BMEWS
 
When Sarah Palin booked a flight to Europe, the French immediately surrendered.

calendar   Thursday - June 09, 2005

FUN, FUN, FUN!!!!

s your life boring? Haven’t had much to do lately? Been feeling depressed and down? Well, we have something to cheer you up. Today only, we are offering you a chance to achieve immortality. All you have to do is come up with a slogan for a t-shirt. Which t-shirt, you ask? Well, it just so happens we have just the t-shirt that literally begs for a slogan .. nay, it screams for a slogan. The t-shirt in question is modelled below by our favorite crazy man, OLDCATMAN, whose recent visit to the hospital has left him slightly mobility-challenged.

So give it your best shot. What slogan do you think this tireless old reprobate needs on his chest .. or you can suggest a picture for this t-shirt .. or you can just photoshop the crap out of this picture and send it to me. The winner gets a free copy of OldCatMan’s new book “How to potty train a pot head”, coming out this Fall. (speaking of “pot”, what’s that pot, or bucket, on the front of the walker for? or do I just not want to know?)

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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 06/09/2005 at 08:25 AM   
Filed Under: • Crime •  
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Stoopid Dummycraps

Wanna know just how stupid Democrats and their supporters are? Well, let’s take MoveOn.org for instance. These idiots recently decided to “expose” some shady dealings between Tom DeLay and another Congressman, Mike Rogers. They put together a protest at Congressman Rogers’ office and were prepared to blast it all over the media. Only one problem .... it was the wrong Congressman ....

A protest organized June 1 by MoveOn, a liberal political action committee, drew about 20 people to the Michigan Avenue office of U.S. Rep. Mike Rogers, R-Brighton. Demonstrators protested Rogers’ ties to embattled House Majority Leader Tom Delay.

There was only one problem: They had the wrong Mike Rogers.

Whoops.

The group came armed with financial records from a Web site that detailed various financial contributions between the two Republicans, including a $20,000 campaign contribution from DeLay to Rogers as well as a $5,000 contribution by Rogers to DeLay’s legal defense fund.

However, the Mike Rogers involved was not the Michigan congressman, but rather Rep. Mike Rogers, R-Ala.

Federal Election Commission filings show that Michigan’s Rogers did receive $15,000 from DeLay’s PAC, but not the $20,000 that the other Mike Rogers received.

Michigan’s Rogers has not contributed to DeLay’s legal defense fund, according to Conor Kenny of Public Citizen, a non-profit watchdog group.

The Web site houseofscandal.org, where the information was gathered, apparently posted inaccurate information.

“It’s unfortunate that they made an error,” said Bill Rittenberg, a protest organizer.

Democrat Bob Alexander, who ran against Michigan’s Rogers in 2004, also participated in the event.

“It’s unfortunate that we had this inaccuracy,” Alexander said. “We didn’t attempt to mislead anyone.”

Sylvia Warner, press secretary for Michigan’s Rogers, said her boss and the Alabama congressman are frequently confused with each other.

“We get each other’s mail and each other’s calls from reporters,” Warner said, adding people should be more careful not to confuse the two lawmakers.

The protesters delivered a petition signed by 1,166 voters in Rogers’ Michigan district asking him and other Republicans to disassociate themselves from DeLay.

Stoopid jerks ....


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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 06/09/2005 at 05:48 AM   
Filed Under: • Democrats-Liberals-Moonbat Leftists •  
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Doin’ Hard Time

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Randy Bish, Pittsburgh, PA—the Tribune-Review


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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 06/09/2005 at 05:42 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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calendar   Wednesday - June 08, 2005

Gardening In The Twilight Zone

Imagine if you will: you’re on your knees in your garden, slowly working your way down the row of flowerbeds - you’re giving the dirt under the petunias a serious workout while sprinkling water on the daffodils in the next row ..
..
..
suddenly
..
..
a human leg with the shoe still tied on it slams into the ground next to you. You scream and turn to look up. Nothing there. No one around. Just you and .... the leg.

You have just entered the Twilight Zone Garden.


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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 06/08/2005 at 03:14 PM   
Filed Under: • Stoopid-People •  
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!! CONSPIRACY !!

BMEWS has obtained a copy of a secret White House memo that explains a lot of things that have been happening lately. We cannot reveal the source for this memo, except to say that it came from a very reliable official inside the Bush Administration. Pass this breaking news along to NBC, CBS, ABC, CNN and any other reliable members of the Official Mainstream Media Club such as MoveOn.org, DemocraticUnderground and DailyKOS. The people have a right to know ....

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Posted by Dan Rather   United States  on 06/08/2005 at 02:15 PM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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Reasons To Nuke France: Part MMMDCLXXIX

French fashion designers say “modern man is more open-minded, sensitive, free” and that the “macho man” of the past is being replaced with “hybrid man”.

imageimagePARIS (AFP) - Macho man is an endangered species, with today’s male more likely to opt for a pink flowered shirt and swingers’ clubs than the traditional role as family super-hero, fashion industry insiders say.

A study along these lines led by French marketing and style consultants Nelly Rodi was unveiled to Fashion Group International during a seminar Tuesday on future strategy for the fashion industry in Europe.

“The masculine ideal is being completely modified. All the traditional male values of authority, infallibility, virility and strength are being completely overturned,” said Pierre Francois Le Louet, the agency’s managing director.

Instead today’s males are turning more towards “creativity, sensitivity and multiplicity,” as seen already in recent seasons on the catwalks of Paris and Milan.

Arnold Schwarznegger and Sylvester Stallone are being replaced by the 21st-century man who “no longer wants to be the family super-hero”, but instead has the guts to be himself, to test his own limits.

“We are watching the birth of a hybrid man. ... Why not put on a pink-flowered shirt and try out a partner-swapping club?” asked Le Louet, stressing that the study had focused on men aged between 20 and 35.

Sociologists and other experts spent three months analyzing some 150 magazines and books and 146 Internet sites, as well as interviewing a dozen experts from Europe, the United States and China.

The traditional man still exists in China, Le Louet said, and “is not ready to go”. But in Europe and the United States, a new species is emerging, apparently unafraid of anything.

“He is looking for a more radical affirmation of who he is, and wants to test out all the barbarity of modern life” including in the sexual domain, said Le Louet, adding that Reebok with its “I am what I am” campaign had perfectly tapped into this current trend.

Nuke Paris! Nuke France! Nuke all the fashion designers! Nuke all the sociologists! And tell that peter-puffin’ asshat in the picture above that his bloody suspenders are on backward .... then slap him up side his empty head. Damn Frogs!


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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 06/08/2005 at 12:33 PM   
Filed Under: • EUro-peons •  
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News You Can Abuse

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