Sarah Palin will pry your Klondike bar from your cold dead fingers.

calendar   Tuesday - July 27, 2004

Caesar Speaks, Part II

All right. I confess.

I've been in Boston since Sunday. Unfortunately, I'm under a vile agreement not to post any comments until Saturday.

Be prepared. On Saturday, I will literally explode. Duck and cover, kids.

My bullshit meter is pegged and completely broken.

I will also have an important announcement to make. Stay tuned.

P.S. Michael Moore is an EXTREMEMLY FAT FUCK. I got as close as ten feet away. Too close. Way too f**king close.

Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 07/27/2004 at 06:04 PM   
Filed Under: • Democrats-Liberals-Moonbat Leftists •  
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I almost blew my gin and tonic out my nose when I read this.

FRANCE, yes, FRANCE, the home of the famous Surrender Monkeys, may finally have done something right!

They annulled their first homosexual marriage and the mayor that allowed it was suspended!

There may be hope yet!

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 07/27/2004 at 05:39 PM   
Filed Under: • Miscellaneous •  
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Can Voters For The Poodle Be Dangerous?

I got this from Neal Boortz's site and thought it was so good I just hijacked it over here.

On Friday he made a comment that got lots of folks riled up such that they are demanding his show be cancelled. But check out what he said and wonder for yourself how any bunch of people can be SO bloody stupid to make the associations they made. Then again, this from the same group that equate Bush with Hitler so the surprise factor SHOULD be low.

WELL ... THAT DAMNED SURE GOT THEM RILED UP! What got them riled up, you say? Me. Friday. Oh boy, you should see the email. Letters to sponsors, radio stations, the Democratic National Committee all pretty much demanding the same thing ... that I be cancelled/fired/executed.

So, why all the fuss? Because I said on Friday that I honestly couldn't make up my mind which group of people was more dangerous to the future of this country: (a) Islamic jihadist terrorists; or, (b) people who intended to vote for The Poodle for president.

It seems that some of the more strident complainers were convinced that I had compared Kerry voters to Islamic terrorists. This quality of thought is pretty much what you would expect from someone who would cast a Democratic ballot, but for those of you who did manage the incredible feat of graduating from a government school .. let's put that to rest. You can die if someone fires an apple at your head at 150 miles per hour. You can also die if someone drops a Volkswagen on you. Either the apple or the VW can be dangerous, but that does not mean that apples and VWs are alike. Ergo ... saying that both Kerry voters and Islamic terrorist can be dangerous is not necessarily comparing one to the other. I know that's a bit tough for you government school grads, but if you read this paragraph a few times I'm sure you'll get the idea.
Now ... let's deal with the question of whether or not I was out of line suggesting that Kerry voters, as a group, could possibly be as or more dangerous to this country as, say, whatever remains of al Qaeda.

First question: Can voters actually be dangerous? That's a hanging curve ball. Hitler was elected in Germany. Nuff said.

So ... second question. Can Kerry voters be dangerous. Well now that would be a matter of opinion, wouldn't it? My opinion is that they very well can be, especially if there are enough of them out there to actually put Mr. Paper Cut Purple Heart into the White House with his trial lawyer pal. I consider Kerry to be dangerous to the future of our Republic, to freedom and to economic liberty. You may disagree. So be it. Consider, though, my reasoning. Here's a brief list of the threats Kerry poses to our country, not necessarily in the order of their severity.

1. Kerry is soft on sovereignty. As Boston Herald columnist Cosmo Macero says: "Never has the dilution of U.S. Sovereignty been so boldly forecast." This is a man who said that the United States should not deploy troops overseas without the "permission" of the United Nations. He made no exceptions. He stated it as a hard and fast rule. Do we want a president who seeks the permission of the United Nations before he can act in what he believes to be the best interests of the United States? Oh .. to be sure, Kerry wouldn't dare make this statement today. He's running for office! Tell me ... just when do you think a person speaks his true mind? Hint: It's not when he's in the middle of the campaign. Remember ... Kerry has instructed Democrats to hold back on their anti-war statements during the convention. He knows that many of the voters he wants to convince approve of the liberation of Iraq. He also knows that most of the voters don't think the UN should have veto power over US military deployments. Believe him now at your peril.

2. Kerry is an appeaser. Kerry knows that many of the principal members of the European Union want to build the strength of that body on the declining weakness of America. The leaders of these countries are quite upset over George Bush's show of strength in the Middle East. They knew the threat was there, but it was a threat they didn't have the courage to face. The US did. The US is showing strength, Europe is showing weakness. Naturally this is going to breed bitterness toward our country. Kerry wants to address and moderate this bitterness by weakening America through a policy of appeasement.

3. Kerry is a tax-and-spend liberal. Just recently Microsoft announced that it was going to distribute $32 billion ... that's with a "B" ... in Microsoft cash to shareholders via a dividend. Give The Poodle his way and the dividend, which has already been taxed by the Imperial Federal Government, will be taxed again when it reaches the shareholder. How nice. Kerry's spending plans, if enacted, would essentially double the size of the federal government. Virtually every economist out there not working for the government credits Bush's tax cuts with our economic turnaround. Raising taxes is a good way to stop our economy in its tracks.

4. Kerry sends a message of weakness. Islamic terrorists are emboldened when they believe their enemies to be weak. Disagree if you wish, but there's a school of thought out there which believes that the election of John Kerry would send a signal to the wonderful world of Islamic terrorism that America is once again ripe for an attack. I attend that school. How many Americans will die when Kerry brings us the era of appeasement?

5. Kerry sends a message of government dependency. Whatever you need, the government is there to provide it for you. Kerry is pressing the concept of health care as a right. This means that the person in need of health care would have, under a Kerry regime, an enforceable right to a portion of the life of some health care provider somewhere. If health care is a right, what else? The right to a home? The right to a job?

I've said it before, but here we go again for the record. We're in the middle of World War IV. Bin Laden has pledged to kill as many Americans as he can. He has even set a goal of four million. Will you be one of those? How about a member of your family? The Democrats are going to nominate a man who was opposed to removing Saddam Hussein from Kuwait. A man who voted for the Iraq war, and then voted to deny the funding our troops needed to pursue that action. The Democrats are nominating a man who believes that the United Nations should have veto power over American military moves. A man who would weaken the American economy through ratification of the Kyoto Treaty and the imposition of tax increases on the very people who are now powering our economic revival.

Kerry is dangerous. Anyone who would put him in power is dangerous. Islamic jihadists are dangerous. The question as to which group presents a greater threat to our Republic, to our freedoms and economic liberty is a valid one. I suspect that some Kerry voters are just a wee bit uncomfortable with the possible consequences of their actions

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 07/27/2004 at 05:31 PM   
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From the Mouthes of Spouses

These are bound to hit the fan in conservative circles.

The wife of the democratic governor of Iowa stated in a speech that:
``I am fascinated at the way some African-Americans speak to each other in an English I struggle to understand, then switch to standard English when the situation requires''

Cries will be heard throughout the land that she is insensitive to the plights of Blacks. Conservatives will vilify her by saying that if it had been them to utter that quote their heads would be on media pikes throughout the land.

Remember that Bill Cosby said basically the same thing a couple of weeks ago and conservatives were praising him to high heaven.

Is this the sort of conundrum where, if we criticize her it'll be strictly partisan as we agree with her premise? Or do we engage in attack-dog measures because that's how we'd have been treated by Dems, the media, and Blacks themselves?

Then The Poodle's mistress is quoted back from 1975 as saying "I don't trust Ted Kennedy" and that Democrats are "putrid."

29 years ago she was a Republican.

What say you, readers? Think hard on these before you respond.

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 07/27/2004 at 07:22 AM   
Filed Under: • Democrats-Liberals-Moonbat Leftists •  
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Leno’s Liners

From Newsmax.

--- And the day after the 9/11 report came out saying we do not have the luxury of time, Congress has left for a 6 week vacation. Great timing, guys! And you wonder what the problem is.

--- Leave it to Congress to make George W. Bush look like a workaholic!

---Sandy Berger hasn’t read it either, but he’s does have a copy in his pants.

---Do you know about this? Sandy Berger who was President Clinton’s National Security Advisor and also an advisor to Senator Kerry is now under criminal investigation for putting classified documents into his pants and sneaking them out of the national archives. Well, thank God his pants never fell into enemy hands.

---In "ESPN” magazine, John Kerry said he’s learned a lot about life from playing sports. He had to fight! Yeah like so many other kids in impoverished areas who turn to polo as a way out.

---The Kerry Campaign said that Kerry will show his "softer” side for the convention. We’ve already seen him and John Edwards fondling each other. How much softer than that can you get? What’s next? The two of them spooning now?

---During the Democratic Convention in Boston next week, Bill Clinton is scheduled to host a policy briefing at the Wang Theater. Oh there's a good idea. The Democrats are putting Clinton in the Wang Theater. Don’t they see where this is leading too? The Democrats are putting Clinton in the Wang Theater! That's like the Republicans putting Arnold Schwarzenegger in a Hooters restaurant.

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 07/27/2004 at 07:14 AM   
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In this post I commented how the left idolizes their heroes no matter what crimes they commit nor what lack of morals or ethics they possess.

One of the people mentioned was Clinton's AIDS czar who got suspended for possession of a controlled substance. His name is R. Scott Hitt. He goes by Scott. Guess what? There is more. The drug charge was from two months ago. Now he's voluntarily turned in his license after having been nailed for abusing and fondling his patients.

And...OBTW......this guy? S.Hitt? He's a homosexual doctor in the land of Californication.

Let's see now. A Clinton appointee. Criminal mischief. Homosexual. Morally corrupt. Ethically challenged.

Gee! What a surprise!

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 07/27/2004 at 07:09 AM   
Filed Under: • Democrats-Liberals-Moonbat Leftists •  
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This says it all

Thanks, Laurie!


Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 07/27/2004 at 06:54 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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Weird News

Just what we need. A car capable of showing emotion. A car:
"with an antenna that wags, an adjustable body height, headlights that vary in intensity, and hood slits and ornamentation designed to look like eyebrows, eyelids and tears, all of which could glow with colored lights to create moods and physical features."

And to what end? According to the inventors, so that driving can be "more entertaining."


Entertaining? I thought driving was supposed to be taken seriously? Isn't it bad enough we have to deal with stupid maroons putting on makeup? Or eating breakfast? Or talking on the phone? Or taking their eyes off the road to punch in phone numbers so they can tell their spouses they just left the driveway and are headed down the street? Or reading newspapers? Or managing screaming kids in the backseat? Or all the above simultaneously? Now you're having them fiddle with knobs and switches to wink, blink, display "rolling" teardrops, raise or lower actual car body, etc? What are these assholes thinking?

A dentist has you sit in his chair, prepares you for dental work and then injects his semen into your mouth via a syringe.

You'll love this----a psychiatrist say he DOES NOT have "a psychiatric illness or an interest in deviant sex."

It gets worse. Thus same psychiatrist thinks this moonbat asshole can continue to practice:
"with a reasonable degree of safety to his patients" if he gets psychological counseling about appropriate boundaries "as far as the joking with sexual undertones, being too friendly and familiar with people."

Further, this psychiatrist thinks:
"he should have a mandatory chaperone, that his therapist should make regular reports to the board, that his staff should monitor his behavior and that he should take a lie-detector test every six months."

For what? So that after parole he can continue to do this to unsuspecting patients? What if the SOB is HIV positive? What about his patients then? Or is that what it will take to consider him to be deviant?

I believe it is time his victims, armed with baseball bats, get a chance to meet him behind a barn somewhere. Afterwards they can participate in this study.

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 07/27/2004 at 06:46 AM   
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Daily Dose

Quote of the Day

To be conservative at 20 is heartless and to be a liberal at 60 is plain idiocy. Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965)

On This Day in History

1923 Dillinger joins the Navy in an attempt to avoid prosecution
John Herbert Dillinger joins the Navy in order to avoid charges of auto theft in Indiana, marking the beginning of America's most notorious criminal's downfall. Years later, Dillinger's reputation was forged in a single 12-month period, during which he robbed more banks than Jesse James did in 15 years and became the most wanted fugitive in the nation.
Dillinger didn't last in the Navy very long. Within months he had gone AWOL several times-the last time in December 1923. Making his way back to Indiana, he was arrested for armed robbery the following summer. Dillinger pled guilty, thinking that he would receive a light sentence, but instead got 10 to 20 years. His first words to the warden at the prison were, "I won't cause you any trouble except to escape." A man of his word, Dillinger had attempted to escape three times by the end of the year.

Ironically, his eventual arrest was the result of pure luck. While hiding out in Tucson, Arizona, Dillinger was caught in a fire that broke out in his hotel. Firefighters became suspicious when two gang members offered them a large sum of money to save two heavy suitcases. When they found a small arsenal of guns inside, everyone was taken into custody.

Dillinger was extradited to Indiana and held in what was believed to be an escape-proof jail, with extra guards posted to protect against outside attacks. But on March 3, 1934, Dillinger used a fake pistol that he had carved out of wood and painted black to escape. For the next several months, Dillinger and his gang went on a bank-robbing spree with the FBI one step behind at all times. J. Edgar Hoover, the director of the FBI, reportedly put out an order that agents should shoot Dillinger on sight. An illegal immigrant named Anna Sage offered to set the outlaw up if deportation proceedings against her were dropped. On July 22, 1934, detective Martin Zarkovich shot a man identified by the FBI as Dillinger as was leaving the Biograph Theater in Chicago, Illinois.

Some historians believe that the man killed that day was not Dillinger, but Jimmy Lawrence. They think that Dillinger engineered the setup to drop out of sight. If so, he was successful-no further record of Dillinger exists.

1940 Bugs Bunny's debut
On this day in 1940, Bugs Bunny first appears on the silver screen in "A Wild Hare." The wisecracking rabbit had evolved through several earlier short films. As in many future installments of Bugs Bunny cartoons, "A Wild Hare" featured Bugs as the would-be dinner for frustrated hunter Elmer Fudd.

Cartoon animation first appeared in 1908 in France, followed quickly by American cartoons. In 1909, a newspaper cartoon artist named Winsor McCay created Gertie the Dinosaur, the first animated character to appear regularly on the screen. In 1918, McCay produced The Sinking of the Lusitania, the first feature-length cartoon. A variety of recurring cartoons developed by the late teens and early '20s, and these characters became more popular after the development of sound pictures in the late 1920s. Walt Disney introduced the Silly Symphonies cartoons and created Mickey Mouse and his gang. By the mid-1930s, Disney was making feature-length musical cartoons like "Sleeping Beauty."

Under the direction of animation director Tex Avery, Warner Bros. developed its own set of cartoon stars, including Bugs, Elmer, Tweety, Daffy Duck, Porky Pig, and many others. Bugs was animated by Chuck Jones, and his famous accent came from legendary voice man Mel Blanc. Blanc started with Warner Bros. in 1937, creating the voices (or sounds) for Bugs, Road Runner, Sylvester, and Tweety Bird, among other characters.

Today's Birthdays

1789 Congress establishes Dept of Foreign Affairs (State dept)
1866 Atlantic telegraph cable successfully laid (1,686 miles long)
1944 1st British jet fighter used in combat (Gloster Meteor)
1948 Peggy Fleming, ice figure skater (Olympic-gold-1968)

1949 Havilland Comet 40-passenger airliner makes maiden flight
1953 Armistice signed ending Korean War
2003 Lance Armstrong won his fifth straight Tour de France, tying Miguel Indurain's record.
2003 Comedian Bob Hope died in his home, at the age of 100.

Thanks to The Quotations Page Famous Birthdays Snopes

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 07/27/2004 at 06:13 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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calendar   Monday - July 26, 2004

Caesar Speaks

Our Imperial Bat Catcher is doing a fine job ranting and managing the blog in the absence of our Imperial person. However, he has gone slightly unhinged with the extra power with which he has temporarily been given. Pay no attention to any posts pertaining to myself. Vilmar will be dealt with upon my return. I promise not to hurt him too badly since he has been a good and loyal troop until my recent absence.

In the meantime, encourage him to "stay on message". I've just had to endure speeches by Al Gore, Jimmy Carter, Hillary Clinton and Slick Willie Clinton himself. Right now, Caesar is very tired and nauseated. And grumpy. I encourage Vilmar to retain sanity at all costs. Carrying the blog alone is a heavy burden but I would gladly swap places with him. I am here in "The Belly Of The Beast", lurking in the shadows, my life in danger every moment.

Memo to Dottie: no, I am not in Boston .. but if I were I would have to lie about it because I would have to obtain credentials to the convention by cutting a deal with a liberal blogger whom I dislike and who hates my guts, and I would have to promise not to write anything on the blog until after the convention .... and I could never do that, could I?

Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 07/26/2004 at 11:40 PM   
Filed Under: • Miscellaneous •  
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We Should Do This

Isn't it time we start employing these steps the Saudis allegedly are taking?

In an effort to round up suspected terrorists, the Saudis have taken the wife and three children of Al-Awfi, the leader of Al Qaeda in Saudi Arabia.

You know, that's just a great idea! If he refuses, they should start by killing the wife, then the kids, one by one. Hell, if left to grow up they will only turn out like their fucktard father.

Sorry, I have grown cold and heartless when it comes to these dirtbags and since the only thing they understand is brute force, then it should be dished out to them in equal measure.

So................anyone got a heavy, dull-bladed sword?

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 07/26/2004 at 01:55 PM   
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New Psychiatric Study

A study conducted by the Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of male face a woman finds attractive can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.

For instance, if she is ovulating she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features.

However, if she is menstruating, or menopausal, she is more prone to be attracted to a man with scissors lodged in his temple and a bat jammed up his ass while he is on fire.

Further studies are expected.

(not sure why but, thanks, Joanny!)

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 07/26/2004 at 01:37 PM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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Stabbed In The Back

(sigh) They say that "power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely". This is especially true of Benevolent Dictators. They tend to forget that they are only the figurehead. Their job is to rant and rave, to project the political image of the BMEWS.

The troops down in the trenches (c'est moi) are the ones who build blog sites, configure stylesheets, manage mail lists, update polls, fight off spammers, handle advertising & promotions, maintain key contacts within the blogosphere, etc., etc.

Our Benevolent Dictator (Villymar) has decided to conduct a libelous campaign against the BMEWS Propaganda Minister who is as fine a human being as you would ever care to meet (not to mention very handsome and highly intelligent - as opposed to the Benevolent Dictator who only bathes once a month and whose IQ wouldn't even come close to a decent earthquake on the Richter scale).

In accordance with the above, The BMEWS Propaganda Minister has issued the following proclamation:

1- Due to the recently disclosed fact that Villymar is actually a "closet Democrat" in disguise (and even worse, with liberal tendencies), he has been demoted to BMEWS Bat Catcher.

2- The Imperial Propaganda Minister (c'est moi) has been promoted to position of "Caesar" in honor of his unflagging support of President Bush and the Conservative cause.

3- The NY Yanquis are hereby cursed with the "Curse Of The Moonbat". They will not be allowed to win another World Series until the next century and they will be the Boston Red Sox' bitch from now on.

4- Before Villymar is allowed to crawl out of his spider-hole, he must write "I LOVE THE CUBS" 1000 times on the blackboard.

5- All Cubs fans are hereby declared "Honorary Citizen Soldiers" of the BMEWS. Cardinal fans are on probation. Yanqui fans are outlawed.

So it is written, so let it be done!

By order of Caesar

Now, I must mount my chariot and return to Cancun Baghdad Teheran Riyadh Paris Boston Ft. Meade Langley Cheyenne Mtn. Vandenberg AFB .... aw fuggit, I'm at a secret undisclosed location. That's all I can tell you.

The BMEWS Bat Catcher had better be on his toes from now on. Ashcroft and Runsfeld have allocated resources to me to keep an eye on him. He will be advised to concentrate on Moonbats or Caesar will throw him to the lions.

Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 07/26/2004 at 12:58 PM   
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Allan Rejoins the Fold

Damn Yankee Fans! Damn them all to hell! Especially the ones who sneak up behind your back and spout drivel about the suckiest team in baseball. Especially when you're supposed to be enjoying life here by the pool in Cancun.

I think I'll call Juan over and have him bring me another pina colada while I contemplate a suitable punishment for Vilmar after I return and stage the palace coup. Deepest, darkest dungeon sounds like a good start .... hmmmmm .....

Mwah-hah-ha-ha-ha-ha ......

We're sorry for any confusion caused by this posting. Our Minister of Propaganda is on the road pursuing moonbats and other terrorists (to tell you anything else I'd have to imbed deadly code into this post that would kill you as soon as you read it.)

Suffice it to say he was stressed out yesterday. He had a few too many after having bagged a large quantity of moonbats and forgot the heartfelt conversation he had with me prior to his departure and how it saddened him that he left without telling his audience of his deep loathing and disrespect for the Cubcakes baseball team.

As repentance he's asked me to attempt to make amends and begs your forgiveness for his crass conduct. He was so choked up all he could send me to relay to you were these iconographic images:


Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 07/26/2004 at 09:45 AM   
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Not that very many people ever read this far down, but this blog was the creation of Allan Kelly and his friend Vilmar. Vilmar moved on to his own blog some time ago, and Allan ran this place alone until his sudden and unexpected death partway through 2006. We all miss him. A lot. Even though he is gone this site will always still be more than a little bit his. We who are left to carry on the BMEWS tradition owe him a great debt of gratitude, and we hope to be able to pay that back by following his last advice to us all:
  1. Keep a firm grasp of Right and Wrong
  2. Stay involved with government on every level and don't let those bastards get away with a thing
  3. Use every legal means to defend yourself in the event of real internal trouble, and, most importantly:
  4. Keep talking to each other, whether here or elsewhere
It's been a long strange trip without you Skipper, but thanks for pointing us in the right direction and giving us a swift kick in the behind to get us going. Keep lookin' down on us, will ya? Thanks.


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GNU Terry Pratchett

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