently what they did.

Another said: “I took on a Texan Swat team at Esso last year and they were angels compared with this lot.” Behind him, on the balcony of the pub opposite the IPE, a bleary-eyed trader, pint in hand, yelled: “Sod off, Swampy.”

Good on yer, Brits! Give ‘em another swift kick in the nads for us.

They made their way to the trading floor, blowing whistles and sounding fog horns, encountering little resistance from security guards. Rape alarms were tied to helium balloons to float to the ceiling and create noise out of reach. The IPE conducts “open outcry” trading where deals are shouted across the pit. By making so much noise, the protesters hoped to paralyse trading.

But they were set upon by traders, most of whom were under the age of 25. “They were kicking and punching men and women indiscriminately,” a photographer said. “It was really ugly, but Greenpeace did not fight back.”

Mr Beresford said: “They followed the guys into the lobby and kept kicking and punching them there. They literally kicked them on to the pavement.”

Of course these pansy-assed forons didn’t fight back. Their mommies weren’t there to protect them. You lot should have just kept kicking them in the ass all the way to Dover and then laughed at them as they swam away to France. That’s what I would have done .... but then again, I’m a gentle soul. Yeah, right!

Last night Greenpeace said two protesters were in hospital, one with a suspected broken jaw, the other with concussion.

Not enough, gang! Next time you see these asshats coming, break out the ClueBatsTM. I’m sure Emperor Misha would be glad to loan you lot a few nice hardwood varieties from his Imperial Armory. If not, give me a call. I have just the thing to “educate” these “varmints” .... a .45 ACP travelling at twice the speed of a fleeing hippy shit-fer-brains foron .... maybe even faster - I may have to experiment to get accurate results.

HELP WANTED: Greenpeace activist for target practice - will provide tennis shoes.



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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 02/18/2005 at 12:28 PM   
Filed Under: • Environment •  
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