Monday - February 27, 2012

Don’t Fire Your Stern Guns!

I searched Project Gutenberg for some of Aristotle’s works to load onto my iPad. The search results also returned something with the intriguing title of Early English Meals and Manners. (Why this showed up with the search term Aristotle escapes me.) Of course, I had to download that too.

It’s full of all kinds of interesting and useful admonitions. Like:

General Directions for Behaviour.
Don’t claw your back as if after a flea; or your head, as if after a louse.
See that your eyes are not blinking and watery.
Don’t pick your nose, or let it drop, or blow it too loud, or twist your neck.
Don’t claw your cods, rub your hands, pick your ears, retch, or spit too far.
Don’t tell lies, or squirt with your mouth, gape, pout, or put your tongue in a dish to pick dust out.
Don’t cough, hiccup, or belch, straddle your legs, or scrub your body.
Don’t pick your teeth, cast stinking breath on your lord, fire your stern guns, or expose your codware before your master.

This is still surprisingly good advice today! Though I’m not sure how far is too far when spitting. And apparently you can expose your codware to anyone else but your master. And certainly, don’t fire your stern guns, unless you can do so silently. 

Posted by Christopher     on 02/27/2012 at 01:11 PM   
Filed Under: • Daily Life • History • Humor •  
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It's been a long strange trip without you Skipper, but thanks for pointing us in the right direction and giving us a swift kick in the behind to get us going. Keep lookin' down on us, will ya? Thanks.

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