Tuesday - September 07, 2004
FOUND ONE!!!!!!!
As you recall, Fuckface is running a campaign that focuses on Vietnam. We really did not want to go there but since he insisted, we played his silly game and are currently cleaning his clock with it.
What did we WANT him to do? Run a campaign that focused on what he did for 19 years as a Senator.
But The Poodle would not go there because the son of a bitch had nothing to show for it. No major bills he wrote. Nothing of special significance he co-sponsored.
BUT HOLD THE PRESSES!!!!! We found one!!!
Fuckface CO-sponsored Senate Bill 1431 last year. YAAY! He DID something!! Hmmm, “what was it, you ask?”
The Assault Weapons Ban and Law Enforcement Protection Act of 2003
Hold on a minute, though. Looks like the “Gang That Couldn’t Shoot Straight” is about to shoot itself in the foot!
The Poodle was recently given a rifle which, had his bill passed, he’d not be able to accept.
So not only is he ineffectual at getting legislation passed, he also waffles by accepting that which he’d have banned. Does the man have ANY principles? Any scruples? Anything he stands for more than 24 hours? Obviously not.
That’s not all though. Inquiring minds want to know how legal that transaction was. After all, did he complete any of the required paperwork to transfer it to his name? You bet your ass if YOU had accepted it you’d be sitting in jail right now for doing so--especially if you were from out of state---like Fuckface.
Just another example of why this verminous specimen of humanity is not to be trusted with the nuclear trigger.
And one more thing. Fuckface said this:
“I thank you for the gift, but I can’t take it to the debate with me,” Kerry told a cheering crowd as he held up the device.”
Ask yourself this: just what did he mean by that? Was he alluding to its possible use to assassinate the President? And exactly how quiet would you have expected from the compliant, lap-dog press to be had President Bush said that about taking it to the debate with Fuckface?
Are you angry yet?
The Real Downside Of Global Warming
Global warming (if it realy exists, rather than a purely planetary cyclic event) can cause real problems. You already know about flooding, tidal waves, etc. from the (really bad) movie ”Day After Tomorrow”. But it turns out there is an even uglier side to this phenomena: dead bodies thawing out and showing up in the foothills of your favorite glacier.
The folks in India recently found the bodies of four tourists, who had been lost for two decades, had melted their way to the top of one of their glaciers.
Even worse than ”Return Of The Living Dead” is .... ”Return Of The Dead Swedish Tourist”. Ugh!
We’re keeping an eye on the glaciers in North America. You never know when Jimmy Hoffa might decide to “re-surface”. Never fear. Geraldo is poised to cover it, though.
Mad Mullahs = Hitler All OVer Again
Read this and tell me if you think these people are rational ....
TEHRAN (Reuters) - Iran have given judo world champion Arash Miresmaeili a $125,000 reward, saying he sacrificed a gold medal at the Athens Olympics by refusing to fight an Israeli, a sports official says.
State television showed Miresmaeili at an award ceremony receiving the same sum as Iranian Hossein Rezazadeh, who took the super-heavyweight weightlifting gold at the second Olympics in succession.
“He would definitely have won a gold medal if he had taken part,” the sports official, who declined to be named, said on Tuesday.
“By refusing to fight, Miresmaeili followed the policies of the country,” the official added.
Get paid $125,000 just for refusing to fight a Jew at the Olympics? I’m telling you folks, the country of Iran and the Mad Mullahs are the reincarnation of Hitler and the Nazis with their racist policies. Yet the world, especially Europe, stands by and lets them get away with it. Does anyone out there remember the 1936 Olympics in Berlin and the racist Nazi propaganda? Does the overall picture sound just like 1939 all over again? It sure does to me. Europe sits by the sidelines and practices appeasement while the enemies of mankind, peace and civilization build up their power in preparation for all-out war. It’s coming. Trust me. Why else do you think the Mad Mullahs are so desperate to build nuclear weapons?
When will the world wake up and realize we have a cancer in our midst .. called Islam. Yes, I’m condemning the entire bunch because I haven’t heard a peep out of the so-called “good Muslims” denouncing these racist policiies on the part of several Arab states. You good people better stock up on ammunition. I guarantee you we’ll be at war with these madmen within ten years .. maybe less. Don’t say I didn’t tell you so.
By the way, if the insane looney Left in America somehow manages to get John Kerry elected in November .... you can revise my prediction somewhat. We’ll be at war within TWO years .. or less. Remember, you heard it here first.
A Natural Selection “Four Bagger”
Just caught this from Drudge.....
Students are having a field day killing themselves, it seems. Four stories of four suicides.
You gotta wonder about the weakness and frail make-up of today’s youth who can’t take “adversity.” They can’t seem to handle reality. Is it a product of too much TV where all problems are fixed in 20 minutes? Is it a dependence on drugs to make them feel better? Is it a function of parents who don’t pay attention to warning signs? Or is it just a genetic frailty that needs purging?
Something is going on to cause this and as cold as it may sound, their own actions to take themselves out of the gene pool is a good thing for humanity. We really do not need these people to pro-create and pass on their weak genes. Call me a cruel, heartless bastard but if these kids can’t handle the stress of being a student or the trappings associated with young adulthood, I shudder to think what would happen if they got into the workforce or, God forbid, started having kids.
I’ve had to deal with people like this in the military and while working in Antarctica. People who were so insecure about everything. People who cracked under the tiniest amount of stress. People who were so clingy you thought they had become your newest shirt. People forever running to “counselors” because they couldn’t handle reality. They drained the efficiency, productivity and life out of a group. They were always calling in sick under some pretense or another. Everyone else had to cover for them as they sought medical “help.” It took its own toll on co-workers. Some of these were the sort of people that, in a REAL emergency, you’d probably either have to cold-cock or kill outright in order to assure the survival of the others.
Yep, it’s gonna suck for their family and friends but I am still convinced I am right.....and the Spartans were, too, long, long ago.
The first victim? Female.
The second victim? Female.
The third victim? Female.
The fourth victim? Female.
So what’s up, ladies? Where’s the “I am woman, hear me roar” stuff?
Help me understand. Believe it or not I DO feel for those who have had a family member or friend commit suicide. I have two friends who have gone through this. One lost her brother and the other lost a close friend (who also happened to be a co-worker of mine.)
But I stand by my above stated beliefs.
on 09/07/2004 at 05:57 AM
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Tuesday Laffs
From Leno.......last Friday
---Last night John Kerry held a midnight rally in Ohio right after the Republican Convention...John Kerry giving a speech at midnight - how hard was it to stay awake at that?
---Today John Kerry campaigned in 3 states. Anger, denial, and indecision.
---The response to Dick Cheney’s speech was given by John Edwards. You see that, proving once again, wherever there’s a guy in an ambulance, a trial lawyer can’t be far behind.
---There’s the difference between the Democratic and the Republican Convention. You know you’re at the Republican Convention when the largest breasts in the room belong to Michael Moore.
---Earlier in the day, yesterday, President Bush was also in Queens, New York. I think this is where President Bush gets a little confused. Like he told the residents of Queens that while he respects their lifestyle, he’s still against them getting married.
---They said the problem with President Clinton, what was happening was not enough blood was getting to his heart. Gee, I wonder where it was going?
---Anyway, they’re going to bypass his heart. So this could turn him into a Republican.
---You know what’s sad? Clinton was supposed to go on a tour of upstate New York this weekend with Hillary, now he has to spend it in bed with a bunch of nurses around. Ruined his weekend.
Daily Dose 07-Sep-2004
Quote Of The Day
“Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.”
-- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
On This Day In History
September 7, 1776 - World’s First Submarine Attack
During the Revolutionary War, the American submersible craft Turtle attempts to attach a time bomb to the hull of British Admiral Richard Howe’s flagship Eagle in New York Harbor. It was the first use of a submarine in warfare. Submarines were first built by Dutch inventor Cornelius van Drebel in the early 17th century, but it was 150 years later before they were first used in naval combat. David Bushnell, an American inventor, began building underwater mines while a student at Yale University. Deciding that a submarine would be the best means of delivering his mines in warfare, he built an eight-foot-long wooden submersible that was christened the Turtle for its shape. Large enough to accommodate one operator, the submarine was entirely hand-powered. Lead ballast kept the craft balanced. Donated to the Patriot cause after the outbreak of war with Britain in 1775, Ezra Lee piloted the craft unnoticed out to the 64-gun HMS Eagle in New York Harbor on September 7, 1776. As Lee worked to anchor a time bomb to the hull, he could see British seamen on the deck above, but they failed to notice the strange craft below the surface. Lee had almost secured the bomb when his boring tools failed to penetrate a layer of iron sheathing. He retreated, and the bomb exploded nearby, causing no harm to either the Eagle or the Turtle. During the next week, the Turtle made several more attempts to sink British ships on the Hudson River, but each time it failed, owing to the operator’s lack of skill. Only Bushnell was capable of executing the submarine’s complicated functions, but because of his physical frailty he was unable to pilot the Turtle in any of its combat missions. During the Battle of Fort Lee, the Turtle was lost when the American sloop transporting it was sunk by the British. Despite the failures of the Turtle, General George Washington gave Bushnell a commission as an army engineer, and the drifting mines he constructed destroyed the British frigate Cereberus and wreaked havoc against other British ships. After the war, he became commander of the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers stationed at West Point.
September 7, 1876 - The Northfield Minnesota Bank Robbery
Attempting a bold daytime robbery of the Northfield Minnesota bank, the James-Younger gang suddenly finds itself surrounded by angry townspeople and is nearly wiped out on this day in 1876. The bandits began with a diversion: five of the men galloped through the center of town, hollering and shooting their pistols in the air. As the townspeople ran for cover, three other men wearing wide-brimmed hats and long dusters took advantage of the distraction to walk unnoticed into the First National Bank. Brandishing pistols, one of the men ordered the bank cashier to open the bank safe. Though the cashier recognized the famous face of the dangerous outlaw, Jesse James, he stalled, claiming that the safe had a time lock and could not be opened. As Jesse James considered his next move, a brave--or foolish--bank teller made a break for the back door. One of the robbers fired twice, hitting the teller in the shoulder, but the man managed to stumble to safety and sound the alarm. The citizens of Northfield ran to surround the bank and mercilessly shot down the robbers as they tried to escape. A 19-year-old medical student killed one gang member, Clell Miller, while the owner of the Northfield hardware store mortally wounded Bill Chadwell, peppering his body with bullets from a rapid-firing Remington repeater rifle. Jesse’s brother, Frank, was hit in the leg, while their criminal partners-Jim, Cole, and Bob Younger-were also badly wounded. Jesse was the last one out of the bank. After pausing briefly to shoot the uncooperative cashier in the head, Jesse leapt onto his horse and joined the rest of the survivors as they desperately fled town. For the next two weeks a posse pursued them relentlessly, eventually killing or capturing four more of the gang members. Luckily for Frank and Jesse James, the two brothers had decided to go their own way, escaping to Dakota Territory. After things had cooled down, they went to Nashville, Tennessee, where they started rebuilding their gang and planning new robberies.
Today’s Birthdays
Elizabeth I, (1533–1603), Queen of England (1558–1603)
Grandma Moses, (Anna Mary Robertson Moses), (1860–1961), American painter
Elia Kazan, (1909-2003), Director, producer, writer, actor
Buddy Holly, (Charles Hardin Holley), (1936-1959), Rock and roll singer, guitarist
Thanks to The Quotations Page - The History Channel - The Biography Channel.
Monday - September 06, 2004
The Arrogant, Fat, Bloviated Bastard Goes Overboard
Michael Moore has decided not to submit “F-9/11” for Best Documentary at next year’s Oscars. This arrogant pig is instead going to submit the piece of sleaze on celluloid for BEST PICTURE. Can you believe the egotistical arrogance of this human jackal? Then again, the “picture” was more fiction than fact anyway. In fact, there was almost no fact in it. OK, let the Hollyweirdos vote on it. It’s for sure they’ll never give Best Picture to “Passion Of The Christ”. But hey, that’s Hollywood for you .. a modern day Babylon.
“For me the real Oscar would be Bush’s defeat on Nov. 2,” Moore told The Associated Press during a phone interview Monday from New York.
The $6 million film has become a sensation that collected $117.3 million in the United States this summer, despite an early roadblock when the Walt Disney Co. banned its Miramax Films division from distributing the political hot-potato.
In the midst of the presidential campaign, Moore’s announcement is a strategic move for his Oscar campaign. Documentaries and animated films have their own categories, but the conventional wisdom in Hollywood is that those niche awards can limit a film’s appeal in the overall best picture class.
Moore said he and his producing partner, Harvey Weinstein, agreed “Fahrenheit 9/11” would stand a better chance if they focused solely on the top Oscar.
I am simply amazed at this ignorant porker’s stupidity. If abortion would keep dipshits like this from growing up, I’d almost be for it. Almost.
Trolls Begone
From The Desk Of The BMEWS Secretary Of War
Is it just me or has anyone else noticed the distinct absence of trolls on the site recently?
And what happened to all the spam inserted into our comments for viagra?
We know you’re out there reading us. We’re still seeing nearly 1,000 unique visitors per day.
Our new Expression Engine blog software has certainly made my job easier.
Memo to trolls: Ain’t it sad knowing you can’t hide behind fake e-mail addresses and spoofed IP addresses any more?
Memo to our loyal readers: If you’re going to host a blog, I have to recommend two fine products. First, get a good blogging software package. You can’t do better than pMachine’s Expression Engine. It’s a little pricey but you can’t beat it for features. The list is endless and most importantly, you can filter out spam and trolls. Second, get a good hosting provider. I recommend Hosting Matters. The fine folks at HM provide 100%, world-class, Grade-A service and support and they run your blog on powerful servers that can handle the most demanding loads. Their pricing schedule is incredibly reasonable too. They provide hosting solutions from small one-person web sites to large business portals. If you’re gonna do it, get the right people to help you. Between pMachine and Hosting Matters, you can’t go wrong.
News Bytes 06-Sep-2004
John Kerry today slammed President Bush, calling the situation in Iraq, “The wong war in the wrong place at the wrong time”. The Senator went on to say he’d bring troops home within four years.
President Bush replied back that Senator Kerry is the “wrong waffle in the wrong party in the wrong universe”. Bush went on to describe Kerry’s various positions .... more than there are in the Kama Sutra. Indeed.
Meanwhile, the Russians started mourning the deaths of over 350 children and teachers who were murdered in the most recent “peaceful” protest by members of “The Religion Of Peace”. Their children were in the wrong school at the wrong time with the wrong Muslims.
In New York, Bill Clinton is recovering from a successful quadruple bypass. I wish him a speedy recovery so he can go home to Hillary .. who is the wrong woman in the wrong country with the wrong goals. Bill, I feel your pain.
In Red China, the country’s leaders have decided to crack down on pornography. If your site has 250,000 visitors and you have nekkid women on it, you can get life in prison. And the Democrats think John Ashcroft is harsh? The Red Chinese are suddenly attacking the wrong nekkid people in the wrong internet in the wrong century.
In a related story, half of all internet e-mail in Red China is spam. Spam .. nekkid commisars? I ain’t touching that one with a ten foot chopstick. It’s the wrong joke about the wrong food at the wrong time of day.
And finally, after college football’s opening weekend, LSU drops from 4th to 6th after nearly losing to Oregon State. After watching them play Saturday night I think they should have dropped further. They were the wrong team playing the wrong game with the wrong pre-season hype.
When It Rains It Pours
According to legend, there is a butterfly in Africa who mysteriously flaps his wings, creating a small breeze, and this breeze grows and grows and moves across the Atlantic as a hurricane with devastating winds.
We are hereby placing a bounty of $100 trillion (US) on that damned butterfly’s head, dead or alive. Contact the BMEWS Secretary Of War to collect your reward when you have destroyed that bastard.
Three of these monsters within a single two-week period is way too much. That damned butterfly must die!
Using Restraint In Hopes of Staying Out of Jail
This one is so rich with possibilities but I know if I go into some of them the FBI will knock on my door.
So I will let you figure it out.
Read this and wonder what “might” be.
on 09/06/2004 at 08:43 AM
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Update From The West Coast (part 2)
Well, boys and girls, I’m back----temporarily, anyway.
Yesterday about noon the power went out. It’s amazing how used you get to certain things: like expecting the fridge light to come on or walking into the bathroom and flicking the switch to find nothing happens.
Anyway, I felt like a druggie going through withdrawals. No TV, radio had the same stuff over and over, internet--not hardly likely (unless I owned a laptop--which might be a future purchase for just such an occasion as the phones almost always work.)
So........my parents still have power this morning. Went there for breakfast and decided to go back to the house, pack up the ‘puter and look to see what is going on.
It blew all day yesterday and the eye went over Tampa last night at 7 PM. Things got quiet for a couple of hours and then the winds changed direction. My yard looks like the trees decided to take huge shits all over it. Branches and leaves al over. It will take me a couple of days of solid raking to clear it all (and then I have to deal with the refuse!) The canal behind my house is getting higher and higher. Fortunately we’ve only had 7 inches of rain ( the buckets stage as defined in an earlier post.
Last night the winds started in on us from the south and the plants are now dancing the cha-cha-cha south to north. If it stays consistent they may straighten up from their “lean” yesterday.
Since the storm is so huge and tropical storm force winds extending almost 200 miles from the eye, we expect winds and rain until mid-afternoon. Power won’t come back for probably another 24-36 hours. Hopefully those without power won’t lose too much stuff in their freezers. I just switched my ice containers in order to preserve it as cold as possible.
So, all in all, things are well here. Folks are starting to grumble and it irritates me that these people lacks so much understanding for the situation we are facing. Example: one guy calls in to the radio station complaining that he was without power but knew that 2 local county commissioners were still with electricity. He then went on to allude that since they were commissioners they had “inside” help to stay on the grid. What this stupid fuck failed to understand is that 75% of the county is out and where my parents live (and where the 2 other commissioners live, they still have power.) Of course, this fucknuts never said anything about the other 3 commissioners without lights. He expected the power company to be out in 60 MPH winds re-rigging wires so he could have his TV and coffee pot.
These are the sort of people that if we ever truly faced a disaster, we’d have to frag simply to protect others.
OK, venting over and time to check out email and comments.
Reporting from one of the biggest “blow jobs” I’ve ever had, this is your Benevolent Dictator signing off.
on 09/06/2004 at 07:48 AM
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All Your Baseball Field Are Belong To Us
Marines in Iraq have decided the Middle East needs to understand that not all Americans are Yankees. In that spirit, they’ve built their own version of Boston’s Fenway Park, complete with Big Green Monster. No word yet on when Wrigley Field will be constructed. Shortage of ivy and red brick blamed for delay.
CAMP RAMADI, Iraq (Aug. 31, 2004)—Captain Stephen Pritchard has the ultimate offer to the Boston Red Sox CEO, John Henry, and Red Sox general manager Theo Epstein.
“If the Spring Training venue in Sarasota, Fla., ever proves to be untenable, then you are more than welcome to hold Spring Training here in Ar Ramadi, Iraq,” said Pritchard, a logistics officer with 3rd Battalion, 11th Marine Regiment.
Why such a gracious offer?
Cannoncockers of 3rd Battalion 11th Marine Regiment constructed a miniature version of the Red Sox’s Fenway Park at Camp Ramadi, Iraq.
“The Army here on base had their own baseball field, and we had to travel over there whenever we wanted to play,” said Pritchard, from Weymouth, Mass. “So we cleared up an area and built one ourselves.”
Pritchard provided the inspiration behind modeling the diamond after Boston’s famous baseball park.
“I am a big Red Sox fan, and Fenway has the most famous left field fence in the Major Leagues,” Pritchard said. “Not just that, but it is the most identifiable feature of any American sporting venue.”
The Marines used over 200 panels of recycled wood to construct the outer fence of the field that reaches 290 feet to center field. They used old light poles as foul line poles and over 120 gallons of green paint. The left field has an unmistakable feature like Fenway: the “Green Monster,” a 64-foot long and 18-foot high wall.
Daily Dose 06-Sep-2004
Labor Day
Quote Of The Day
“Man is so made that he can only find relaxation from one kind of labor by taking up another.”
-- Anatole France (1844 - 1924)
On This Day In History
September 6, 1901 - President McKinley Is Shot
President William McKinley is shot at the Pan-American Exposition in Buffalo, New York. McKinley was greeting the crowd in the Temple of Music when Leon Czolgosz, an anarchist, stepped forward and shot the president twice at point-blank range. McKinley lived for another week before finally succumbing to a gangrene infection on September 14. At the time of the shooting, President McKinley was very popular and America was in the midst of a period of peace and prosperity. Czolgosz, a laborer from Cleveland who fell under the sway of charismatic leaders of anarchy such as Emma Goldman and Alexander Berkman, became particularly obsessed with Gaetano Bresci, an anarchist who shot and killed King Humbert I of Italy on July 29, 1900. Czolgosz decided to kill McKinley to further the anarchist cause. While Presidents Lincoln and Garfield had been completely unprotected at the time of their assassinations, the newly formed Secret Service was now available to protect President McKinley. But when Czolgosz stepped up to shake McKinley’s hand with a handkerchief covering the .32 revolver in his hand, the agents thought nothing of it. After the shots were fired, the agents grabbed Czolgosz and began pummeling him, but McKinley warned, “Be easy with him, boys,” as he was helped to an ambulance. The president then told his secretary to be careful in telling the First Lady what happened. Working in a building with no electricity, surgeons operated on the president, who seemed to be recovering at first. Legend has it that his recovery diet was raw eggs and whiskey. Before lapsing into a coma and dying, McKinley’s last words were: “It is God’s way. His will, not ours, be done.” McKinley’s assassination led to reprisals against his critics across the country. Those who had spoken poorly of the president were tarred and feathered. Emma Goldman was even arrested for allegedly inspiring the murder. But Czolgosz took full and sole responsibility for the assassination and was sent to the electric chair less than two months later. On October 29, his last words were: “I am not sorry for my crime.”
Today’s Birthdays
Marquis de Lafayette, (1757–1834), French general and political leader
Joseph Patrick Kennedy, (1888–1969), U.S. ambassador to Great Britain, father of John F. Kennedy
Claire Lee Chennault, (1890–1958), American general
Thanks to The Quotations Page - The History Channel - The Biography Channel.
Sunday - September 05, 2004
Hoist The Tops’l
This future Navy Chief knows that when a storm is bearing down and the ship is dead in the water, sometimes you just gotta improvise. It’s too bad the officers aren’t this smart ....
Note: This one’s for all the retired Navy Chiefs out there .. and all the Ensigns and Lt. JG’s who made their life miserable. Anchors Away!
Le Joke Du Jour
John Kerry and John Edwards arrive at a McDonalds during a campaign swing through the Midwest. In her excitement at seeing the two candidates, an employee accidentally spills coffee on Kerry’s hand.
Within minutes Edwards had filed a multi-million dollar lawsuit against McDonalds while .... you guessed it .... Kerry was busy writing the incident up for his fourth Purple Heart
Quote From John Kerry: “I’m not French, I just look like a surrender monkey”.
More Bad News For Kerry, Part I: The US Navy has now launched an official probe into Kerry’s falsified military records.
More Bad News For Kerry, Part II: In a unanimous decision, the Mad Mullahs of Iran have declared that John Kerry is their selection as next President of the US.
When it rains it pours, don’t it John?
on 09/05/2004 at 04:19 PM
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