Tuesday - May 24, 2011

Gratuitous Newsity

What a sad life ...

Here we go again. Troubled Child™ Linday Lohan is at it again. This is now two days in a row she’s managed to “accidentally” flash her bits and pieces in public to keep her name out there. You would have thought that her nearly fatal drug addiction and various run ins with the law would be enough, but oh no.

And I could have sworn the last I’d heard of her, she was supposed to be doing 6 months in jail. What happened there? Oh, she’s too good for jail, so she got community service instead. Yeah, that was it. So she went to a shelter to feed the homeless, and made news - serious news! - for showing up not wearing a bra. I am not kidding. The UK’s Daily Mail ran a piece with a boob expert ( I think it was a bra fitter from Marks & Spenser ) yattering on and on about how all this bouncing about all free and pokey was going to give her issues with gravity in the near future. The UK Sun had the nippy pics.

Alas, the future is upon us. Yesterday’s ‘wardrobe malfunction’ during a ‘modeling shoot’ made that all too plain. What was perfect and perky at 16 is quickly becoming a waistline accessory. And all the “we only do proper news” news sites run the story, and merely link to the Sun, which doesn’t pretend to be any better, and runs the pics.

And here we go again. Oh noes, Lindsay goes swimming in the ocean and her bikini top falls off! Giggle giggle, oopsie, wardrobe malfunction! Yeah, and the photographers were right there, managing to capture things in their razor sharp high resolution glory. Or lack thereof. Meh, I’d still give her an 8.5, but mostly because it looks like the blond dye is starting to wash out and her lovely natural dark red locks are starting to emerge again. Girl has hair, I’ll grant her that.

Lindsay Lohan suffered another wardrobe malfunction yesterday when a crashing wave removed her bikini top as she cooled off in the Miami surf. And despite clutching her arms across her chest, she could not stop her assets spilling out. The troubled actress, who’s currently serving 480 hours community service for stealing a necklace, gasped when she was struck by the wall of water.

NSFW PHOTOS AT THESUN.CO.UK

But she continued to merrily splash around nonetheless.

No doubt her jaw-dropping displays have gone down a storm with beady-eyed male bathers, but I’m not sure this is what the judge had in mind for her community service sentence.

Still, the freckly actress won’t be doing her hopes of landing more adult movie roles any harm with ‘incidents’ like these.

Next up she’s starring alongside JOHN TRAVOLTA and AL PACINO in Gotti: Three Generations, based on the life and crimes of notorious mafia boss John Gotti.

Let’s hope she makes the breast of it…

I don’t think she has much acting talent, and I hate her voice. Maybe she knows this too, and all her self worth is wrapped up in being a scag? Oh that makes sense. So I’m guessing her desire to stay in the limelight will eventually lead her to the porno industry, though I doubt by that point that even the expert soft-focus photographers at X-Art will be able to make her look good.

Seems a shame, but the porn world can always use another doped out fire crotch. For about a year.

Posted by Drew458     on 05/24/2011 at 03:13 PM   
Filed Under: • Hollywood •  
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