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calendar   Tuesday - February 01, 2005

A Laff For Your Tuesday

A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial. It went like this:

Q. Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?
A. No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away.

Q. Officer, who provided this description?
A. The officer who responded to the scene.

Q. A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?
A. Yes sir, with my life.

Q. With your life? Let me ask you this then, officer—do you have a locker room in the police station - a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?
A. Yes sir, we do.

Q. And do you have a locker in that room?
A. Yes sir, I do.

Q. And do you have a lock on your locker?
A. Yes sir.

Q. Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, that you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with those same officers?
A. You see, sir, we share the building with a court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.

(thanks to Darrell)


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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 02/01/2005 at 06:45 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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Why Some Countries Can Never Progress

When you have your citizenry engaging in this type of activity is it any wonder progress can never be made pulling yourself out of “third world” status?


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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 02/01/2005 at 06:40 AM   
Filed Under: • Miscellaneous •  
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Those Crazy Norwewgians!

Remember Our Friend, Jan Egeland?

He, of “the US is stingy” fame re: the tsunami?

Well, Mr. Egeland’s country is home to a terrorist who attempted to buy “dirty bomb” components.

Yep, and he’s a Muslim, to boot!  Who’d-a thunk it?

Maybe Mr. Egeland needs to focus more on what his own country allows to happen within its borders.  Maybe its immigration policies need review, eh?

Yet let’s not be too hasty in leaving the subject of this idyllic worker’s socialistic paradise.

Even the kids are considered terrorists. At least that’s what a passer-by thought when he spotted this kid sitting in a car with a full-face mask on.

Those silly Norwegians!  What will they do next?


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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 02/01/2005 at 06:37 AM   
Filed Under: • Terrorists •  
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Narcissistic Bastards!

Hollywood is populated by a bunch of self-idolizing idiots.

It is the only conclusion I can draw from having read that they awarded a 30 year old actor a “LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD!!”

Yep!  DiCaprio got it.  What happens when he gets old?  Better yet, since he got one already can we just kill him now and get it over with?

To show how ridiculous these assfarts are, Jane Russell was beside herself with praise for DiCaprio’s quest of authenticity in preparing to play Howard Hughes.

What was it he did?

Spent a day with her.  ONE DAY!  And she’s about to orgasm over how wonderful that was and how prepared it made him.

These people are sick.

Hey!  God!!  You’re a bit overdue on that earthquake, aren’t you?

One more thing, God.  Remember, if you don’t destroy Hollywood soon you will owe Sodom and Gomorrah an apology.


One more thing:  don’t tell anyone in Hollywood this but apparently in England they suspect that cosmetic implants on lips and cheeks may cause humans a form of mad cow disease.

SHHHHHH!!  Don’t tell them!!  Now, to find a doctor who’d go there and offer the service for free!!  Then God would be off the hook for a while.


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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 02/01/2005 at 06:35 AM   
Filed Under: • Hollywood •  
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Wetbacks And Policy

The Mexican government is pissed off that Arizona passed Proposition 200 and is now threatening to take us to the World Court to block the law.

What fucking nerve!  This is our damned country and if we do not want wetbacks to get in illegally we should have the right to do so.  Hell, shoot the bastards, too!

Specifically they do not like the fact that the law:

denies most taxpayer benefits to illegal aliens and requires state workers to report applicants for such benefits who may not be eligible. It also requires anyone registering to vote in the state to show proof of citizenship and bring a government-issued ID to the polling place.

You know, that minuteman movement in April is beginning to look better and better.

This issue has incensed many Americans such that even Rush Limbaugh is taking up the torch and putting the President on notice.

Bravo, RUSH!!!

Hell, even the Wall St. Journal published a piece about what Rush is doing.  If you read any of these articles, read the piece from the WSJ.


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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 02/01/2005 at 06:34 AM   
Filed Under: • Miscellaneous •  
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Please God!!!  Let This Happen!!

We should be so lucky to have this happen---Howard Dean in charge of the DNC.  Especially after he just came out saying he hated Republicans!!

Goodbye, credibility.

Goodbye, moderate base.

Hello, lunacy.

Hello, moonbats and other way-far-left loonies.

YEEE-EEE-AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!


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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 02/01/2005 at 06:32 AM   
Filed Under: • Politics •  
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Kind, Loving, Peaceful?

Kind, Loving, Peaceful?

Surely you all can recall how the leftist, tree-hugging, self-flagellating apologists in this country would moan and cry about how EVIL the white man was, especially Columbus and those NASTY SPANISH guys when they conquered the peace-loving Indians......ooops, “indigenous peoples.”

The Spanish are blamed for robbing, looting, pillaging, raping, enslaving, introducing disease (on purpose--as if they even KNEW what diseases were back then) and otherwise decimating entire populations of Indians............oops, “indigenous peoples.”

They waste no time telling us how the world would be a better place if they were still around to teach us about peace, love, understanding, getting along with mother nature, living off the land instead of pillaging it for resources, etc. 

We are also told how we should be ashamed that we came here and took their lands by force using our guns and cannons against their sticks, stones, bows, arrows and spears.  Well, if they were so great as a civilization, why didn’t THEY have guns and cannons?

The answer to THAT question is easy.........these “indigenous people” were too busy being SAVAGES!!!!! They enslaved their own people.  They warred with one another. 

They engaged in ritual sacrifice.

Often. 

And with a great many victims.  Many of them children.  (GASP!!  OH, NO!  NOT CHILDREN!!) And what happened to these victims?  Glad you asked.  They:

“had their hearts cut out or were decapitated, shot full of arrows, clawed, sliced to death, stoned, crushed, skinned, buried alive or tossed from the tops of temples.”

NICE!!  PEACEFUL!! LOVING!!! IN TUNE WITH GAIA!!!

Oh, did I mention ritual cannibalism?

This is something these apologists do not want to accept.

Spanish diaries revealed these activities but the “intelligentsia” refused to accept it as truth.  Now they are finding out differently.  But still cast doubts as evidenced in this quote:

“It’s now a question of quantity,” said Lopez Lujan, who thinks the Spaniards - and Indian picture-book scribes working under their control - exaggerated the number of victims, claiming in one case that 80,400 people were sacrificed at a temple inauguration in 1487. We’re not finding anywhere near that . . . even if we added some zeroes.”

Deny it all you want, Pedro or Juan or whatever your name is out there in the revisionism land you all live in but a savage is a savage.

As for me, I am glad the Spanish came in and took care of things.  If not, we’d all either still be in Euro-weenie land or living in mud huts killing and skinning buffalo or lizards or chucking spears into fish.

Too bad so many of them settled in Mexico.  Now it looks like it is our turn to go in there and wipe THEM out!


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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 02/01/2005 at 06:26 AM   
Filed Under: • History •  
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Boys Just Wanna Be Boys

The politically correct crowd are shitting their collective panties because some students at VMI had a costume party and some of them dressed as Nazis, drag queens and starving Blacks.  OOOOOOH!!!!  Can’t have that, can we?

At what point do we stop with all this sensitivity bullshit?  We’ve now got people upset that kids dress as witches (it offends the wiccans.) Where will it stop?  No more dressing up as princesses because it offends those who can’t ever be a princess?  Or maybe no more pirates, either, as it advocates a violent lifestyle?  Maybe no more cowboys because the Indians are offended?

You tell me.


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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 02/01/2005 at 06:17 AM   
Filed Under: • Democrats-Liberals-Moonbat Leftists •  
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Kerry In The News

Fuckface is back in the news. 

Who’s surprised?

Not only is this fetid bag-of-shit bloviating about the war in Iraq, he can’t even come up with something good to say about the recent elections (which, need I remind you, was a resounding success given these people went to vote under the threat of death from terrorists.)

“(he) described the Iraqi elections as “significant” and “important” but said they should not be “over hyped. It is significant that there is a vote in Iraq, But ... no one in the United States should try to over hype this election.  This election is a sort of demarcation point, and what really counts now is the effort to have a legitimate political reconciliation. And it’s going to take a massive diplomatic effort and a much more significant outreach to the international community than this administration has been willing to engage in.  Absent that, we will not be successful in Iraq.”

OVER HYPED, you asshole? A country oppressed by a dictator for decades?  A country that’s not seen free elections for even more decades?  The only country in that part of the world which now mandates women be part of the government?

And Fuckface calls it hype?  Where the hell is a good sniper when you need one?  (OK, FBI, settle down, it’s a manner of speaking, OK?)

Fuckface is also trying to re-make his image.  Yesterday he was on Meet The Press and pundits are all orgasming over the fact that Tim Russert was “tough” on him.  Well, fuck them and FUCK TIM!  He should have asked these questions back in September and October.  But didn’t.  You smell the agenda, right?

Anyway, Fuckface is trying to act all gracious.  He also said he’d sign the Form 180 to release his medical records if everyone else will.  Russert never challenged him on that.  My retort would have been, “Well, Senator Fuckface, it is YOUR records people want to see because it is YOU who is running for office.  Not your accusers.”

But, no, Russert said nothing.

And to stop being accused of not having passed any meaningful legislation in 20 years as a Senator, Fuckface is now proposing health care for ALL children!!!!

And how will it be paid for?  Be repealing some of the President’s tax cuts.  The same tax revenue he wants to use to prop up social security.

What a nasty, piece of shit, asshole, cocksucking, worthless, brainless, idiot.  What the hell is wrong with the people in Massachusetts?  Their two senators are America hating, anti-war, socialists with one a murderer and the other never really showing up for work in 21 years.


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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 02/01/2005 at 06:07 AM   
Filed Under: •   
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