Monday - October 10, 2005

British Rabbit Terrorists?

Put on your sleuthing caps, everyone! I think I have discovered a new terrorist cell, operating right under our very noses on the Isle of Portland in Dorset, England. Two recent stories caught my eye and, taken seperately, are completely innocent but when you put them together, they paint an ugly picture of a blossoming terrorist cell that rivals Al-Qaeda. For our first piece of evidence, I present the followng obscure news story from last Friday ...

Locals Petrified Of Wallace And Gromit
(Sky News)

Animated favourites Wallace and Gromit have become surprise victims of a local superstition - about rabbits.Posters for their new film, The Curse of the Were Rabbit, have been banned from the Isle of Portland in Dorset.For more than 100 years the word “rabbit” has been considered bad luck in the area because burrowing caused by rabbits has caused land slips in the area’s famous quarries.

Locals refer instead to “underground mutton”, or, more prosaically, “furry things”. The unofficial ban on the word came to light when publicists tried to put up posters for the new film featuring the clay duo. Authorities on Portland, which is connected to the rest of Dorset by a causeway, warned that the advertisements should not appear there because they could offend local people. Stone from Portland’s quarries is world-famous and was used to build St Paul’s Cathedral as well as many other London landmarks.

But in the past, quarry workers were so superstitious that if they saw a rabbit they would stop work and go home for the day. A crane operator was killed 100 years ago when the ground gave way because of rabbit burrows and his crane tipped over. Sailors also used to consider it unlucky to see rabbits before they set sail. The only poster for the film on Portland is on the road off the island and says: “Something bunny is going on”.

Mayor Tim Woodcock said: “There certainly is a feeling against the word rabbit, especially from the older residents. “It is a local superstition but like any superstition, people take it seriously.” Portland residents wishing to see the film will have to travel to nearby Weymouth instead.

Nyeahhhhh, what’s up, Doc? So they don’t like rabbits? They are so afraid of them, they can’t even say the word. They want it banned from their sight. Yep, sounds just like a certain “Religion Of Peace” to me ... weirdos freaking out and banning things that haven’t harmed anyone.

So now we come to the second clue in our little mystery. Read the story below from today’s news and tell me if you see a connection here ...

Fire Destroys ‘Wallace and Gromit’ Warehouse
BRISTOL, England (CNN)

The company behind the new “Wallace and Gromit” film said Monday its “entire history” has been destroyed in a fire at a warehouse containing props and sets. The roof and three interior walls of the Aardman Animations building in Bristol, west England collapsed after the blaze tore through the Victorian building, fire officials said The fire broke out at about 5:30 a.m. (0430 GMT), with flames reaching 100 feet into the air. The cause of the blaze was being investigated.

A spokesman for Aardman said the building housed props and sets from the company’s history, including its first three “Wallace and Gromit” films. No one was in the building when the fire broke out. Aardman said the sets and props from its latest film, “Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit,” were not caught in the blaze. Aardman has used stop-motion clay animation to create a series of acclaimed films, including three shorts featuring cheese-loving inventor Wallace and his resourceful dog Gromit.

The sets from those shorts—“A Grand Day Out,” “The Wrong Trousers” and “A Close Shave”—are all thought to have been destroyed, along with those from “Chicken Run”—Aardman’s first feature-length release. “Curse of the Were-Rabbit,” Wallace and Gromit’s first full-length feature, was released in the United States on Friday and topped the U.S. box office over the weekend. “Today was supposed to be a day of celebration, with the news that ‘Wallace and Gromit’ had gone in at No. 1 at the U.S. box office, but instead our whole history has been wiped out,” Aardman spokesman Arthur Sheriff said. “It’s turned out to be a terrible day.”

Sheriff said the warehouse contained sets, props and models from the company’s productions, from the children’s cartoon character “Morph” through the Oscar-winning, anthropomorphic “Creature Comforts” series to the Wallace and Gromit films.

So there you have it! I rest my case. I demand Scotland Yard investigate these fanatics on Portland Isle. I wouldn’t be surprised to find out they wear rabbit-fur towels on their heads. No sir! Not a bit surprised. Where will they strike next? Warner Brothers studios, home of Bugs Bunny? Yeegads! We better stop these rabbit terrorists over there or else we’ll have to fight them over here. C’mon Elmer Fudd, you’re either for us or you’re against us!!

Posted by The Skipper     on 10/10/2005 at 12:01 PM   
Filed Under: • Humor • Terrorists •  
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