Thursday - November 09, 2006

Comedy Central

I’m feeling kinda blue and down today. I need cheering up. I got it! I just need a good laugh ... and what better way to get my jollies than going to read The Tart Twat Of The Times, Maureen Dowd.

Gracious, that gal’s command of the language is magnificent. Unfortunately, the language she uses isn’t English. No, this raucous redhead speaks in “clichese”. One confusing cliche after another falls from her ruby red lips to splatter our foreheads with the literary equivalent of ... grits.

Then again, that’s an unfair statement. Grits actually do have a little taste. Anyway, while you peruse the putrid prose below, bear in mind that this is one of the educated elite of New York society and a highly paid professional journalist at the NY TIMES. - - - - If you’re waiting for a punchline, don’t worry your pretty little head. It’s the tangled text below. Every verb and noun conjoined in a brilliant exhibition of Ms. Dowd’s liberal arts education.

OK, I’ll quit now. I have to go off somewhere and collapse in side-splitting laughter. I just crack myself up at times. Speaking of “cracks” ...

A Come-to-Daddy Moment
By MAUREEN DOWD

They are dragging W. away from those reckless older guys who have been such a bad influence and getting him some new minders who are a lot more practical.

In a scene that might be called “Murder on the Oval Express,” Rummy turned up dead with so many knives in him that it’s impossible to say who actually finished off the man billed as Washington’s most skilled infighter. (Poppy? Scowcroft? Baker? Laura? Condi? The Silver Fox? Retired generals? Serving generals? Future generals? Troops returning to Iraq for the umpteenth time without a decent strategy? Democrats? Republicans? Joe Lieberman?)

The defense chief got hung out to dry before Saddam got hung. The president and Karl Rove, underestimating the public’s hunger for change or overestimating the loyalty of a fed-up base, did not ice Rummy in time to save the Senate from teetering Democratic.

But once Sonny managed to heedlessly dynamite the Republican majority — as well as the Middle East, the Atlantic alliance and the U.S. Army — then Bush Inc., the family firm that snatched the presidency for W. in 2000, had to step in. Two trusted members of the Bush 41 war council, Mr. Baker and Robert Gates, have been dispatched to discipline the delinquent juvenile and extricate him from the mother of all messes.

Mr. Gates, already on Mr. Baker’s “How Do We Get Sonny Out of Deep Doo Doo in Iraq?” study group, left his job protecting 41’s papers at Texas A&M to return to Washington and pry the fingers of Poppy’s old nemesis, Rummy, off the Pentagon.

“They had to bring in someone from the old gang,” said someone from the old gang. “That has to make Junior uneasy. With Bob, the door is opened again to 41 and Baker and Brent.”

W. had no choice but to make an Oedipal U-turn. He couldn’t let Nancy Pelosi subpoena the cranky Rummy for hearings on Iraq. “He’s not exactly Mr. Charming or Mr. Truthful, and he’d be on TV saying something stupid,” said a Bush 41 official. “Bob can just go up to the Hill and say: ‘I don’t know. I wasn’t there when that happened.’ ”

Bob Gates, his friends say, had been worried about the belligerent, arrogant, ideological style of Rummy & Cheney from the start. He fretted at the way W.’s so-called foreign policy “dream team” — including his old staffer and fellow Soviet expert Condi — made it up as they went along, even though that had been their complaint about the Clinton foreign policy team.

- There’s much, much more of this insane drivel but you have to be a subscriber ...

Posted by The Skipper     on 11/09/2006 at 12:42 PM   
Filed Under: • Media-Bias •  
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