Saturday - April 23, 2005

More Moonbats for your viewing pleasure…

• We’ve all dreamed about it but it’s nice when someone actually does it.
• Canadians apply scientific method to test the waters.
• YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE THIS!
• Now THIS is what I’d call a ‘sleepy town’.

Posted by The Skipper     on 04/23/2005 at 03:33 AM   
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Joke

Mathematician, a Biologist and a Physicist are sitting in a street cafe watching people going in and coming out of the house on the other side of the street. First they see two people going into the house. Time passes. After a while they notice three persons coming out of the house.

• The Physicist says: “The measurement wasn’t accurate.”
• The Biologist concludes: “They have reproduced.”
• The Mathematician says: “Now if another person enters the house, it’ll be empty again.”

....and you thought I didn’t have a sense of humor.

Posted by The Skipper     on 04/23/2005 at 02:59 AM   
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Ponder these …

• 1.  What is the essence of loyalty?
• 2.  If you could go back and view any event in all of history or pre-history, which one would you choose?
• 3.  Who were the 3 most influential people in world history?
• 4.  What is the single most inaccurate or misleading piece of information circulating the world today?
• 5.  What qualities do you think a good leader should have?

Posted by The Skipper     on 04/23/2005 at 02:41 AM   
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   Friday - April 22, 2005

This One’s For The guys

I think BMEWS men are the personification of THIS song.

‘Sensitive New Age Guys’
by CHRISTINE LAVIN and John Gorka

Who like to talk about their feelings?
(Sensitive New Age Guys)
Who’s into crystals, into healing?
(Sensitive New Age Guys)
Who like to dress like Richard Simmons?
(Sensitive New Age Guys)
Who are hard to tell from women?
(Sensitive New Age Guys)
Who likes to cry at weddings?
Who thinks boxing is upsetting?
Who tapes “Thirty Something” on their VCR,
Who’s got “Child on Board” stickers on their cars, oh
(Ooh,ooh,ooh,ooh)

Who’s last names are hyphenated?
(Sensitive New Age Guys)
Who liked “3 Men and a Baby” a movie I hated?
(Sensitive New Age Guys)
Whose’s conciousness is constantly raising?
(senisitive new age guys)
Who’s tax free income is amazing?
(sensitive new age guys)
Who thinks red meat is disgusting?
Who’s into UFO channeling and dusting?
Who believes us when we say we’ve got premenstrual syndrome?
Who doesn’t know who plays in the Seattle Kingdome?

Who likes music that’s repitious?
(sensitive new age guys)
Who lkes music that’s repitious?
(sensitive new age guys)
Who’s concerned about your orgasm?(silence)
Well I guess it’s more important that they have ‘em.
(sensitive new age guys)
Who carries a baby on his back?
Who thinks Shirley MacLaine is on the inside track?
Who always sings on sing-alongs?
Even when they can’t stand stupid sing-alongs?

Posted by Annoying Little Twerp     on 04/22/2005 at 02:27 PM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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Matzah!

Just in time for Passover.

Posted by Drew458     on 04/22/2005 at 02:06 PM   
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Ain’t that a kick in the groin…

...to the ACLU. 

The Army reservist who was jailed for holding seven illegal aliens at gunpoint until Maricopa County, Arizona, sheriff’s deputies arrived will not be prosecuted as the action was determined to be a legal citizen’s arrest.

Heh.  Chalk one up for the good guys.

WorldNet

Posted by Drew458     on 04/22/2005 at 01:52 PM   
Filed Under: • Illegal-Aliens and Immigration •  
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“GUN’S DON’T KILL……………………”

A fun thing to do with the Internet (besides Blogging and Porn) is to pick a theme and go looking for images to match the theme.................aw......the Internet has a million of ‘em!

Gun control (and all of its pros and cons) is a popular issue with US.

I went trolling for those clever little signs that begin with ‘’GUN’S DON’T KILL.....YADA,YADA YADA!”

I found these..................PERHAPS YOU CAN ADD MORE?

PS: And please don’t forget to visit O L D C A T M A N’ S BLOG!

Posted by 1IDVET     on 04/22/2005 at 09:47 AM   
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Eggs Benedict XVI Recipe

I made these this morning. It is a pretty involved process, but quite tasty. Which reminds me of the old joke:

What do Eggs Benedict and a blowjob have in common?

They are two things that you never get at home.

There are four basic ingredients needed here:

Poached eggs.
German rye bread.
Sauerbraten.
Hollandaise sauce.

The Sauerbraten takes the longest time to cook so start it first:

Quick Sauerbraten

2 tablespoons of oleo
4 beef cube steaks
Salt & pepper to taste
2 tablespoons of chopped onions
1 cup of water
1 package of brown gravy mix
1 tablespoon of brown sugar
1 tablespoon of red wine vinegar

In fry pan, heat oleo, add milk and brown on both sides. Season with salt and pepper. Add onion, cook until tender. Stir in water, gravy mix, brown sugar and vinegar. Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly until mixture boils. Cover and simmer 10 to 15 minutes until meat is tender.

The hollandaise sauce is the second most labor intensive ingredient, so start it second.

Hollandaise

3 egg yolks
1 teapsoon water
1/4 teaspoon sugar
12 tablespoons (1 1/2 sticks) unsalted butter, chilled and cut into small pieces
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
2 teaspoons freshly squeezed lemon juice
1/8 teaspoon cayenne pepper

Pour 1-inch of water into a large saucepan; over medium heat, bring to a simmer. Once simmering, reduce the heat to low.

Place egg yolks and 1 teaspoon water in a medium mixing bowl and whisk until mixture lightens in color, approximately 1 to 2 minutes. Add the sugar and whisk for another 30 seconds.

Place the mixture over the simmering water and whisk constantly for 3 to 5 minutes, or until there is a clear line that is drawn in the mixture when you pull your whisk through, or the mixture coats the back of a spoon.

Remove the bowl from over the pan and gradually add the butter, 1 piece at a time, and whisk until all of the butter is incorporated. Place the bowl back over the simmering water occasionally so that it will be warm enough the melt the butter. Add the salt, lemon juice, and cayenne pepper. Serve immediately or hold in a thermos to keep warm.

Finally, you need to poach four eggs and toast four pieces of German rye bread about ¾ of an inch thick. If you do not know how to poach eggs or make toast without a recipe, please DO NOT ATTEMPT TO MAKE EGGS BENEDICT XVI.

Put the toast on a plate, put the sauerbraten on the toast, put the egg on the sauerbraten and top it all off with the hollandaise sauce and a little bit of chopped parsley.

Yum, yum…

I am off to Fort Worth today, so someone else needs to pick up the slack and bash Florida today.

Later…

Posted by Yellow Dog     on 04/22/2005 at 08:25 AM   
Filed Under: • Fine-Dining • Religion •  
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Enviro-weenies Mull Their Future

On the 35th anniversary of Earth Day, Environmentalists debate the future of their movement.

SAN FRANCISCO Apr 22, 2005 — As the world marks the 35th anniversary of Earth Day on Friday, environmentalists are debating the future of a movement that seems to be losing the battle for public opinion.

Let’s see, you burn down houses, cars and businesses and wonder why you might be loosing the battle for public opinion.  Hmmmm. [scratching flea-infested head]

President Bush’s re-election, the failure to slow global warming and the large number of Americans who dismiss them as tree-hugging extremists have environmental leaders looking for new approaches.

Translation:

Some think it’s a message problem that environmental groups simply need to improve their communication with the voting public. Others are calling for more fundamental changes in how the groups operate.
The challenge goes beyond the environmental movement, said George Lakoff, a University of California, Berkeley linguistics professor who has written about how language colors political discourse.
Lakoff argues that the entire public agenda has been seized by what he calls a “right-wing ideological political movement that’s extremely powerful and well-funded.”

Bwaaaaa.  All your base are belong to us!

The Bush administration’s environmental philosophy has centered on the idea that most environmental decisions are better made by the marketplace, landowners and state and local governments.

Uhhhhhhh, yeah.  And?  Come on.  What else?

Many green leaders say they deserve some of the blame for the situation.

Bang! Zoom!  Outta the park!

Posted by Drew458     on 04/22/2005 at 07:55 AM   
Filed Under: • Environment •  
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No Joke

Okay, my jokes are lame huh?  Couldn’t just tell me, “Hey Steel ... your jokes suck”, noooo, ya had to snicker behind my back.  Okay, I can take a hint.  I don’t want Allan ‘whooping’ on anybody. Although, I’m sure that doesn’t involve endangered birds or a childhood disease, The Skipper has been under a lot of stress, and I don’t want to take any chances.  So, I am taking ‘joke lessons’ online. Ya know the only thing ya can’t get online these days is younger? Anyway ... here’s the first lesson.

Posted by The Skipper     on 04/22/2005 at 05:52 AM   
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   Thursday - April 21, 2005

John Paul II: Comedian

According to National Review‘s latest issue (April 25, 2005, Page 34), Pope John Paul II not only helped defeat Communism and rejuvenate the Catholic Church but he had quite a sense of humor. Here are two humorous anecdotes from John Paul II ....

Once someone asked John Paul II how many people worked in the Vatican. To which he replied, “about half”.

In one informal dinner at the Vatican an American asked John Paul II whether he knew what people in Poland were saying was his favorite joke. His eyes were quizzical at first and then he replied, “I was supposedly asked ‘What is the solution to the Polish crisis? There are thirty-nine parties in next month’s elections, including ‘the Beer Drinkers party’ and cynicism is rising’. To which I am supposed to have said: ‘There are only two solutions to the Polish crisis, the realistic solution and the miraculous solution. The realistic solution is: if the Lady of Czestochowa should suddenly appear, with Jesus and all the saints and solve the Polish crisis. The miraculous solution is: if the Poles learn to cooperate.’”

Ya gotta love it .... and the man. How many men could bear the burdens he bore for a quarter of a century, helped bring Communism to an end in Europe, steering the Church through American priests’ troubles with liberal concepts and pedophilia, increasing the Christian faith in South America and Africa .... and still maintain a sense of humor. The man was a saint.

Posted by The Skipper     on 04/21/2005 at 10:28 PM   
Filed Under: • Religion •  
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On The Road With The Skipper

Ouch! Ow! Sore! Hurt! Unh! Groan! Shit! Ugh! Ohmigawd! Aw Crap! Damn! Unnhhhhhhhh! Back Sore! Muscles Ache! Can’t Move! Hurt! Sore! Ouch! Ow! Damn!

That pretty much sums it up.

All my “shit” is now in the process of transforming back into “stuff” again. Movers unloaded today and disappeared off into the sunset. I just spent five hours after they left trying to convert “shit” into “stuff”. I think alchemy and converting lead into gold would be much easier. I’m back at the hotel now, aching all over and headed for a hot tub and a LOOOOOONNNNNGGGG soak. Back to work tomorrow at the office and then spend the weekend performing more alchemy on the “shit”.

• Laugh at Steel’s jokes or I will put a whooping on your head. Got that?
• Don’t harass Stan. He is doing a wonderful job. See above re: “whooping on your head”.
• Florida has become a self-parody. A new category has been created: “FLORI-DUH”. Deal with it.
• Barb (Annoying Little Twerp) is our mascot. Treat her with respect or be prepared to lose limbs.
• Frank and OCM can fend for themselves. Frank is too smart and OCM is too stoned.
• I will be back in full-swing by the end of next week. Maybe. I kinda like the job the “tempers” are doing.

Well, it turns out she went hunting for her last surviving relative and found her aunt in Indiana, whom she had never met. Unfortunately, her aunt had already been diagnosed with cancer and is expected to live only another few months. ED has gone to Indiana to be with her “auntie” and has been out of touch with almost everything for the last month.

She asks everyone to pray for her aunt who just completed her last radiation and chemo treatment and is now in a hospice. Time is running out. You know the drill, gang. Pray, even if you don’t believe in God. We’d do the same for you.

Posted by The Skipper     on 04/21/2005 at 08:10 PM   
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BATTER UP!!  BUT WHERE??

Howdy, baseball fans!

How many baseball games have you been to?

Can you remember what the parks looked like.......or was it a bad beer day?

Well, here’s your chance to see if you have a quasi photographic sober mind and are able to identify these 12 baseball parks.

Note:  Since this is a baseball bit, I might have thrown a “curve ball” or two!

BATTER UP!

OOOOOOOOOOOPS!

I lost the answer grid!  (I’ll look for it later.)
___________________________________________________________

********I obtained these photos from an incredible web site.
If you are a baseball fan, this web site is a must see.
They have a digital photo (download) of every baseball park in the country, from Major down to “A” and photos
of all the old National and American League Parks.

FOR YOUR PLEASURE VISIT DIGITAL BALL PARKS

Posted by 1IDVET     on 04/21/2005 at 05:38 PM   
Filed Under: • Miscellaneous •  
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Point that some other way, it might be loaded!

We have a jury mooning incident from the Alternate Universe of Florida.

A defendant who dropped his pants to “moon” a jury has been ruled mentally competent for retrial on charges he beat his girlfriend.

Cornell Jackson, 31, tried to persuade Circuit Judge Michael Overstreet that he was crazy and not faking mental illness at a hearing Tuesday but to no avail.

“I ain’t in my right mind,” Jackson insisted. He also told the judge: “I am going to the moon. The spirits are gonna take me to the moon.”

Posted by Yellow Dog     on 04/21/2005 at 04:30 PM   
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Not that very many people ever read this far down, but this blog was the creation of Allan Kelly and his friend Vilmar. Vilmar moved on to his own blog some time ago, and Allan ran this place alone until his sudden and unexpected death partway through 2006. We all miss him. A lot. Even though he is gone this site will always still be more than a little bit his. We who are left to carry on the BMEWS tradition owe him a great debt of gratitude, and we hope to be able to pay that back by following his last advice to us all:

1. Keep a firm grasp of Right and Wrong
2. Stay involved with government on every level and don't let those bastards get away with a thing
3. Use every legal means to defend yourself in the event of real internal trouble, and, most importantly:
4. Keep talking to each other, whether here or elsewhere

It's been a long strange trip without you Skipper, but thanks for pointing us in the right direction and giving us a swift kick in the behind to get us going. Keep lookin' down on us, will ya? Thanks.

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