Sarah Palin is the only woman who can make Tony Romo WIN a playoff.
Where to begin? The last ten days have been physically exhausting and nerve-wracking to say the least. The road trip began in Indianapolis, made its way to Boston, spent five days behind enemy lines and then made another trip of over 700 miles to Huntsville, Alabama. Let's start at the beginning ....
Leaving Indianapolis: I have been contemplating leaving the Midwest and returning home to the South for some time. Why? I’m tired. It’s time to go home and reconnect with family and old friends. Here’s a news flash for ya: I’ve been running in sixth gear pushing myself to the limits of physical and mental endurance since 1990. In that year I was a Senior Systems Engineer for Tandy Corp. I was installing Unix and Novell systems for small to medium sized companies over the Southeast. I had been doing that kind of work for over ten years, since the early 1980’s (I spent the 1970’s coding COBOL and RPG and IBM Assembler on mainframes using punch cards - BLAH!). In 1990 we were told that Tandy was getting out of the computer business (goodbye TRS-80, Tandy-1000, Tandy 2000, etc.) and all computer centers would be shut down. I had just turned 40 and I decided to give it one last push for the big money.
I had a B.A. from the University Of Alabama, majoring in Music from 1971. Not much to build a future on so I decided to go back to school. I enrolled at Troy State University taking night classes, working toward a B.S. in Computer Science. I transferred all general studies credits from Alabama to Troy State and started in the CIS curriculum. I met a good friend, Don Reeves, who was retiring from the USAF and was also enrolling at Troy State in the CIS department. He had managed to snag a job as a government contractor for Harris Corporation and helped me get on board with Harris too. I still owe him for that and he is probably the best friend I have in the world today. We were both working for Harris on the USAF’s base-level computer modernization efforts, which Harris had the contract to perform when Saddam Hussein invaded Kuwait. Harris was performing the work at the USAF’s Standard Systems Group at Maxwell AFB in Montgomery, AL. SSG became overnight a frenzied trailer and satellite farm during Gulf War I. We were both switching back and forth from one project to another in support of various Air Force functions .... and going to school at night and weekends. Sixty and eighty hour weeks? Bah! Those were only when things slowed down. I was surviving on two or three hours of sleep a night from 1991 to 1994. Four years that I just barely remember. I was single, having survived a nasty divorce in 1988. Don had a family and needed help with school. I helped him as much as I could, even to the point of helping him on research projects and term papers. It was the least I could do to repay his earlier help. That’s what friends are for. We both finished the B.S. degree in 1993 and he fell by the wayside to rest and catch up with his family. I kept going .... I enrolled in the Masters program at Troy State and started immediately. I swept aside the GRE and my candidate thesis (on software reliability factors) was approved. Three years later I walked across the stage and accepted my Masters in Computer Science. I thought I could finally rest. Don had finally enrolled in the Masters program and finished two years later (with a lot of prodding and help from yours truly). I was as proud of him as I was of myself. Today, he is a Senior Project Manager for Northrop Grumman.
I, however, was not allowed to rest. The dean of the Computer Science department talked me into coming on board as a member of the adjunct faculty at the University, teaching Computer Science classes at night. I couldn’t turn him down. Dr. Joe Boyett is one of the smartest people in the field .. his specialty is statistical analysis, queueing theory, networking theory and transportation theory. Don’t ask. He earned his PhD. from George Washington University after working on the teams managing convoys during WWII, which is where the whole concept of queueing theory and transportation theory originated. For two years I taught CIS classes for Dr. Joe. At work I had become involved in Relational Database Management Systems (RDBMS), particularly Oracle databases (Oracle is the largest database software company in the world and is the second largest software company overall (after Microsoft). After working with Oracle databases for the Department Of Defense for over five years, I was building a reputation as one of the top database specialists. At that point, Oracle phoned me and asked me to come to work with them. That was 1996.
I thought about it for about five minutes and accepted. I stopped teaching and went on the road as a Senior Consultant for Oracle Government Services Division. “Have Database Will Travel”. I was a hired gun, on the road 100%, putting out fires and assisting Oracle customers (Department Of Defense, Department Of Energy, the US Air Force, the US Army, the US Navy, the US Postal Service, etc.). One airport after another, one hotel after another, one more fire to put out, one more angry General or Undersecretary to console, one more fast meal on the run .... it lasted over two years and I finally started to run out of gas.
I left Oracle and started independent consulting with customers in Atlanta, New Orleans, Silicon Valley, and a few other cities I forget. Interspersed in there were a few direct hire jobs in Austin, Texas and for NASA in Mississippi. I finally wound up in Indianapolis last year, fifty-five years old and worn out. The less said about the Indianapolis work, the better. I have never seen so many “pretend IT people” in one place in my entire life. I was direct hired by a non-profit organization with some of the worst managers I’ve ever encountered, with no plan and no structure. Within a few weeks of arriving in Indy, I knew it was a losing situation. I started planning back in January about the time Vilmar and I started this blog. The blog is the only thing that has kept me interested and happy. In recent months I have been offered numerous jobs in Chicago, Michigan, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Tennessee and have even been contacted by the US Government to come to Washington to work on the House Of Representatives database (ugh!).
Then the contact came from Alabama and I instantly made up my mind to go home. It’s time to coast for a while and finish my books that I’ve been working on for five years. So there you have it.
Boston: I had already contacted the movers to come pick up my household goods when I realized it was going to be during the week of the Democratic Convention in Boston. Just for grins, I contacted a certain un-named Liberal blogger and challenged him to let me come along as part of his convention party. Needless to say, the first answer was “hell no”. The second time I asked, money was brought up but I refused. Finally, he agreed to get me credentials as a member of his blog but I had to agree (1) not to disclose who he is, (2) not to say anything bad about him, (3) and not to blog anything until after the convention. In addition, I was only allowed into the Fleet Center on Monday and Tuesday. I felt like James Bond penetrating SMERSH. I agreed to the terms though since I’ve never been to a political convention and wanted to observe one firsthand. He already had hotel reservations and was not willing to help me get a room. I made a few phone calls to a couple of guys who live in Boston, whom I had the pleasure to work with in 1997 on an Oracle assignment for Defense Informations Systems Agency (DISA). I was in luck .. the second call scored. James was planning on leaving Boston during the convention and taking some vacation time and he was glad to let me babysit his apartment. Unfortunately, he lives way out towards Waltham, which is a long train ride and an even further walk to the Fleet Center and the center of Boston.
Anyway, I girded my loins and set out for Boston early Friday, July 23. Two days later, I rolled into town on Sunday. The town already looked like it was going into lock-down mode. James and I rode around for a while and he showed me what had changed since my last visit (the Big Dig is finished). The town is still nasty and I would never want to live there. We had drinks at a place called “Cheers” that night. Yes, that “Cheers”.
James took off Monday morning and left me to it. I left about noon headed for downtown. I met up with the “un-named liberal blogger” and got my identification papers. Needless to say, I had to endure a lot of ribbing from him and his friends. Talk about Daniel into the lion’s den. Sheesh! We carefully wound our way past the security stations (I had taken the precaution of emptying all metal objects from my body and wearing a plain leather belt - I didn’t bring my laptop either .. all I had was a notebook and pen). As you know by now, the bloggers were seated way up in the nose-bleed section of the hall (which is smaller than you might think). I couldn’t believe the row of bloggers at their laptops (it looked like everyone was on a slow dial-up line). I have also never seen or listened to a more pumped-up, lunatic bunch of people in my life. The Dummycraps may have been trying to put on a kinder, gentler face for the TV audience but the people I listened to were almost literally foaming at the mouth. “Beat Bush”, “Cheney-Haliburton”, etc. I heard all the old tired attacks. I nearly bit my tongue in two.
After an eternity, the hall started to fill up. Warm-up acts were on stage and off and stagehands were desperately working in the shadows. Le Cirque De Soleil came to mind. Just when I was wondering when the ringmaster was going to bring on the elephants and tigers, out came .... Al Grrrrrr. I thought “here we go!”
Zzzzzzzzzzzzz .... who gave Al the Valium? What happened? Beats the f**k out of me. This was not the Al Grrrr we have all come to know and love. No fire-breathing rhetoric and only an occasional jab (lightly). Bummer! Bring on the clowns. The bloggers in front of me were also wondering but a few evidently were in on the “New Democratic Game Plan”. I waited.
Finally, the real show began. The Hildebeast came out and the faithful went wild down on the floor. I almost gagged. It was at that point that I realized this is not politics .. it is pure show business for the TV audience. Nothing more and nothing less. Thank God she was brief.
Suddenly, almost abruptly, she introduced the main act of the evening .... the “Lizard King” himself, Bill Clinton. I was only a few hundred feet away from him. My first thought was ....
COOTIES! ARRGGGHHH!
The speech was pure “Clinton Bullshit” but you have to admit the man knows how to preach to the crowd. I was reminded why he managed to stay in office for eight miserable years. Smooth tongue and a well-placed phrase. I shivered, just listening to him again. The hall echoed with the memories of past lies and smoothly slipping away from justice. Clinton is without doubt the epitome of the word “populist”. I almost blacked out when he started talking about the tax cut he got now that he is worth millions from book sales. I won’t even go into the whole “Strength and wisdom are not conflicting values” bullshit. The crowd loved it. I was nauseated with the implications of that sound bite. Make no mistake, Bill Clinton is not super-smart, as the Liberals would have you believe. He is what I call “clever” which has nothing to do with intelligence or smarts. That makes him dangerous.
Personally, I prefer a cowboy that everyone “misunderstimates” and who has problems with the word “nucular”. At least you know where Bush stands. I listen to the bloggers who are lapping all this up. They are already counting the votes and have decided Kerry will win in a landslide. “Get rid of Bushitler”, YEAH! I gag and bite my tongue.
Finally, the evening comes to an end and I can break free for a breath of fresh air. I needed it bad. The arrogance and pandering going on the Fleet Center is more than any rational person can stand. What you saw on TV was a carefully orchestrated mask, kids. My ears were ringing by the time I got back to the apartment. I don’t know whether it was my blood pressure or the noise of hundreds of angry Liberals on a short leash.
Tuesday morning I get up early and hit the streets. I want to see the protestors. There are a few weirdos wandering around with crackpot signs. You’ve probably already read about some of the loonies who were on the loose. The only thing that struck me was the fact that there were so few of them. This provided me with definitive proof that the loonies were being kept under control by the party that encourages their Moonbat behavior. I decided to visit “the cage”. But first, I encounter Copley Square and thousands of boots. I thought, “WTF?” I made the mistake of asking one of the smelly creeps standing around the display. I was told it was demonstrating a pair of boots for every serviceman who died because “Bush Lied”. I have never in my life come so close to committing homicide. I could have strangled that SOB standing there with that silly self-righteous grin and never lost a minute of sleep over it. I started to make a comment about “where are the millions of sandals for all of Saddam’s victims” but a little old lady came up to the creature and began questioning him, so I ducked out before I lost it. Damn! These people are brain-dead and so convinced they are right. There is no room in their universe for an opposing opinion. Damn! Damn! Damn!
I go on to “the cage” where the Dummycraps have roped off the protestors next to the Fleet Center. Pardon me, but isn’t that suppressing free speech, placing all dissident opinions in an “internment camp”? There is indeed a “chill wind blowing across this country” as Tim Robbins said. The problem is that it is a Democratic chill wind. The Liberals are the enemy of freedom and common sense. Of course, the protestors are the usual crowd of conspiracy theorists and stoopid slogans. I say we shoot them all .. the Liberals and the protestors. A useless mind is a terrible thing to waste.
Tuesday night: Howard Dean and Al Sharpton. Where the f**k are the dancing bears and jugglers. Sharpton was his usual full-of-shit, ranting, raving self. Dean seems to have lost his “YEARRRGGGGHHH”. Boring. Teresa Heinz Kerry .. I haven’t decided on her yet. She seems to want to stay behind the scenes but occasionally shows signs of becoming the Second Coming Of Hillary. Her accent also scares the f**k out of me. There’s too much German or South African in there. I don’t know what it is but it scares me. I noticed several inconsistencies in her speech but kept my mouth shut. I thought “he’s your gigolo, lady”. I hope he’s worth this boot-licking and lies you’re spouting.
Wednesday night I’m left to my own devices and just wander around downtown, on foot. I missed the Edwards speech but I’m told it was no big loss. I did see the Edwards family. Trust me, Mrs. Edwards ass is as broad as it looks on TV. Whooo, Bertha Butts! (I’m sorry, I know that was tacky but the woman needs to start skipping the mashed potatoes). Good looking kids though. It’s too bad they’ll be raised Dummycraps. Later that night I try to crash the big bloggers party in Charlestown. I was rudely treated and forced to watch from outside. Which suited me just fine. There seemed to be a lot of confident, happy people going in. I wonder how they’ll look in November if their “savior” loses. What will be, will be.
Thursday was spent just resting. My feet are killing me. I decide to stay in the apartment and watch the circus on TV. I went to sleep halfway through Kerry’s speech. I lost nothing.
So, that’s the way it was, kids. I hightailed it out of bandit country early the next morning headed south to meet my household goods in God’s Country. I’ll probably have more observations on the slapstick show in Boston over the next few weeks. I have about forty pages of notes to go through first.
I will watch the republican Convention on TV from home. I have a bad feeling about terrorist attacks. I saw our domestic terrorists firsthand in Boston and there are still foreign terrorists out there too. One or both of these groups will cause serious trouble in New York and I don’t want to be there. Someone else will have to cover the Republicans. I’m tired.
Allan
01-AUG-2004
GET ME OUT OF HERE ...
Oh, and here's some kind of visitor flag counter thingy. Hey, all the cool blogs have one, so I should too. The Visitors Online thingy up at the top doesn't count anything, but it looks neat. It had better, since I paid actual money for it.