Sunday - July 02, 2006

2006 Bill of Rights

Courtesy of Free Republic

Drafted By: Joseph Gestetner

I

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of Christian or Jewish religion, or prohibiting the free exercise of Islam, or abridging Osama’s freedom of speech, or of the Al Jazeera press; or the right of the terrorist peaceably to assemble, and to petition the ACLU for a redress or grievances.

II

A well regulated militia, being necessary to kill Iraqis, the right of Iran to keep and bear a nuclear weapon shall not be infringed.

III

No Al Qaeda soldier shall in time of peace be quartered in any secret prison without the consent of the EU; nor in time of war but in a manner to be prescribed by The Hague.

IV

The right of the terrorists to be secure in their training camp, prayer house, planning, and killing knifes, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no bomb shall be dropped, but upon an empty training camp, supported to divert attention from an ethical scandal, and particularly publish in the Times information describing the banks to be searched and the accounts to be seized.

V

No terrorist shall be held to answer for a terror plot, or otherwise infamous attack, unless more Americans die or in a civil court, even in cases arising in the war against terror or the Iraq invasion specifically in time of war or public danger (which never happens); nor shall any terrorist be subject to the same way they treat US solders; nor shall be compelled in any terror case to be a witness against a fellow Jihadist, nor be deprived of a TV, Koran, or prayer rug, without due process; nor shall private property be owned by a US citizen, instead should be maid public for just tax revenue, (A.K.A. Eminent Domain)

VI

In all terror capturing, the accused shall enjoy the right to a Moussaoui-sort trial, by an impartial jury of the State and district wherein the terror plot would have occurred; and to be informed of the eavesdropping program; to be comforted by a social counselor; to have compulsory process for being released to the Afghanistan war-fields in his favor to have the ability to fight again against the U.S.

VII

In contrary at common sense, where the value in controversy means attacking the US enemy in an pre-emptive move, the right to impeach shall be pushed forward, and no researching of facts shall be examined by the President’s opponents in any Court of the mainstream media.

VIII

Excessive bail shall not be required only for US citizens, nor excessive sleep prevention, nor cruel and unusual punishments – such as closing the heat or air condition – shall be inflicted upon Guantanamo detainees.

IX

The enumeration of the tactics of the terror war shall not be constructed to deny The New York Times of publishing it.

X

The powers not delegated to the terrorists by the 2006 Bill of Rights, are reserved to the UN Human Rights Commission and the ACLU.

* The 2006 Bill of Rights was ratified during the 2005-2006 Congress.

Posted by Christopher     on 07/02/2006 at 08:26 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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Not that very many people ever read this far down, but this blog was the creation of Allan Kelly and his friend Vilmar. Vilmar moved on to his own blog some time ago, and Allan ran this place alone until his sudden and unexpected death partway through 2006. We all miss him. A lot. Even though he is gone this site will always still be more than a little bit his. We who are left to carry on the BMEWS tradition owe him a great debt of gratitude, and we hope to be able to pay that back by following his last advice to us all:

1. Keep a firm grasp of Right and Wrong
2. Stay involved with government on every level and don't let those bastards get away with a thing
3. Use every legal means to defend yourself in the event of real internal trouble, and, most importantly:
4. Keep talking to each other, whether here or elsewhere

It's been a long strange trip without you Skipper, but thanks for pointing us in the right direction and giving us a swift kick in the behind to get us going. Keep lookin' down on us, will ya? Thanks.

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